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Louie and me
08-03-2010, 02:27 PM
Don't shoot me because I'm Canadian. We do the same things except drug stores no longer sell cigarettes.

Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Only in America...... do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


Only in America...... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


Only in America ......... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


Only in America...... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

cassiesmom
08-03-2010, 02:35 PM
Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Guilty as charged :o

happylabs
08-03-2010, 02:51 PM
LOL...my favotites:

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

AND

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

:D :D :D

pomtzu
08-03-2010, 02:53 PM
LOL - loved them all. But I especially liked the ones about:

Mouse flavored cat food :D

Doctors "practice" :eek:

Mascara - open mouth ;)

Lethal injections :confused:

Puckstop31
08-03-2010, 02:59 PM
Hey... I just don't like regular pop. LOL

Karen
08-03-2010, 03:04 PM
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Because both are signs of damage, but at least we can chop off the damaged hair!



Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Lemon juice is a good strong acid, maybe be the artificial stuff is less acidic?



Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Because the marketing is pitched toward humans - they who buy the stuff!




Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Either it is by force of habit, or there are too many lawyers involved and no one wants to be sued!



Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

The wool changes texture, and gets denser, and smells like wet wool! It's just that the sheep are filling out the wool, the same way if you were wearing a wool sweater, and got wet, but kept it on until it was dry, it wouldn't shrink as much! But I'm terribly allergic to it, so don't ask me to try that experiment!



If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


because English is nothing if not fun with all its homonyms!

Lady's Human
08-03-2010, 04:46 PM
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Most definitely.

lizbud
08-03-2010, 06:07 PM
This one, I've always wondered about.:)

Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

RICHARD
08-03-2010, 08:34 PM
Why do Canadians have Boxing Day and no one fights?

Why are some parts of the Great White North green?

Why is Canada Dry when they have so much ice?

Where is Canada Dry bottled?

Why are there only three downs and a 20 yard deep end zone in Canadian
Football?

Why the Loonie and not a Roadrunner, Big Bird or a Woody Woodpecker on the coins?

-----------------


WHY????

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tonic_water_uv.jpg

Freedom
08-03-2010, 09:10 PM
Thank you for a good chuckle as I get ready for bed tonight!