Dear Patch

[Lady's Human]

Please stop eating the cabbage plants. They're much better when mature, trust me.

I know you like to sit in the picture window and watch the swallows, but is it REALLY that difficult to get your fuzzy butt down from the window and walk over to the food bowl to get your snack?

[catmandu]

I have noticed that a few of My Cats :love::love: will nibble at lettuce once in a while so Ptch is not alone as a Veggie Cat.:cool::cool:
Any other HerbiCats out there!!!:love::love:

[Karen]

Maybe you should plant some skunk cabbage for him? ;)

[Edwina's Secretary]

What a silly hooman you are LH!

Patch is trying to save you from having to eat cabbage! And for heaven's sake - don't you realize how important it so to stay on guard against the evill sparrows?? One moment of distraction and anything could happen.

All these sacrifices for you and so little appreciation!:rolleyes::rolleyes:

We may have to get Groucho involved to get poor Patch the appropriate respect!

Eddie/es

[katladyd]

Mac and Kimba both love to share my bunny's timothy hay with her. Some cats like a little green now and then.

[Lady's Human]

What a silly hooman you are LH!

Patch is trying to save you from having to eat cabbage! And for heaven's sake - don't you realize how important it so to stay on guard against the evill sparrows?? One moment of distraction and anything could happen.

All these sacrifices for you and so little appreciation!:rolleyes::rolleyes:

We may have to get Groucho involved to get poor Patch the appropriate respect!

Eddie/es

We appreciate Patch, we appreciate his mousing skills, he makes an awesome lapwarmer, and we show our appreciation by putting up with his banzai charges through the house.

I wasn't aware that birds were such a threat, I'll have to reconsider.

[cassiesmom]

Please stop eating the cabbage plants. They're much better when mature, trust me.

I know you like to sit in the picture window and watch the swallows, but is it REALLY that difficult to get your fuzzy butt down from the window and walk over to the food bowl to get your snack?

Dear Patch,

Cassie agrees wholeheartedly with you. As a cat, yes, getting down from the window and going to the food bowl for a snack is optional. She would tell you that is Food Lady's (that's me) role... please serve my snack here, cos I'm not moving!

Happy lap-warming! Hugs and lovies to you, Trillian and Lady :love:

[Lady's Human]

Dear Patch,

Cassie agrees wholeheartedly with you. As a cat, yes, getting down from the window and going to the food bowl for a snack is optional. She would tell you that is Food Lady's (that's me) role... please serve my snack here, cos I'm not moving!



Cassie,
Any helpful advice on training humans?

Thanks in advance,

Patch

[Lady's Human]

Okay, I suppose this one is my fault.


Sorta.

But the humans KNOW I sneak out into the mudroom when they're not looking.

But did you REALLY have to laugh at me hanging by my claws in the middle of the window?

And Lady, you could have at LEAST gone to wake up the humans to lets them know I was out there instead of just staring at me.

[Karen]

I bet Lady was having a good chuckle deep inside, Patch!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Patches! How many times do I have to tell you not to dart out the door without taking your cat phone with you?

From experience...Edwina e/s

[Lady'sOtherHuman]

I wish I was fast enough with the camera at the time. I had discovered him. Lady was staring very intently at the door so I looked to see what she was looking at and there he was hanging from the middle part of the window pane looking very pathetic.:D

[Lady's Human]

Now this is getting absolutely silly.

Patch, no matter how many times you jump up to the window of the door and look out hanging by your claws, you're NOT going outside.

No matter how pathetic you look at us after you fall down.

[Karen]

Oh, Patch! The world outside is simply not safe for fluffy bright-colored kitties! There's stuff out there that would eat you for lunch - never mind the cars that wouldn't see you in time to stop!

[cassiesmom]

Cassie,
Any helpful advice on training humans?

Thanks in advance,

Patch


Dear Patch,

I taught my food lady to give me a kitty treat on the kitchen rug. I stood there and looked at her with the "I'm hungry" look, and she just couldn't resist. Now I have her trained - if I go to that spot and meow, she knows to serve me a treat. I also taught her how to give me catnip or kitty grass when we had those growing on the windowsill. When she would water them, I would hop up on the chair next to the window and meow, so she would offer me catnip or kitty grass. Now, I hop up there and meow when I want her to give me dried catnip. Didn't take long to train her at all. I think the meowing has helped, but she definitely responds to the Look, too. Try them both and see what you think.


Purrs and head bumpies,
Cassie


p.s., I used to be an outside kitty. Inside is much better.

[Freedom]

LOL I loved reading this thread, my first of the morning!

Patch, you just keep on being you, and don't worry about the humans, they will figure it out. Those pesky swallows, on the other hand . . . .

[Lady's Human]

Cassie,

Thanks for the advice.

I've figured out, however, that waking them up at 4AM by walking on them is a very effective way to get them to fill the food bowl.

I've trained one of the short humans pretty well, he gives me treats all the time, but I just wish they'd let me outside. I don't care WHAT they say about Coyotes, I know I can handle myself. After all, did they forget how I got here?

I guess I'll just have to wait for winter so I can get back to mousing inside.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch,

Darling...you must tell them if they REALLY love you and REALLY do not want you to go outside they must bring the outside to you. A couple of small rodents, two or three birds of the appropriate size would be a good start...

Edwina e/s

[Pinot's Mom]

Dear Patch,
I have an abundance of live treats to share, I'll get some on my afternoon romp today and send them right up! Would you prefer chipmunk, shrew, birdie, or a deer? Call me on the Catberry!

Purrs, Pinot:)

[Lady's Human]

How about a chipmunk and a birdie? Maybe throw in a shrew for Trillian, even though she doesn't play well with me.

[Pinot's Mom]

On the way! Sure you don't want a deer? I keep telling Mom and Dad I can take one! ;)

[cassiesmom]

Cassie,

Thanks for the advice.

I've figured out, however, that waking them up at 4AM by walking on them is a very effective way to get them to fill the food bowl.

I've trained one of the short humans pretty well, he gives me treats all the time, but I just wish they'd let me outside. I don't care WHAT they say about Coyotes, I know I can handle myself. After all, did they forget how I got here?

I guess I'll just have to wait for winter so I can get back to mousing inside.


Dear Patch -- Cassie here. That sounds like an excellent method of letting the humans know you need food! And having been an outside-only cat before I went to the shelter, I can tell you that inside is much better.

[Lady's Human]

Dearest Patch,

I know, you got irritated when we took away your last kill.

However, that was not reason to hide that where you did.

We have a portable heater in our living room that stays behind the loveseat out of the way when not in use. The loveseat gets moved for vacuuming, etc, but the heater just sits there.

I moved it the other day as it was cool enough to need heat, but not cold enough to turn on the furnace.

Under the heater was a very dead mouse. Don't know when he put it there, but obviously we need to keep a better eye on hidey holes.

[Karen]

Yikes, RIP mousie. You did NOT pick a good home to invade!

Patch, sorry, but you should present your trophies to your hoomans, not hide them away. They do NOT get better with age, I promise!

[Lady's Human]

Maybe, just maybe if you stopped ambushing Lady every time she came in from going outside she wouldn't snarl at you when you try to curl up with her on the couch.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch....apparently Lady has NO sense of humor....

[Lady's Human]

Dear Patch....apparently Lady has NO sense of humor....

What was that old saw......something about pets resembling their owners? :D

[Lady's Human]

Dear Humans,

If you can meow to the world about me, I'm going to have my minute as well.

Remember, laps are for cats, not keyboards.

Please remember this and correct that major shortcoming. It gets tiring to remind you of this every day.

Please open the short human's door before you go to bed. Failure to do so WILL result in early morning wakeup calls to let me in his room. Remember, I'm just as stubborn as you. :p

The hidey hole under the deck is MUCH safer for me than the house in case of a storm. I keep trying to tell you this, but you still refuse to let me outside. Have you forgotten how you found me? Just because you saw me one morning in the driveway doesn't mean that's how I got here or that that's the first place I saw YOU.

Thanks, and I'll be expecting improvement.

I KNOW you'll read this, after all, you've got that keyboard thing in your lap again this morning.

<sigh>

Patch

[Karen]

Now, Patch, inside in someone's lap is a safer place to be than the hidey hole under the deck in a storm! After all, the hides hole might be the place some other critters decide to use, and I do not think you'd enjoy sharing the space with a s*k*u*n*k - they might object to your attempts to play ...

[Lady's Human]

And in a bizarre version of feline clue.......

It was Patch


In the office


With the Spaghetti squash.:rolleyes:

[Edwina's Secretary]

Darling Patch...

How many times do I have to remind you...use the acorn squash - not the spaghetti squash!

Yours in gourds...

Edwina e/s

[Lady's Human]

Okay madame mayor.

I have had enough.

A kitty torture program was NOT cool.

Patch.

(for the rest of the board.......Karen downloaded a Roger Tory Peterson field guide complete with bird calls to our dad's Ipad. It was driving the cat insane trying to find out where the birds were in the diningroom)_

[Karen]

(for the rest of the board.......Karen downloaded a Roger Tory Peterson field guide complete with bird calls to our dad's Ipad. It was driving the cat insane trying to find out where the birds were in the diningroom)_

Awww, he could hear them, even when Grandpa couldn't I bet!

Sorry Patch!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch,

Ooooo, where did you get that app?

Edwina (who plans to torture Eddie with it!)

[Karen]

Edwina, it is currently free at the iTunes store! Believe it or not it is NOT marketed as kitty torture ....

[Lady's Human]

Kitty torture.......we've got an app for that! :p

[cassiesmom]

Dear Patch, are your people still torturing you with the bird call app? How are you? How is Lady?

Your fan,
Elyse

[Lady's Human]

Elyse,
I am well, though my human still puts that keyboard thing in his lap and he doesn't know enough to sit still while I'm trying to sleep. He keeps moving his legs around.

And why did you have to give the dog more medication. She keeps body checking me into things with her head. I don't like it.

[Lady's Human]

Okay, guys.

It's a simple concept.

If the food bowl is in the middle of the floor, IT'S A HINT! (And please stop poking fun at my fur, it's tough keeping it all in place with all this dry air!)

[Karen]

Hee hee! Um, Patch, you do know it is up to the hoomans to decide when you get food, don't you? And I thought the dry air just enabled you to build up static to zap them!

[Lady's Human]

My sincere apologies for taking away your latest kill.

Good job nailing the little bugger, but we didn't need mouse guts on the carpet again.

[Lady's Human]

Dear Humans,

Especially the big one,

Would you PLEASE stop giving Lady the pills? I tried to ambush her again......and lost again.

That game was so much more fun when she couldn't move as well.

I thought you loved me?

Patch.

[Karen]

Um, Patch, that's called "leveling the paying field" - gotta give the old girl a fair shot!

Are you not, as a cat, supposed to be agile enough to avoid the head slams?

[Lady's Human]

With the sole exception of mousing, coordination has never been his strong suit.....

This time he almost got himself flipped over the back of the couch. :p

[mrspunkysmom]

Dear Patch,

Spunky can't jump and at least you aren't running head first into the wall. The cat would run fast down the hall and forget to turn at the bedrooms :D

[Lady's Human]

Dear Patch,

Spunky can't jump and at least you aren't running head first into the wall. The cat would run fast down the hall and forget to turn at the bedrooms :D

Well, about that......


I think there's an indent in the wall in the diningroom.....fuzzy feet don't turn too well on pergo.

[Lady's Human]

Ambushing Lady from underneath the loveseat is NOT an approved practice. (I think someone's getting tired of the slams into the wall from Lady post-ambush)

[Karen]

Oh, Patch, there's gonna be consequences you might not like if you keep that up! I'll send Grandpa back with the birdie-torture device ...

[Lady's Human]

My most sincere apologies to Patch.

I relaxed on the couch in the wrong direction. It was funny because he was absolutely put off by me laying in the wrong direction. He paced around several times before finally deciding that it was still Dad's lap, and though it was going the wrong direction, it was still prefereable to a bare couch.

[Karen]

Hmm, just was reading a book on animal cognition, and it mentioned toward the end that while studies of dog cognition have become more acceptable and popular in the scientific community, almost no studies of cat cognition exist!

[Bengalz]

I can relate to this situation:) Eve is very particular:rolleyes: you have to be in the right spot in the right chair at the right time ... a little OCD;) but she does have us trained well. Same is true for sleeping arrangements ... she know just how to get her way:D. Fortunately she is very sweet about manipulating her hoomans into submission.:love:

No worries Patch - you did it right!!

[Lady's Human]

Thanks for trying to help Lady feel better, even if she didn't exactly appreciate it.

[Lady's Human]

Patch feels a disturbance in the force......

[Karen]

Hee hee hee - as well he should (mwaahaahaa ...)

[Karen]

Patch, napping stretched out,
Twitches - a disturbance in
The Force is coming ...

[cassiesmom]

Hmmm, Patch... I hope you get to be fast friends with the coming disturbance ;)

[Lady's Human]

Wow. No wonder I couldn't find this thread.

Been a while.

Dear Patch,

Whatever possessed you to try to go after Angel's NEW rope?

Did you want to become a chew toy? It wasn't the wisest decision in your fuzzy life.

[Karen]

Yikes! Knowing how quickly Angel dismantles her rope toys, I agree with your Daddy, Patch - NOT a good idea!

[cassiesmom]

Dear Patch, I love how you are pre-warming your dad's shirt and applying just the correct amount of your fur and scent :)
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h65/commolady/347_zps6ae385a6.jpg

[Lady's Human]

Well that was amusing.

Patch saw MJ and Angel go outside, then the boy got ready to go outside, and he got MAD!

Kitty swearing, running from window to window in the house, truly upset.

I don't care what kind of display you put on, you are NOT going outside.

[Karen]

Well that was amusing.

Patch saw MJ and Angel go outside, then the boy got ready to go outside, and he got MAD!

Kitty swearing, running from window to window in the house, truly upset.

I don't care what kind of display you put on, you are NOT going outside.

Hmm, maybe try him with a harness and leash? Some kitty are furious at first, but then "get" that the harness means outside time - whee!

[cassiesmom]

Well that was amusing.

Patch saw MJ and Angel go outside, then the boy got ready to go outside, and he got MAD!

Kitty swearing, running from window to window in the house, truly upset.

I don't care what kind of display you put on, you are NOT going outside.

Dear Patch, maybe you need a catio?! :love:

[Lady's Human]

What he needs is a large dose of catnip. :p

[Lady's Human]

And patch has discovered playing hockey on the new tile floor with a penny he knocked off the woodbox.

Shiny AND noisy!

[Karen]

And patch has discovered playing hockey on the new tile floor with a penny he knocked off the woodbox.

Shiny AND noisy!

Better than ice cubes, like Freckles used to do!

[Lady's Human]

Patch, we appreiate your rodent control efforts. REALLY! but could you please, please clean up after yourself?

[Karen]

Patch, we appreiate your rodent control efforts. REALLY! but could you please, please clean up after yourself?

Someone leaving you gifts again? Or just corpses strew about?

[Lady's Human]

Someone leaving you gifts again? Or just corpses strew about?

Little fuzzy corpse in the doorway to the bathroom at 2AM.

[Karen]

Little fuzzy corpse in the doorway to the bathroom at 2AM.

Yikes - better than on your pillow ...

[Lady's Human]

Does anyone make armor-plated cables for computers?

Patch has decided they make good chew toys. :rolleyes:

[Karen]

Does anyone make armor-plated cables for computers?

Patch has decided they make good chew toys. :rolleyes:

Paper towel tubes - or toilet paper tubes make fine cable disguises! and the plugs general fit through them ....

[cassiesmom]

Paper towel tubes - or toilet paper tubes make fine cable disguises! and the plugs general fit through them ....

Talk to Amigo's meowmie Momcat about this. Amigo went through a "cables make good chew toys" phase. Patch, love - those are NOT chewable!

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?185138-Asking-for-your-advice&highlight=cable

[Lady's Human]

Once again, I don't care how loudly you swear at us, you are NOT going outside, particularly with the 'yotes in close.

The kids were out brinigng in firewood last night, and Patch was following them, window to window. He was yowling and whining up a storm, and trying to get out the door every chance he could get.

[Lady's Human]

Patch was a little embarrassed this afternoon.

I put some catnip on all three levels of his kitty condo. He was so wrapped up in the catnip that the tipped his kitty condo over on himself. Angel, of course, had to investigate.

[Karen]

Patch was a little embarrassed this afternoon.

I put some catnip on all three levels of his kitty condo. He was so wrapped up in the catnip that the tipped his kitty condo over on himself. Angel, of course, had to investigate.

Ha! How hooomiliating!

[cassiesmom]

Patch was a little embarrassed this afternoon.

I put some catnip on all three levels of his kitty condo. He was so wrapped up in the catnip that the tipped his kitty condo over on himself. Angel, of course, had to investigate.

"I meant that to happen." -- Patch

[mrspunkysmom]

"I meant that to happen." -- Patch

Cats are so good at dissembling.