Giving away items no longer needed

[cassiesmom]

I could use the help of people who are good at giving away items they no longer have a reason to keep. I'm going through old clothes going back years and sizes and having a really hard time placing anything in the give-away box. Everything I come to, I say "Oh, I wore that for such-and-such" and put it back. It's so frustrating because I'm making zero progress. There's no logical reason to keep these things, I doubt I'll ever be the size to wear them again and someone could perhaps be using it. Same thing with kitchen stuff. When my grandmother died I brought home a big box of kitchen items and crammed everything into my cabinets. There is no logical reason for one person to have all of this. But I look at it, I say "Oh, that's from Grandma's house" and put it back. I am frustrated and disappointed with myself because I'm getting nowhere with this.

So- those of you who are good at this- how do you make it work? I have to get rid of old things already, so I have room for what I use now.

Thank you so much,
Elyse

[Lilith Cherry]

I am a pack rat too Elyse so I can't give you much help! I wish you luck though:)

[Karen]

I understand, but I also know the remedy. My whole mother's family never threw anything away. I swear sometimes my Dad married in for the sole purpose of keeping everyone's homes from filling to the brim! I have both sides in my brain.

When you see an item you no longer use, instead of saying "that's from Grandma's house," and putting it back, think "That's from Grandma's house. Think how happy she will be to know it is going to someone who needs it, and will put it to good use!"

As for the clothes, get a pad of small notepaper and some straight pins, a pen and a box or bag to put the clothes in. When you see an item with a specific memory attached to it, write it on a piece of the note paper,and pin it to it. Then put it in the box. "This sweater worn in 1978 to Debbie and Gary Smith's wedding, a happy day." That will give whosever job it is to sort through the donations a smile, and you will know you have passed along a memory, as well as helping someone new stay warm with that sweater, or feel pretty in that blouse, etc. etc.

You can do this, I promise!

[kitten645]

I've gotten to be a master declutterer. My mom was/is a hoarder. I had to clean out her house when she was moved to assited living and I swore I'd never let that happen to me or inflict the clean up on someone else. I've found with sentimental things like clothing, if I photograph it I'll keep the memory and be more likely to get rid of it.
You can also put things in a box, tape it shut and put a date on it. If you havent' taken something out of it in three months, off to Goodwill. Don't open the box!
Things are just that...things. They have no feelings or emotions. They are of no benefit to you if they are bogging you down and weighing on your mind.
I also like watching Hoarders on A&E. I usually pause it in the middle to clean out the fridge or toss some junk mail!
I also joined The Clutter Diet forum and it's very helpful.
Baby steps. Good luck!
C

[sana]

I could use the help of people who are good at giving away items they no longer have a reason to keep. I'm going through old clothes going back years and sizes and having a really hard time placing anything in the give-away box. Everything I come to, I say "Oh, I wore that for such-and-such" and put it back. It's so frustrating because I'm making zero progress. There's no logical reason to keep these things, I doubt I'll ever be the size to wear them again and someone could perhaps be using it. Same thing with kitchen stuff. When my grandmother died I brought home a big box of kitchen items and crammed everything into my cabinets. There is no logical reason for one person to have all of this. But I look at it, I say "Oh, that's from Grandma's house" and put it back. I am frustrated and disappointed with myself because I'm getting nowhere with this.

So- those of you who are good at this- how do you make it work? I have to get rid of old things already, so I have room for what I use now.

Thank you so much,
Elyse

I am exactly like this! :D When it came to cleaning my cupboards, I used to have lots and lots of scraps and bits and pieces of things I thought I would use in making some certain thing, and I never made it and my mom would say, throw all this stuff out and I would always say something like, no no, I can use it. But, then I filled them all in cartons and they're still with me. Later I had to throw away some of my stuff... :p Once my sister threw a bag full of some of my stuff, and I didn't want to throw it away so I picked it out of the dustbin and it was back in the cupboards :rolleyes::p
My mom calls it all trash and garbage, I'm so used to it, I call it that too :p

I think Karen's totally correct. Use her way, you'll surely give away most of your stuff. :)

[Grace]

You feel like you're giving away Grandma instead of something that once belonged to her. I've done that, many times.

Karen's advice is spot on -
When you see an item you no longer use, instead of saying "that's from Grandma's house," and putting it back, think "That's from Grandma's house. Think how happy she will be to know it is going to someone who needs it, and will put it to good use!"

And kitten's suggestion about putting things in a sealed box for a period of time has worked for me. If you don't need it, use it, even wonder where it is for 6 months - get rid of it.

[Catty1]

A method that works well for me is I create three piles. Yes, No and Maybe/Undecided.

When everything is in its pile, I go back to the Undecided. It's so easy to go through it that it surprises me! Most, if not all, easily goes into the No pile.

And Karen was spot on too. Year ago I read that a thing that I am hanging on to has a person associated with it. The article went on to say to ask yourself if you are ready to let go of the person. THEN, if you are, the item is much easier to give away.

Still have a couple of plastic bins with a lot of Undecideds in them...waiting for the day...

[Twisterdog]

I am REALLY good at getting rid of stuff! I love to do it! Sadly, I'm just as good at acquiring new stuff, so it's a constant, expensive cycle for me. But, at least I get rid of it, I suppose!

Think about what would have made your Grandma happier ... her stuff sitting dusty and unused in a cluttered drawer ... or being truly valued and used every day by someone who couldn't have afforded that item otherwise.

If it's a sentimental item ... a hat your grandma wore, a dress you wore to a party ... take a couple pictures of the item, or look for pictures of grandma or you wearing it. Label the pictures and put them in your photo album or make a scrap book page. After all, it's really the memory that is important to you, not the item itself. A photo takes up a lot less space, and brings back the same memory.

And when you decide to get rid of something, put it immediately into a bag or box where you can't see it. And when you are done going through things for the day, put all the bags and boxes in the car and take them to the thrift store that day. If they sit around, you will see them and be tempted to go through them again "just to be sure". Only make that decision once!

[Taz_Zoee]

My mother is a pack-rat. I'd clean out my room (the several times I'd move out) and she would go through the garbage bags and say "you could use this". Umm....I haven't used it in years, I don't think I need it.

But I still have a little part of my mom in me. Especially when it comes to clothes. But that's because I live in denial. I go through old clothes that don't fit me and think "I am going to lose weight and be able to wear these again some day". Just the other day I cleaned off my dresser which had become a huge pile of clothes. I looked at the item, if it was worn out (which most of my clothes are) or didn't fit me.....OUT IT WENT! It was difficult and I still have drawers and shelves to go through. I actually threw a bunch of clothes away because they were so worn out. Why was I keeping those??
I have a lot of shirts from Harley Davidson stores that we visit on trips. I don't want to give these away because they symbolize our trip. But I do not fit into them. I am still not sure about getting rid of those items.

I really like the ideas given above. I will have to try some of these myself. :)

[Randi]

I find it difficult to get rid of things and clothes, too, but I AM getting better. I also have been saying...I'll lose a bit of weight soon and then I'll fit it. It rarely happens though.

What I do is put the clothes in three piles, like Catty1 does, and then sit down and think... who do I know that will fit and like this? I find it's always easier to get rid of something, if you know someone who can use it, like friends and family. :)

If you have some items that are in really good condition, or an expensive brand, you could try to sell them. In Denmark we have a site where you can sell anything - from clothes to furniture. In fact, I'm helping a friend do just that at the moment. She and her family are moving to the Middle East after 3 years in Denmark, so there's a lot of stuff to get rid of.

http://www.dba.dk/soeg/?soeg=clothes

This thread actually made me open a box of porcelain - a Royal Copenhagen coffee set, 12 of each, which I inherited from my mother. I must try to sell that.

Good luck! :)

[Asiel]

I'm too good at it for my own good. Every few years I go through my closets and yank out everything that I haven't worn in a year or so. Like my size 1 and 2 Jeans...heck, I'll never need those again, hanging on to them just because I loved them. So out they went with blazers slacks and other stuff.Come this year and I'm hunting size 1 and 2 jeans because I lost weight again. And when I do find some that look right on me I have to wash then so many times before they feel soft enough to wear...( No I don't press them anymore Pom:D)
My cupboards are almost empty though and I don't miss any of it. Had some of my gradmother's stuff and them my mom's when she passed so although it tore me apart I gave it all away.

I just wish I had my clothes back though...and I won't be giving my too big jeans away cause next year I will probably need them again. I keep bouncing like a ball when it comes to weight. Wish I could keep what I put on.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

I'll loan you Chip and Chuck. They break/tear things up that you might think you want to keep so you have no choice but to throw them away. :D:love:

[pomtzu]

I've gotten really good with the clothes/shoes/handbags/accessories give away. When I get ready to put away summer items and get out the winter ones - the summer items I didn't wear or use that season, are gone. And vise-versa - what winter items didn't get worn or used all season when I am putting them away - out they go! I have a few things I've kept for sentimental reasons - but very few.

As far as family items that I have acquired, then I'm not so good. I feel like I'm somehow betraying the person that owned it if I get rid of it. I still have my mother's wallet that she was using at the time of her death about 25 years ago, complete with the pictures that were in it, and her S.S. card! Of course it's of absolutely no use to me, but I won't part with it. The china is in my corner hutch and the silverware is packed away. Have tons of her needlework crafts too. I have a belt buckle and cuff links that were my father's, a couple of his jewelers loupes, and his driver's license - of course all of no real value other than sentimental.

And RB pet items?? - dishes, collars, dog tags, etc - I will never part with any of it.

Fortunately, the items I do choose to keep, don't take up a lot of space - not like the clothes, etc.

[RICHARD]

What I do is promise to replace whatever I throw out.

I am so broke I never get around to buying new stuff.;)

[Twisterdog]

I have a lot of shirts from Harley Davidson stores that we visit on trips. I don't want to give these away because they symbolize our trip. But I do not fit into them. I am still not sure about getting rid of those items.

Why not cut out the square part of the shirt with the logo, sew them all together and make a nice lap blanket or throw? Then you would have the memories, and a smaller, useful item as well.

[cassiesmom]

I have a lot of shirts from Harley Davidson stores that we visit on trips. I don't want to give these away because they symbolize our trip. But I do not fit into them. I am still not sure about getting rid of those items.



I saw this in Real Simple magazine http://www.campusquilt.com/
My cousin just received one of these as a wedding shower gift - she had been involved in sports both in high school and college.

Thank you so much, everyone. You've given me resolve to keep going. I really like the ideas about 1) take a picture of the item; 2) put it in a box, close the lid, date it, don't look at again and give it away. That would prevent a lot of second thoughts.

[Lizzie]

I'm like Asiel, too good at giving away things I'm not using and don't think I will use again. I don't regret giving away clothes that are too small for me now because at my age I'm never going to be a size 2 again, but kitchen items I greatly regret giving away. A few weeks ago I hunted for my potato masher for ages because I was making lentil shepherds pie. Then I remembered putting it in a box for Goodwill years ago because I hate mashed potatoes.

I have a large house all to myself, and my ten foster cats, and have masses of empty storage space but I can't resist throwing out things I believe I don't need. My urge to toss is as bad as others' need to hoard. Whoever clears out my home after I've kicked the bucket will be done in half a day.

[K9karen]

My brother has OCD and is a hoarder. Wherever there is a clean open space, he'll plop down his stuff and never touch it again. I've tossed so much or threw it in his room where it belongs. Looking back, I realize my mom was a clean, organized hoarder. After she passed, I gave away most of her stuff except for some clothes which fit me. I still have basement and garage to deal with. I used to feel attachment, but it's waning. It's material.

I'm also clearing out my 97 y.o uncle's house bit by bit. My aunt (mom's sis) was a horrendous hoarder. She bought clothes and never wore them. Wrong size, but it was cheap so she had to have it. I donated 25 storage boxes of shoes and over 25 boxes of clothes to charity. She had boxes of vitamins she ordered on line.
My uncle (in better health than me) wants his house spotless.

My dining room is my place I assigned to pack my give-a-ways. I was going to do ebay, but decided on Craig's list. My mom has 2 full sets of china that I never remember using. I can't even start to describe what I found. She worked in a department store, so anything on sale, plus employee discount, came home. I have over 10 lamps in my basement we never used.

I'm a thrower outer. My memories of the person is in my heart, soul and mind 24/7. I'm not a material person. What hasn't be used/worn in 2 years is OUT. I've found I never needed to replace it.

I'm mind boggled working on 2 houses! Phew!!!!

[mrspunkysmom]

I have trouble with that myself, although lately my need for cathartic actions has helped. I have also decided to look upon the state of my household as "this I can control" because so much of our lives we can not control.

It's a long process. I've been downsizing for several years. I've almost reached the limit of that with which I wish to depart. Now it is just cleaning up and living within my physical boundaries. I still have difficulties with stockpiling food and supplies from the days when I'd buy in bulk to save money because I didn't have any.

I do keep items that I like or have a personal meaning for me, but I have also become selective about what has meaning for me.

Good luck with it.

BTW, right now the house is a filthy mess. I getting ready to clean to help me through this.

[moosmom]

I went through a box I had stored in my cousin's basement for 4 years. I had a total meltdown. Hundreds of pictures and momentos from years ago. There I sat in the middle of my living room, surrounded by pictures, momentos that no one in my family wants. How can I possibly put a what represented by entire life growing up in a dumpster? I called my brother, cousins - everyone said no. So I plowed through everything, sobbing all the way through. I felt like I was throwing my life away.

So, I called my former SIL in Michigan and I gotta tell ya, she's one wise woman. She told me to sort them into 2 piles. One pile to be tossed in the trash and all the other stuff (and believe me that was only one box, I still have another one to go through) and the other store. She said to type out instructions for my executrix (my BFF Susie) with copies, instructions that all photographs, momentos and deceased cats' ashes be put in the box with my body for cremation. My ashes will be scattered at Bolton Lake and my memories will be with me forever.:(