Just wanted to let you know....

[BarbPond]

Just wanted to let you know that I may not be here very often in the next week or so.

Got a phone call this morning and my brother-in-law passed away this morning. He was 71 yrs old and was healthy up until about a week ago. He was more like a real brother to me over all the many years I have known this wonderful man.

My sister (my only sibling) is not well at all. She is also 71 yrs old. They are not real sure yet what the problem is but part of it is Dementia, severe weight lost and a few other things. My son who is about 40 miles east of me is coming over to get me and take me to see my Sis. She lives about 50 miles north of me. He said he did not want me going alone.

Wayne is still in either Kentucky or Tennessee and on the way home. I have not told him yet as I dont want him upset while driving. I will tell him tonight and hope he forgives me for not telling him right away but I want him to come home safely.

Ok... crying here and cant see to type. Gonna call Laura.

[Freedom]

Oh dear, I am so sorry for you loss. Hugs to you and prayers for all you and your family at this difficult time.

[phesina]

I am so sorry to read of the sudden loss of your beloved brother-in-law. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[momcat]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Please be assured that you and your family are in my prayers. Travel safely.

[cassiesmom]

Barb, I am so sorry for your loss and I'll be praying for you as you travel and make your visit.

Thinking of you,
Elyse

[Catty1]

OH sweetheart - {{{{hugs}}}} many times over! I am glad your son is going with you.

I had a sister who had a chronic illness and the last couple of years she was alive she was present only inside herself...could not communicate in any way.

Hug your sister, tell her anything you want, she will hear you.

More hugs...:love::love::love:

[gini]

I am so sorry for your sudden loss. Please have a safe trip to your sisters with your son. How nice that he is coming to get you.

I will offer special prayers for you and your family to give you peace at this sad time.

[Randi]

Barb, I'm so sorry for your loss and for your BIL's wife. It must be so hard on both you and her. :(

I think you're doing the right thing not telling Wayne until he gets there.

Glad your son is going with you - safe travel!

[katladyd]

My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family! I have a sister-in-law I love like a sister, so I can imagine the pain you are feeling. Take care of yourself, okay?:love:

[Laura's Babies]

OH BARB! I am sorry I wasn't here for you today... I've been at the hospital with my kids all day... their Dad had open heart surgery so I went along to be with my kids... Just keep calling and you will eventually catch me and I will try calling you..

[columbine]

{hug!} May you heal fully and soon.

Love, Columbine

[Lilith Cherry]

I am so sorry for your loss. Travel safely with your son.

[BarbPond]

Well I returned several hours ago. But had to tend to the kitties and make me some coffee first, and do a few other things before coming here. :)

First let me say I am handling Franks death fairly well. He has been a big part of my life since I was in the 9th grade and will be missed very much. I didnt have a daddy around but even though Frank was younger back then he was still kind of a daddy figure to me. He is the one who taught me how to drive a car, he talked to me about boys and so forth, and always gave me support and a shoulder to cry on when I was younger.

He was always there for me! He supported me with his wisdom through many rought times. When Wayne came down here before we were married for a visit Frank welcomed him with open and sincere arms to the family. He and Wayne got along really well and he truly like Wayne from the start. You could tell. It meant so very much to Wayne to be recieved that way.

He was the type of guy that would go out of his way to help make someone else happy. I have never heard anyone say anything about Frank that was not good. He was just a very gentle and caring man. He will be missed by lots of people!

Frank was a very well educated person. He had a Masters degree in Socialogy and spent his working years helping people who were addicted to drugs or achol. He retired several years ago.

I told Wayne about it tonight after he was parked for the night! Frank was the only real male friend Wayne had down here. But said he was glad I had waited until he was off the road as he had traveled all day through ice, sleet and light snow. Anyhow Wayne will be home sometime tomorrow. He, of course will not take another load out until after the funural.

Now about my Sister. Due to my health and hers we had not seen each other in about year even though she is not that far away. She is NOT doing good at all. I knew that but was totally shocked and unprepared for seeing what bad shape she was in. She has some sort of Dementia and has lost so much weight that she can hardly sit even on a soft chair due to it hurting her behind and hips so much. She is 5'3" and now weights maybe 89 lbs. Frank was doing everything in the house for her (with the help of their 3 daughters). She can not even get up out of a chair or the bed without help. She cant dress herself or bathe or anything. She cant even comb her hair or dont remember to do so. Now she was always the type that would not even go to the local store without cleaning up and fixing her hair. Such a change, it really shocked me!

There is no way at all she could live by herself. So her daughters are going to have to figure out something. One of her daughters, who has hubby but no kids, may end up moving in with her at least for a little while. But she will probably have to go to a nursing home. At this point the fact that Frank is no longer with her has not registered. Oh she knows he passed away but that is about it. She tried to talk a bit about funural arrangements but with no signs of sorrow. It was like she was talking about just a casual event. Maybe in a way that is a blessing.

Tomorrow I will be gone most of the day. I have to go clean her house as the daughters have so much else to tend to. Frank was a wonderful guy but he was not very a good housekeeper. And so many people will show up there after the funural so house HAS to be cleaned up. I was elected to do that. (they know I am a neat freak)

Ok I have rambled on enough for now. It does help to "talk" about though.

Thanks to everyone who sent their condolences and please excuse typo's and miss spelled words. Below is a photo of Frank and my sister Gloria.


http://kittyfoot.freeservers.com/fp-sisfrank2.jpg

Rest In Peace Frank

[BarbPond]

That is ok Laura! You needed to be with your kids. :love:

So how is their daddy doing?

As I said in my above post... I will be going back tomorrow to clean up Sis' house.

Not sure what time I will leave here as I have to go to the drug store and get my stress meds refilled. We dont know yet exactly what the funural arrangements will be. They have to do an atopsy (sp ?) to determine exactly what caused his death.

He had had surgery the day before to get a very small cancerous spot taken off one of his lower lungs. After surgery the doc told them he was pretty sure he got it all and that Frank should be ok. Well during the night he got worse. He had heart problems but the heart doc said he was in good enough shape to have the surgery. He also had an anurism on the Aorta that runs through the stomach. They had very recently checked that but found out it had not gotten any bigger. Then all of a sudden his tummy swelled up really big. That in turn pushed the lungs upwards and interfered with his breathing. They had to put a breathing tube down his throat. He only lived a few hours after that. I am thinking it was the anurism that maybe caused his death. We should know something tomorrow.

No matter what actually caused him to pass away I know in my heart he has just gone to heaven and if I am lucky enough to go there also then I will see him again!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear this.:( My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Medusa]

I'm sorry for your loss, Barb. It's good, though, that your son is w/you. Keep the faythe. :love:

[catmandu]

Your Brother In Law was a fine man , and he will be missed.:love:
I know that Frank will be met by many Animal Angels and tonight in Paradise he will be honored as will all Good People:love:
We all send our condolences from the Found Cat Hotel for your loss:love:

[BarbPond]

Thanks to everyone for their nice word, condolences and prayers!

I am just too tired and brain dead to answer everyones post at this time.

Hugs to all, :love:

[Laura's Babies]

Give my sympathies to his family and may he Rest In Peace! Don't overdo and get yourself down trying to help out to much.

[Karen]

You'll all be in our prayers.

[BarbPond]

Thank you Karen!

Laura... What you mean dont overdo... :) Soon as I walked in the door this morning I began doing! And it was steady all day long. Wayne and I clean up my sisters house as much as possible with all the people there. He is a big help with the cleaning, and did a great job scrubbing the bath rooms for us! I was mostly on kitchen duty all day. One good thing is I only smoked about 3 cigs all day! Didnt have time for any more. ;) There were 10 adults and 5 kids there. Talk about noise!!! Oh and the phone ringing non stop! The beautician came over and did Sis's hair. People were stopping by and bringing food and so forth. Oh yeah and one small yapping dog!

After coming by your house earlier tonight to get my clothes you had tried on I had to go home and wash those clothes and Wayne's dress clothes. Oh rats just remembered I havent cleaned his dress shoes!!! Anyhow I had to wash all the serving dishes I was supposed to bring and pack them to so they wouldnt break. Also of course we had to pet all the kitties, feed them and do litter pans! Right now it is almost 1am and I still have a load of clothes to fold. Oh my goodness it sure feels good to sit here but the dryer buzzed so guess I will have to go do that soon.

Btw... Sis's house is 45 miles from my house!

Our schedule for tomorrow: get up about 6am and try to revive with a cup of coffee and feed cat and etc. Wayne has to go fill the car with gas and take it to the car wash. When that is done we have to load up the car with severing dishes and so forth. Also have to bring our clothes so we can change for the wake. We have to go clean my niece's house soon as we get up there, as that is where everyone will go after the funeral Saturday. After that we have to go back to Sis's house and sit with her so her grandaughter can get a nap. She has been spending nights there with her and getting very little sleep and is about to drop. Then we will get Sis and ourselves dressed so that we can go to the wake. The wake is from 4 to 9 pm.

Sunday we have to be at the funeral home for 9am. And when the services and the burial are done we have to hurry to my nieces huge house and starting puting out all the food! And then mass confusion will decend on the place as people start arriving. We are expecting about 30 -40 people to come by. But we will have mountians of food. Gumbo, french bread, salads, veggies trays, fruit trays, sandwiches, sweets, chips & dips, and an assortment of other snacks. And me and another lady will be on "kitchen" duty! Wayne has garbage duty! LOL Hopefully we will get back home at a human hour and fall in the bed. Wayne will probably have to go back on the road on Sunday. I plan to sleep all next week!!!! :D

[Catty1]

You and Wayne are truly, truly a Godsend to Sis and everyone there! All Sis has to do is show up and be at the wake and her home and your niece's home. I hope you and Wayne get rest enough to have a safe trip home; your work for your sis is so unseen, but makes everything so so much easier for her and those who love her.

Bless you!

[kaycountrygal]

I am sorry for your loss. I just read what all you have been doing and I am tired just from reading it. I guess it wouldnt do any good to say "dont overdo" as you are doing what you think you have to do. Take care of yourself. Kay in NC Fri, Feb 11 11:52am

[phesina]

God bless you and Wayne, Barb. What a good sister and brother-in-law you both are! Frank must be smiling in heaven looking down at you!

Condolences to you all.

[BarbPond]

Thanks to everyone! Too tired to post tonight. Worked all day today and back is killing me. Wayne is slap wore out also. Sis did well at the funeral home. I really am not sure she knows what is happening. Having a cup of good coffee but will be sound asleep soon. Have to get up early in the morning.

[BarbPond]

Just wanted to say thank you all again for your prayers and warm thoughts. So sorry that I didnt get to answer everyone personally but I want all of you to know how much we appreciate your kind posts! :love:

I did not have to do "KP" at the house after the burial. Some of my niece's female inlaws did the whole job! And it was quite a job too! We estimated about 75 to 100 people showed up. The large hall at the funeral home was packed and most of them came over after the burial. Thank goodness my niece has such a large home, except when cleaning it! (her hubby is a builder and built it for entertaining) And the yard is great also, with beautiful natural looking gathering/seating areas. The day was beautiful with temps about 70 degrees. Wayne and I just relaxed by the pool. And did lots of eating also. :)

But at some point both Wayne and I caught a cold. I have a very sore throat and stopped up head and Wayne says he is constantly sneezing. Sigh! The days prior to the burial were cold, rainy and ucky! Anyhow Wayne left at 4am this morning to head up to the Chicago area. I have spent most of yesterday and today sleeping and tending to the kitty babies. It may be a few days before I am back to posting here. Still a bit brain dead. :)

Hugs to everyone! :love: