pomtzu
03-24-2012, 12:08 PM
I just learned that my best friend for about 10 years of my adult life, passed away last March - a year ago! - and I didn't know anything about it. She and her (then) husband, and me and my (then) husband were very close, but we 2 ladies more so than the guys. We all went on camping trips together, spent holidays together, and just in general, hung out a lot together. I can't even say how many hundreds of hours Joyce and I spent at the dining room table, along with that darn Scrabble game. And those two just adored my two boys, and were like another set of parents to them as they had no children of their own. I never had to worry about day care, as Joyce didn't work and insisted on watching the kids while I worked. There was only one problem with our association with them - Tommy was one of the world's biggest bigots! I could ignore him and turn him off when he got to spouting off, but the problem arose when my kids started getting bigger and could somewhat understand the concept of what was being said. My ex and I spoke to Tommy several times about taming it in front of the kids, but to no avail. Since we didn't want our kids subjected to any of that, eventually we just stopped hanging out with them and we went our separate ways. Some years later Joyce and Tommy divorced, but we never reconnected - I was busy with my own failing marriage, raising 2 teenage sons, working full time, all while trying to keep some semblance of order in my own household, and then Joyce struck up a relationship with another man that lasted till she died, tho they never married. My hubby and I also went our separate ways when our boys were grown and on their own.
I always wanted to get back together with Joyce - we had such great times together and she was such a good friend, but this new partner of hers - I don't know - just something I couldn't put my finger on. I had only seen her a few times over the past 15 years or so - and usually just bumping into her in a store. And what makes it even worse, is that she lives less than a half mile from my house on the same road I do, and every time I get in my car to go somewhere, I drive right past her house. Which brings me to how I learned of her passing.
For the past month or so, I've noticed a new car parked in her driveway - a very small body style car. That in itself isn't anything strange, but the fact that Joyce is a VERY large woman (morbidly obese) is, and there is no way on earth she would ever be able to get into a car that small. I mentioned it to my son a couple of days ago, and he said he had noticed and thought the same thing.
So on a hunch this morning, I Google'd obituary, her name, and state - and there it was! It is definitely her - same town, same d.o.b., same particulars. I just sat here and cried! Why did I let all those years go by, and at least not stop by the house and chat when I saw her outside, or send a card on her birthday, etc. It would probably never have been the same as it was years ago, but we still could have stayed in touch. I wish I had at least been able to say good-bye to her on the day of her funeral.
I feel like such a rotten "friend". :(
I always wanted to get back together with Joyce - we had such great times together and she was such a good friend, but this new partner of hers - I don't know - just something I couldn't put my finger on. I had only seen her a few times over the past 15 years or so - and usually just bumping into her in a store. And what makes it even worse, is that she lives less than a half mile from my house on the same road I do, and every time I get in my car to go somewhere, I drive right past her house. Which brings me to how I learned of her passing.
For the past month or so, I've noticed a new car parked in her driveway - a very small body style car. That in itself isn't anything strange, but the fact that Joyce is a VERY large woman (morbidly obese) is, and there is no way on earth she would ever be able to get into a car that small. I mentioned it to my son a couple of days ago, and he said he had noticed and thought the same thing.
So on a hunch this morning, I Google'd obituary, her name, and state - and there it was! It is definitely her - same town, same d.o.b., same particulars. I just sat here and cried! Why did I let all those years go by, and at least not stop by the house and chat when I saw her outside, or send a card on her birthday, etc. It would probably never have been the same as it was years ago, but we still could have stayed in touch. I wish I had at least been able to say good-bye to her on the day of her funeral.
I feel like such a rotten "friend". :(