I Hate my Life

[FloppsyLadySally54]

Hi guess what I am now going through a big depression so do not be alarmed if I do not come on for months at a time as you may have noticed I am only posting on and off because I realy don't feel like it and I know kids cannot have depressions, only growing pains but this is a real depression and no I will and am not seeing a shrink because it is my problem and not theirs. Well it all started how I was averaging together my science quizzes, and I found out I had a 74 average in science. Now that is really bad for me because my mom expects me to be a good student while all I want to do is art. That was during the Pep Rally ( a celebration our school has every year). And then before that I was even more upset because this girl was sitting in front of me and I accidently hit her with the pom-poms we had gotten to route for our teams and I said sorry and she got sooo pissed and when it was time to cheer again she was waving her pom-pom so violently and was whacking me with it and it hurt really bad and my friends stuck up for me because I was ready to cry becfause it hurt REALLY BAD I am not a baby it just hurt a lot because she used the stick part and not the streamer part. And then they got in this whole fight which ended in me being called an a** hole when all I did was accidently hit her. Then I figured out my science grade and our team was losing so I was just so mad I sat down and never got up and I looked so sad my friends said and everyone thought I was crazy because while everyone else was cheering I was just sitting there like a loser and usually I would care but not this time. Then when it was over because we lost the principal made us get out last and then we went to our science teacher andI asked him if there was any way we could make up for our grades like extra credit or something but he said no and I asked him if I really got a 74 and he said yeah and laughed in my face and we got so mad we threw our pom-poms at him and told him he was a horrible teacher and he didn't care he just walked away. Then we went to our French teacher and threw our backpacks on the ground and he talked to us and was really nice and told us to keep our hopes up and stuff and then we left and kicked our pom-poms around and then I got in the car and right away admitted I got a 74 average and she got so mad and since my sister's team had won the pep rally she was waving pom-poms in my face and telling me how much I suck and stuff and then I was miserable and I got an e-mail from my friend saying she couldnt come to my sisters party and my mom got mad and didnt believe her excuse so she banned me from going to her party to get back at her and I was so depressed that I just ran in my room and wrote a 7-page story about my dream life. Then I sketched some more dragons and dogs and stuff and finally came out and tried to call my friend but her caller ID required me to identify myself so I did and it hung up on me so I just went back on here and now I am soooo depressed. I was so happy in the beginning of the day because my art teacher had told me she had shown my artwork to the other art teacher and the other classes and she said they all loved it and I was so happy because that is the second time she has shown my artwork to other people and it felt real good:D . Anyway, just telling you of my miserable life. Have a nice day and sorry I took up so much room with my stupid story.

[Kfamr]

I read a little of your story... I didn't read it all, only because i don't feel like reading sob stories [although it may not be that, oh well] I know how you feel about art. I am constantly doodle-ing on my homework papers, or drawing something. I bring my projects for art class home, only because i enjoy it so much. I see you're the same way. Except, you have to understand your academic classes are more important. No matter how much you love art, you should concentrate on your other subjects first, and save art time for art class. i abosolutely love art. My teacher is my favorite teacher. She's always holding my artwork up saying something like "this is what yours should look like by now". Everyone fools around in my class so it gives me disadvantages because we don't do some of the projects other classes do. That's why i take my lunch time to go into the art room, and do what the other classes are doing, so it's like i have two art classes a day. Trust me, you'll want to do thebest you can in your other classes because if not you'll find yourself in summer school or some kind of other classes where they "help" you.

Don't say you hate your life. I understand how it is to feel as if you hate your life. Last year i used to cry myself to sleep everynight [geez now you're going to see how muhc of a physco i am] To stop from crying and feeling down, Do something you like... like Art. -=D I always write when im down.

I dunno if this has helped you any, or you got any of my words, but try hard in your other classes. What grade are you in, 8th?

74 average is not bad at all. Try having a 21% F in math class, far in the last semester. I worked all i could, and eventually pulled my F up to a C. Passing.

Don't worry aobut the people calling you names. Just remember, they are the ones who were at fault. Maybe she wasn't hitting you on purpose.

Your mom seems like the type i'd like to smack. :o
Maybe talk to her about stuff, and how you are feeling though.

Overall, Keep your head up, and smile.

[lizbud]

WHEW !!!!!!!!

Go easy on the sugars young lady.:D

[Desert Arabian]

I almost died of lack of air, because I couldn't stop to breathe, since there were no periods in the worlds longest run on sentence. I only read about two "sentences" and said "Ok, thats enough for me." My grandma does crap like this 24/7- so I am sick of listening to stories like this (no offense).

You are still a kid!! GIVE UP THE B.S. ABOUT LIFE SUCKING! You haven't even experienced half of your life yet. You got to live your life day by day. Whatever happens- happens, thats the way its supposed to be. Life is not all fun and games. Sorry for not posting a post full of hope and optimism-but those are the facts.

[Karen]

I always did well in art class, I even went to college for art, and am employed in that field. But I had to work hard in my other classes as well. 7th grade is no time to slack off at any given subject. You vaccilate between saying you get all A's and then this, saying you are going to be a veterinarian, then complaining about your science classes ... which is why you need to try hard in all your classes. You are 12, and have a long life ahead of you! School is not just a waste of time, it's the only period of your life that you get to devote to the education that you will need to do well for the rest of it.

It is NOT true that "kids cannot have depression." Clinical depression is an illness that can strike pre-teens and teens as well as adults, and should be treated seriously. That said, you may be just upset right now, which is quite different from clinical depression. There are many resources on the web for depression.

If you are having trouble in your science class, ask your teacher for extra help. If he refuses, ask another teacher, another science teacher or even a teacher you had last year. Don't give up because of one teacher!

In 7th grade, you should be a generalist, wait a few years before you specialize in any one area to the detriment of others, okay?

[Rottieluver45]

Seventh grade science is ALWAYS hard!Last year was mt 7th grade ear I didn`t pass science @ all,no one six weeks!But I still went on b/c I did good on my TASS! So take it easy! Science is really hard!

[slleipnir]

You are still a kid!! GIVE UP THE B.S. ABOUT LIFE SUCKING
I'm not sure how old you are, but being a young person isn't as easy now a days as people think. So many ppl are damn immature and make other people feel worthless. We might not have to worry about paying bills or working, but theirs school work, peer pressure etc. Or maybe you just had a better childhood, I know theres a lot of times I feel like giving up - its' tough

Personally, I think you should consentrate on your other subjects right now, and after school, if art is what you want to do, then go for it! But right now, you need an education to get there.0


I almost died of lack of air, because I couldn't stop to breathe, since there were no periods in the worlds longest run on sentence. I only read about two "sentences" and said "Ok, thats enough for me." My grandma does crap like this 24/7- so I am sick of listening to stories like this (no offense).
No offence, but if you don't want to listen to it, then don't read it. I think everyone has a right to express themselves, and maybe she feels like is a great place for ppl to listen and understand her. I don't mean to be rude, but thats how I feel, please don't take that the wrong way :[

[Kfamr]

As i remember.... 7th grade science... it was easy, maybe just because it was Earth science... that's why i liked it so much.. Aniamals and such... 6th grade was hard for me, i failed 6th grade science.... got A's in 8th grade science.. cause i started concentrating more.

[Soledad]

At the age of 12 you are going through some strong emotional times. I remember that I was always upset, angry or sad when I was 13. In my case, it wasn't so much depression as it was raging hormones. But Karen is right, depression can strike at any age. There are studies showing that even babies and infant can suffer from it. There are ways you can find out if you are suffering from it online. And therapists are there to help other people's problems, no one does it alone.

When you're the age you are, people think your life is so easy and free of responsibility. But I remember feeling very strongly about things and feeling lots of pressures that I still feel today. The thing is that as you get older you stress about different things.

I think the biggest thing I've learnt as an adult is to simply let go of what I cannot control. You can't control that other girl's behaviour, you can only act in a way that's true to you. As you grow, you will find yourself caring less and less about what others think of you. There's only so much you can do about it.

I loved art in school and in HS took every single art class available. I went to university and majored in it. However, art is amazing to me because you can find it in everything. Look at Leonardo da Vinci, not only a great artist but an engineer, scientist and mathematician. The best artists are the ones who can see that art is in everything. Science is amazingly beautiful and inspiring for art. I used to do anatomical drawings for science projects, and my teachers loved it. If you really love art, you'll find ways of incorporating it into other subjects. You are young, and you should not limit your choices yet. There is still so much to learn and be amazed by.

I would ignore some of the less compassionate posts on here. Everyone deals with stress, depression and anger differently.

[RockyRoad]

The strange thing is that I have never done well in science. I am doing A OK in the rest of my subjects except science. My teacher...ugh...I just feel like walking up to him and kicking him. All my other teachers are awesome except him. I think he has a personality problem. You think he is nice at first, but then when you get to know him he is such a jerk!! Anyway, he does give extra help in the morning only, and I am not a morning person. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. I do not want to be in science workshop, I think it is for people who really need it and I know if I try hard I can do good. I swear though I am still mad and upset and it has been at least six hours. I am sitting here looking at a picture I drew of a dragon (which I drew during French class) and wondering if I stop concentrating on art as much, if I would do better and if my art grade would decrease. It would be too much to risk my art grade since then I would get so much more depressed. But on the other hand I would have more time for science. Well, it is a tough decision. I'm glad I chose this message board to complain on instead of any other. :)

[lizbud]

" I almost died of lack of air, because I couldn't stop to breathe, since there were no periods in the worlds longest run on sentence. I only read about two "sentences" and said "Ok, thats enough for me." As quoted from YellowLabLover's post.

I know what you mean, I literally held my breath, but only
for so long. There was no end to the thought....

I did have similar angst when I was that age. I turned to
poetry as a release for my emotions. There was no internet
back in the dark ages... If it helps you to post "stream of
consciousness" type of thoughts, then do it.
:)

[Soledad]

School is full of teachers with different personalities and different styles. Consider it a training ground for how to deal with different kinds of people in life. It won't be any different when you're not in school. You'll have nice bosses and crappy ones. School is just a test to see how you deal with the pressures of having difficult supervisors.

My favorite teacher is one who everyone thought was mean. I liked her because she expected more out of us than other teachers. She didn't do us any extra favors, and the grade you got was the grade you got. She was preparing us for reality, no one gets to do extra credit at work to make up for a bad performance. Try to think of this teacher and this class as a challenge. Take that anger towards him and channel it into doing better and "showing him up". He wants you to prove him wrong, so do it. You know you can.

[Karen]

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89
The strange thing is that I have never done well in science. I am doing A OK in the rest of my subjects except science. My teacher...ugh...I just feel like walking up to him and kicking him. All my other teachers are awesome except him.


Any chance you could switch to another science class with a different teacher? If your school has a "guidance councelor" it might be worth asking. As for not being a morning person, um ... think of it really really late at night? ;)

I once had a literature teacher that drove me bananas ... so I did all the extra credit work I could, just so she HAD to give me an A, even if I disagreed with her in class discussions.

[Miss Meow]

Britt, keep writing this stuff down as you feel it. You don't have to post it here of course, but keeping a journal can help you release stress and reflect on events and people that affect you. When you look back, you can see how you handle issues each day.

When you mention not needing a shrink as it's your problem, there are some great counsellors who are trained to listen and ask questions to help you find your own perspective on things and not provide a biased view. So think about it as another possibility to help you through rough times.

As Soledad says, don't limit your choices just yet in school. The more you do and the better you do it, the more choice you'll have later on when it matters most.

It doesn't matter what age you are, life throws things at you that are hard to manage. Just the people and situations are different :) Good luck with all your studies.

[aly]

Britt - Take a deep breath and relax. I remember going through awful days at your age and just feeling soooo bad. Things always got better though. And remember the saying: What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. You learn and grow as a person as you go through both negative and positive experiences. Just always remember to be the better person. I am sorry the girl made you feel so bad. You could always draw her face on a pillow and punch it a few times :D Next time something like that happens, just keep your cool and ignore the person. That will really get to them.

There is nothing wrong with talking to a therapist. That is what they are there for! Or maybe you could talk to your parents or another relative? Just remember everyone goes through the pressures and stress at your age. Keep your chin up and the bad feelings will end :)

Just one thing though, do you really blame the teacher on your grade? Even if you do, you should never call him a horrible teacher. Even if he really is a horrible one, you should still show him respect. And eeek, don't throw pom poms at teachers :eek: Your science class with no extra credit will be a good preparation for college. There's almost never extra credit in college and most of the time the professors could care less if you pass or fail.

So put a smile on that face and know that the sunshine always eventually comes and chases away the storms.

[FloppsyLadySally54]

Thanks Miss Meow, I will do that. I feel it would be too much effort to get my schedule changed for a new teacher. Plus, the seventh grade teachers are made up of teams. You get one team, you get al the teachers in it. That's just the way it works. I think my friend and I had a mental breakdown on him. We threw our pom-poms at him, screamed at him, and kicked all the stuff in his room. He didn't seem to notice. I hope he is prepared for the looks I give him in class tomorrow. We talked to the guidance counselor in the hallway. Then we were just mad and looked to our much-valued friend, our french teacher. We convinced him he would be a great principal because he was no nice and he understands what us kids/teens go through. I have decided my consideration and time for art will NOT change, I am going to keep the same amount of effort and time I put in to art. I come up at luch almost everyday (like Kayann) and work hard and my art teachers always gives us lolli-pops. I am still angry and upset and it has been like twelve hours now. I'm heading deeper and deeper into the night and all I can think about is art. Science isn't the most important thing to a math or english teacher, math or english is. I barely passed the sixth grade science course with a 76 as my final average, but a 99 in art. Plus I hear from my teachers that they notie how I am always drawing and everything and I never get yelled at for it. They also notice the amount of effort and consideration increases strongly in art. Today we watched a movie on the 7 elements of art (space, shape, texture, value, form, line, and color), and while everyone else was bored and talking I was staring at the screen taking down notes and concentrating so hard. Now I wish I could do that in science.

[kingrattus]

quote:
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I almost died of lack of air, because I couldn't stop to breathe, since there were no periods in the worlds longest run on sentence. I only read about two "sentences" and said "Ok, thats enough for me." My grandma does crap like this 24/7- so I am sick of listening to stories like this (no offense).
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No offence, but if you don't want to listen to it, then don't read it. I think everyone has a right to express themselves, and maybe she feels like is a great place for ppl to listen and understand her. I don't mean to be rude, but thats how I feel, please don't take that the wrong way :[
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Darnit, I forgot who posted that reply, sorry.

Anywho, I agree 100% with u. if u don't like it don't read it!! You people more then likely have no idea what she is going through (well unless u went throught it too). Have u ever really felt like dirt & stupid & felt ur not good enough & feel like ur sister is better then u (thats what I got out of ur post Brit)?? Well I have.

Yes I know everyone has been 12 at some point in life, & may have had a great childhood, but there r people like us who wern't so lucky. So respect us & don't post mean things u don't understand please!!!

About the art. Whatever u do don't ever stop drawing. Its a major stress releaver. Talk to ur art teacher & see if he can help u find some art contests, those will cheer u up, even when u don't win. I've won several adult art contests when I was under 16 yrs. During an interior design class back in high school my stuff was looked at by a proffessional interior design lady & she loved mine, she said I had great tallent & would make good money if I went to university for it. Just for kicks I applyed to a college course & well I was accepted, but I turned it down. All I wanted was the letter that said I was good enough. I took Police Foundations insted & I love it. & when I was 12 & yunger I was having dreams of becoming a vet. But I lacked the smarts in math & had no hope at all of ever becoming one. So I found something else I liked & I'm loving it.

I have no personal exp. with journals, but I know that my dog was always there to listen to me, no matter what I had to say. Try talking to ur dog about ur problems, it made me feel much better, because I didn't want to go to a shrink either. Try the dog thing & if that isn't helping talk to ur dr. he might recommend something.

well its super late & I have to work early tomorrow morning.
I hope some of my info is helpful to u & possibly others.

take care

[Nomilynn]

Don't be too hard on yourself. I wasn't good at science or math either, so I went to the teacher after school and got extra help. However, if you don't like your teacher maybe there is someone in your class who could help you? There was a guy in my class who had a rep as a kind of geek but he was SO smart at math and stuff so I just went to him for help. He was happy to do it (he didn't have many friends) and I ended up meeting a super nice person and did lots of projects with him in other classes in the future. Also, I went to a councellor at school and it majorly helped - that's what they are there for!! I was diagnosed with diabetes at the beginning of grade 10 and I slipped into a deep depression. I went on medications and I saw a councellor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist - and this was all in the past couple years (I'm 22 now). I believe that it can happen at any age but if you deal talk about it it may not catch up with you and be overwhelming later, like how it happened to me.

And don't give up your art if you love it!! It will serve as a good stress reliever for you. If you like writing (you seem to because of the long post and the 7 page dream life) keeping a journal or writing short stories might be good for you.

I know I always hated it when adults said to me, "oh it's fine, don't worry about it, blah blah." I can look back on it with a different perspective now, but I don't think it's fair to belittle anyone's feelings when they are upset or feeling down. All feelings are legitimate and matter whether other people understand or not. I feel for you.. I really do. It seems like when it rained it poured all over you!!! Give Lady and Floppsy and Sally big hugs and kisses, and do something for yourself tonight :)

[RockyRoad]

Hey guess what my depression is getting worse. I went to my friend's cousin's party and it was flled with little kids that were like jumping on us and stuff. Then my friend kept on wanting to do what she wanted to do and I couldn't do anything until she said so. And then her and her other friend and me were in the moon bounce and they left because they said I was ruining it by jumping around while they did flips which left me all alone and all of a sudden all of the things that had happened to me in my life came to mind and I just started crying and then when I finally came out like 20 minutes later they could see I had been crying and started laughing. Then we went in the car and I didn't talk to them. Then my "wonderful" day ended off in a screaming fight with my mom when she said I care about everything else but my family and I really do I don't care my family sucks. And now I am on here. But at least I have the pets here and I love them and I have you Pet-Talkers so it's not like I am totally alone.

[anna_66]

Britt, I know it's none of my business, but seeing as you posted, I guess it kinda is. It sounds to me as if you aren't getting what you need at home. Do you ever spend time with your parents? Do they listen to you (and I mean really listen)?
You shouldn't be this depressed at this age in your life, you should be having fun with friends, not sitting alone on the computer all the time. Maybe that is one of the problems. You are on the computer "too much". It's like you need us, to talk to & tell your problems to. You should try talking to your parents & friends. Maybe then you wouldn't always be so depressed.
Anyways, I hope you feel better now, then when you did when you posted.

[Miss Meow]

Who rated this thread with one star? Might be easier to ignore a thread of little interest rather than insult the writer???

[RockyRoad]

Actually, my outer family (uncles, aunts..etc.) isn't really that fond of me BECAUSE I LIKE ANIMALS!! It is so annoying if my cousin is torturing his cat of course I am going to tell him to stop but then my aunt gets furious. Anyway, I am too embarassed to talk to my mom or dad and there really isn't much to talk about. If IO am going to be on my own, I just gotta learn to enoy it. I figure things out on my own. It is especially hard to talk to my mom about puberty. So I did sort of talk to her but she is really weird. I am close to my family..but then animals or art come up. It's like my family are a bunch of dim-witted people and I am the one with the brains. My favorite family member is my grandpa. We live in a two floor house but my grandparents live upstairs and my grandpa is really cool and all my friends like him. All my friends hate my mom, she never trusts them. Anyway, while my dad and sister are watching South Park and football games and my mom is blabbing on the phone, I am either writing a story or sketching or on the computer somewhere talking about pets. I am so happy on the computer it has become my life (besides my pets and art). I take the pets outside and play with them and stuff and that is fun too. Online I never have to go naywhere and I can talk to my friends. You cannot hear what you are saying, only see it, and most of the time you can delete what you say when you cannot in words. I also watch TV and interact mostly with the media and arts. Anyway, bye.

[Aspen and Misty]

O gee A 74!! I PRAY FOR 74! LOL. But I'm in the 8th grade.

LOL

I have a 48 in science and a 52 in History. Yea, I am like the worst student EVER! LOl But I try my hardest and my teachers see that so they help me out alot. Maybe talk to your teacher about your grade and see if there is anything you can do.

Also, I know what you mean about talking to your parents! When I talk to my mom she just blows me off to talk to my older sister :mad: . It really makes you feel un wanted. My mom always says that oncve my sister leaves we are going to have a great relationship but you know what, I don't want to be a replacment. When I was 12 or 13 I think13 I went through depression. Acctually I find deprassion is more comon in teenagers, it is like a thing they go throw now. I dunno, all my friends went through it I went through it and now you are to. I know what it feels like to be lost and like there is no one who cares but really everyone cares for you. your family loves you. Maybe your mom is mad because you would rather be on the computer then with her. I know my friend and her mom hate each otehr all they do is fight and I feel so bad for her mom she is always in tears becaue of the way her daughter acts. I'm gald me and my mom can at least survive a car ride fo 30 mins without one of use bringing the other to tears, although I don't think I have ever brought her to tears, I know she's brought me to them. Your family life may not be bad, I know mine wasn't a year ago and just because you aren't close with yoru family doesn't mean that it is bad. Just try to talk to your mom about what you did that day. Like stupid stuff like today I took Lady out side and threw the ball and she jumped up real high for it. It was so cool. She might respond with a A huh or a Yea thats nice, but she also might respond with a o wow thats cool you wanna show me or what else did she do? Just try, ok? And when you get all depressed go play ball with Lady are run around with Floppsy or even play with Sally.

Ashley