Management issues

[catnapper]

I was promoted to assistant manager last summer. The coworker who wanted to position has given me headaches all year. The manager left for vacation on Thursday..... friday and today were loooong days.

Th man who got passed over for the promotion is like a child. A 50 year old child. He pokes and prods until you you react. Thursday night after the boss left, he spent all night saying thing like, "oooo, Kim is in charge now, watch out because she's going to change the rules!" or "Its going to be a fun week because I get to pick on Kim all week." Poke poke poke, like a little kid poking his brother in the arm and then pretending he didn't do anything once the brother starts screaming.

Good grief! The more I try to ignore him, the worse he gets.

This morning, he showed up in a polo shirt. Men HAVE to wear shirts and ties. I said something to him about him being casual, but I did NOT tell him to change or that he should be dressed differently. He knows, and I KNEW it was a test. I have to treat lightly around him. Ten minutes later, something else happened (not important WHAT, just that something happened) and he started screaming at me. Telling me how awful and unfair I am. It all stems from jealousy because he wanted the job. I stayed calm and didn't fight. I state clearly and calmly what is expected from him on his job. I told him to stop worrying about what other people do. I told him I was aware he was starting a fight on purpose.

I had to keep from laughing when this 50 year old man also said, "I told my mom that you'd make an issue of this shirt!" He had a shirt and tie in his car. :rolleyes:

He started to send an email to the boss's boss about me. I told him he should think twice before he opens that door because I would come out better ---- Go ahead and tell the boss how you're out of unniform, how you refused to do your job. See how far you get with that email. So he didn't send it. The funny thing was that once he had his little temper tantrum, he was okie dokie the remainder of the day.


The big boss called to check in after the whole blow-up. I told him everything was slow and that I needed to talk to him when he had a minute - he said he'd call me tomorrow. My question is this: do I tell him we had issues but I fixed them? The boss is well aware of this guy's personality.

This is the first time since being promoted that I am completely in charge. I want to have my manager's confidence to leave me more often, as well as the big boss's confidence. But I also want them to know what happened. Do I say, "Hey Big Boss, this happened yesterday but I handled it" or just tell them there was some tension (without saying who) and that we worked through it, or tell him what he wants to hear -- that everything is perfectly fine and running smooth ????

Hubby says I should have written the guy up for insubordination (he was SCREAMING at me and slamming things) but my manager always threatens to do that and never follows through. Why should I be the first person to write people up in my office?

[Karen]

Write everything down, include details, like who else was -present when he was throwing his tantrum. Then tell your boss that things happened, but everything was smoothed out, and give him the document if he wants more details. You want a record of this in case worse happens next time.

[cassiesmom]

Write everything down, include details, like who else was -present when he was throwing his tantrum. Then tell your boss that things happened, but everything was smoothed out, and give him the document if he wants more details. You want a record of this in case worse happens next time.

Agree agree agree. You want a record in case a trend starts to develop, if you see patterns of tactics like the dress code thing.

[Taz_Zoee]

I also agree with Karen. I was thinking to just make a statement like "well, so-and-so was being his normal self", since you said your manager knows how this guy is. And then if your manager asks for more details give them what you wrote down.

Good luck! This guy should not get away with treating you like this. You are, afterall, the assistant manager. You are in management, and all employees should respect that. They don't have to like it, but they should respect it.

[Laura's Babies]

To bad there aren't video cameras in there (for security purpose, of coarse)..

I use to use write ups when I was in management. It covers your own butt and for some reason, seeing it in writting, even though I had said it to them a dozen times, seeing it in writting shines a whole new light on it and they GOT IT THEN!

I caution you as to what you allow him to do or he'll only get worse.

Your boss needs to let everyone know that HE backs YOU up and that alone gives you power! My boss respected me and backed me up 100% no matter what! I hope you have that kind of boss...

[Randi]

First, congratulations on your promotion! I like this the best: "there was some tension (without saying who) and that we worked through it." Do take notes of what has been going on, though. The key is to keep calm, although I think it must be very difficult.

Good luck! :)

[Freedom]

Yep, dates, times, who else was present and saw, write it all, keep a copy for yourself, let the boss know things happened, you got it sorted, he can read the details if he wants.

CYA - cover your ass

[sasvermont]

Well, I think talking to your boss about the details would be a complete waste of time. He knows what this guy is like and that he didn't promote him (probably for those same reasons) so all you would tell him would be nothing new. I would just say that it was "trying" at times but you handled it and if he wants details, then go for it and give him the details. I suspect he knows exactly what he'll hear. If this idiot's (co-worker) behavior was something new, then it would be an entirely different situation.

That's my opinion but it doesn't make me right.

[catnapper]

Well, first thing this morning, the guy pulled me aside and appologised for his behavior yesterday. He said it was a huge overreaction and he was out of line. I agreed and accepted his appology and told him I am not tolerating his behavior.

The boss called and asked what I wanted to talk about. I told him that we had an issue yesterday and everything is 100% ok today. I'm sure he'll ask more later, in which case I'll say You-know-who was just being his normal self. The boss guy will laugh.

[mrspunkysmom]

Awesome.

My advice is the same as others. Document everything, but don't let it get so far out of hand and wait too long to tell your boss.

[Taz_Zoee]

Well, first thing this morning, the guy pulled me aside and appologised for his behavior yesterday. He said it was a huge overreaction and he was out of line. I agreed and accepted his appology and told him I am not tolerating his behavior.

The boss called and asked what I wanted to talk about. I told him that we had an issue yesterday and everything is 100% ok today. I'm sure he'll ask more later, in which case I'll say You-know-who was just being his normal self. The boss guy will laugh.

Wow, that's good that he apologized. But I still think you should document everything for yourself. You don't need to give it you your manager.........yet. But if something comes up down the road you'll have details of this encounter. You can also document that he did apologize for his behavior the next day.

[Cataholic]

Unless the store was on fire, or someone died, I wouldn't say a single thing to the manager while he is on vacation. Let him enjoy his time away, and he will appreciate YOU doing his job in his absence. When he comes back, have an opportunity to speak to him briefly and fill him in on the high lights. Throw in, "I understood a lot more of your job trials now" and laugh it off. Save the detailed report for your own file. Otherwise, you look like a tattle tail, and that you need to be micromanaged.

If the guy already knows the other guy is wonky...find the way to make yourself shine: by doing your job, and his, and being a good sport about it all.

And, really, I would ignore the guy as much as humanly possible. Wearing a polo shirt instead of a shirt/tie might be off limits...but, no reaction would ever come from me. If he wants to disobey "rules" (and I happen to think dress code rules are silly), let him. Mention it once, and move on. Mention it to the 'boss' and let him do what he thinks appropriate.

I would ignore him completely, in regards to the silly stuff.

[momcat]

First off, document EVERYTHING! Who knows what, if anything, this individual might say to your boss about the incident. You can be sure if he does his version will be self-serving. Always CYA!!!

[moosmom]

I'm with Karen. Document EVERYTHING!!!!! He sounds like a real piece of work. I'm sure there were people around who heard his outburst, and saw how he was dressed. I wouldn't want your job, Kim!!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Unless the store was on fire, or someone died, I wouldn't say a single thing to the manager while he is on vacation. Let him enjoy his time away, and he will appreciate YOU doing his job in his absence. When he comes back, have an opportunity to speak to him briefly and fill him in on the high lights. Throw in, "I understood a lot more of your job trials now" and laugh it off. Save the detailed report for your own file. Otherwise, you look like a tattle tail, and that you need to be micromanaged.

If the guy already knows the other guy is wonky...find the way to make yourself shine: by doing your job, and his, and being a good sport about it all.

And, really, I would ignore the guy as much as humanly possible. Wearing a polo shirt instead of a shirt/tie might be off limits...but, no reaction would ever come from me. If he wants to disobey "rules" (and I happen to think dress code rules are silly), let him. Mention it once, and move on. Mention it to the 'boss' and let him do what he thinks appropriate.

I would ignore him completely, in regards to the silly stuff.

I am in complete agreement with you Cataholic, except for one thing. This is retail. Dress codes matter. You may find them silly but that is not the point. I have known plenty of employees who have thought many "rules" are silly. If I had a nickel for every time an employee has said "what's the big deal about being to work on time? That's silly!" I just read a case involving a neonatology nurse who wanted to be exempted from the hospital's very generous attendance policy. Fortunately the court agreed with the hospital that attendance is an essential function of the job...:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I get so annoyed at Nordstrom's - they have eliminated name badges for the employees. It is challenging to figure out who works there and can answer questions. In retail there is a reason for a dress code - so I can figure out who works there more easily. Uniforms, and that includes dress codes, exist for a reason - lots of reasons really.

[Cataholic]

I wasnt aware Nordstrom eliminated name badges....How would you know that they were an employee versus a shopper?

I think people can be clad in many "appropriate" garbs, none of the must be a tie and shirt (which minus the jacket doesnt work for me anyhow, stylistically). Frankly, a tie with a short sleeved shirt (uh uh) looks the same to me as a nice 'polo'. Name badges included, of course.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I wasnt aware Nordstrom eliminated name badges....How would you know that they were an employee versus a shopper?

I think people can be clad in many "appropriate" garbs, none of the must be a tie and shirt (which minus the jacket doesnt work for me anyhow, stylistically). Frankly, a tie with a short sleeved shirt (uh uh) looks the same to me as a nice 'polo'. Name badges included, of course.

You just wander around asking anyone you see dressed all in black (how uncommon is that???) until someone admits to working there. Now that is silly!

I just do not think it appropriate for me to substitute my fashion preferences for those of the business owner. If that is the image the owner has determined is best for business - you can wear it or work elsewhere. You know the golden rule..."he (or she) who has the gold rules." ;):p;)

[catnapper]

Personally I always thought it unfair that women can wear basically anything we want but men get strangled with ties. My point to him about the shirt was an observation instead of complaint (picking my fights and all that) the shirt became an issue after he tested me in a couple other ways.

A female cowrker got away with tan jeans yesterday knowing full well jeans are prohibited. How she expected me to consider tan jeans NOT jeans I dunno.... and of course I never got to talk to her yesterday because she arrived 35 minutes late and the store was crazy busy. I cant ignore customers to chastize her... nor am I going to say anything to her in front of the entire sales staff. It was closing time before I knew it and the opportunity to talk was gone.

[catnapper]

Oh and as for name tags, I am often out shopping and customers come up to me as if I work there. I could be standing there with the basket as a shopper, and always get asked questions about product. My favorite time was when I was wearing stained sweats and greasy hair. If I really dressed like that for work! I guess I just look like a salesperson even if it's not my store

[kitten645]

"Personally I always thought it unfair that women can wear basically anything we want but men get strangled with ties."
Oh nooooooooooo...I worked for MANY years and had to wear a skirt and pantyhose. I'd wear a necktie any day over pantyhose. And of course if you wear pantyhose you have to wear a certain heel. Torture.
You know if you take a job at a corn dog hut, you are signing on to wear a silly hat. I also work retail and can't tell you how many times I've been dragging a heavy fixture across the floor or been behind a cash register with my giant gold name badge and had someone ask me if I work there. I generally reply "I hope so or I'm doing alot of work for free!"
Document everything. Name names. A job is not a right. If he behaves like a 10 year old at 50 perhaps he deserves to be treated as on. You are in charge. Do not let that come into question.

[catnapper]

In my store, women can basically wear what we want. My one female coworker routinely wears seasonal sweatshirts (as tacky as can be.... the guadier the better in her mind) and HR didn't amend the dress code just because one style challenged woman out of a hundrrd wears a sweatshirt. Yet men have to wear a tie.