Noise intolerance, hyperacusis: totally stressed

[Kirsten]

Some of you may already have read on Facebook that the noise in my neighborhood is driving me crazy since the summer vacations have started. The kids outside have always been loud, especially in the summer. Since I don't have a/c, the windows in my apartment are always tilted in the summer, otherwise I would fry here under the roof. Like I said, the neighbor kids, and many other kids in the street, have always been loud; the younger neighbor girl is always screaming in a very high pitched voice, the older one is bossing her around, which is not a pleasure to listen to. It's been annoying, but I least I got some peace during the night.

This has changed now, because last winter, a new family has moved into the neighbor house (the same house were also the family of these two loud girls lives). Now, there's a boy in that new family, maybe 11 years old, and his window is opposite to my bedroom/office window. He's hyperactive, and very very loud. He's often standing in the open window, yelling down to the kids on the street, and that's as loud as if he would stand right next to me.

But what's been worst so far was the night before last night. There, he had a friend staying in his room over night, and he talked all night, at the open window, which he closed at 7 am (!), then it was finally quiet. Too late for me, as I got a nervous breakdown at 6 am in the morning, as I have to admit. :o I slammed doors and screamed, and now I'm terribly ashamed of it, because others in the house heard it (I think they heard the boy, too, but obviously nobody felt disturbed by him :confused:). I'm feeling terrible since I had that breakdown, totally stressed.

And that boy is not the only problem: Garden parties on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, lawn mowers all day, kids playing in the streets till late at night, and some moron shot a blank gun all day yesterday, which scared Luna almost to death. :( Things have gotten so bad in our street!

I cannot read, I cannot write, I cannot relax, I cannot sleep. I'm feeling this noise almost physically, and it makes me ill.

I was wondering if I may have hyperacusis, because obviously I'm more disturbed by the noise than others here. Maybe it's because everyone else around here has/had families and kids, so they're more used to it? Due to my various illnesses, I cannot tolerate noise and stress very well, and I have to admit that I'm feeling really burnt out after this horrible weekend. :( And it's still five and a half week to go until school starts.

Sorry, guess I just had to vent. :o

[Karen]

Oh, dear. Would noise-cancelling headphones help you at all?

[Kirsten]

Oh, dear. Would noise-cancelling headphones help you at all?

I was thinking about it... I tried ear plugs, but due to neurodermatitis inside my ears, they are not such a great option. Sometimes I use them, though, but they're itching.

[Freedom]

What about a "white noise" machine?

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-SleepMate-980A-Electro-Mechanical-Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM

Obviously you'd have to find one in your country, but may be worth it!

[Kirsten]

What about a "white noise" machine?

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-SleepMate-980A-Electro-Mechanical-Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM

Obviously you'd have to find one in your country, but may be worth it!

Interesting. Never heard about those things, but maybe it's worth a try... Will do some research... :) Thanks!

[Catty1]

Hopefully you have talked to the uncle and had him go with you to talk to the boy's mother. She cannot know how sick this is making you.

Is there another place in the same building you can move into?

That boy has hyper-something! Surely it is bothering other people too?

[Kirsten]

Hopefully you have talked to the uncle and had him go with you to talk to the boy's mother. She cannot know how sick this is making you.

Is there another place in the same building you can move into?

No, I cannot move somewhere else. I have talked to his uncle and he has talked to the boy yesterday, but was of course only referring to the noise he made during the night. We'll see if that helps. He also gave me his mother's phone number today so I can call her the next time. But during the day time, I have to tolerate the noise, there's no other way.

[phesina]

Oh, what a nightmare for you, Kirsten! Prayers that somehow you will get some relief soon in a permanent way, a noise-cancelling machine or a white-noise machine ...or SOME reason for the noisy neighbors to move away!

Can you be checked out medically for hyperacusis? And if so, might the doctors and other medical people have some remedies?

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} and ~~~~~~~PURRS~~~~~~~~ that this is not a problem for you much longer.

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love: from Pat and cats

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear this.:( I've found that as I've gotten older that I can't tolerate noise the way I used to or crowds either. I'm very surprised that others don't feel bothered about it the way you do especially the noise during the night. I've had to sleep with earplugs for years now and now I can't sleep without them. I hope you can find something that will help you either get rid of the noise or be able to tolerate the noise better. Good luck.:)

[Vette]

Sorry to hear of your distress. *hug* when i dont sleep well... its not pretty. so you have my sympathies.

what about trying out a box fan in your window/s?

my brother has a couple of them an they buffer the noise from the outside. only problem is is create a constant danged noise themself...

[Kirsten]

Thanks for all the advice and support. It's really a stressful time and I'm feeling burnt out. Over the last couple of days, the kids have started playing soccer in the evening, usually till 10 pm! And they're screaming so loudly while they are doing this. I can't believe that I'm currently sitting here waiting for the thunderstorms they have predicted, hoping that would make them disappear.

The worst thing is (apart from the stress and the fact that I cannot do the things I need to do to relax) that I cannot stand myself, being like this. Everyone must just think I'm a child hater or a grumpy old woman. I wish I wasn't like that. I heard that people with thyroid conditions are often overly sensitive to noise, so maybe it's because of that, I don't know..

But it's like some of you have said: I really can't believe that others are NOT disturbed by the noise! I cannot understand how you can NOT be. :confused:

[Karen]

But it's like some of you have said: I really can't believe that others are NOT disturbed by the noise! I cannot understand how you can NOT be. :confused:

Kirsten, not everyone has the same level of hearing. Paul and I are a good example.

All his life Paul has had excellent hearing, so has been more sensitive to loud noise than others. The one "rock" concert he went to with me was too painful for him to enjoy, and it was soft rock at best! I, even before I had the surgery that left me half deaf, have never been bothered by loud noise. I grew up in a noisy household, my mother taught piano and we all played different musical instruments, and there were 4 of us kids, too. So I grew up tolerant of it all. Now, of course, I hear on only one side, so loud noises are even softer if they happen to my right.

When I was a child, after we were all in bed for the night, my mother would often sit and play the piano - maybe just to remind herself what the instrument was supposed to sound like! So I can fall asleep to music, even find that pleasant to do.

I am guessing you hearings is much more sensitive than normal people, and your physical illness makes it even less comfortable, sadly. But I do think noise-cancelling headphones might help you.

[pomtzu]

I can understand how you feel, but fortunately I don't have to deal with it. I live in the country where houses are far apart and the kids have acreage to play on. Besides, there are no kids in my vicinity anyway. I could never live in the suburbs, let alone the city, since I need my space and wouldn't have it there, and the noise and congestion would be more than I would care to deal with.

Some people don't mind the noise - they just tune it out and are used to doing so, since they probably have, or did have kids at one time, and it's just something you learn to do. It all comes down to a way of maintaining your sanity! :p

Now that there are no small children for me to deal with, I feel silence is not all that golden for me. I hate it! I have to have a t.v. or radio on all the time - just for the sound. The way I figure it - silence will come to me one day - so I'd better enjoy the sounds while I can!

But the sounds you are having to deal with are not of your choosing, so I understand your frustration. Wish I had a suggestion for you. Any way you could put an air conditioner in the window - that way the windows could stay closed and you wouldn't suffocate from the heat. Just a thought.....

[GrandChester]

I talked about this with my boyfriend a few days ago when we were dining out. The kids with those high pitched blood curdling screams are the worst. I sure do feel bad for you. I don't understand why parents or guardians put up with such noise levels. We were all kids once but I never remember screaming and carrying on like that. I dont remember any of my playmates like that either. Too bad you dont have a quiet summer home to go to.
You have my sympathy dear.

[Kirsten]

When I was a child, after we were all in bed for the night, my mother would often sit and play the piano - maybe just to remind herself what the instrument was supposed to sound like! So I can fall asleep to music, even find that pleasant to do.

Yes, that might have a lot to do with it. I grew up in a small family, and it was always quiet in my room at night. When I still went to school, I could never have the radio or tv on while doing homework, I felt disturbed by it. When I moved out, I was 20, and I always lived on my own. Maybe that's why I'm just not used to it. I always hated it when I heard the neighbors making noise, even when I still lived in my old apartment. It was one of the reasons I moved. :(



I could never live in the suburbs, let alone the city, since I need my space and wouldn't have it there, and the noise and congestion would be more than I would care to deal with.

Congestion is another thing, and maybe it's making things worse. I'm actually a loner and I need my private space, and I hate the thought that other people are so close (even if I don't see them). Sometimes the very thought of it makes me feel claustrophobic. I think I'm actually not made for living in overcrowded areas. Maybe this is why I cannot stand other peoples' noise. I don't mind the sounds of nature; actually, I love them. Nothing more relaxing that listening to the wind, or the rain, or thunder...



The kids with those high pitched blood curdling screams are the worst. I agree!! There is this one girl in my neighborhood; not only that she has a very high-pitched voice, she's screaming and squealing all the time. Makes my own vocal cords hurt just to listen to it! I was hoping her voice would get a little lower when she's older, but she's 9 years old by now, and her voice is still the same. :(


We were all kids once but I never remember screaming and carrying on like that. I dont remember any of my playmates like that either.

I didn't grow up like that, either! And we were never allowed to play outside that late!

[Karen]

I was hoping her voice would get a little lower when she's older, but she's 9 years old by now, and her voice is still the same. :(
!

It'll likely be a least a couple more years before her voice changes, if it ever does! Just FYI.

[Catty1]

Kirsten, if you are on disability now, is there any way for a doctor to write a letter or etc so you can qualify for affordable adult-only housing?

{{{hugs}}}

[Asiel]

Kirsten I can so relate to what you are going through. Have you been checked by a doctor ? I have vestibular hyperacusis, caused by a severe head trauma when I was a child and I have major trouble with noise myself. We also in the country and I would never dream of living anywhere else. We used to live in town and the noise from regular everyday things bothered me no end. Since moving here 20 yrs ago it's like living in another world. Everything is super quiet, no subdivisions , everyone lives on acreage so any mowing or regular noise is so far away it doesn't bother me. All I hear are the sounds of nature which is a treat for me.

[Lizzie]

I can sympathize also, and to some degree empathize.

I have excellent hearing, and I've embarrassed a few doctors by telling them what they discussed in the hallway. I love loud rock music but could never go to a rock concert because it would be painful, it has to be to my sense of loudness.

I love, and need silence - complete and utter silence with not even the sound of wind or rain. I relax totally in silence. However, I can fall asleep with a movie running and the cats running around knocking things over. But those are my personal sounds and I'm controlling them - well, not the cats' behavior but they are my cats and it's my choice to have them.

I loathe the summer weekend noises of lawnmowers, blowers, power washers, and people who believe you should enjoy whatever music they are playing. I have to put on a movie, though I don't watch it, so it is my noise I'm hearing rather than other people's.

I live in the suburbs and it's not really a loud neighborhood but there is a small airport and Boeing plant a few miles away from me. When I moved in 27 years ago, they didn't test planes at night and a small plane going overhead was very rare. Now my Saturdays are punctuated with plane after plane going over, commuters planes on weekdays, and planes being tested at night - those roars really travel on the night air.

A white noise machine might be just what you need because the sound will be something you control and you will get used to it, so not notice it in time.

[sasvermont]

I would try using head phones - really good ones. They might just do the trick. I personally, can't stand headsets/phones especially the kind that fit it your ears. I get a sick stomach from them.

I live in a very quiet building, neighborhood and town. I do hear trucks etc. during the daylight hours, but we don't even have barking dogs at this point. I fear that the house next to mine will be sold soon. My biggest fear is that a family with kids will move in. I know, not all kids are miserable to be around, but the house next to mine is in poor shape and I suspect some low life will buy it....Our neighborhood is very quiet. All adults live on my road/street and all of the neighbors are VERY considerate of each other.

I have complained to the town officials from time to time, if illegal fireworks are set off etc. and it seems to work.

Are there no town noise ordinances? Is there an official you could complain to? I bet you are not the only person bothered by the awful noises.

How about buying an air conditioner?

What a miserable situation to be in......I have lived in cities before and the noises can be unbearable.

[Karen]

I thought of another example, Kirsten. Paul cannot stand wind chimes, and finds them horrible and discordant. I love them! I do think much of it is about how sensitive one's hearing is, as well as the environment one grew up in.

[Kirsten]

Again, thanks a lot for all your advice, it's very appreciated. As for white nose machines and air conditioners, it all depends on the costs, not only the costs for the machine itself, but also for the electricity they need. Energy is VERY expensive in Germany, it really is; and I'm already paying way too much as my apartment is badly isolated. And since I'm no longer working, I'm really poor now, not kidding... :o



It'll likely be a least a couple more years before her voice changes, if it ever does! Just FYI.

I would be glad if she would at least stop that screaming; something you'd think you could expect from a 9-year-old. :rolleyes:



Kirsten, if you are on disability now, is there any way for a doctor to write a letter or etc so you can qualify for affordable adult-only housing?

No, I don't think there is such a thing in Germany, only old people's homes, and I'm not that old. lol


Kirsten I can so relate to what you are going through. Have you been checked by a doctor ? I have vestibular hyperacusis, caused by a severe head trauma when I was a child and I have major trouble with noise myself. We also in the country and I would never dream of living anywhere else. We used to live in town and the noise from regular everyday things bothered me no end. Since moving here 20 yrs ago it's like living in another world. Everything is super quiet, no subdivisions , everyone lives on acreage so any mowing or regular noise is so far away it doesn't bother me. All I hear are the sounds of nature which is a treat for me.

No, that hasn't been checked yet, but I will ask my doc. Thanks for telling me about it. Your home sounds like a dream to me, I would love to live in such a place!


I live in the suburbs and it's not really a loud neighborhood but there is a small airport and Boeing plant a few miles away from me. When I moved in 27 years ago, they didn't test planes at night and a small plane going overhead was very rare. Now my Saturdays are punctuated with plane after plane going over, commuters planes on weekdays, and planes being tested at night - those roars really travel on the night air.

That's another thing, they're building a big airport now in Kassel (30 km away), and the route for the landing planes will be right over my hometown. As far as I know, this also includes night flights. Is there any chance to get used to it? I hope that airport won't make things worse for me.


I fear that the house next to mine will be sold soon. My biggest fear is that a family with kids will move in. I know, not all kids are miserable to be around, but the house next to mine is in poor shape and I suspect some low life will buy it....

Ugh, that would be awful! Keeping my fingers crossed that this won't happen.


I thought of another example, Kirsten. Paul cannot stand wind chimes, and finds them horrible and discordant.

I actually love the sound of mine. It's funny that even with over sensitive hearing, we still have our own personal likes and dislikes, isn't it?

[Karen]

I actually love the sound of mine. It's funny that even with over sensitive hearing, we still have our own personal likes and dislikes, isn't it?

Yes, it is! I think the best thing to focus on now is what you can control. Even wear old-fashioned earphones that go over your ears, and play something you find soothing - might help both block out the external noise, and help you focus on something else. I find those big headphones way more comfortable than the "ear-bud" things, I must have really small ear canals, as they never fit me right, anyway. Even if you play soft soothing music or ocean sounds - you can find all sorts of stuff free online and sometimes even just language lessons - the voce repeating phrases over and over - can distract you enough from external noises and make you concentrate on what is coming out of the headphones instead ...

[Lizzie]

I thought of another example, Kirsten. Paul cannot stand wind chimes, and finds them horrible and discordant. I love them! I do think much of it is about how sensitive one's hearing is, as well as the environment one grew up in.

I utterly loathe, abominate and can't stand wind chimes. They make me feel as though all the nerves in my body are being scraped. I will immediately hunch my shoulders as soon as I hear one and get away from it as fast as I can. I'm relieved to hear that someone else, and someone who also has excellent hearing, finds them intolerable.

The people who lived next door to me for years had wind chimes and I was far more likely to close my windows on their side on a windy day than close them because of one of the frequent family rows. Like sasvermont I dreaded the thought of a family with children moving in, but in my case knew I was doomed to disappointment because I live half-a-mile away from a trio of prize-winning schools. So, yes, I got a single dad with two boys about 7 and 8 and one of the first things he did was buy them bb guns.

[Kirsten]

Yes, it is! I think the best thing to focus on now is what you can control. Even wear old-fashioned earphones that go over your ears, and play something you find soothing - might help both block out the external noise, and help you focus on something else. I find those big headphones way more comfortable than the "ear-bud" things, I must have really small ear canals, as they never fit me right, anyway. Even if you play soft soothing music or ocean sounds - you can find all sorts of stuff free online and sometimes even just language lessons - the voce repeating phrases over and over - can distract you enough from external noises and make you concentrate on what is coming out of the headphones instead ...

I can also listen to the music on my mp3-player, that would be soothing and I wouldn't hear the noise. But when I'm reading or writing, I cannot listen to any music, it's distracting me too much, and that's a huge problem in the summer time when it's loud. I love writing in the evening hours (some kind of biography, but only for myself, to cope with certain things), but I simply cannot do that at the moment. The other day, when I was helping a friend with a translation job, I tried ear plugs, but they made me feel as if I was under water, and I couldn't work that way.



So, yes, I got a single dad with two boys about 7 and 8 and one of the first things he did was buy them bb guns.

How very annoying!! :( Reminds me of that boy in the neighborhood. Another thing I hate are those bobby cars. Their wheels are making horrible sounds on the pavement, they're terribly loud. Always hated them.