My neighbor... the sexual offender

[ramanth]

Great house... great deal... quiet neighborhood... friendly neighbor.... who just happens to be on the Sexual Offender List. *sigh*

And has quite a record...
http://www.state.mi.us/mdoc/asp/otis2profile.asp?mdocNumber=288182


To back up... when my dad and I were looking at the house back in June, Mike was out working in the garden. Dad called over and said hi, and Mike responded in kind, but made no move to come to the fence. Dad asked him how he liked the area and Mike said it was nice and quiet and he had had no problems.

Last Friday, I was outside with my aunt, when Mike walked up to the fence and said hi. He reintroduced himself, but made no move to shake my hand or anything. He asked if I had anyone caring for my lawn and I replied that I would be mowing it eventually but didn't have a mower yet. He told me he mowed the other neighbors lawn for $20 and if that was reasonable. I agreed that it was and he said he'd mow it on Saturday.

Saturday came and after the carpet cleaners left, I hear the mower and Mike was tending the lawn. Afterwards he tapped on the door and then backed away about 6 feet. I gave him $20 and thanked him. He stepped back again and said it was no problem and asked if I would be interested in any vegetables from their garden. He explained that they had way too much for them to eat and said it'd be no charge. I said sure and a short while later he brought over a bag, tapped on the door and left.

An hour after that, the dogs started barking and an elderly gentleman was at my door with a baking dish. He told me, 'Welcome to the neighborhood', and walked off before I could ask his name. (He lives in the same house as Mike.)

It was Sunday when I was on the Family Watchdog site and found my neighbor listed.

I haven't had a chance to work on the house since, but today when I stopped by to check the mail, there was a bag of cherry tomatoes hanging on my porch handrail.

I'm not going to be paranoid or live in fear but I am going to be cautious and on guard.

If it were you, would you say something to the guy right off the bat or not bring it up unless he tried to get overly friendly?

[RICHARD]

Keep your distance and never let your guard down.

--------------

MY gf had moved into an apartment building and we ran into the landlord dude.

She introduced me and the guy never made eye contact and gave me the wimpiest handshake on the planet.

Later on I told her that I didn't trust him at all and there was something strange about him. She poo-poohed me and a few months later she told me that she was stopped by two detectives in the parking lot asking about him-
turns out he was sleeping with a teen that lived one of the units. Sometimes you intuition is way better than you think.

So, be careful and never leave anything to chance.

[Karen]

I would not say anything, but just be cautious, and be polite but not too friendly. If there are neighbors with kids that you get to know, you should make sure they know about his status.

[Puckstop31]

http://michigan.gov/msp/1,1607,7-123-1591_3503_4654-10926--,00.html

Get one. Do not let anyone know you have it. Learn to use it. Use it if you must. If you decide you MUST use it. Use it to kill. Pray/hope/vibe/whatever that you never NEED it.

---

What you describe is my worst fear as a father of a girl.

[caseysmom]

We had one in our neighborhood, I have two teenage daughters...the neighbors put so much pressure on the family they had him move, it was an adult kid.

If your not comfortable with a gun (which I have no problem with, I had one once and learned how to use it) but if your not comfortable you can get pepper spray.

[ramanth]

I'm comfortable around guns. Grandpa was a police officer and hunter, my parents hunted. I've fired rifles and pistols at ranges.

I'm just not sure if I'd have the wits to take another life and I have the fear the gun could be taken from me by force and used against me.

Ever since I started house hunting, I knew I'd be living alone and so I've been reading several self defense books. Someone tries to start something with me, I'm not going down without a fight.

[Catherinedana]

I suggest that you take any precautions that you would take NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVED as any sensible person would. I, personally, would not mention it. Just don't get too close and even though he has made friendly overtures, you can be friendly back without encouraging his constant attention. He may actually be trying to do the right thing but your vigilance in taking care of yourself will not allow something bad to happen with this man or anyone else. It looks to me like he may have a substance issue that governs his actions. I would imagine that his sexual offense is sex with a minor from what the record says. He's on parol so if you see anything that worries you or if he's walking around drunk or high, report it. . .they'll put him away again.

Just be careful. . .but then again ALWAYS be careful :love:
Cathy

[pomtzu]

Just be on guard, and don't let him get too friendly. I wouldn't let him know that you know his background unless he is anything toward you, other than neighborly. It appears he is already keeping his distance tho if he didn't offer a handshake and backed away from you too. One good thing - he hasn't had any "known" offenses in 3 years, so maybe there is hope for him in spite of his rather lengthy record.

[Catty1]

pomtzu - I agree that he is clearly keeping his distance; backing away, not shaking hands, dropping off veggies and knocking on the door and leaving.

The older man may be his dad - and maybe was a way of letting you know that he is not there alone.

By all means take precautions, as you would anywhere...but also remember that he is fighting the hardest fight of his life, a life that no one should envy.

[Freedom]

When you were looking at the house, the Realtor was SUPPOSED to do a search and advise you of this! Consider what to say (I'm not sure at this moment) and then give that Realtor a call!!! This definitely had an impact on the house price.

As the others said, keep your distance. Be polite, not too friendly. Pepper spray sounds like a good idea.

Look around -- does he REALLY mow for other neighbors, or was that just a line he gave you? Something to consider.

[Husky_mom]

I would repeat what everyone has said already.. so.. I´ll just add.. better than pepper spray.. wasp spray.. I read on FB it´s better as it sprays further.. I think I even copied it to my own.. if not it´s on Alicia´s (buttercup) FB..

hold on I´ll retrieve it and copy it here ;)

[Husky_mom]

found it!!.. kinda lenghty but worth reading.. (intended for burglars but works just as well)

THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there
too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take
it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system . If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the
flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at
<http://www.faketv.com/>;;; http://www.faketv.com/)


8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook..

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again.. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page.. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina , Oregon , California , and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs

<http://www.crimedoctor.com/>;;; http://www.crimedoctor.com// and
Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of
Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars
on the Job

Protection for you and your home:


If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's
evil plans for you. (I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.):

WASP SPRAY


A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was
concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them
when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police
department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that
she get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is
a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too
close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily
blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She
keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention
from people like a can of pepper spray would.. She also keeps one
nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and
might be of use.

FROM ANOTHER SOURCE

On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in
Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your
life..

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High
School. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet
spray near your door or bed.

Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than
mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if
someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says, "spray the culprit
in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades. It's also
one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection,
Glinka says look to the spray.

"That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out."

Maybe even save a life.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your
Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run
across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your
house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be
set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it
off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch
coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to
put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that
you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It
will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep
honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the
button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or
garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break
into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around.
After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their
windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't
want
that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a
parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is
something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could
save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

P.S. I am sending this to everyone I know because I think it is
fantastic. Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart
attack, where you can't reach a phone.

Please pass this on even IF you've read it before. It's a reminder

Please share this with all the people in your life.

[Lady's Human]

The wasp spray sounded like a red herring, and it is.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/waspspray.asp

Some things to consider: Pepper spray is a defensive weapon, and can be classified as nothing else. It's legal, vetted, and reliable.

Wasp Spray is a chemical spray formulated to interfere with the nervous systems of insects. Guess what? What it does for one species, it will do for other species. Basically it's nerve agent for bugs.

The range makes it into something a decent attorney could play hell with, it's not defensive, it's offensive.

The chemical makeup would be another thing you'd be liable for.

Don't play footsy, if you have serious concerns about this individual, get training, get a permit, get a gun, and practice with it. If you're not going to train with the weapon to become proficient, don't bother, though. Stick with the pepper spray.

[Husky_mom]

thanks for clearing that up Lady´s... I never looked into that.. guess I got sold by the "shoots further" part :p

[RICHARD]

The wasp spray sounded like a red herring, and it is.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/waspspray.asp

Some things to consider: Pepper spray is a defensive weapon, and can be classified as nothing else. It's legal, vetted, and reliable.

Wasp Spray is a chemical spray formulated to interfere with the nervous systems of insects. Guess what? What it does for one species, it will do for other species. Basically it's nerve agent for bugs.



Would a burglar 'bug' you?;)

IT was the first thing I got my hands on.

I feared for my life.

:eek:

[Lady's Human]

Most people keep wasp spray and other bug sprays away from living areas because of the hazards.

Probably wouldn't fly in court.

[sirrahbed]

Lots of good advice here. No, I would not say anything to this guy - just be on guard but not paranoid. $20 sounds like a good deal to have the lawn mowed. I am surprised that realtors don't let you know though, I assumed in this current day that they either would or would be *required* to let you know. I personally check http://www.familywatchdog.us/ from time to time for my own area and for the areas where my kids live. We also use concealed carry as was suggested - not for everyone but it is our right and is a good one.

[lvpets2002]

:) I so aggree with everyone else on not saying anything, but keep your guard up & eyes & ears wide open.. Now if the Realtors did know about him, they would not have to tell you since you dont have any children.. Now if you had children then I would think they by Law would have had to tell you.. Now your not close to a School are you?? If so then this S/O guy must move.. That is the law he cannot live within so many miles near a school.. He also is not to live anywhere near houses with children.. So that you might check into.. I aggree with Brian = Puckstop on the Gun issue..

[RICHARD]

Probably wouldn't fly in court.

Or wasp, mosquito or bee, either?:eek::rolleyes::confused:

[lizbud]

Oh geeze.:( I guess forewarned is forearmed & I'd just keep a distance
from him. I would also not let him make any attempt to warm up to the dogs
or make a habit of coming around your house for anything.

[ramanth]

Regarding the wasp spray, it was mentioned as a tool to use in a few of the self defense books I read, however, it's prohibited in Michigan to use it as a form of self defense.

As for the realtor, he may of not known. The home was a HUD home which means it was sold by the government. I don't think who lives nearby affects the price tag they put on a house.

[Freedom]

I don't think who lives nearby affects the price tag they put on a house.

Sorry, this is SO wrong. July 19, 2010; but there are many, many reports along this line.
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/local/crime/Study_-Nearby-sex-offenders-affect-Va_-home-values-1001080-98633324.html
any "stigma or risk" associated with a home will affect its value.
. . . . .
A registered sex offender living nearby can make a home harder to sell and lower its value, according to a study by three Virginia professors.

The study found that the presence of a nearby offender reduced a home's value by about 9 percent and such houses took up to 10 percent longer to sell than homes with no registered sex offenders living close by.

Read more at the Washington Examiner: http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/local/crime/Study_-Nearby-sex-offenders-affect-Va_-home-values-1001080-98633324.html#ixzz0vgEYIEAP


http://realtytimes.com/rtpages/20050620_registeredoffender.htm
Most states, although specific legal obligations vary, require sellers, listing agents and buyer's agents to provide any known information about registered sex offenders living in the area.

"Under civil code 1102 and/or 2079 [in California] a seller has a duty to disclose any facts that might materially affect the value or desirability of the property and to disclose those facts to any prospective purchaser. So clearly, if you have a registered sex offender living across the street and you have actual knowledge of that then that should be disclosed," says Spilger.

Many purchase contracts now include disclosure information about how to look up information on registered sex offenders. Requirements may vary from state-to-state, but many times a real estate agent or seller must simply inform the prospective buyer about where to look up information in the registered sex offender database for that area.

So the broker -- unless you hired a BUYER'S BROKER to represent YOU -- is not required to tell you but is usually in most areas required to tell you how to do your own due diligence and check up on this.

[IRescue452]

My guess is his girlfriend got mad at him, judging by the 3rd degree and short sentence. Don't let your guard down, but don't rate him in the same category as child predators either. That's not fair since you don't know his story. I have a relative who's a sex offender for being with a 17 year old when he was 18 or 19. She got mad at him. Sure he was stupid for being with somebody underage, but he isn't a child molestor and he isn't predatory. Get an alarm system if you don't already have one. And don't use a toxic chemical like wasp spray on anybody unless you want to be charged and sent to prison yourself.

[Lady's Human]

Regarding the wasp spray, it was mentioned as a tool to use in a few of the self defense books I read, however, it's prohibited in Michigan to use it as a form of self defense..

The self defense book authors don't have to deal with the legal aftermath of hitting someone in the face with chemicals that can affect the nervous system.

A handgun is pretty much self defense.

Using Toxins as defense? It's no longer considered self defense.

[Karen]

My guess is his girlfriend got mad at him, judging by the 3rd degree and short sentence. Don't let your guard down, but don't rate him in the same category as child predators either. That's not fair since you don't know his story. I have a relative who's a sex offender for being with a 17 year old when he was 18 or 19. She got mad at him. Sure he was stupid for being with somebody underage, but he isn't a child molestor and he isn't predatory. Get an alarm system if you don't already have one. And don't use a toxic chemical like wasp spray on anybody unless you want to be charged and sent to prison yourself.

If you look at his age (currently 38) the date of the offense (2002) and that the other party involved had to be between the ages of 13 and 17, I doubt it was a "girlfriend mad at him" situation, frankly.

[ramanth]

Never hired a broker. HUD hires local realty companies to sell the properties. According to HUD the home appraised at $25K and that was what it was sold at. Was the fact that Mike lived next door the reason it was appraised so low? Not sure.

I'm sure having a known offender can lower the price of a home...that I don't doubt. I'm just saying I'm not sure if the government (HUD) cared.

What's done is done. I'm not moving. :)

[pomtzu]

I'm confused!
You can't use wasp spray for self defense, but you can use a gun??? That doesn't make a whole lot of good sense to me! If someone were to break in my home and threaten to kill me, I would use whatever was at hand to protect myself.

[Twisterdog]

Wow. Scary stuff.

If he only had one sexual charge on his record, I would think maybe there was a chance it wasn't what it seemed. There is a registered sex offender down the block from me. His girlfriend's parents pressed charges when they found out they were having sex, after letting them date for a year. He was 18, she was 16. Incredibly sad and unfair, IMO. But your neighbor doesn't seem to fit that pattern at all.

I'd be very cautious, friendly but not too friendly. Don't want the guy thinking you're buddies and dropping over, but you sure don't want to make him an enemy right off the bat, either.

And, honestly, how many of us have a criminal on our block right now, and don't know it? I'd say almost all of us.

[Lady's Human]

I'm confused!
You can't use wasp spray for self defense, but you can use a gun??? That doesn't make a whole lot of good sense to me! If someone were to break in my home and threaten to kill me, I would use whatever was at hand to protect myself.

Guns (hence bullets) have immediate effects. shoot perp, perp goes to ER, perp might live, might die, but the effects of gunshots are pretty well known and dealt with.

Wasp spray has some nasty chemicals in it. Long term medical effects are a crapshoot.

If someone attacked you in your garage and wasp spray happened to be what you had on hand, I don't think there would be any issues.

Someone attacks you in your kitchen, however, the question could be easily raised about why the wasp spray was in your kitchen.

Mace/pepper spray comes in small spray bottles designed for personal defense. (some of which shoot pretty far). Wasp Spray, however, is normally in a pretty unwieldy can.

[shais_mom]

I'm kind of along the lines of everyone else. No I certainly wouldn't move either!! And at this stage of the game are they really going to cut you a check b/c your property value might be lowered? umm Probably not!
Just keep on your guard, and be cautious. Keep the back door locked that the dogs use, and make sure your dad checks your window locks. Don't underestimate the power of the your dogs either. You know and I know they are uber friendly but HE doesn't know that. And you never know what they will do if you are threatened. I've always said that Keegan would open the door for them and keep it open wagging her tail all the way if it ever came up but now I'm not so sure. She is very protective of her area and home and my parents home. My dad's cousin was walking into their house one day and Dad was right behind him and Keegan met him at the door with her teeth bared and growling and snapping. Until my dad yelled "KEEGAN" and she realized he was with him, then she snapped out of it and started wagging her tail and wiggle butting around. When I was coming home from CA in 2006, my parents shed got broken into, and I think a lot more would have happened, if Keegan wouldn't have been there.
Several years ago when I had Shaianne who wouldn't hurt a fly, I was walking her down the sidewalk. I came upon 3-4 Hispanic men walking down the street. Now, I normally have a bit of anxiety when meeting ANY group of people on the street (middle of the day or whenever, especially men regardless of race) but I just kept walking Shaianne, and those men went single file by me, and kept their heads down and never even looked sideways in my direction. I don't know if its b/c she looked like a doberman, or was just an intimidating dog (she was a big greyhound) or simply b/c in this podunk town, God only knows what would happen if they were "caught", looking at a young woman by any of the local rednecks! Next time you are near your local truck stop, pick up a tire thumper,(similar to this http://www.medropship.com/images/07PETT1.jpg) keep one in your car and/or under your pillow/by your bed. I keep one in my car that's all decked out in the CHIEF REDMAN attire, ready for action. I need to get one for my house b/c God only knows what would happen if I got a gun! ;):p:rolleyes:

That said, missy, when's the PT meeting gonna be at your house?! That'll scare ANY sexual offender away!

[Queen of Poop]

Don't just read about self defence. See if you can find a women's self defence class. I did. It was fantastically empowering!!

I am surprised no one has mentioned this before, but maybe another dog? A bigger dog?

Be on your guard, keep your doors locked but don't be afraid in your own home. Take precautions but enjoy your new life. He seems to be setting a boundary for himself and not getting real close to you during your encounters. Ensure that is maintained, don't let him come any closer. You'll learn how to do that in the self defence class. What was truly funny in my class was a 60 year old woman was able to use just her voice to keep the "padded attacker" at bay, he couldn't get near her to grab her. She was hugely powerful just using her voice.

[shais_mom]

I am surprised no one has mentioned this before, but maybe another dog? A bigger dog?


it might not have been mentioned here - but it was when she posted this to facebook. She already has two dogs, both are good sized, yet skinny. Being a young, newly singleton, one income home-owner, a 3rd dog might not be in the financial cards, tho I'm sure Kimmie would love it! lol

[ramanth]

That said, missy, when's the PT meeting gonna be at your house?! That'll scare ANY sexual offender away!
LOL!!!

In the past Kia has growled at two men (strangers). But she also tucked tail and ran when my dad jumped out from behind a tree at a friend and I in the middle of the night. So I guess it'd be 50/50 with her.

I'd actually be more worried that someone would seriously hurt them if they did interfere.

Thanks again for all the feedback everyone.

I'm not going to quote everything, I'll just touch on some points.

I'm not out to make this guy's life a living hell. Frankly, he did that himself with the choices he made.

According to him, he's lived there 9 months (which I'm sure is the truth as it coincides with his parole date). Kids have been playing in the street and riding their bikes. As far as I can tell everyone on the block gets along and things do seem calm. The last thing I want to do is get on this guys bad side and stir a hornets nest.

I'm not sure what other neighbor he mows the lawn for. I'm not sure of the radius on his GPS ankle bracelet. He can obviously come onto my entire property without it going off.

I do not want to confront him unnecessarily. If he continues to keep to himself, all the better for me. But if he tries to cross a line, I'll let him know in no uncertain terms am I interested and that I'd like to be left alone.

As for the house, I'm locked in. It's a contract with the government (HUD). I must live in the house for one year. Can't be rented out. Can't be sold. After a year, I can do whatever I want with the house.

I'm not going to let him force me to move anyway. I like the house and I like the area. :)

He knows I have the dogs, but I never told him they were friendly. They look and act friendly, but he has no idea if they've been trained to attack. I'll keep it that way. And Staci is right, a third dog just isn't in the cards right now.

I plan on getting ahold of the parole officer and introducing myself and explaining how I've moved in and if there is anything I should be on watch for.

I'll look into self defense classes in the area. Many friends and my grandma recommended ADT so I'll give them a call as well and get an estimate.

[captain]

Kim,
Do a self defence class - I have been practising Martial Arts for over 25 years, and it becomes second nature - which is what you want.

I think if you keep your distance, and he is keeping his, things will work both ways.

AND

If you do have a PT gathering, invite Gini (and she can invite all the firemen she knows!!!) and Phred (who can do the same)

Hehehehehe

Take care
M

[caseysmom]

Just remember you pass these kind of people all the time and don't know it, one should always be aware and careful. It is creepy living next to him but hopefully he wouldn't want to risk his parole.

Tell him you have a boyfriend if it comes up and he lives there but he works odd hours or something, then he won't know when he is there.

[shais_mom]

if you do have a pt gathering, invite gini (and she can invite all the firemen she knows!!!) and phred (who can do the same)

hehehehehe

take care
m
i'm there!

[moosmom]

My friend rented her downstairs apartment to a woman and her daughter. My friend noticed that the mailman accidentally put mail for the tenant in her mailbox. Turned out the return address was from a maximum security prison. It seems the prisoner it was from, is the baby daddy. After doing a little background check, we find out he's a registered sex offender. She asked my friend if he could move in with them when he gets out of prison. I told her that unless her Mom wants her address listed as the home of a sex offender, the answer would be "oh hell no!!" She told her that her lease specifically states only she and her daughter are allowed to live in the apartment. There's been so much chaos going on, loud company, cigarette butts strewn all over the property, late rent, that her mother has decided not to renew her lease. Very wise on her part.

[pomtzu]

Leave things alone and don't stir up a hornet's nest. As long as he is living by the rules of his parole and "keeping his nose clean", then let him be. Just maybe he is trying to turn his life around, and as long as he isn't bothering or threatening anyone, what would be the point of making his life more difficult than it already is? Printing out his record and flaunting it in his face will serve no purpose at all, other than to inflame the situation. Let sleeping dogs lie. Only if he does step out of line, should you feel the need to take defensive action. JMHO of course.......

[Catty1]

I am SURE the neighbourhood already knows. He has kept his distance so far - and you are safe to keep yours.

Take all the normal precautions you would regarding locks, alarms, etc.

Although his crime was unspeakable, he is paying for it with a GPS bracelet - a life of distance from people. Imagine living with Big Brother on your ankle all your life.

Not making excuses for the guy - just that he has a life no on would envy. I hope he "recovers" - that is a horrible thing to live down and to get rid of.

[shais_mom]

Leave things alone and don't stir up a hornet's nest. As long as he is living by the rules of his parole and "keeping his nose clean", then let him be. Just maybe he is trying to turn his life around, and as long as he isn't bothering or threatening anyone, what would be the point of making his life more difficult than it already is? Printing out his record and flaunting it in his face will serve no purpose at all, other than to inflame the situation. Let sleeping dogs lie. Only if he does step out of line, should you feel the need to take defensive action. JMHO of course.......

I wish PET TALK had a LIKE or DISLIKE on here like Facebook does.
b/c I would LIKE this! I agree that printing out the info and flaunting it in his face is unnessary. Why try to start trouble where there isn't any? And then Kimmie will be branded as a $hit-stirrer, and she hasn't even hardly moved in yet!

[Karen]

I wish PET TALK had a LIKE or DISLIKE on here like Facebook does.
b/c I would LIKE this!

Oh, but Staci, we aren't as interested in collecting all your personal data and preferences for our own financial gain like Facebook is! I rarely "like" anything on Facebook, as the less anonymous entities know about me, the better!

[Cinder & Smoke]

Kim,
If you do have a PT gathering,
invite Gini (and she can invite all the firemen she knows!!!) and
Phred (who can do the same)


Ya want the TRUCKS, too ?

:D
:love:

[shais_mom]

Oh, but Staci, we aren't as interested in collecting all your personal data and preferences for our own financial gain like Facebook is! I rarely "like" anything on Facebook, as the less anonymous entities know about me, the better!

:confused::confused: ok.:confused::confused:
I belong to another forum that is vbulletin based and while they don't have like or dislike they have an option to "THANK" the previous poster for their post. I kind of like that too.

[pomtzu]

:confused::confused: ok.:confused::confused:
I belong to another forum that is vbulletin based and while they don't have like or dislike they have an option to "THANK" the previous poster for their post. I kind of like that too.

That's a good idea......:D

[caseysmom]

Leave things alone and don't stir up a hornet's nest. As long as he is living by the rules of his parole and "keeping his nose clean", then let him be. Just maybe he is trying to turn his life around, and as long as he isn't bothering or threatening anyone, what would be the point of making his life more difficult than it already is? Printing out his record and flaunting it in his face will serve no purpose at all, other than to inflame the situation. Let sleeping dogs lie. Only if he does step out of line, should you feel the need to take defensive action. JMHO of course.......

Couldn't agree more...printing it out and taking it to him has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

[pomtzu]

Couldn't agree more...printing it out and taking it to him has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Consider the source...........:eek:

[CountryWolf07]

Couldn't agree more...printing it out and taking it to him has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Agreed!

[Asiel]

Leave things alone and don't stir up a hornet's nest. As long as he is living by the rules of his parole and "keeping his nose clean", then let him be. Just maybe he is trying to turn his life around, and as long as he isn't bothering or threatening anyone, what would be the point of making his life more difficult than it already is? Printing out his record and flaunting it in his face will serve no purpose at all, other than to inflame the situation. Let sleeping dogs lie. Only if he does step out of line, should you feel the need to take defensive action. JMHO of course.......


My feelings exactly. Why in the world would anyone want to print out something as cruel as that and start a war in the neighbourhood. Now that would be asking for big trouble IMO . I agree, if the guy is trying to turn his life around this would certainly be counter productive.
Leave it alone but do keep your eyes open and be careful at all times , if he causes no trouble then you should be fine. Learn a few karate chops in case he does decide to pull a fast one :D

[Bonny]

I have to agree with Pomtzu leave well enough alone. The guy has to live with what he has done & sometimes people learn the hard way & turn their life around. Lets hope he is doing just that. I would still be cautious make sure you lock your doors, & windows, put in an alarm system if you can afford one ( I don't know what something like that would cost?) Make sure you have a contact tact person (someone you can call & they can be there for you if you need help) in case something would happen. Get to know your other neighbors too. Just be careful & play it safe. ;)

[Fett]

Make sure you have a contact tact person (someone you can call & they can be there for you if you need help) in case something would happen. Get to know your other neighbors too. Just be careful & play it safe. ;)

One of her cousins and her husband and kids lives like a mile away from her new house. That would be her closest contact person nearby.

[sparks19]

Couldn't agree more...printing it out and taking it to him has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

AGREED

WHAT on EARTH would that accomplish? Do you honestly think if he had ill intentions that your "threat" would SCARE him? and if he DID have ill intentions all that would do is put him on the defensive and likely make him angry.

YEAH great solution.

Leave well enough alone. He seems to be trying to keep his distance as far as no hand shaking and backing away from the door before you answer etc etc. He obviously thinks that you are already aware and he's on probation so it seems he's trying very hard to keep himself out of situations that could be misunderstood

As long as he leaves you alone then I would leave him alone. no need to start a war over it.

you know I always found it kind of funny that ANY thing classified as a sex crime is broadcast for the rest of your life but if you murder someone and don't get life in prison... no one KNOWS except your victims when you get out.

burglars.... robbery... assault (non sexual)... etc etc you aren't put on a list for everyone to know (as far as I know). only if you commit a sex crime. when all those people could do worse to you.

anyway... just leave him be unless he starts acting inappropriately but don't do what marigold suggested. that is the WORST thing you could do especially as a single female living alone.

[Puckstop31]

AGREED

WHAT on EARTH would that accomplish?

Either a $100,000 video for America's Funniest. (stupid women gets pwned by reality)

OR

A rather unnecessary obituary.

---

When confronted by a bear, the last thing one should do is poke it, unless you are prepared to kill the bear.

[Cataholic]

I don't like those lists. I don't like the mandatory classification or sentancing that goes along with it for some of the reasons listed already. I didn't read the conviction sheet, and even if I did, I doubt I would be able to positively comment on the charge and facts without reading MI's criminal code.

I think people should be smart, period. I would't invite an unknown male into my home, and probably wouldn't invite in unknown female into my home. I am talking about uninvited unknowns. If I called the roofer to give me a quote, that is different. I also wouldn't have children of parents that I didn't know into my home, either.

Our criminal justice system is set up so that once you have served your time, your debt to society is over. You are to have been rehabilitated. A second chance, a fresh start- whatever it is called. People that get these labels for the rest of their lives are subject to double jeopardy, in a way. They can't get a job, they are limited in where they live, the stigma follows them like no other crime. Heck, a murderer (not sexual) gets a fresher start than a sexual 'predator', someone that "raped" his girlfriend or wife.

I am in no way condoning ANY crime, and of course have a particular hate of crimes against children, women and animals. When you consider that most sexual predators or sexal crimes are those in which the victim and the accused shared a close relationship prior to the crime, I think random 'drive by' molestations are rare.

None of this means don't be smart. But, I would go about your business the same way you would with any 'stranger'.

[*LabLoverKEB*]

I agree 100% with those of you who think that printing out any information and waving it in his face is a horrible idea.... it is! That will solve absolutely nothing. It will only make Kimmy look like the 'bad guy' who is stirring the pot in her neighborhood, and nothing short of that.

Staci, how funny that you mentioned about having a "like" button here in PT!! I was actually thinking that just yesterday, and then started looking for it.:rolleyes::p Noo, I don't spend much time on Facebook, now why would you think that?!:p

[Marigold2]

I deleted my comment on this thread. Yes I had a different opinion then most people here. However I based that on life experience as most of us do. We react to things that impact our lives and that is exactly what I did. I don't feel there was a need for people to ridicule me or my opinion a simple "I don't agree" would have been enough.
I was also informed that people on my ignore list made snarky comments
:rolleyes: that is why they are on my list and I do not comment on their threads or when I see them posting. I just go do other things. I had hoped it would be the same instead they seem to enjoy stiring the pot. Sad!
It would be nice to voice different opinons here but I find that becoming more and more difficult and it saddens me,

[pomtzu]

I was also informed that people on my ignore list made snarky comments
:rolleyes: that is why they are on my list and I do not comment on their threads or when I see them posting. I just go do other things. I had hoped it would be the same instead they seem to enjoy stiring the pot. Sad!
It would be nice to voice different opinons here but I find that becoming more and more difficult and it saddens me,

If you have informers, then why not just take "whoever" off ignore, and read it first hand??? :rolleyes:

And if you don't "comment on their threads" or "when you see them posting", then they must not really be on ignore anyway, since you wouldn't be able to "see" them if they were. Gotcha.....:D

I don't have anyone on ignore, in spite of the fact that I was told by a certain member in a PM, to put her on ignore, at which time I responded back that I don't take orders from the likes of her. :mad:

Have a wonderful day..........



ETA - right back at ya' with:
And a simple "I deleted my comment on this thread", would have been enough. The rest was just stirring the pot. Sad.

[Catty1]

Marigold...for ramanth to have a sheet of the offender's record and shaking it in his face would have stirred up sh** that was stirred up and settled long ago, in court. He is not alone, there is an older man there (his dad?).

Given his backing away from her etc, he is very aware of what to do and not to do...and he has the GPS bracelet. I think that's enough.

[caseysmom]

When the advice would put a dear pettalk friend in danger I will speak up...end of story.

[Cinder & Smoke]

I deleted my comment on this thread.


:eek:
*Imagine* That, would ya?

:rolleyes:
:(

[Whisk_Luva]

And if you don't "comment on their threads" or "when you see them posting", then they must not really be on ignore anyway, since you wouldn't be able to "see" them if they were. Gotcha.....:D


Just to say, you can still see if someone has posted when they are on ignore, you just can't see what they said... if you look on a thread they posted on, it will have the name of the poster and then a message underneath which says something like 'this person is on ignore' (and blocks out what they said).. I can't remember exactly what it says but you get the point. I think what Monica is getting at is if she saw a thread was started by someone she has on ignore, she wouldn't reply to it- and you CAN see the thread titles and who they are by etc even with the person on ignore.

[pomtzu]

Whisk - I know that, but it wasn't my interpretation of what was written. Perhaps I was mistaken. :(

[Cataholic]

Pom- you weren't mistaken. It was one of those, "oops" moments by Marigold.

I can't imagine having some snitch (though I can guess who it is, LOL) tell me what someone I am supposedly on "ignore" with said. Talk about stirring the pot!

And, strangely enough, I, too, had someone demand I put them on ignore, and they would do the same. Think it was the same person?????

[caseysmom]

Pom- you weren't mistaken. It was one of those, "oops" moments by Marigold.

I can't imagine having some snitch (though I can guess who it is, LOL) tell me what someone I am supposedly on "ignore" with said. Talk about stirring the pot!

And, strangely enough, I, too, had someone demand I put them on ignore, and they would do the same. Think it was the same person?????

Ditto...think I listened to the demand:p

[Asiel]

Pom- you weren't mistaken. It was one of those, "oops" moments by Marigold.

I can't imagine having some snitch (though I can guess who it is, LOL) tell me what someone I am supposedly on "ignore" with said. Talk about stirring the pot!

And, strangely enough, I, too, had someone demand I put them on ignore, and they would do the same. Think it was the same person?????


Gee, I thought I was the only one who got the same demand to put them on ignore..I wonder who that leaves with permission to post. :eek: My response was much the same as Pom's. Thought maybe someone had appointed a new mayor to the forum with such a demand ;)

[Cataholic]

I hope no one felt offended when they learned they weren't the only one!!

[Whisk_Luva]

Pom- you weren't mistaken. It was one of those, "oops" moments by Marigold.

I can't imagine having some snitch (though I can guess who it is, LOL) tell me what someone I am supposedly on "ignore" with said. Talk about stirring the pot!

And, strangely enough, I, too, had someone demand I put them on ignore, and they would do the same. Think it was the same person?????

I am not sure if you are refering to me as the snitch seeming I have tried to back up Monica a few times in previous threads, or the person who told you to put them on ignore or something (I don't really know what you are all talking about at the moment to be honest), but I thought I would just make sure I was not being accused of this because I had nothing to do with it.

[Cataholic]

WL, I am accusing you of nothing.

[Catty1]

On a post where the person is on Ignore, there is a "view post" added so you can see the actual post without taking the person off Ignore.

[Catlady711]

off the rabbit track and back to the topic at hand....

I would just be normally cautious as you normally would with strangers, and don't encourage or initiate conversation if you get a 'creepy' feeling around the neighbors.

I live right across the street from a guy that's on one of those sex offender lists. I forget what the actual sentence is but it doesn't really affect me. He's rarely out and about when I am, and when he does happen by his conversations are fairly brief and he's on his way. Heck my hubby even sold a gun to him at one of our garage sales. :p We've been here almost 12 years. As long as he minds his own business, I'll do the same. There's another one down the road a bit but I've never met him so he's never been a problem or fear either.

If you feel uncomfortable with it, speak to your realator about disclosure about it. If that gets nowhere and you wish to pursue it you might make a consultation appt. with a lawyer to see if it's required by law to disclose that before a home sale.

[shais_mom]

after reading all the replies I have to sit down now b/c i'm dizzy.
and
Phred
I had the SAME THOUGHT!

[pomtzu]

Pom- you weren't mistaken. It was one of those, "oops" moments by Marigold.


In all truthfulness - I was being facetious...:eek::p

[Cataholic]

In all truthfulness - I was being facetious...:eek::p

In all truthfulness, I nude that. :D

[ramanth]

I'm back from vacation and catching up.

Deep breathes everyone. :D

I'm not knocking on my neighbors door waving a flyer in his face. Not gonna happen. I am not about to stir s@%$. :)

When I got to the campground my dad asked me at dinner if I was gonna let the neighbor mow my lawn again. I replied, "About that..." and brought them up to speed.

Seeing as dad has met the guy (albiet briefly), he feels the guy is just trying to be neighborly but sides with me if I don't want the guy coming around anymore. Which I don't. More so because the guy is not insured or bonded to do yardwork and if he hurts himself on my property I could get screwed royally.

Mom suggested I have my cousin (Police Officer) stop by to visit me and see the house. Perhaps seeing a guy in uniform will keep the neighbor at bay.

I stopped by the house twice (once before vacation and today) and there were no veggies to be seen.

[Catlady711]

I stopped by the house twice (once before vacation and today) and there were no veggies to be seen.


I'm normally a skeptic about people I don't know, however in this case it's possible your neighbor is using someone else's garden to plant the veggies in. The only reason I suggest that is one of our few good neighbors wanted to plant some Roma Tomatoes for a few years and couldn't at his place. I offered him a space in our garden. He planted, picked, and tended his own section of the garden so I didn't have to mess with it. You could always ask where his veggies are if you're curious and just see what he says and how he acts about being questioned about it.

[ramanth]

Catlady, I know the veggies are from his garden. I can see it in his backyard. He was planting it when my dad and I visited the property prior to buying and I've seen him picking the veggies when I was at the house cleaning. :)

[shais_mom]

I'm normally a skeptic about people I don't know, however in this case it's possible your neighbor is using someone else's garden to plant the veggies in. The only reason I suggest that is one of our few good neighbors wanted to plant some Roma Tomatoes for a few years and couldn't at his place. I offered him a space in our garden. He planted, picked, and tended his own section of the garden so I didn't have to mess with it. You could always ask where his veggies are if you're curious and just see what he says and how he acts about being questioned about it.

I think she meant that they hadn't left any veggies for her. :)


kimmie - make sure you cousin comes in his cruiser! when are you moving?

[Fett]

Agreed. It sounds like a great plan to have your cousin come over with the patrol car and hang out in the front yard chit chatting with you (hopefully when the neighbor is home). Then later on if the neighbor asks what the police were doing there, you can just say "Oh, that's my cousin." That alone might make him think twice about trying anything.

[ramanth]

Yep, I meant no veggies left for me on the porch while I've been away.

Mom was going to ask if Don would stop by in the cruiser. :) It'll be a few weeks before I move Staci. I want to get most, if not all, of the house painted before I move in.

[Fett]

I want to get most, if not all, of the house painted before I move in.

....and better security around the windows. ;)

[Catlady711]

I think she meant that they hadn't left any veggies for her. :)



Yeah I see that now. I guess I misunderstood the sentence. Sorry.:p

[shais_mom]

Yeah I see that now. I guess I misunderstood the sentence. Sorry.:p

;) no apologies necessary! :)

[ramanth]

I'm going to be priming and painting this weekend, so I guess we'll see if the neighbor stops by with more veggies or asking to mow the lawn again.

[caseysmom]

Don't let this dampen the excitement of your new home...it will be okay just don't let your guard down.

[pomtzu]

I'm going to be priming and painting this weekend, so I guess we'll see if the neighbor stops by with more veggies or asking to mow the lawn again.

He probably wants no trouble as much as you do. Call it a gut feeling, but I don't think he'll ever bother you inappropriately.