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View Full Version : At last....good diet hints.



wombat2u2004
03-10-2010, 07:01 PM
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t7/wombat2u2004/WooFlungDung.jpg

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Husky_mom
03-10-2010, 07:20 PM
I´m here freakingly LMAO... can find a word to describe how tremendously hilarious it is... thanks for posting this :D

Pawsitive Thinking
03-11-2010, 04:26 AM
Works for me! now, pass the chocolate :D

wombat2u2004
03-11-2010, 04:40 AM
Works for me! now, pass the chocolate :D

Sorry, no chocolate.
I have a Sweeney Todd pie for you tho. :D

Medusa
03-11-2010, 06:20 AM
My kind o' diet! I especially like the part about sit ups. No more guilty conscience for me! :D

Pawsitive Thinking
03-11-2010, 07:57 AM
Sorry, no chocolate.
I have a Sweeney Todd pie for you tho. :D

Yum! my favourite

happylabs
03-11-2010, 09:47 AM
I love this theory. Very intelligent person who make this diet. :D

wombat2u2004
03-11-2010, 03:23 PM
I love this theory. Very intelligent person who make this diet. :D

True..........That's Dr. Woo Flung Dung. :D

kokopup
03-11-2010, 11:11 PM
They were all great, but I almost blew a gasket on the swimming one.:D

lvpets2002
03-12-2010, 12:23 PM
:p Thats a good Thread Posting.. Too Funny & so along the my thinkings too..