Comedy Thursday #495.

[RICHARD]

I was saddened to hear about Phyllis Diller's death.

I thought maybe a comedy Thursday would be a lot of fun.

Oh my, I remember Redd Foxx and hus blue albums, Richard Pryor and George Carlin.

Where have all the really funny comics gone?

[happylabs]

Yes, and Rodney Dangerfield too.

I have my own no respect line. I'm tired of my car insulting me everytime I drive it. When I turn the key it flashes "air bag". I don't appreciate my car calling me an air bag! :D

How about we have some "fizzies" and some Pop Rocks. :p

[pomtzu]

How about Bob Hope and Jack Benny when they got together? And of course George Burns and Gracie Allen. Classics indeed - and the jokes were actually clean! :)

Anyone for champagne with a strawberry to toast the good old days?

[Karen]

I have seen some modern comics that were good, but I don;t remember their names.

I liked the one woman, years ago, who did a stand-up routine that included something like, "As you can tell, I'm not one of those girly girls. My friend asked me why I don't wear make-up, so I asked how long it took her to get that done each morning. When she said it took her 45 minutes, I said, "See, that's why I don't do it! I need that time to clean my gun!"

[pomtzu]

Modern day??? - Jeff Dunham the ventriloquist and his trunk full of dummies. Very off-color but absolutely hilarious. :D

[Pinot's Mom]

Jeff Dunham is a current favorite, however, my all time favorite comedy routine belongs to Bill Cosby. Does anyone remember a 60's album (yes, I said album) called "To Russell My Brother With Whom I Slept"? CLASSIC!! Oh, and Tom Lehrer - no one does it like Tom Lehrer - 'Doing the Vatican Rag'...hysterical.:D

[happylabs]

Jeff Dunham is a current favorite, however, my all time favorite comedy routine belongs to Bill Cosby. Does anyone remember a 60's album (yes, I said album) called "To Russell My Brother With Whom I Slept"? CLASSIC!! Oh, and Tom Lehrer - no one does it like Tom Lehrer - 'Doing the Vatican Rag'...hysterical.:D

I love Bill Cosby! You have to see "Bill Cosby Himself" from the 80's, stand up comedy routine. It has been on HBO off and on since then. It is hilarious!

[smokey the elder]

Recent comics I like: Jeff Foxworthy, Steven Wright (he is SO deadpan!), Robin Williams, Paula Poundstone, Jeff (fa-fa) Dunham (If you've seen any of the Peanut gags you'll understand!)

[pomtzu]

Recent comics I like: Jeff Foxworthy, Steven Wright (he is SO deadpan!), Robin Williams, Paula Poundstone, Jeff (fa-fa) Dunham (If you've seen any of the Peanut gags you'll understand!)

Silence - I keeeeel you...............:D

[happylabs]

Recent comics I like: Jeff Foxworthy, Steven Wright (he is SO deadpan!), Robin Williams, Paula Poundstone, Jeff (fa-fa) Dunham (If you've seen any of the Peanut gags you'll understand!)

I LOVE Steven Wright! :p :D

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright

[pomtzu]

I had always liked Bill Cosby as a comic, until I saw him on a talk show and in an interview about civil rights or some related issue. He was so arrogant and pompous - sat with his arms folded across his chest the entire time, and had a defiant attitude and was argumentative with every word he spoke. The interviewer was not giving him anything to have an attitude about, and after watching all that go down, I lost all respect for him. Maybe he was just having a bad day, but he certainly turned me off.

Jeff Dunham - we went to see him live at the DE State Fair a couple of years ago. Had 2nd row seats!!! His show was basically his "Arguing With Myself" routine which I pretty much know by heart by now, but it was still a blast seeing him in person. Guitar Guy played a pretty big part in the show too - was actually what you might refer to an "opening act", and pretty funny as well. :D

[Catty1]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-19316443


Comedian Stewart Francis has won an award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

The deadpan Canadian funnyman was given the prize by digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put a selection of their favourites to a public vote.
He won for the joke: "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."
The British King of the one-liner, Tim Vine, took the runner-up spot for the second year in a row.
Vine, who won the award two years ago, appears twice in the list of 10 jokes compiled by the TV channel, as does Francis.

The top jokes were:



1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."



2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "



3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."



4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case."



5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y."



6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."



7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."



8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"



9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad."



10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances."

[gini]

You are all laughing so hard - and no one brought any food. Here you go - some hot out of the oven turkey sandwiches - lettuce, mayo and tomato added. Some tater chips and pickles and olives.

I will see if I can find some salad to go with these when I go out again.

Who makes me laugh - well Robin Williams always did a great job.................and Gallagher and George Carlin.
I could use some laughs today! - Thanks, Richard.

[RICHARD]

Sorry I havent been here to serve...

I am a little down.

There is a little lizard I see on the deck from time to time and this last time he ran away from me when I approached.

It made me sad to think I have A reptile dysfunction.

ba-dum

Turkey sandwiches for everyone!


DONE!

[pomtzu]

It made me sad to think I have A reptile dysfunction.



GROAN...........:rolleyes: