Too Young to Marry?

[Karen]

I recently stumbled across this article, called "14 Celebrity Baby Brides" prompted by Hillary's Duff's recent wedding I guess. But she's 22. I don't consider that being a "baby" or too young to get married, and some of the other celebs were even 25!

The article. (http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-14-celebrity-baby-brides-who-married-super-young/)

How old do you think is "too young" to get married?

I know it is different for everyone individually, and some people will never be ready for marriage, no matter the age, but do you think 22 or 25 is too young?

And just to be open about this, we got married the summer we turned 22. I certainly felt plenty old enough then, and still think I made a good choice, obviously!

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Yeah, I thought the article was a little silly. Don't most people get married in their early/mid twenties? According to this wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage) blurb, the average age for women is 25, and for men 26 in the US.

I don't know what age is too young, I think it really depends on the person.

[Sirrahsim]

When my husband and I got married I was only 18. Now 7.5 years later we are still madly in love and wouldn't change a thing. I do, however, think that we were very much the exception to the rule! It is a very dependent on the individual and I think that many people are just not ready to take the plunge so young.

[moosmom]

I think a person should wait till their at least 30 to marry. I married at the age of 20 and, speaking from experience, I learned alot as I got older. The 20's is the time to experience life!!! I never got that opportunity, because in my day, a girl graduated high school, got married and had kids. I didn't experience "life" until after I was divorced. Of course, that was about the time my life went into the toilet. But sometimes ya gotta hit rock bottom to finally realized the grass isn't really greener on the other side.

[pomtzu]

In my opinion, there is no magic number for a marrying age - it depends on the person.

I was married in the early 60's - right out of high school - but that was quite common back then. I was 18 and my now ex, was 23. We were together for about 35 years before we separated, and it was only 3 years ago that we decided to divorce. Would I do it the same way again?? - no. There are things that I would want to do on my own before marriage, and not with a husband, after marriage. Was my life miserable because of this?? Nope - not by a long shot. I had my kids when I was young, and grew up with them, and had fun and was able to keep up with and relate to the younger set. I for one, can't imagine myself starting a family at 40+ like so many women do today. I wouldn't have the patience or the energy. :eek:

[Miss Z]

I guess this article is prompted by the trend in women marrying and having children later on in life than previous generations.

I can't see myself getting married until my late twenties at the earliest. I know you can never accurately plan life :p, but I want to live my life and do my own thing for a while before I make commitments. I think that's a view shared by a lot of women my age.

What I think is more the problem is people rushing into marriage rather than just tying the knot early. You hear so much about people of a variety of ages being together for a matter of weeks before the question is popped, and I always wonder how one can make a decision concerning what should entail, after all, the rest of their life, in such a short space of time.

Some people will make it work and some will encounter problems whatever path they take! The world would be boring if we all made the same decisions.

[lvpets2002]

:) Well I married my first time at age 18 right out of highschool & for the wrong reasons.. It lasted maybe 2 yrs.. I married the second time at age 25 & again for the wrong reasons & that lasted 17 yrs.. So who is to say who is too young or too old to marry.. I do think once your into your early 20s that should be old enough.. Now I do not aggree with teenage marriages.. However I have seen those last for many of years too..

[Cataholic]

LOL, I am sure some think I have no business replying to this. That's okay, at least they are thinking.

I think people should wait as long an they can, certainly till after thrus education is finished, and a career path found or started. I think living on your own, responsible for yourself exclusively is a good idea.

I see no reason, personally, to get married.

As for Poms crack about us oldies having kids, I see far more benefit to having a child "late" in life than early. Heck, by the time I lose my ability to drive safely, I will have my own chauffeur!

[Taz_Zoee]

I do not think age matters. I know two couple who married young and they are still happily together after 22 and 19 years together.
The couple that has been together for 22 years got married when they were both 20 years old.
The couple that will celebrate their 19th anniversary in November were married when she was 19 and he was 22.

My grandma married my grandpa when she was just 16. She lied about her age and apparently back in 1941 you did not have to prove your age. They were married until he died in 1996.

My boyfriend got married when he was 30 and it lasted less than 2 years. So age has nothing to do with it, IMO.

I am 37, have never been married and honestly do not ever see myself getting married. Oh well, I'm happy! :D

ETA: I just looked at the article and it looks like the youngest person was 21 (I didn't look through all of them, too slow to load). Didn't Macaulay Culkin get married when he was like 17 or 18? That was a HUGE deal too when that happened back in 1998.

[lvpets2002]

:) I will admitt I am done with the Marriage thing.. Two down the road was enough for me.. I am very content with taking care of myself & my babies.. My babies & other things keep me busy enough.. Pluss there is Lots More Crazy People Out There In The World that I do not have to meet & know..

[k9krazee]

I am a bit suprised that there are a lot of people that I graduated high school with that are married already, and I'm (almost) 22.

What bothers me is when people are rushing in to marriage because they like the idea of it (or that's my assumption of why they're rushing). If you are together, and plan on staying together, why do you need to rush into getting married? My 18 year old cousin just got married to a girl he knew for less than 6 months. And this was after the his ex broke up with him after he proposed. How can you want to marry two different people in the course of 6 months? Marriage is a huge decision! I have two 15 year old cousins that are "engaged" and they've each been dating their boyfriends for less than 4 months. Rich's 19 year old cousin got married last year and is due for her first baby soon.

It's crazy. People constantly ask Rich and I when we'll get married, but I feel like 22 is too young. I would at least like us both to finish school (he's done, I have one more year) and get a job in our field. Plus, I have NO idea how these young'ins afford a wedding (if they have one). I'm thinking about all of my student loans and when I start paying them off it's going to be $300 a month...I have no idea how we would be able to EACH pay $300/month on the loans, pay rent (or down payment + mortgage), bills, cars, etc and afford a wedding.

I think that's why the divorce rate is so high. There are stories of people marrying young and staying together forever, but I don't think that that's the norm. I think too many people are rushing in to it for wrong reasons. I had another cousin get married at 18 so they could get on welfare. Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

But hey, it's not my life ;) To each their own.

[k9krazee]

My sister is 17 and has been dating this boy for a year. He wants to get married as soon as she finished high school (so 1 more year), and his MOM is even telling her how happy she'd be if she was her daughter-in-law. I don't think that parent's should encourage their 17-18 year old children to get married. I keep encouraging her to at least finish college first!

[RICHARD]

"We'll get married when you buy us the ring and pay for the wedding, no wait,
We'll pass on the wedding, Pay our loans for a year to get a head start on life......"


Look, Don't go crazy and think you need to married. Check out those people that spend 10 gajillion dollars on a wedding? I look at the prices and convert them into "material" things.

A 50,000 dollar wedding?


I could live off that for five years. EASY.

You are being smart by THINKING about marriage.

On second thought?


Don't listen to anyone and run your own life. It's way too short to
wake up one day and say, "Why did I ever listen to THAT crap!":eek:;):D


Rock on!;)

[pomtzu]

As for Poms crack about us oldies having kids, I see far more benefit to having a child "late" in life than early. Heck, by the time I lose my ability to drive safely, I will have my own chauffeur!

LOL. But I'll have my kid or grandkids to choose from in that department.

A lot of interesting posts in this thread too. Even tho I married young, I didn't rush into it a matter of a few months, and I didn't "have" to get married, in spite of what a few of the nosy aunts thought. :eek: I was married over 2 years when son #1 came along. That sure put an end to their gossip!! :p

[Roxyluvsme13]

Honestly, I think it all depends on the person. I know a girl from my high school who got married even before we graduated, which I found really bizarre. Then I also know a bunch of people who are "engaged" or whatever and I think most of them are jumping into it way too soon.

Personally, I don't want to get married till I'm at least mid-twenties or later. Maybe even after I'm out of Vet School or what not.

I don't think ages mentioned in the article are too young per say, but I really think people should think it through a lot harder before they jump the gun and get married.

[wombat2u2004]

I think everyone is different, and know when they wish to get married.
My mother was married at 16, and 9 months later I popped out. Mum and Dad were married for 51 years (Dad passed away in 2000), and life was always good to them, and their marriage was terrific. Mum can now sit back and enjoy her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Me, I was married when I was 24, again at 43, and again at 59.
A sucker for punishment ???? :p

[kitten645]

I'm sort of with Cataholic...I dont' think marriage makes sense unless there are kids involved. I know there are a lucky few that find "the one" and are together forever. I've always had long term relationships...10+ years. But I've always found that I grow and change and people grow and change and odds of us growing in the same direction aren't likely.
Regarding "celebrity" marriages, I think they are doomed no matter the age:rolleyes:

[Twisterdog]

There is no magic number.

My best friend in high school got married at 18. 24 years, 3 kids and 3 grandkids later they are still very happily married.

Was I mature enough at 18 to get married? No WAY! And I had NO desire to get married. I got married at 38, and that was just right for me.

My son is 19 and there is NO WAY he is even remotely close to being mature enough to get married. It will be years before he will ready. But, a couple of his friends in our little town got married at 18, and are doing great, four years and two kids later.

[RICHARD]

I think everyone is different, and know when they wish to get married.
My mother was married at 16, and 9 months later I popped out.

Why and where was she hiding you?:confused:;)

[sana]

My mom got married ta the age of 21. I want to get married at the age of 19 or 18 :D

[krazyaboutkatz]

Well I've never been married and most likely will never be and I've learned to just accept it and be happy with my family of cats instead. As for having children, if I did have them it would of had to be in my 20's so I would have enough energy to keep up with them. I can't imagine having children in my 40's. My cats keep me on my toes as it is.:)

My mom didn't get married until she was 23 and she said that this was considered fairly old back then. My youngest brother got married first and I think he was 27 but it only lasted a few years. He got married a second time at 30 something and he's still married and now has 2 children. My other brother got married at 30 and he's still married with 3 children. For a while there, I think my parents were wondering if any one would ever get married and if they'd ever become grandparents.

I've seen many families where it seems like if the parents married young and had children at a young age, then their children also marry young and have children at a young age. I personally think that 23 and older is a good age to marry because then if you went to college you've already most likely graduated and hopefully started working.

[RICHARD]

I've always had long term relationships...10+ years.

Why?

When you can have a bunch on one day?

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=61139&highlight=affairs

[carole]

I have to agree with there is no magical age or right age to marry, for each and everyone it is different, when my niece married she was only 18 her husband to be 19, they have been together since 14 and 15 ,now happily married for over seven years and two babies as well, i was worried they were far too young, but they certainly seem very happy together.

My sister was married at 18 and also my mother, a bit of a pattern here,except me i married first time at 22 then at 34.

If i were to choose an age it would be probably around 25 or 26, because you have had time to do a few things in life, travel etc, meet various people, and still young enough to start a family, although that does not seem to be the case nowadays, as women are choosing to have their children later in life.

I had a child earlier in life and one later in life, and i speak here personally for me it was better having them earlier in life, only because of my ill health really, otherwise it made no difference.

I just cannot imagine ending up marrying the men i knew when i was 16 or 18, but then i still made a mistake at 22, so you see age does not necessarily help you to make the right choice,but for me when i was younger i simply had no interest in marriage or children.

[Bonny]

You can get married at any age. It depends on who you pick for a mate & if you can keep it compatible. No one is perfect & it takes lots & lots of work to hold it all together. It is a work in progress 42 years of it for me & what his name. :D

[wombat2u2004]

You can get married at any age. It depends on who you pick for a mate & if you can keep it compatible. No one is perfect & it takes lots & lots of work to hold it all together. It is a work in progress 42 years of it for me & what his name. :D

Agreed. But I think it's very important for a man to choose a woman with small feet, so that she can stand closer to the kitchen sink :D

[sana]

I think a man's age to get married should be around 26 or 27. and a girl, I'd say 18 - 23. My mom got married at 21 and so did my sis. My bro might get married in December. So he'll be 26-7. That's what I say.

[Asiel]

I really can't say there's a magic number to get married. It all depends on the relationship and on the people involved. Some 20 yr olds are more mature than a 30 yr old sometimes so who's to say when one should marry. I really think today's circumstances are different than yrs ago. Today girls want to go to college and have a career other than being a mom and raising kids. And the opportunities today are endless for girls. They can become anything they want, yrs ago you heard of girls wanting to become nurses, today they want to become doctors.
But there are still girls who dream of getting married and having children, to them it means everything, nothing wrong with that either.

[kitten645]

"Why?

When you can have a bunch on one day?"

Oh Richard! Ten second AFFAIRS are among my favorite sports. I said RELATIONSHIPS! :p

Claudia

[dab_20]

I think it depends on the person, and I honestly don't care what others do. For myself, I would like to wait until I am done with school. I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, and we both feel there is no rush for marriage! I am only 18, and we both have 4+ years of school ahead of us. I want to live life, and truly feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with the person that I am with. There is no age for when I want to get married. I would prefer to be out of college, financially sound, and with a great guy! No matter what age that is.

I do honestly think 18 to 21 is pretty young for most people. The majority of young people that age act on impulse and don't always think things through clearly... I know I still do! I do think I am mature for my age, but certainly not enough to get married. There is no reason to rush if you are with that one person. You've got the rest of your lives!

[Bonny]

Agreed. But I think it's very important for a man to choose a woman with small feet, so that she can stand closer to the kitchen sink :D

Women with little feet use paper plates, plastic spoons, fork,knifes & paper cups so there are never any dishes. They are also very smart these women with little feet they also trick their husbands into taking them out to eat. :D

[wombat2u2004]

Women with little feet use paper plates, plastic spoons, fork,knifes & paper cups so there are never any dishes. They are also very smart these women with little feet they also trick their husbands into taking them out to eat. :D

That's true. But at least if they stand in front of the sink, they'll LOOK like they're doing something :p

[wombat2u2004]

I really can't say there's a magic number to get married. It all depends on the relationship and on the people involved. Some 20 yr olds are more mature than a 30 yr old sometimes so who's to say when one should marry. I really think today's circumstances are different than yrs ago. Today girls want to go to college and have a career other than being a mom and raising kids. And the opportunities today are endless for girls. They can become anything they want, yrs ago you heard of girls wanting to become nurses, today they want to become doctors.
But there are still girls who dream of getting married and having children, to them it means everything, nothing wrong with that either.

True. But it's a mixed bag out there. My No.2 daughter got married recently right smack bang in the middle of doing a doctorate. They are now both happily married to each other, share the duties, and both work and study hard. It's what they wanted. In fact, they are both very committed Christians, and both believed in remaining virgins until the wedding night.
He studies Theology, and she is doing her doctorate in Medical Science.

And where did she inherit her ideal of remaining a virgin ??? Not from dad :D

[Lilith Cherry]

Hey Wombat!

"I think it's very important for a man to choose a woman with small feet, so that she can stand closer to the kitchen sink"

Not if you keep her barefoot and pregnant :p:p!

[wombat2u2004]

Hey Wombat!

"I think it's very important for a man to choose a woman with small feet, so that she can stand closer to the kitchen sink"

Not if you keep her barefoot and pregnant :p:p!

Now ya startin to think like an Aussie :D

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

I guess I don't see anything wrong with this- I think the real problem is that people have to make these kinds of choices because they can't get health care otherwise.

I see no real reason to get married personally except for the fact that there are financial benefits (insurance, taxes, etc). My husband and I decided to get married when we did so I could be on his health insurance. I had no desire to have a wedding be a big production (we got married in the municipal building) and it wasn't really a romantic thing for me, just a practical decision. We were both committed to the relationship already (and already lived together) and getting married made not a whit of difference in that regard. It also wasn't a religious thing since we are both atheist/agnostic...everyone has their own reasons for marriage and I don't really think they matter.

[wombat2u2004]

Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

Marriages of convenience are quite commonplace nowadays. It's easier to get the house on the hill complete with china ducks on the wall, than it is being single.

[Marigold2]

I think 30 is a good age.
After college or similar school.
After living alone for at least a year or two to learn how to take care of oneself.
After one has had some travel and culture to understand the world around us better.
After some charity work to give back.
Aroundr 30 so one has some knowlege of one's own soul, heart, intererts, beliefs, dreams, ambitions.
The 20's are such a time of great change. Who you are at 21 is not who you are at 27.
After one has time to set aside some money to start that new life with someone special. Going into a marriage broke nowadays is very difficult to say the least.

Times have changed, years ago women went to college to get their degree in MRS. now women get their degree in something for themselves.

No longer is it enough for a women to be a mom and wife. We can rule a college, a country, a hospital a foutune 55 company.

It now takes two people to support most families, women now realize they have power to lead the world and staying at home and doing diapers is not enough to satisfy their minds or their hearts.

Having a child is a great thing but so is working and be all that you can be. Using your mind, talent and hard work to get ahead and change the world if that is what you want.

Doens't mean you can't have a child, look at Hilary Clinton, Barbara Walters, Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Pat Benetar and your own Dr or lawyer, electrician, nurse, clergy, soldier. They have it all.
As do millions of women. To just have a child and not experince life and use ones gray brain cells to the fullest I feel is sad.

Some women choose not to marry at all. And then there is the gay/lesbian population as well.
They should be able to live their lives as they see fit without any judgement or punishment.
If they want to adopt I think it is a beautiful thing.
I believe they will make better parents then some uneducated 15 year old inner city girl.
In fact I think their parenting skills are every bit as good as a regular family is of a man and a women, often better.
I fail to understand how any educated person can have a problem with a gay/lesbian adopting at all.

[kokopup]

I think that most men should wait until at least 30 before even thinking about getting married. I know I was not mature enough to be married until that age. Most of the problems that I encountered in marriage were because I felt like I missed out on youth. I ended up being married to my first wife for 23 years and recently celebrated 28 happy years with my second. I married my first wife when I was 18 and she was 15. Yes I know that was way to young to be getting married. I honestly believe for me I was at the right age for marrying when I got married the second time. I know that all of the petty things that made my first marriage rocky have never surfaced with my second wife. The old saying youth is wasted on the young was definitely true in my case. Get an education and see a little of the world before making that big step. Later is better, believe me.

[Amberly]

I never thought that everyone in this world has their own Dating sites. Personally, I now communicate and registered on the site meetville.com. I created a questionnaire to find a good man for life and I hope that soon I will meet my happiness and have children.

[Werona]

Youth does not play a decisive role, the main thing is that a person is mentally ready for marriage. This is the most important thing for a successful family. I got married at 23 and I think it's normal.