Thursdays #385 Patriotic Punsters!!!

[Lady's Human]

Richard is off on a week of mandated vacation.

He's only allowed to be a guest in the bar.

Being that the shortest path between two puns is......(drum roll, please)

A Straight line


(You can stop groaning now)

And there are 13 straight lines in the flag, it's going to be a punny Fourth.

Don't care if they're canned or original.

The menu? A clambake, of course, and being that it's Thursdays, I can ACTUALLY HAVE LOBSTAH!@

The DOTD is simple, Sam Adams. Could be John Adams, but that would be a short shot.

Can't have a Thomas Jefferson, that'd be too long a draft.

On that note, PUN AWAY!

[Lady's Human]

I almost forgot, Blueberry cake and coffee ring for dessert.

No eggs Benedict in the bar, we booted his butt back to England (I know, that's just Tory-ble)

[davidpizzica]

Aw, C'mon, LH! Quit egging me on! A BIG mug of coffee for me and I'll dive into that coffee ring. Today I think I'll dig out my dvd copy of "1776" and watch it.

[Puckstop31]

A Washington Apple? Or is that too tall an order?

A John Jay? Or is that for the birds?


How about a Gen. Greene? Or would that cause to much envy?


---

Cut me off before they boo me out. LOL

[RICHARD]

Lobster,

Can I have a giant serving, or do I have to check the claws in my contract?

lolololol;)

[Catherinedana]

If you toss a serving of that deep-sea crustacean over to me, does that make YOU the lob-ster?

:( Ouch

[lvpets2002]

:) Yum Lobster with BlueBerry Cake please.. Yes of course LIT too please.. Where is Orc?? Orc Orc come on & tend the bar.. Cant never find that boy when their is work to be done..:rolleyes::p
Lobster,

Can I have a giant serving, or do I have to check the claws in my contract?

lolololol;)

[davidpizzica]

Do you want me to round up Orc and get the ceement mixer going? He might be in a "remote" place!!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Speaking of something phunny: I heard on the news about some US flags that were made in China recently. Seems they have 61 stars and it took a while for anyone to notice. That's what they get for letting our flags be make out of the USA. :D

No seafood for me please. I don't care for it. But I'd love some blueberry cake. :D

[Lady's Human]

Coffee does have a ring to it, David, there ya go.

Coffee with a brown ring on the side. You don't even have to spill it to stain the table!

A Washington Apple is a tall order, but they just have no bite.

Richard, there's no claws in your contract, but there are lots of tails.......

With or without butter?

BTW, Doesn't matter who the lob-ster is, as long as they're not the ones getting steamed.

Orc is out this week, he saw what I was cooking and worried that they might be relatives. He was gone faster than light...........relatively speaking.

MOFF here's your blueberry cake. We know Pres. Obama didn't sign that contract, otherwise there'd be 57 stars, not 61.

[Bonny]

Punxsutawney Bill got chased into the utility mule by the dogs & I drove part way home & locked the dogs up. I even lifted the box in the back so he/she would leave. I have checked two times now & Punxsutawney is still sitting in the under carriage. :eek: So while I am patiently waiting could you mix me up a nice cold glass of MILK.:D in a patriotic glass with red, white, & blue stars on it? :cool:

[lvpets2002]

:eek: OMG you have got to be kidding me.. UUmmppss Yes how to phunny..
Speaking of something phunny: I heard on the news about some US flags that were made in China recently. Seems they have 61 stars and it took a while for anyone to notice. That's what they get for letting our flags be make out of the USA. :D

No seafood for me please. I don't care for it. But I'd love some blueberry cake. :D

[RICHARD]

No seafood for me please. I don't care for it. But I'd love some blueberry cake. :D

I was on a seefood diet for a long time.

I'd see it until it disappeared right under my nose!:eek:;)

[lvpets2002]

:p Yups I know thats one too.. SeeFood for some more fish & LIT please.. Yes David its time to round up the Orc & get the mixer a going..:D
I was on a seefood diet for a long time.

I'd see it until it disappeared right under my nose!:eek:;)

[Catty1]

Sore throat today. Waah. OK, I will clam up now.

Need something soothing on the throat...sort of like caffe latte shake without the actual dairy in it. What would you recommend, Dr Barkeep?

[RICHARD]

Sore throat today. Waah. OK, I will clam up now.

Need something soothing on the throat...sort of like caffe latte shake without the actual dairy in it. What would you recommend, Dr Barkeep?

I can only suggest about your order is this..

You Moos, you lose!:eek::rolleyes::o

Oh,

That is more that I can beer....:o

Wah wah waaaaaah!

[slick]

I'm on a seafood diet - the more I see food the more I eat.
Hardy, har, har. Orange you glad I told that? :D:D
I admit, not the best but the best I can do from w-u-r-k.

I need something warm please. Maybe I nice pot of jasmine tea. Yesterday everyone was joking that it was warmer during the Olympics. :rolleyes:

[Lady's Human]

Slick, one nice pot of jasmine tea? Why certainly. O r was that a jasmine of Pot tea?

Catty, a Cafe Latte shake without the dairy? Hmmmm, wonder how soy milk would work for that? Cafe no moo?

Sorry, guys, just woke up and the caffeine hasn't even been brewed yet, there's too much blood in my caffeine system.

[Catty1]

Yes, caffe latte soy sans moo shake would be great. I am awake again now, having napped and read almost all day. It's been a quiet day, and yet my ears are ringing. That shake will set things right! :)

[RICHARD]

Can I have a beer, a Corona?


LOL, I'll never get used to this.....:D

[Karen]

Can I have a beer, a Corona?


LOL, I'll never get used to this.....:D


Hey, I can get one of those for you! Unlike the Orc, I can read!

[Lady's Human]

http://www.phys.ncku.edu.tw/~astrolab/mirrors/apod_e/image/9909/corona99_espanek_big.jpg


There ya go, Richard, one corona!

[Lady's Human]

Just re-reading some Revolutionary War history.

People think McChrystal has an ego problem? They need to revisit Charles Lee.

In the meantime, I'll take a large Irish. Anyone else want some?

[RICHARD]

Just re-reading some Revolutionary War history.

People think McChrystal has an ego problem? They need to revisit Charles Lee.

In the meantime, I'll take a large Irish. Anyone else want some?

I'll join you, Let me get a hammer and nails?

oh.....:rolleyes::)

[Lady's Human]

:p

You never did take the offered corona.

And here I went 93 million miles to get it for ya!

[RICHARD]

:p

You never did take the offered corona.

And here I went 93 million miles to get it for ya!

Uneasy is the head that wears the 'crown'-Wait was that "Big Head" Joke?:D

I don't know how to act on THIS side of the counter.


I'll drink it for breakfast, it's Sunday!


Thank you, sir!:D

[Lady's Human]

Happy Birthday to LOH.

I broke my word........she's 41 and we're still married!

[Puckstop31]

Just re-reading some Revolutionary War history.

People think McChrystal has an ego problem? They need to revisit Charles Lee.

In the meantime, I'll take a large Irish. Anyone else want some?

LOL. I would have fired him after the disasters at Fort Lee and Fort Washington. "Lets defend an undefendable position against the best Army in the world with a de-moralized and unprepared force... Because my name is on the fort."

Then there was Monmouth. Which is what you are probably talking about. :)


It's hot today... But I will still be patriotic about it. Sam Adams Summer Ale please!

[Lady's Human]

Actually I was referring to all of the above. THe man's ego was the size of the Louisiana Purchase.

One Sam's summer ale. DONE!

[Lady'sOtherHuman]

Happy Birthday to LOH.

I broke my word........she's 41 and we're still married!

I told him he'd never be rid of me.:p

[cassiesmom]

I'm on a seafood diet - the more I see food the more I eat.
Hardy, har, har. Orange you glad I told that? :D:D
I admit, not the best but the best I can do from w-u-r-k.

I need something warm please. Maybe I nice pot of jasmine tea. Yesterday everyone was joking that it was warmer during the Olympics. :rolleyes:

Orange I glad to be working today.

Could I please have Labatt's Blue? I'll drink it after work ;)

[Lady'sOtherHuman]

I figured I needed to pay for my drink before I order it. So here it is:

back to list of puns


A Typical Gnu
Submitted by Kayla Boettcher

On July 4th, 2007, Ferdinand Feghoot addressed the D.A.R.'s National Convention, hastily substituting for Robert A. Heinlein, who had been delayed on the Moon. Not knowing that his audience had expected a more appropriate theme, he spoke on the many new nations of Africa. "And in conclusion," he remarked, "I must mention the fascinating Republic of Gnus. We all know how, after the African bomb tests, the intelligence of the gnus suddenly rose to the human level, and they organized and were admitted to the U.N. We know about their already great contributions to speculative philosophy and the arts of government. But few of us are aware of their tragedy -- for the gnus soon learned they had no aesthetic sense whatsoever. This made them feel deeply inferior. After years of searching, they shouted with joy when a young male showed signs of a singular genius for arranging glazed ceramic squares in pleasing patterns which were then made permanent with cement. They asked me to examine this prodigy, and I gave him every imaginable test. But he was not truly talented. It was sad indeed that I rendered my verdict -- "
At this point, the President General leaned over to say that he should at least end his speech patriotically. "A simple slogan will suffice, dear Mr. Feghoot," she whispered.
" -- Typical gnu and tiler too!" shouted Ferdinand Feghoot.

Insert groans here.:D Barkeep may I have a Sam Adams Summer Ale

[Lady's Human]

Well, on a somewhat different note, clam fritters and french fries with cole slaw at the bar!

Anyone want some?

(And Boston Cream Pie for dessert for someone's birthday cake)

No, Orc, it's not a fire, it's just the CAKE!!!!!!

PUT DOWN THAT FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Karen]

Been a long time since I had coleslaw in real life, I'll have some, and clam fritters, too! And a large glass of lemonade, please!

[Lady's Human]

Coleslaw, fritters, and a minute maid lemonade comin atcha!

[Lady's Human]

http://lowgicooking.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/cake-with-candles-burning.jpg

Ran outta room fer da candles.

Did someone turn off the smoke detectors and sprinkler system?

:eek:

[Lady's Human]

If it's in mid july
And it's hot and it's dry
Have some more-ade.....

[Karen]

Nice cake - we turned off the smoke detectors in this pace the first time Orc stoked the fire a tad too enthusiastically!

[Catty1]

"gnu and tiler too"...I don't get it...:confused:

[Lady'sOtherHuman]

"gnu and tiler too"...I don't get it...:confused:
I can explain it but I'll get the names wrong. Maybe I'll get LH to explain it.

[Karen]

It's the political slogan from the 1840 Presidential election won by William Henry Harrison -

Tippecanoe and Tyler, too!

William Henry Harrison was the hero of the Battle of Tippecanoe and John Tyler was his Vice President

Something LOH might not know - our family had a connection to this election and campaign! An ancestor of ours (y'know, Lady's Human and mine) was responsible for dyeing the fabric for Harrison's suit for his inauguration. Any history buffs know, though, that Harrison had a very short Presidency ...

"After giving the longest inauguration speech (about 1 hour, 45 minutes - in the freezing cold and rain) in U.S. history, Harrison served only one month as president before dying of pneumonia on April 4, 1841."

[Pinot's Mom]

Well, on a somewhat different note, clam fritters and french fries with cole slaw at the bar!

Anyone want some?

(And Boston Cream Pie for dessert for someone's birthday cake)



ACK! I missed this yesterday! Any left? I do miss clam fritters!

[caseysmom]

I have never had one but I would love to try one with a bloody mary...I am on this darned bloody mary kick!

[Lady's Human]

There's plenty of leftover fritter makings.

A fresh batch of fritters, and a bloody mary to wash em down!

DONE!

There's plenty of Boston cream pie left as well, but it's nice and frozen now.

[pomtzu]

ACK! I missed this yesterday! Any left? I do miss clam fritters!

Me too - but I've got what's supposed to be the original recipe for Rocky Point Clam Cakes if you want it. My brother and I have both made them, and darned if they don't taste like the original thing! :D

[Karen]

Me too - but I've got what's supposed to be the original recipe for Rocky Point Clam Cakes if you want it. My brother and I have both made them, and darned if they don't taste like the original thing! :D

Cool - you should share the recipe - maybe over in the Recipe Thread (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=16188)?

[Pinot's Mom]

I'll look for the recipe over there! Thanks!

Meantime, can I dip into the kiddie pool full of iced tea? I'm kind of dragging and need some caffeine.

[Lady's Human]

Just grab a straw. we've been keepin it full....the seement mixer works for more than just slushies!

[pomtzu]

Cool - you should share the recipe - maybe over in the Recipe Thread (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=16188)?

Sure thing. I'll dig it out of my recipe file and post there, and update here to let you know when it's done.

Now I'm hungry for clam cakes. Haven't made any in about a year..........:p;):D

[pomtzu]

Cool - you should share the recipe - maybe over in the Recipe Thread (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=16188)?

Done. See post #472 in recipe thread. :)

[Karen]

Done. See post #472 in recipe thread. :)

I did, they look yummy, if only my allergy doc hadn't cautioned me to "be careful" around clams (fish and shrimp allergy present, so ...) and as I am currently dealing with some new food allergy, I'm holding off on eating anything different than the basics - wheat, dairy, lettuce, tomatoes, poultry ...

[RICHARD]

The weather out here has been overcast with sprinkles in the morning...
kinda clammy?:rolleyes::D

[Lady's Human]

Keep it up and you'll be abalone at the bar.

[Lady's Human]

The other half just warned me that if there are any more puns like that she'll kick my bass.


I suppose I otter stop now.

[RICHARD]

The other half just warned me that if there are any more puns like that she'll kick my bass.


I suppose I otter stop now.

Afraid she'll PUN-t you like a foot ball?:p:D


Can I please get a beer before my vacay runs out? Any brew will do.

[Lady's Human]

ANY brew will do?

Careful, you might get a strange brew.

I'll be nice though, and give you a Sam Adams.

[RICHARD]

I'll be nice though, and give you a Sam Adams.

http://i.cnn.net/si/2003/football/nfl/09/07/bc.fbn.patriots.bills.ap/lg_adams_all.jpg

now what?:D:eek::)

[Puckstop31]

Good Brew?

Victory 'Hop Wallop'. WAY hoppy. Plus, any beer where there is a Hillbilly on the label HAS to be good.

If you like Bavarian style HOPPY Ales... It's for you.

9/10. :)