UPDATE In Dog Memorial - I am back - with very sad news...

[Reachoutrescue]

Hello all.

First, allow me to apologize for this very long thread....I just need to get this all out.

It has been a while since I have been on Pet Talk. Things have been a bit hectic for the last several months. We had no home internet for almost 6 months, but now have gone with Clear and really like it - good service, cheap bill! We have had lots of sick dogs come into the rescue, but we are getting by. And we are planning our 2nd Annual BowWow BBQ for 9/11/10 - busy, busy, busy! I hope you are all well.

SO, the sad news....

Many of you know our dog Scruff. He is my third child. And he is sick. Very sick.

Scruff, is battling an unknown illness. He has been in and out of vets since June 1, 2010 for lethargy, loss of appetite, weight loss, and staggering. The vets sent him home telling me to give him Chicken and rice, Doxycyline, and Flagyl.....he lost 10lbs in 6 wks, so we took him back in on 7/16. The vets took blood - finally! They then recommended us going to The Veterinary Specialty Clinic for more in depth testing. On 7/19 Scruff had an xray and and ultrasound to reveal that Scruff has a growth on his spleen. The vets feel its benign and wants to re-ultrasound him in 8 wks to be sure its not growing. If it is he will need surgery. He is also very anemic. His red blood cell count was at 19 on Friday, when it should be between 35-50. The vets feel it is either a mediated anemia disease or a tick born illness. I use frontline plus on him monthly, but the vet said all it takes is one bite, even if the tick dies at contact, to infect a dog. More blood was taken on 7/21. On the 16th, Scruff was down from 78lbs to 66lbs, today he was at 69lbs...so that is an upside, and his blood count was up to 28.

We went to the vet on 7/29/10 and had a fecal and more blood drawn. The vet wanted to be sure there were no parasites we were missing in his stool - but it came back negative. At the last vet visit Scruff went up to 69.8 pounds from being down to 66.3. (His normal weight is a solid 75). Today he weighed in at 67.9, which means he is losing again - that in just a week's time. His RBC was also down to 18. His platelets were low as were some of his other readings....I am sorry, but I cannot remember every detail.

The vet and I talked for a bit today and discussed possibilities and options. He is concerned that the growth on his spleen may be Lymphoma. There is no way to tell until we go in for another ultrasound in 6 weeks. If the growth is decreasing then we are in good standing, but if it is growing, we have to discuss removal of the spleen. The vet discussed the possibility of it being Autoimmune Hemolytic anemia - but they are confused because in normal cases of AIHA, once the dog shows signs of illness, they do not bounce back on their own. Scruff is fine one week then down another. If it is AIHA, steroids will help fix this. If it is cancer, our options are not so good, and we will discuss them. As we do not want our boy to be in pain or suffer any more.

Scruff was put on Steroids, Prednisome twice a day. We are hoping this will increase his Red Blood Cell Count and help him feel better. I have researched the drug a lot that evening and prepared myself very well. He has been doing very well on the sterioid. Typical side effects such as vomiting, diarrhea, excessive thirst & hunger but not too bad - yet anyway.

Scruff went back in the vet on Monday, 8/9, for more blood tests. Test came back very good....not great, but better. His RBC is up to 27 and his platelets went up as well. But I am very concerned because he is having another bad couple of days. Appetite is low, diarrhea (which could very well be the steroids), he is staggering a bit, and now his stomach is bloated. The vet said to give it a few days and bring him back in on Monday for more tests and to check his stomach.

Scruff is a Great Dane/Pointer mix who will be 6 yrs old on August 25th. He is my oldest son, Austin's best friend....as well as our deaf dog, Piglet's. Piglet knows something is wrong as he is acting out and won't leave Scruff's side for more then a short time. Scruff is my son and I love him. I know the power of prayer can do a lot - so I am asking you all to PLEASE pray for my boy. I know I have been away for some time, and I apologize. I am not asking for much - just for you to mention him in your prayers and/or in your church. Ask our God to please spare our boy and let him stay with Austin and Piglet...we love him so much.

Our Boy Scruff....
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/Scruffers7.jpg
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/OurScruff12.jpg
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/Scruffers11.jpg

Scruff Now....
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/RESCUE/Medical%20Emergancies/7-16-101.jpg
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/RESCUE/Medical%20Emergancies/7-16-10.jpg
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/RESCUE/Medical%20Emergancies/7-20-101.jpg

[Karen]

Prayers on the way for Scruff.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you Karen.

[chocolatepuppy]

I'm so sorry Tracy to hear that Scruff is doing so badly.:( Many prayers headed his way.

[Queen of Poop]

Prayers and good thoughts for your family and Scruff. :love:

[robinh]

Will be saying our prayers here for Scruff.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Add mine too :love:

[sana]

Awww... such a sweet little Scruff. Please God let him stay on Earth for a very long time. Please God give him a long happy life. Ameen!

[luvofallhorses]

Oh no. :( Scruff will be in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))

[Freedom]

Dear Scruff: I am praying for you to feel better, and for the white coats to figure this out. Let the meds help, so you make a full recovery. You are a very dear boy, and loved so much.

- from us in RI

[Pinot's Mom]

Prayers from Ellicott City for the poor boy to feel better.:love:

[Husky_mom]

sending Scruff healing vibes from us...

hang in there buddy!!

[Lilith Cherry]

Loving thoughts for Scruff and all your family.:love:

[pomtzu]

I'm so sorry to read that Scruff is not well. Here's hoping that things will turn around for him in no time.

All of this sounds very familiar to me, since I went thru a lot of the same with my Pom Myndi this past June and July - loss of appetite, lethargy, staggering and weight loss. Did your vet check for blood in the stool sample? With Myndi, it was a GI bleed from somewhere. Her RBC was at a very critical 13 and that was causing the staggering and lethargy, since not enough oxygen was getting to her brain, and she actually passed out once and I thought at that point that I had lost her. She also lost 2lbs in a very short time, and being just a little Pom, then that's a huge amount. Her vet didn't want her on Pred because of her age (almost 15), but she was on high potency vitamins, Flagly and Sucralfate. She was extremely sick and the prognosis did not look good. However, her appetite picked back up and she was eating like a horse, and in 2 weeks when she went back to the vet for a checkup, she had put 2 pounds back on and her RBC was up to 37. Energy level was back, no more staggering or wobbling, and appetite continued to be great. Then when we thought all was well, the severe diarrhea started, so back to the vet and a diagnosis of probable IBS. She got a shot of Reglan and put back on Sucralfate and another antibiotic, and is now back to her bouncy, spazzy self.

Perhaps you could run this by your vet and check with him about a GI bleed. I know you said there was a growth on the spleen, but maybe there is something else going on too. Just a thought.............

Prayers going out to you and Scruff, that he will be with you for a long time to come. PT prayers work miracles - they did for Myndi!

[MoonandBean]

I will be praying for Scruff. If love could heal him, he'd be invincible :love:

[lizbud]

Prayers for Scruff to not only feel better, but to be better. I pray that
The Vet can get to the bottom of this quickly and turn this around. You all
will stay in my prayers for a complete recovery.

[cassiesmom]

Prayers and good thoughts for your family and Scruff. :love:

From here too ((((HUGS))))

[moosmom]

Scruff is a beautiful dog and you and Scruff will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Donna and fur crew

[MonicanHonda]

So sorry to hear this. :-/ Prayers for such a cute boy... This is no fun to go through and I hope all make it out well.

[K9karen]

OhMy! Oodles of prayers going out to Scruff, sweet, handsome boy.

[Bonny]

Good Thoughts & Prayers sent Scruffs way.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm so sorry, Tracy. I know you have one of the biggest hearts on the planet and I can tell it's breaking. I'm sending out tons of thoughts and prayers to Scruff. Get Well Scruff!!!! We need you, buddy!!!
{{{{{TRACY}}}}}

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody for the prayers...they mean a lot. Reading your kind words brought tears to my eyes...all I seem to do lately is cry when I think about how sick Scruff is.

We woke up this morning to more diarrhea. Scruff looked so sad, as I am sure he is embarrassed by this. He is so insistent on going outside. Even when he ate 4ft of wire mesh a few year back and he had to throw up - he would stand by the door and whine, holding it in the whole time. Once he was outside, he would let it out. I know his accidents are upsetting him.

pomtzu - I will definitely ask my vet on Monday to check for a GI bleed. They did do a fecal but don't think they checked for that. He did have a little blood in his stool a few weeks ago, and that is why the vets did the fecal. He has been on Flagyl and it did nothing for him.

Daisy and Delilah said it best, my heart is breaking. It is so hard to watch him like this. When is it too much? When do I know what to do?

I will update everybody on his progress as things change. I know I have a habit of disappearing, but this time my internet is here to stay for some time.

Thank you for the prayers and kind words again.

[pomtzu]

Just another thought..........

I'm no doc, but that shot of Reglan that Myndi got, stopped the diarrhea dead in it's tracks.

Hoping that something can help Scruff to feel better soon.

[Daisy and Delilah]

More thoughts and prayers going out, Tracy. Please pull through this rough patch, Scruff!!
{{{{{MORE HUGS}}}}}

[wanwan1007]

I'm so sorry to hear about Scruff being so sick. I am praying for his healing as well as peace for the rest of your household. Stay encouraged and love on him. You know they are so sensitive to us and in spite of feeling bad he probably also feels your distress so try to be as calm as possible ( I know much easier to say than to do).

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you again everybody.

pomtzu - I will mention that to the vet on Monday - thank you for the advice.

wanwan1007 - I am trying to stay calm, but it is so hard. Every time I look at him I tear up.....my poor boy is fading, and I just don't know how to make him better.

[Reachoutrescue]

We are still waiting on blood results for Scruff. Should know something by Friday or Saturday.....please keep the prayers coming.

[lizbud]

We are still waiting on blood results for Scruff. Should know something by Friday or Saturday.....please keep the prayers coming.


Scruff is still tops on my prayer list. I sure hope you get encouraging
news from the tests. Give him a hug rom me.:)

[boomersooner]

Definitely in our prayers!!! I pray for the people and animals of Pet Talk every night! Keep us posted on sweet Scruff!

[jennielynn1970]

Thoughts and prayers going out to Scruff and you and your family. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Gentle pets for Scruff.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear about Scruff.:( Lots of prayers and positive thoughts are being sent his way. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Reachoutrescue]

First, I would like to say thank you for all the prayers and kind words. I only wish you all could meet Scruff so you can truly see what an amazing pup he really is.

Quick recap - for those that may not have read my very lengthy post:

It has been a very long 3 months. We are still battling this unknown illness. Scruff is on Prednisone twice a day. We have been back and forth to the vet's for blood work and his RBC just keeps going down, then up, then down, then up - it was like a roller coaster. Then he was having trouble with his platelets and other cells. This is why the vet put him on the Prednisone - in hope that is is an Autoimmune Hemolytic anemia and not cancer.

UPDATE: Today we went in and they did the blood test in house. Everything looks good except for the RBC - which stayed at 28%, but should be around 35-50%, his weight is up to 69.2lbs, but we are afraid most of it is the bloated belly and I am very concerned, yet his body is all bones. The vet felt his stomach. The vet said his spleen is enlarged still and the extra bloating can be caused by the Prednisone, as that is a side effect. He also said that Scruff will look like a "cancer patient" for a while, as that is another side affect to the steroid - muscle loss and weight loss. Doc said if the meds do work, he will begin gaining weight a little down the road. He put Scruff on another med in addition to the Pred. It is called Azathioprine, he is to get that once a day. The vets said if it is not Autoimmune Hemolytic anemia it is more then likely Histiocytic Sarcoma of the Spleen - or better said as Cancer. If this is what it is, Scruff can live several months or just a few days. Sarcoma of the Spleen is said not to be a painful cancer, but a very aggressive one.

The vet said we can get another ultrasound, but he is not sure if it will tell us anything more then Scruff's spleen is enlarged. Without opening him up, there is no 100% answer - and I will not do that to him, as there are many risks. If it is cancer, opening him up can cause it to spread. He may die on the table - alone. I just can't stand the thought of that.

Doc did say that Scruff still has some "Gettie Up" in him and that there is no need to make a decision at this point. So, plan of action is to continue both pills and do weekly blood tests to be sure his levels stay up.

Please pray for our boy. Everyday that he is here is a gift - I know that - but I want him to stay here and get better. Please, please, pray.

Thank you everybody.

[Reachoutrescue]

I took these the other day - you can all see how much he is fading....

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/8-18-103.jpg

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/8-18-10.jpg

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/8-18-101.jpg

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/8-18-102.jpg

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/8-18-104.jpg

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/Our%20Pets/8-18-105.jpg

My poor boy.....

[chocolatepuppy]

Oh Tracy, I know how heartbreaking this can be.:( Hang in there hoping for the best, meanwhile loving every day with Scruff. He's an adorable boy, puts me in mind of my black and white dog RB Corey. I will continue to keep Scruff and your family in my prayers. {hugs}

[lizbud]

I agree with your decision to not do any surgery that won't fix the
problem. As long as Scruff can stay pain free & comfortable,I'd continue
as you are too. Scruff looks so sweet in his pictures, makes me want to
just hug him. Hang in there Scruff, you are in my prayers sweetie.:)

[Reachoutrescue]

chocolatepuppy - Thank you - it is heartbreaking....I am praying he will get better. He is a strong boy and a trooper. I have faith....

lizbud - Thank you - I cannot let him go through surgery for nothing - I cannot put him through that. I really hope these meds work....

Thank you for the prayers.

[Daisy and Delilah]

More thoughts and prayers going out. He is such a sweet, handsome boy. Get Well Scruff!!! Please!!!

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you Daisy and Delilah.

Scruff is hanging on.....he goes back in on Friday - so we shall see. He is still bloated, but eating very well and some what active. That is a good sign I guess.

Thank you all again.

[Reachoutrescue]

Hello All-

I just wanted to update you all on Scruff.

He went to the vet on Friday for another blood test. The vet ran the results in-house for us. Sadly, Scruff's red blood cell count went down again - it was at 23% from 28% that it was at last week Friday. His weight stayed the same.

Dr. Lancaster told us that it is Cancer. He said if it was the Autoimmune Anemia, the second medication would have started to make the RBC count rise. Dr. L said that the bloat in his stomach is more than likely a mass and his spleen is very enlarged, which we knew about the spleen. He did say we can do more testing such as a biopsy, scope, or more ultrasounds, but it will reveal the same thing. All it will do is give us a definite answer.

We do not want to put our boy through anymore testing. We know in our hearts what it is. Dr. Lancaster said all we can do now is keep Scruff as comfortable and happy as possible. He assured us that he is not in pain, but just tired. He would like us to keep him on the Prednisone,as it is helping Scruff eat and have good days. Dr. L said there is no need to do anything drastic at this time. He said Scruff will let us know when it is time.

Today was a bad day for our boy. He ate his breakfast as normal and took his pill. Around 3:30pm he threw up all his food from the morning and just laid there looking so sad. He did not want his dinner. He is now resting on our bed - where he LOVES to be. Funny thing is we never really let him up there till just recently. He has his own bed - a futon - but he likes ours better.

So, we will keep our boy as comfortable and as happy as we can. He will go in every 2 weeks for a check up and blood test to see where he is at. We will keep him on the Pred and spoil him to his heart's content. I just hope he knows how much he is loved. He is my third child and I really do love him more than I ever thought I could.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, support, and kind words. The vet bill is very high. If anybody would like to make a donation you may use this link:

http://reachoutrescue.chipin.com/help-with-scruffs-vet-bills

You may also donate to our vet directly:
Wheaton Animal Hospital
266 Roosevelt Rd
Glen Ellyn, IL
630-665-1500
Please ask for Kim and reference "Reach Out Rescue, Scruff".

Scruff did turn 6 years old on August 25th. Maybe, just maybe, he will make it to 7.....

Thank you all so much.

[chocolatepuppy]

I'm sorry Tracy that it wasn't better news.:( I hope Scruff has a good bit more happy time left with you. I will keep him in my prayers.

[Roxyluvsme13]

I just read all of this and I'm so sorry to hear about Scruff. I'll keep you and Scruff in my thoughts and hope that you have a few more good memories and good times with your boy. *hugs*

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear that he has cancer.:( August 25th was also my RB Sunny's birthday and he would've been 10 years old but I had to put him to sleep in late Feb. of this year because he also had cancer.:( I hope that Scruff will be able to remain as comfortable as possible and that he'll still have a lot of good days ahead of him. Lots more prayers and positive thoughts are being sent his way. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[sana]

Little Scruff is in my prayers, Tracy. Sorry to hear about cancer, :( may God give you and Scruff enough patience to go through all this mess. God help and May He give Scruff enough strength to live a long happy life.

[ferky]

Tracy - this post may not be of any help if you have gotten a definitive cancer diagnosis, but I thought I would share anyway. 2 weeks ago I lost my 7 year old Shih Tzu, Miles (in the pic below), to IMHA (basically the same as AIHA). If there is one thing I learned, it's that you have to keep your doggy eating so they can accept the medication. With a fluctuating RBC, I would continue with the Azathioprine in addition to the Prednisone. Those meds are real tough on the stomach though, and the best thing for that is food and some form of stomach acid reduction (Pepsid, Prilosec, etc.). Once they stop taking food, the stomach responds poorly to the meds and it's all downhill from there. Like I said before, if this is speen or another form of cancer, this advice may be of little use.

In my many hours of research on IMHA, I stumbled across this product that has gotten rave reviews. I never had a chance to use it on Miles (it arrived promptly, but sadly after Miles passed), but it doesn't seem like it could hurt. The testimonials are all glowing (no surprise there), and I also spoke to company representatives who sounded geniune and caring. http://www.optimumchoices.com/

Good luck to you and yours.

[Alysser]

I am so sorry to hear about Scruff. I remember him well. :( I hope things work out for your boy. I know when it is time to make a decision you will choose the best one.:love:

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers.

This has been a very hard couple of weeks with our boy. He has had some very good days where he will chew his favorite bones, try to jump up on our volunteers, play with his best bud, Piglet, etc. The last couple of days were very rough. He stopped eating and started pooping straight blood. Yet he still was very active. The stool no longer has blood, but still liquid. Tonight he ate his dinner very well and I caught him chewing his bone again. He still barks at at knock at the door, another dog barking, or just anything else he may feel the need to bark at.

I keep wondering "will I know when the time has come, will he tell me?" - this lingers in my mind so much. He is my love and I worry so about him. I worry that if I take him in now, it is too soon, but if I wait, am I making him suffer. I see so much of the "old" Scruff still that I am very hesitant to put him down. But then I see him have bad days and I wonder - should I take him in? He did not eat much yesterday but began to slowly get back to eating today. He sleeps a lot, but he breathing is regular and relaxed. He is very attentive. I just don't know what to do. The vet says he is not ready yet and when he is he will tell me - but I just don't know.

My heart is breaking.....I miss my boy.

ferky - I will take a look at the link. I also have decided to start him on back on the Azathioprine. The vet said to do it every other day verses everyday. He is still on the Pred, but if he won't eat, I won't give it to him, as I know it will make him very sick. He is suppose to have 2 a day. Yesterday he only took one, as he would not eat dinner. Today I got him to eat both meals and he took both pills. Thank you for the advice and I am so sorry to hear you lost your sweet Miles. I am dreading the day we lose Scruff.

[Taz_Zoee]

I know exactly what you are going through. Everyone told me I'd know when the time had come with my cat, Taz. I would always second guess myself and wonder if it was, then say oh, no it's not. But the last time I took him to the vet I sort of knew it was the last time. :( And when the vet told me she wouldn't argue with me if I decided to let him go right then, I knew it was time. (oh geez, here are the tears again, over a year later)
Like Scruff is to you, Taz was my baby boy. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I do know it was the right thing to do.

You will know (deep down, even if you don't realize it) when it is time. And when that time comes and I read it here on Pet Talk, I will probably cry for you just like I did when I said goodbye to Taz (and like I'm doing right now).

I do hope you have several more months with Scruff though.

[Louie and me]

So many of us know what you are going through right now and it is heart breaking for you. Louie was such a fighter and still wanted his treats and to go for a little walk until the very end. Deciding it was time was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, but it was time, I know that now. There will come a point when you will realize that Scruff is no longer enjoying life and his bad days far outweigh his good ones. It will break your heart but you will know it is time. In the meantime enjoy his good days and shower him with all the love you have. Our thoughts are with you.

[lizbud]

I keep wondering "will I know when the time has come, will he tell me?" - this lingers in my mind so much. He is my love and I worry so about him. I worry that if I take him in now, it is too soon, but if I wait, am I making him suffer. I see so much of the "old" Scruff still that I am very hesitant to put him down. But then I see him have bad days and I wonder - should I take him in? He did not eat much yesterday but began to slowly get back to eating today. He sleeps a lot, but he breathing is regular and relaxed. He is very attentive. I just don't know what to do. The vet says he is not ready yet and when he is he will tell me - but I just don't know.






Trust yourself & trust Scruff. You will know in your heart when he no
longer gets any joy out of life. Food or chew bones don't mean anything
to him anymore.:(:( When his only peace is sleep & the spark goes out of
his eyes, you will know. It is indeed hard to explain, but as close as you two
seem to be, I do believe you will know when it is time to step in for his sake.

Prayers for more good days than bad, and comfort & joy yet for Scruff.((Hugs))

[lute]

Tracy, I havent't been on PT in months myself. I just happened to hop on here n see this. I'm sooo sorry to hear about Scruff. I know he's your baby. When my RB Gracie was in and out of the vets I was stressed to the max. I know what you are going through is very tough. If you need anything please let me know. You know how to contact me. I'll FB my new number to you. If it's Scruff's time to go he will find a way to tell you. My RB Gracie knew when to tell me it was her time.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody. Your kind words mean so much...I hope you all know that.

Scruff is doing okay. He is eating well and we caught him eating out of the food bowl - which is something he has not done in such a long time. He still loves his bones and will make sure we ALL know that they are HIS! :) He goes back to the vet tomorrow for another blood test, weigh, and refill on his Pred.

I have accepted the fact that he is not long for the world...but his time left is very special. He still does not do things he used to, but he does still do many of them. He will not give kisses or jump up on our laps - yep! He was a HUGE lap dog! :) He does still play with Piglet and Butch....he does still cuddle at times, and he played tug-a-war with Dave yesterday with his bone. He still barks at the door, gets excited when we come home or somebody comes to visit. He has accidents here and there, but nothing for us to get mad over. He looks so sad when he has one, like he is embarrassed. I just tell him "don't worry Scruffers, you are fine....we are not mad at you".

Every night before we go to bed we all (the kids too) say "good night Scruff, we love you bunches". He is now sleeping in our room with us. He will come on the bed sometimes, but mostly sleeps on the blanket next to our bed. He seems content to be by us. He actually is very clingy now. He tells me when he is hungry...which is a good thing.

Taz_Zoee - I am sorry you got upset when speaking of Taz....but thank you for sharing that with me.

Louie and me - Thank you for the kind words and I am sorry about you Louie. He sounds a lot like Scruff is now.

lizbud - Thank you - I know that deep down, I will know when it is time. I just know the pain that will come with it...the emptiness in our house when it is time....Scruff has brought so much joy to us. His passing will be very hard on all of us, especially the boys. A few weeks ago, Scruff had diareha that was all blood, we really thought that was it. Our youngest son, Tyler who is 10 saw it. A little later, after it was all cleaned up and all, I saw Tyler in the kitchen looking so sad. I asked him if he was okay, he shook his head and buried it into my chest and sobbed....that broke my heart so much. Here I am a rescuer - saving lives everyday and I cannot take my son's pain away and save his four legged brother..... I think that makes it so much more painful.

lute - Thank you dear friend.....please do fb me your number. I sure do miss you! I know how it was for you to loose Gracie - she was such a great girl, and I am so glad I was able to meet her. I know she will be standing besides Lady and Feisty waiting for Scruff when his time comes.

Thank you all again....I will update tomorrow or Friday regarding his apt tomorrow.

[Taz_Zoee]

A few weeks ago, Scruff had diareha that was all blood, we really thought that was it. Our youngest son, Tyler who is 10 saw it. A little later, after it was all cleaned up and all, I saw Tyler in the kitchen looking so sad. I asked him if he was okay, he shook his head and buried it into my chest and sobbed....that broke my heart so much. Here I am a rescuer - saving lives everyday and I cannot take my son's pain away and save his four legged brother..... I think that makes it so much more painful.


This just brought on the tears again. It's so hard to explain these things to children. Some just get it and understand it, then for others it just so difficult. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and hope that everyone will find peace with all of this at some point.

[Reachoutrescue]

Taz_Zoe - thank you. He had a hard time accepting the fact that our boy is dying. He has been acting out too. Now, Tyler understands that the best thing we can do for Scruff is to love him - and to let him go.

We have decided to make arrangements to put Scruff down. He is so miserable. And though he chews his bones occasionally, is eating/drinking well, and using the bathroom - he is not happy. All he does is sleep and when he is awake (when not eating) he is looking at us with ever so sad eyes.

I will be calling the vet tomorrow and go from there.

I will keep you all posted.

Thank you all so much for all your support, kind words, and prayers.

This is, by far, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This is my son and it hurts like I am losing my child....because I am. But I know in my heart, it is the right thing to do. I cannot let him suffer anymore. It is time to walk him to the bridge.

[caseysmom]

I am so sorry. There is so much sadness of pettalk today, its overwhelming. I hope you realize you are doing the right thing.

[chocolatepuppy]

I'm so sorry Tracy.:( If you're seeing the 'signs', you're doing the right thing. It will be hard, but Scruff will be at peace. We will all be here for you. {{{hugs}}}

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you Caseysmom and Chocolatepuppy.

I have been up all night, just watching Scruff and trying to find the courage to make the call I am going to make in less then an hour. Tears won't stop. But, I know, deep in my heart, I know - it is time. He is so young and it is so unfair. It is making me lose my faith all over again. Far too often have I lost loved ones at such a young age - much before their time. Helen, Uncle Rocco, Deb, Lady, Fiesty, and the list goes on. Now I will lose Scruff. I keep asking myself "is it too soon" and "how can I do this" HOW! I don't think I have the strength to do this. But I know I have to find it. The sadness I feel is so over powering - I cannot describe. I know many of you know how I feel, and thank you...but I HATE feeling so weak, so not in control, so helpless. I have to do what is right for Scruff - I know that - but it really is tearing me apart more then I EVER imagined it would.

Sorry for the whole "poor me" comment.....it is just that my feelings are so discombobulated - I can't even think straight. Again, thank you for the very kind words. They really and truly are appreciated.

[Bonny]

You have done all you can for Scruff giving him love & caring for his needs. It is so sad when it comes time to make the decision & even harder when you have children. My heart goes out to you, your family, & Scruff. We have had to make the decision many times in the past so undertand very well how you are feeling at this time. (((HUGS))) sent you, your family, & Scruff.

[lizbud]

I am so sorry. This is a heartbreaking moment that I remember too. Feelings
of dread & helplessness at the moment seem to flood your soul.:(:(

If you can imagine Scruff talking to you, as only a dear friend would do, he
might say that he does understand your pain at parting from him. It is indeed
the hardest thing to say goodbye to a best buddy. (((Hugs))) Be at peace
with whatever you decide to do, for it will be the only kindly & loving thing
you are able to do for him. (((Hugs))) & prayers for you and for Scruff.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/lastbatt.htm

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear this.:( You've done everything that you could for him and now he'll be pain free and at peace. Whenever you decide to let him go, I hope he'll go peacefully. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[robinh]

We all know there is no "poor me" whine in this situation. It is the hardest and bravest thing you ever do for your beloved friend and you wouldn't be human if your heart wasn't tearing apart.

My heart breaks for you at this time. Your beloved Scruff loves you and trusts you to take care of him, no matter what. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this difficult time.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody. Your words are very kind and mean so very much.

Lizbud - Thank you for the link to that poem. I wonder if that is really what Scruff is thinking.

This morning Scruff was doing well, eating, wagging his tail, he got up from the floor pretty well, not perfect, but not struggling either, and his eyes were so bright. I thought, maybe he is not ready. Dave and I talked about it a bit again today. We feel that physically he is ready, but mentally he is not. Like he can't go. Dave said to me today "I just don't want him to be disappointed in us." Now, that is all I have thought about today. What if he is? What if he thinks we gave up on him? Am I rushing it? Or am I being selfish to have him stay?

But then this evening, he barely ate, had trouble once again getting up, and the sparkle in his eyes was just not there.

I am so torn. Dave and I have decided to see how he is this coming week....if he remains the way he is now (or of course gets worse), we will be going in to the vet on Friday....

[Louie and me]

Tracy my heart breaks for you. It is such a hard decision and when Scruff is showing some of his old self it seems somehow wrong to let him go. We waited weeks (in fact too many weeks) until the vet herself helped us make the final decision. My husband still questions whether it was time but it was and as sad as I am, I have no regrets. Scruff may be trying to please you because he knows you are both sad. Keep him as comfortable as you can and showered with love and when the time comes, have no regrets you have done the very best you can for him.

[chocolatepuppy]

Thinking of you...

[boomersooner]

I'm so sorry you are going through this....I went through it with my Cassie a couple of years ago....you will know when and if it is time.....you just will......

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody - you guys are very sweet.

Everybody keeps telling me that I will know when it is time. I thought I did - but then Scruff gets that old look back in his eyes and I get torn....

Dave and I have decided to wait, just a bit. We were going to take him this Friday, but we really don't feel right about it.

Scruff fell again today. I helped him on the bed and he seemed okay. He ate great today and got up to greet the boys after school and Dave after work. I know it is close, but I also know he is not ready - I just don't feel it. It feels wrong. I hope I am not being selfish. It's weird, with rescued animals, it is hard, but I don't feel this torn. It should not be different, but it is. I feel bad admitting that.

We are having our pastor come by on Thursday. He does Reiki. Reiki is a Japanese holistic energy healing system that is gentle and noninvasive and yet yields powerful results for the body, mind and spirit. We know that it will not heal him - we need a miracle for that, but we are hoping it eases his discomfort a bit till he decides it is time to go to the Rainbow Bridge.

I will keep everybody posted. Thank you again for the kind words.

[chocolatepuppy]

Tracy, you will know and when he gives that 'ok' to let him go, it will ease your feeling of guilt. No one should feel quilty for letting a pet go, pain, yes, but not quilt. My hardest furkid to have put down was Lacey, because she wasn't really sick, just couldn't walk. My vet told me that was in a sense, sick. She had little quality of life left when she couldn't even walk the yard a bit and then couldn't get up and falling all the time.:( I swear, at the vets, she was hoping that's why she was there. She seemed so tired of all of it that day.:(
I am keeping you, your family and Scruff in my thoughts and prayers. {{{hugs}}}

[Reachoutrescue]

chocolatepuppy - First, I am so sorry about Lacey. It seems like she told you it was time. Second - thank you. What you said helped. I would feel guilty about putting him down right now. But I also do not want to be selfish. He is still going outside, chewing bones, wagging his tail, barking, greeting us at the door, and eating very, very well. I am sure the appetite has a lot to do with the Preds, but he is eating and keeping it down. His stool is even solid again.

I just don't feel he is ready. I don't want anybody on here thinking I am being selfish either - I don't want people to think bad of me.

I love Scruff - and watching him everyday kills me - but how can I end his life if he is not ready.

Thank you for listening to my struggle with myself!! LOL :)

[Reachoutrescue]

I just wanted to update everybody.

Our Rev. just left a bit ago. Before preforming Reiki, Rev. told me what he would do and then he told me some experiences with Reiki and miracles he has encountered. He told me a story of a woman he knows had brain tumors (the size of two thumbs put together). Drs wanted to do surgery and get more aggressive....she told the Dr she wanted to pray on it a bit. The Dr told her she was a grown woman to basically face reality....she walked out of the office after telling him where to go - so to speak. She decided to talk to Rev. and others regarding receiving Reiki. She had Reiki sessions and had another CT scan recently and the tumors are gone.... And there were other stories as well.

Rev. preformed the Reiki on Scruff - it was amazing to watch how relaxed Scruff became and how Rev. connected with him. Rev even let the boys put their hands on Scruff to assist...I think that made them feel good. It lasted about 35 minutes. I have never heard my house so quiet. All the pups were so relaxed a quiet. Even our cats! Munchkin our kit felt the need to lay on the arm of the couch and watch...she is hardly ever out when people are over - if she is, not for long. She was very interested.

weirdest but neatest thing happened. Dave came home from work and Scruff tried getting up to greet him, we kept Scruff still on the couch as not to interrupt the session. Dave knelt down by Scruff and Scruff gave Dave three kisses on his nose....Scruff has not kissed ANYBODY since he became ill....

I am not sure what to think about that. But we will be having Rev. Biel preform Reiki on Scruff on Monday and Wed...with lots of prayers being said. I was so moved by Scruff's personality during the session - so calm and the smooch just melted my heart.....brought tears to my eyes. I was amazed by his reaction.

I know it is a long shot - but stranger things have happened.....The energy in our bodies is powerful - but I never knew it could heal. I also am keeping a firm head about this - knowing nothing may come of it - but I have to have faith - as that is really all I have right now.

I will keep everybody updated...thanks for listening....hope you all don't think I am crazy!!

Tracy-

[Taz_Zoee]

Awww, Scruff giving kisses brought tears to my eyes also. I, for one, do not think you are crazy. I say try every possible thing you can to help your baby. Absolutely! I will be thinking good thoughts that there could be a miracle here for Scruff. :)

[Reachoutrescue]

I just wanted to update everybody real quick on Scruff.

He is doing okay...still fighting to be with us. He fell a couple of times today. It broke my heart. He still has spunk and a great appetite. On days he is not so hungry, he pleases me by taking enough food for his meds and to fill his swollen belly.

Scruff gets Reiki once a week and it really does seem to help. We know our time is limited with him...so right now we are just loving him.

Thank you all so much for caring about our boy. I will update again in a few days.

[chocolatepuppy]

Thanks for keeping us updated. Good to hear the Reiki is helping. Enjoy every precious moment he is with you. {hugs}

[GoldenLover]

Praying for you and poor Scruff

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody.

Today has been a rough day for our boy. He is not doing well. This is just tearing my heart out.

I know the time is approaching, I feel he is giving us signs....

Dave and I will be talking about this tomorrow and making a decision, as I don't know if he will bounce back from this bad spell. He usually does, but he has never been this down before. It is really hard for him to get up....he has no muscle left. Piglet continues to check on him - going up to him and nuzzling him, licking him, and nibbling him.

Everybody says we will know when it is time.....but I just don't know, as he still goes outside, eats, chews bones, and barks....though his bark does sound much weaker. He is so attentive though....

I just don't know.

[CountryWolf07]

How is Scruff today?

[dukedogsmom]

Imso very sorry to learn of Scruff being sick. Just cherish every moment because time is a gift. And give Scruff plenty of love from me. You will know when its time and its pretty much impossible not to feel guilt. Just know you've done your best and that Scruff knows he's well loved. We're all here for you.

[Reachoutrescue]

Scruff is not doing any better. He continues to eat and drink, but has little energy to get up on his own. He tries, but seems to rush it. If we tell him go go slow, he seems to understand and take his time. He is very comfortable on his dog bed and will get up when he can. He still goes outside and like I said, he is still eating and drinking....even chewing his bones. He did try to play with Butch today.....

Thank you everybody for the nice comments and prayers...but sadly, they are not working on our boy.

[chocolatepuppy]

Continued prayers for Scruff and your family. Praying he is comfortable and you have him with you for a while longer. {{{hugs}}}

[Reachoutrescue]

Everybody - please see Dog Memorial.....

Thank you all for caring and loving Scruff. I know he felt your love.

Tracy, Dave, Austin, and Tyler-