Some "women" - RANT

[pomtzu]

Some women just don't deserve to be called "mother", and my grandson's biological "mother" is one of them. :mad: He lives with us - his dad (my son) has full custody (that ought to tell you something right there and thank God he was never married to this person), and C usually goes to see his "mother" every other weekend only. Well today is his 16th birthday and he was supposed to go to her place this Sunday to celebrate his birthday with her side of the family, even tho it wasn't her weekend. C's grandfather (her stepfather) called to wish him a happy birthday, and then informed him that there has been a change of plans. It seems that C's mother's husband's sister just had her baby, so mother is going to Baltimore to see them, instead of seeing her own son. What a piece of crap!!!! I imagine she got him the same birthday gift this year too, that she did last year. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! She was in a financial bind, so she said, and promised to make it up to him. Of course she never did. And now this. What a slap in the face!!! My son is going to be absolutely livid when he finds out, and I can't say that I blame him. And has "mother" even bothered to call today and wish him a happy birthday and explain her way out of her commitment to him for Sunday??? I'll give you three guesses!!!!! All I have to say to her, is "payback's a biach", and she'll get hers one day.

But C will be having too much fun to really care, I do believe. Among other gifts that he is getting, is a tablet ( oops-not a notepad) from Dad and his wife, and I got him a cell phone. He is going to be in 7th heaven!!!! ;)

[Karen]

Takes more than biology to make one a parent, regardless of gender!

[moosmom]

Boy does THAT suck!!!

I'm glad he's spending his 16th with his Dad and you guys. It'll be the most memorable he's ever had, I'm sure. I'm actually surprized he's not wanting to spend it with his friends. When my daughter turned 16, (before she was diagnosed with brain cancer) she didn't WANT to hang out with us old fogies!!

Like Karen said, it takes more than biology to be a parent. You're a great Grandma, Pomtzu!! He's very lucky to have you!

I could use a new cellphone, wanna adopt me???:p;)

[Cataholic]

Can only echo Karen's sentiment, though, I guess it isn't really a sentiment is it?

Children need a solid foundation of love. Sometimes they get that from two parents. Sometimes, they get it from other other sources. I hope he has a wonderful 16th!

[pomtzu]

Can only echo Karen's sentiment, though, I guess it isn't really a sentiment is it?

Children need a solid foundation of love. Sometimes they get that from two parents. Sometimes, they get it from other other sources. I hope he has a wonderful 16th!

His stepmother (my son's wife) is more of a mother to him than his own ever was or will be. They are taking C out to dinner tonight, and the big birthday bash is this Saturday. We're celebrating his and my granddaughter's 20th which was last Saturday, then. It's always a lot of fun, since every year we celebrate the two on one day. And it usually looks like Christmas with all the gifts, but both kids are so appreciative of everything, that it makes it all worthwhile! :)

[carole]

makes me livid and sad at the same time when i read this, but thank goodness he is going to be with the real people who love him and are not selfish like his mother, i often think yeah payback would be nice when these parents get old, maybe their kids just won't care, but that probably won't happen, as he sounds a great kid,it is just very sad, when parents can only think of themselves.

I hope your grandson has an awesome 16th birthday and it sounds like he will despite his thoughtless mother, however i am sure the hurt is still there, wish him the best for a super duper day.:):love:

[Freedom]

Ellie, he is 16, he has grown up with this. Believe me, he KNOWS who loves him and who has too many issues to cope with life. He is one of the lucky ones, his Dad and Dad's family are very involved in his life and he knows what love is.

[Karen]

If he ever struggles with his bio mom, tell him I have one friend who had a much easier time with the relationship when she decided to think of the woman who gave birth to her as her "crazy aunt," and not expect to have a mother-daughter relationship out of the deal!

[mrspunkysmom]

Well, wish your grandson a happy 16th from the kitty krew. I know you'll see to it that he enjoys it. Sometimes things happen for a reason. My mom was a pain in the arse, but she didn't abandon us, at least not when we were young.

[Taz_Zoee]

I know the position you are in, sort of. When I was with my ex-boyfriend he has two children and got custody of the kids shortly after we started dating. The mom would tell the kids she was coming to visit then cancel at the last minute. The older child, a girl, couldn't have cared less. She always thought mom favored her little brother anyway. But it crushed the boy. One time he came to me with the saddest look and asked me "why does she do that?" He was about 12 at the time. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say "because she is a FLAKE!!" But instead I reassured him that she loved him and sometimes things just happen. He knew better. That wasn't the first time it happened. A couple years after we stopped dating she was killed in a car accident. Now I think it would be nice for them to have a mother AT ALL, even if she was a flake. :(

Your grandson will still have a great birthday. Maybe someday she will decide to have more of a relationship with him........before it's too late.

Happy birthday to both of them!! :D

[pomtzu]

"Mother" finally called him at 9:30 last night - probably as an afterthought. Her excuse??? - she had job interviews all day in Baltimore. Guess there just wasn't enough time to put in a quick call to her son on his birthday, yet she found enough spare time to go to the hospital to see the new baby! :rolleyes: She's moving to Baltimore soon, but not soon enough or far enough away to suit me. She never mentioned one word to him about cancelling for Sunday either.

Her world revolves around her 4 year old daughter. She seems to have forgotten that she also has two sons - 16 & 19 years old. Three kids with three different men. :rolleyes: This last one was sucker enough to marry her tho. He's as useless as she is and my grandson hates him with good reason, but that's another story.

Can you tell I'm still ticked off??? :eek:

[moosmom]

Three kids with three different men.

Boy does THAT speak volumes!!! Does she pay child support for the 16 year old?? If not, she SHOULD. When Amy went to live with my ex, I paid child support till she was 18. People would ask me why. I simply told them that when she was living with me, he paid so why not???

I'd nail that biatch to the wall and make her accountable for his support. JMO

[pomtzu]

Boy does THAT speak volumes!!! Does she pay child support for the 16 year old?? If not, she SHOULD. When Amy went to live with my ex, I paid child support till she was 18. People would ask me why. I simply told them that when she was living with me, he paid so why not???

I'd nail that biatch to the wall and make her accountable for his support. JMO

She's "supposed" to be paying voluntary child support, tho my son has never taken her to court - much to my dismay!!! Sometimes she pays - other times not. She owes thousands in back support (which my son is keeping track of), and she always has an excuse - hubby lost his job, etc, etc, etc. - I'll make it up when yadda-yadda-yadda. Sure - when Hell freezes over. My son threatens to take her to court to make it mandatory, and then she straightens up for a while, and then stops paying again. The only thing she pays on a regular basis is for C's school lunches during the school year, and then she complains about that. BIG WHOOP!!!!! She never even buys him any school clothes or anything else he needs, so it's all on my son and DIL. My son says C will be 18 in 2 more years, and then he won't ever have to deal with that nasty biach "woman" again. He's counting the days. :D

[moosmom]

He's counting the days

Can't say that I blame him AT ALL!!

When I paid my last child support check, I was ecstatic that I didn't ever have to deal with my ex or his wife again. They made my life a living hell.

My daughter got married a year ago. I was happy for her, but could not WAIT for it to be over. They told my future son-in-law that if I was invited to the rehearsal dinner, they wouldn't pay for the reception. Was I hurt and angry, you better believe I was. My brother was very pissed off. He told me to pick the most expensive restaurant, anywhere I wanted to go, bring my BFF (whose daughter was in the wedding party) and have dinner on him. When asked why I wasn't at the rehearsal dinner by some of the wedding party, I told them I wasn't invited. They told me that was utter BS. While they were having greasy pizza, I was having filet mignon!!! But unlike them and their childish behavior, I carried myself very well the whole day. We basically ignored each other. During the rehearsal, the JP asked if my ex's wife and I wanted to walk back down the aisle together, since my ex was in the wedding party. I said, "Sure, why not??" This biatch said VERY curtly, "I'd rather have my son walk me back down the aisle." When pictures were being taken, it was payback time!!! The photographer would ask for the Mother of the Bride and SHE was step up. The photog said, "No, the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE!!" I took such pleasure in that. Looking at the wedding pictures, she was dressed like a "frump" and hardly smiled in any of the pictures.

Your grandson is very lucky to have you, his Dad and stepmom. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Believe me, I know EXACTLY what you're going through.

[caseysmom]

My granddaughters other grandmother is the same way with her kids, my daugters boyfriend gets so upset with her and now upset about her not being interested in her grandchildren I don't understand why people like that have children. I just tell him its her loss and she drinks too much so we wouldn't want her driving the babies anywhere anyway.

[Asiel]

That does stink Pom--Be happy that you and his real family are the ones he will be spending his birthday with. I can bet anything that he's secretly happy about it . I think celebrating with him and your granddaughter together will be a great occasion to remember. Bet you all have loads of fun, just put the other one on the shelf for that day. She just is not worth getting upset over, ignoring her will make your day and your grandson's day memorable if you dwell only on the love you all share.
Wish him and your granddaughter a huge Happy Birthday and take lots of pictures, something to be treasured forever.
You know that old saying " What goes around , comes around"-- just remember that it will someday.

[catnapper]

I have the same complaint about my stepkids' mother. She ignored them, never sent them gifts or cards. I never met the woman face to face and am glad I haven't because she would have gotten a few choice words. The funny thing is she HAS gotten her payment. None of her kids want anything to do with her. The on who DID want to know her and forge a relationship now refers to her by her first name (and its said with bitterness) and he lets anyone know how he feeels about mommy dearest.

You always reap what you sow when it comes to loving a child. I could never understand how she didn't want to know her kids. They were all different, all good kids. Yeah, we had growing pains while they tried to figure out their way in life, but everyone does. She will never know her kids now. Nothing she will ever say or do will repair their relationship.