If your cat was dying, would you go on vacation? :-(

[Kirsten]

This is more a rhetorical question 'cause I know you wouldn't. But a friend of mine is doing just that, and I can't get over it. Her kitty boy (he's turning two today) was diagnosed with FIV a couple of days ago (his sister died from FIV a year ago), and he's already very ill. He felt better after some shots last weekend, but has taken a turn to the worse now. Tomorrow, she will go on vacation with her kids (until next Wednesday), and cancelling the trip was never an option! We just spoke on the phone (she lives 500 km away) and she was considering to take him to vet today, but was reluctant because she feared he would be PTS on his birthday; she said she could never do that. Then she asked me what I would do, and I replied that, quite honestly, I would cancel the trip and stay with the kitty. I said that going on a journey would NEVER be an option for me with a dying cat at home. She was like, "well, my relationship with this cat is different from yours with Luna and Lily". My reply: "Well okay, then better don't ask me, I cannot give you any advice then". I really cannot believe how selfish some people are! :mad:

Another thing: The cat, who is so miserable that he can barely walk, was allowed to go outside. Told her it's irresponsible, also for other cats to be exposed to an FIV positive kitty, but she said he was whining and she didn't want to ruin his birthday (WTF!!) by keeping him inside against his will. All this makes me so sad - and angry! Honestly, I have no words for this! :( As I'm 500 km away, there isn't anything I could do for this kitty. I hope he'll have at least a peaceful passing.

[chocolatepuppy]

Honestly Kirsten, I couldn't stay friends with someone like that, maybe friends, but not very good friends. If the cat is not doing well, I think she should have him PTS before she leaves. I myself don't think I could ever leave one of my animals that was dying.:(

[Kirsten]

I couldn't even leave my pets if they were "just" ill! How could I enjoy a trip while my furry friend is suffering at home?!
Probably I shouldn't even have posted this because it's not loyal (towards her), but I'm so very upset right now! :mad:

Oh, and I sure hope she won't have another pet after this one! She told me the other day that her kids now want a dog...

[pomtzu]

That's a sad story, and it doesn't appear that the outcome will be a good one.

Personally - I would not go on vacation under those circumstances. Last year right about this time, Myndi almost died (she's now 15 1/2), and I feel that she is living on borrowed time anyway. I am torn by wanting to visit my brother for a week or so, yet I am at the same time, fearful that if I do go, that something will happen to Myndi while I'm gone, therefore I wouldn't be able to enjoy my visit. I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

I hope your friend will do the right thing.

[Barbara]

I can't understand how she can think that his birthday matters. He doesn't know that it's his birthday but he will know he is sick and alone. I think she had him better PTS than leaving him alone in a time like this.

[Kirsten]

That's a sad story, and it doesn't appear that the outcome will be a good one.

Personally - I would not go on vacation under those circumstances. Last year right about this time, Myndi almost died (she's now 15 1/2), and I feel that she is living on borrowed time anyway. I am torn by wanting to visit my brother for a week or so, yet I am at the same time, fearful that if I do go, that something will happen to Myndi while I'm gone, therefore I wouldn't be able to enjoy my visit. I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

I hope your friend will do the right thing.


She will go on that trip, no matter what... :(

No, I fear the outcome will be bad, especially for that kitty.

I can see your dilemma, and I understand that sometimes it can be difficult to chose. I have once cancelled a weekend trip because my RB Katz was really ill (she died a few months later). That choice wasn't hard to make at that time. It may be different when you have to go on a business trip or something else you cannot cancel, I wouldn't know what to do in such a case. But I would try to do anything possible to stay with the pet.

[Kirsten]

I can't understand how she can think that his birthday matters. He doesn't know that it's his birthday but he will know he is sick and alone. I think she had him better PTS than leaving him alone in a time like this.

I agree 100%!! It's really beyond me that she cannot stand the thought of him being PTS on his birthday, but leaving him alone for four days, all alone and dying!

[sasvermont]

Kirsten, there is something wrong with your friend's thinking. I would find a new friend, for sure.

Sorry for being so blunt.

You are such a different person than your friend. You deserve much better companionship than your friend can offer. Really.

[Kirsten]

Kirsten, there is something wrong with your friend's thinking. I would find a new friend, for sure.

Sorry for being so blunt.

You are such a different person than your friend. You deserve much better companionship than your friend can offer. Really.

Well, luckily I have my PT friends who share my love and respect for animals (and one real-life friend, too :)).

[Catty1]

Sorry to sidetrack - but pom, would an opinion from your vet help you decide whether or not to go for the visit? You and I and all of us know our babies better than anyone...but it's just a thought. :love:

Kirsten - is someone looking after the cat while she is away? Poor kitty. I hate to think what her kids are learning about dealing with pets. :(

[Kirsten]

Kirsten - is someone looking after the cat while she is away? Poor kitty. I hate to think what her kids are learning about dealing with pets. :(

A neighbor is looking after him, as far as I know. But the cat is outside right now and obviously starts hiding (you know, the way cats do when they are really ill), so I think it's a very difficult situation for that neighbor to look after that kitty.

[chocolatepuppy]

Probably I shouldn't even have posted this because it's not loyal (towards her), but I'm so very upset right now! :mad:

Please don't feel you're wrong in posting this. You needed someone to talk to about it and we don't even know who she is.

[Taz_Zoee]

I would absolutely not go on the trip. Even if I had my mom or brother taking care of the animal I would not be able to go enjoy myself. If the cat is really THAT sick I would let him go and be free so I could have a peace of mind while on my trip. Sure I'd be very sad, but I'd know my kitty wasn't at home suffering in pain.
It makes me sad to think this kitty may pass on his own without his family around. :(

[phesina]

Oh my God.... I cannot believe how completely cruel and horrible that person is.

What a fine role model for her children.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Not only would I not go, there was a time (or two) I didn't go to the hospital when I should have and mine were all healthy. :love:

[pomtzu]

Sorry to sidetrack - but pom, would an opinion from your vet help you decide whether or not to go for the visit? You and I and all of us know our babies better than anyone...but it's just a thought. :love:
(

Not sidetracking Kirsten - just an explanation here.

I value the vet's opinion, but that wouldn't ease my mind any. Myndi has kidney disease (not failure) and is on a special diet, and also has a heart murmur but it's stable and she takes no meds for it. She would be well taken care of by the family, but would be without humans around all day while son and DIL are working. She needs to eat, but both pups usually go on a hunger strike in protest for at least the first couple days that I am gone. So between the kidney issue, and the GI bleed that she had last year, not eating and being stressed out would not be good for her. Now you see why I am very hesitant to go and leave her. :(


And Kirsten - don't feel that you have betrayed your friend by saying anything here. Like CP said - we don't even know her. However, we all know you, and how much you value the health and well being of your girls, and your concern for other people's furkids too. We all stand behind your beliefs, and feel just as you do. :love:

[Asiel]

No way would I ever leave a sick pet for a vacation. And the thought of having it pts so she can go is appalling to me. I guess I'm a real sucker for my dogs but I could never even go away for a whole day and leave a sick dog...been there, Everything got cancelled and we stayed home. I can barely handle watching a sick dog when I'm at home, let alone think of leaving on vacation.
I think your friend needs to do some heavy thinking on her decision....I really feel sorry for the poor cat.

[Kirsten]

Thank you everyone for your kind words! Means a lot to me! I'm thinking about that poor kitty all the time!

Last night, my friend sent a message to my cellphone, telling me that it has started raining and that the kitty came back home, and that he "was fine" WTF! :confused: Guess it's these typical ups and downs that come with these fatal viral diseases. The day before yesterday, she told me that no one was allowed to touch him because he was so very much in pain. According to the vet, his brain is affected which leads to occasional limpness and stiffness, and sometimes he can barely walk, or get up. Sounds like nerve damage to me. And now she's telling herself "he's fine", probably only to be able to leave with a clear conscience! :( At least the kitty is inside now (I hope he still is!), so it will be easier for the neighbor to look after him!



And Kirsten - don't feel that you have betrayed your friend by saying anything here. Like CP said - we don't even know her. However, we all know you, and how much you value the health and well being of your girls, and your concern for other people's furkids too. We all stand behind your beliefs, and feel just as you do.

Thanks for saying that. Yes, I would probably try to stop the world for Luna and Lily if needed! ;)
And I can see your dilemma re. Myndi very well. Hard to tell, but I probably wouldn't leave her then. Can't your brother come to visit you instead? Just a thought...



Not only would I not go, there was a time (or two) I didn't go to the hospital when I should have and mine were all healthy.

I understand that. When I applied for disability pension this year, I feared that they would send me to a rehabilitation clinic (which they do a lot here for chronical ill people). I would have refused to do that because I wouldn't want to leave my girls for 4 or 6 weeks! They're not ill, but 11 and 8 years old, and you never know how much time there is left, and I wouldn't want to waste any of that time by being separated from them. Also, I know they would be unhappy without me. Last year, when I had my rehabilitation after my back surgery, I went to a day clinic, driving 80 kilometres every day for the therapies, just to stay with my girls. :love:


Another update: She just called me to give me the latest news. He's at the vet's now, running a fever of 106°F; he's getting infusions now and will stay at the vet's office as long as she's away. Glad she decided to take him in, at least he'll be looked after now and will get appropriate care.

[phesina]

Oh, thank GOD that he's at least at the vet's where he'll be getting the medical treatment he needs and will be looked after hopefully with love and kindness.

[happylabs]

I have a whole different thought on this and you all are going to hate me but "the cat is so miserable he can barely walk". I would have him PTS now. He obviously has no quality of life. Why prolong it? He will not get better, correct? It is the humane thing to do.

Yes, your friend is a horrible person.

[Medusa]

My belief has always been "People first" but we've got to draw the line somewhere and this is definitely the place to draw that line. I could never leave a sick pet behind while I went on vacation. When my son and I went to England, my Fur Posse were all relatively healthy. Boo and Pidge were on meds but they were old and I was concerned but since they were doing so well and my cat sitter was a vet tech, I felt they were in good hands. However, later, I had my plane ticket to go to CA for Thanksgiving to see my son and to cook Tday dinner for many of his friends. By that time, Pidge had passed and Boo was not doing well at all. I bought cancellation insurance and told my son point blank that if I felt uneasy about leaving Boo that I would cancel my trip. My son is the one who suggested that I do that b/c he feels the same way about my Fur Posse and Boo was his favorite. Even his friends knew that there was no way I'd leave that cat to possibly die w/o me holding him and telling him how much I loved him. How could I possibly have had a good time knowing that he was sick and wanting me there w/him? (As it turned out, Boo passed before Thanksgiving.)

As for your friend, some people just do not feel about their pets the way we do. I'm glad that her cat is at least getting good care at the vet's and if he does pass, it will be w/people who will give him attention. When you talk to your friend next, perhaps tell her why she should have been w/him, that our pets love us and need us at that time more than ever, that if they do pass, it makes it so much easier for them; they're less frightened and they leave us knowing that they were loved. Besides that, it's our responsibility as pet owners to see them through illness no matter the outcome.

If possible, please let us know how the little kitty is doing, Kirsten. (((HUGS)))

[Kirsten]

Oh, thank GOD that he's at least at the vet's where he'll be getting the medical treatment he needs and will be looked after hopefully with love and kindness.

Yes, I was glad to hear that, too. Much better than being alone at home, or - even worse - somewhere outside.


I have a whole different thought on this and you all are going to hate me but "the cat is so miserable he can barely walk". I would have him PTS now. He obviously has no quality of life. Why prolong it? He will not get better, correct? It is the humane thing to do.



No, I don't hate you at all for that thought. I was actually thinking the same. It's the second time within 8 days that he had a fever of 106°F, which makes me believe that the virus is out of control. When my friend called yesterday, she said he'll be fine after the infusions, but IMO it's naive to think so.



How could I possibly have had a good time knowing that he was sick and wanting me there w/him?

Exactly!! If one of my girls would be that sick, or even dying, I would be crying all the time and would have no single moment of peace. But's it's probably like you said: Some people do not feel about their pets the way we do (here at PT). :(

I'll keep you updated!

[Randi]

There's only one answer to this question... OF COURSE NOT!!!

[DriftyAlison0]

I would still go on vacation, but I will ether stay home or find a hotel/motel close by that allows cats and bring the cat and the other cats with me.

[Marigold2]

Is this a vacation that is paid for and cannot be refunded? If you have dished out $5000.00 for a holiday that you have perhaps waited years to take one has to enter this into the thought process.
If this sweet kitty is in pain or unhappy perhaps it is time for her to go to the Rainbow Bridge.
There are just so many different variables here. If my kitty was sick I would stay home, if kitty was dying I would have her put to sleep.
I would not forfit a $5000.00 vacation for a dying kitty.
I hope that does not sound horrible.
I love animals so................ but I am very practical as well.

[aTailOf2Kitties]

My very old dog took a turn for the worse a few days before I was going on vacation for 2 weeks. Since she was already on medications for all of her ailments and nothing else could have been done, I helped her across the bridge the day before I left. I kept her as comfortable as possible for another day until everyone who knew her could say their goodbyes. She crossed the bridge after being given fond farewells from her loved ones and I left for Florida knowing her tired old body was peacefully residing in my parents' back yard.

If she hadn't gotten worse, my parents were going to keep her at their house. But since she got to the point where she didn't have the strength to get up any more, I was not going to make my poor mother carry a 40-pound elkhound outside several times a day.

So I guess you could say I was going to leave an old dog in declining health behind, but once I saw she was definitely getting weaker with little hope of improvement, I decided not to prolong her life.

Was that selfish of me? She wasn't necessarily dying but I guess you might could say I had her PTS just so I could go on vacation and not have to burden my parents with my ailing pet.

[mrspunkysmom]

I was faced with a similar situation several years back. My mom's Scottie Fala was so sick, she had to carry her out to potty or just change her sheets several times a day. Mom had to go on vacation that was already paid for and had asked me to pet-sit Fala and the cats.

I knew that when I got in and after she had left, I would take the poor dog to be PTS. I fully expected her to not talk to me for years, but the dog was miserable. But I did not tell her this. Anyway, she had already had Fala PTS when I arrived the day before her departure. She had difficulty with the concept of mercy and euthanasia; it's a Catholic thing. Anyway, her excuse was that she couldn't leave that for me and that Fala was her responsibility.

I think that vacations can be refunded or rescheduled for the death of a close family member, esp if you have insurance. Sadly a family pet probably does not count as a family member.

[Kirsten]

I understand that there are many things to consider when the trip is already paid, and cannot be refunded, or if it's something you've been planning for years.

But this is just a visit with some relatives of her sons' dad (her ex). Nothing was booked, nothing paid for; and it's not that she hasn't seen these people for a long time, she already met them at Easter, which is not too long ago. There would have been absolutely no problem to cancel - or postpone - the trip.

[Cataholic]

I was faced with a similar situation several years back. My mom's Scottie Fala was so sick, she had to carry her out to potty or just change her sheets several times a day. Mom had to go on vacation that was already paid for and had asked me to pet-sit Fala and the cats.

I knew that when I got in and after she had left, I would take the poor dog to be PTS. I fully expected her to not talk to me for years, but the dog was miserable. But I did not tell her this.

I am glad to see that you did not have any input here. I could never express in words the absolute fury I would feel if someone ever did something like this to me.

[mrspunkysmom]

I am glad to see that you did not have any input here. I could never express in words the absolute fury I would feel if someone ever did something like this to me.

I can understand your feelings, but you have to trust the person in the room.

I had told her a few weeks before that the dog was miserable and should be euthanized, but she couldn't let go and viewed euthanasia as murder. He could not walk or control his bowels. She hand fed him so he could survive. Not thrive just survive. She had adopted him a few years before and did not realize that his hips were bad or how old he was.

I was surprised that she had the dog PTS. And I was willing to endure her fury and upset at me to spare the dog any more pain. I suspect she knew how I felt and wanted the decision to be hers. I swore after Tillie passed after a few years of misery. I would not let another animal suffer needlessly.

[mrspunkysmom]

I understand that there are many things to consider when the trip is already paid, and cannot be refunded, or if it's something you've been planning for years.

But this is just a visit with some relatives of her sons' dad (her ex). Nothing was booked, nothing paid for; and it's not that she hasn't seen these people for a long time, she already met them at Easter, which is not too long ago. There would have been absolutely no problem to cancel - or postpone - the trip.

I don't think that you mentioned before that it was just a family visit. That definitely could be rescheduled. I plan my trips around the weather and my cats needs and sometimes these intersect, like when it's very hot.

[K9karen]

I actually gave up vacations since I got Logan. I have friends who would take her out and feed her while my brother is a work, but I can't trust their reliability with grandkids etc. Although she's not cronically ill, she still takes meds for her bad hips. Despite John's insistance to board Logan (test her out first for a day), I just can't. She's still fearful of strange situations unless I'm there. John's in LA getting work and I refuse to fly out. He can come back here. Yes, Logan is on the TOP rung of my ladder.

I knew what I was getting into when I got her. Maybe another dog with another personality could handle a long seperation, but not Logan, who had a tough start in life. God forbid Logan was really ill, I'd never leave the house.

[Kirsten]

She's back from her vacation now, but the kitty is still at the vet's, still running a fever. Turned out that he's also dealing with toxoplasmosis, which has obviously affected his brain. I know that toxoplasmosis usually doesn't affect cats at all, but obviously it does when the immune system is down. :( My friend thinks he has reached a point where he should be helped to the bridge, but obviously her vet hasn't given up hope yet (but she only spoke to the vet techs so far). She has an appointment at the vet's tomorrow to discuss further options. Poor little kitty!

[moosmom]

Kirsten,

Toxoplasmosis does affect cats. I have a friend who rescued a feral that was diagnosed with toxoplasmosis and HiV. It caused him to go into seizures. She had him on phenabarbitol. Then she took him to holistic vet. Turns out the toxo was the cause of seisures. They are now in the process of weaning him off the medicine. He's a big lovable lug who went from 20 lbs to 16 lbs. There isn't a feral bone in his body. You'd never know he was formerly feral. Another success story. I'm just glad Betty didn't give up on him, despite everyone, including me (till I learned better) telling her he'd be better off being pts.

Please tell your friend not to give up on him. :( I'm glad the vet hasn't. Oh, and btw, my answer to your question, "OH HELL NO!!"

[Kirsten]

Kirsten,

Toxoplasmosis does affect cats. I have a friend who rescued a feral that was diagnosed with toxoplasmosis and HiV. It caused him to go into seizures. She had him on phenabarbitol. Then she took him to holistic vet. Turns out the toxo was the cause of seisures. They are now in the process of weaning him off the medicine. He's a big lovable lug who went from 20 lbs to 16 lbs. There isn't a feral bone in his body. You'd never know he was formerly feral. Another success story. I'm just glad Betty didn't give up on him, despite everyone, including me (till I learned better) telling her he'd be better off being pts.

Please tell your friend not to give up on him. :( I'm glad the vet hasn't. Oh, and btw, my answer to your question, "OH HELL NO!!"


I will tell her, but I don't think she's in the position to spend much more money on him. Another thing is, she sounded concerned re. the toxoplasmosis and her kids. Last week, one of the boys was ill, and now she thinks he has picked it up. I may be wrong, but to me it sounded today as if she does no longer want him. Maybe the vet would be willing to adopt him - if he can be saved -, according to my friend, he had a big heart for animals and takes the ones that people do not want. I tend to think that this would be the best solution for poor Benny... :(

Glad to hear that the story of Betty's kitty had a happy ending... :love:

[Kirsten]

He has passed away last night, still at the vet's. A couple of days ago, he seemed to do better and the fever went down, but now his liver failed. This morning, my friend had a message from the vet's office on her answering machine, telling her that Benny is gone. Now he's with his sister, who went to bridge a year ago, also from FIV.

R.I.P. little one! :love:

[Medusa]

Sigh. I'm so sorry. At least his suffering is now over and he's free.

[Kirsten]

Sigh. I'm so sorry. At least his suffering is now over and he's free.

Yes, I'm trying to find some comfort in that thought, too. If she had taken him home today (as it was planned), he would have been on his own again the next days, because she'll be going on another trip with her kids on Thursday. Considering that, I'm really glad that he was still at the vet's when it happened.

[phesina]

Rest in peace, dearest little Benny, with your sister again.
:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:

[Catty1]

Benny, you were with caring people who did all they could for you. Play happy at the Bridge, dear one.:love:

[RedHedd]

Yes, I'm trying to find some comfort in that thought, too. If she had taken him home today (as it was planned), he would have been on his own again the next days, because she'll be going on another trip with her kids on Thursday. Considering that, I'm really glad that he was still at the vet's when it happened.

RIP sweet kitty. He's in a better place. Play hard at the Rainbow Bridge.

As for the owner, I have no words. I plan my vacations around my cats - they come first! Others may think that's weird, that I'm a crazy cat lady, but so what. They're my babies and will always come first.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Not a chance! If my boy needed me to stay home I'd stay home.

So sorry that Benny has gone although this sentence did make me a bit cross "but I don't think she's in the position to spend much more money on him" - she managed a vacation though.

However, all water under the bridge now so RIP little puss xx

[carole]

Kirsten i so understand your fury, i would feel the same, i cannot even leave my kitties for a break away, i just hate leaving them, some people just don't feel like we do, they should not have pets in my opinion, but they do, very sad, i hope kitty passes gently over to the rainbow bridge, my thoughts are with kitty and you, as you are the one knowing all this and i know how hard that can be, it is on your mind, and not being able to do anything is so hard and frustrating, HUGS.

[catlady1945]

People are so stupid, I can hardly stand it.