Worried about dog and new baby....any advice

[iluvterriers]

Okay this is more of a me thing than the dogs or the baby.

Question: have any other new mommies been here when it comes to their dogs....concern for their child with no real reason to be concerned?


how do I get over this fear and subconciously and conciously realize, she is the same dog I left when I went to the hospital to have my baby?

Details:

Okay so I just recently had a baby and I have 2 dogs. I have a minature poodle and a Terrier mix.

My Terrier mix has always been the sweetest dog ever and still is, but I found myself nervous and scared if she is out around the baby and I don't know why, she hasn't done anything to warrent my fears.

Its just when I came back from the hospital (I've rarely been away from this dog, I've been away from her maybe 1 time since she was a puppy) she seemed so much bigger than I ever realized she was. And the thing is she isn't a big dog, maybe 20lbs but she is very strong/muscular.

I guess up until that moment I always saw her as that cute little puppy I brought home and never an adult dog. I don't know.

I need to get over this fear because she is still the same dog she always was and I love her dearly....but how do I get over this fear and subconciously and conciously realize, she is the same dog I left when I went to the hospital to have my baby?


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The poodle is the one I always had my worries about when it came to having a baby, but he is fantastic with her. He can be the most hyper dog on the planet but when my daughter is around...he is so calm and he is as quiet as a mouse. He has taken on the role of her protector I think....if she is crying he goes over to whoever has her and he checks them out and the situation out...to make sure she isn't being hurt. I think he feels important again, he loves her so much and he is so gentle.

I'm sure my Terrier would be just as gentle but for some reason I suddenly can't get over her size...plus she is overly friendly with those who live in the house so she will get in your face and try to kiss and I don't want her in my daughters face, you know.


Anyways I know its weird and it probably is something psychological but have any other new mommies been here when it comes to their dogs....concern for their child with no real reason to be concerned?

(I would never leave my child with either of my dogs unattended...I trust my dogs but I don't trust either one any further than I could thow them..know what I mean, they are still animals and no matter how well trained they are they might still act on instinct you can never be too careful.........by the way I would never throw my dogs)

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I don't know why I worried about my poodle though he has always been fantastic with babies and kids (people in general)......just not other dogs

And I don't know why really I worry about my Terrier she is great with all people, kids especially, and other dogs as well. She is even good with Cats. (Though I think she thinks she is a cat but that is beside the point


Anyways thanks for your imput/advice

[Karen]

I think you need to realize that as a new mom you will worry about things that you never even noticed before - that just comes with the territory, and with the hormones, and the changes in life.

Your dog is not who has changed, and deep down you know that. Just give her love and attention as much as normal, and relax.

When my sis-in-law was pregnant, one of her friends asked my brother if they were going to get rid of their puppy, and he replied "No, in fact, if we didn't have a dog, I'd probably go get one now! Kids and dogs belong together!"

[iluvterriers]

You see I would never rehome my dogs. Everyone the whole pregnancy told me to get rid of those dogs. That dogs and babies don't go together.

But kids and dogs do go together and I have been preparing both my dogs for this for their whole lives really because I knew eventually we would have a child.

I know as a kid the time I didn't have a dog I was miserable, dogs are an important part of my life.

I'm not scared of the fact that my Terrier would intentionally hurt her, but my Terrier is clumsy and extremely friendly and I am afraid that she might accidently scratch her or step on her or something. The worst thing is when I am holding my daughter and my Terrier comes up to sniff at her and my daughter sees her she starts crying. She is a good dog but she is just overly friendly and I am trying to teach her boundaries when it comes to the baby. She is a 25lb lap dog and whats to stop her from thinking she can come and sit in the babys lap....poodle already tried.

Anyways I know its a me thing but I feel so bad because I find myself not giving my Terrier as much attention as I do even my poodle. And I want to but she is a handful right now as it is. (We have had bad weather conditions and what she needs is a good offleash run, and I can't safely give that to her right now.)

we live in an apartment so we don't have a yard. The yard we take our dogs to is my grandparents yard and its not safe right now to let them out to play in, its so muddy and mucky that they could get hurt out running in that....its slippery and deep. It just really needs to dry up. Both dog parks in the area are either under water or partially under water, so we can't take her there either. There have been a few other places I've tried but no luck. Even tried the dog park that is an hour away and conditions aren't much better.

She really needs a good offleash run, but all the places I try to find for her are either extremely muddy and unsafe or still flooded.



I know I'd feel better about the whole situation if I could get her the exercise she needs right now. She still gets two walks a day (an hour each) but those are leashed but what she really needs is to just run.

And the calmer she is the more I feel I can trust her around the baby, but with the weather conditions the last 6 weeks have made for a very hyper dog (and she isn't hyper by nature.)

The baby though isn't quite 3 weeks old

[Karen]

Is there anyone you can ask to take her for a good run, or might she go to a friend with dogs' house or "doggie day care" a few days a week to help wear her out?

The baby is likely crying because you tense up when the dog approaches, so try to school yourself not to do so.

There may be a teenager nearby who would love a little money for taking her for a good long walk/run - any kids you know, or kids others might now - available?

[Taz_Zoee]

As you said, you'd never leave dog and baby unattended. So the dog would not have the chance to "run all over" the baby. But if the dog accidentally did, she would probably cry which would make the dog realize...Ooops! Guess I shouldn't do that again. Just as if another dog yelps.
Not that I want you to LET the dog hurt your daughter.

And Karen is right, the baby (and the dog) feel your tension. I know this, but I have not learned how to not feel tensed myself. I have a different issue with my dog and me being stressed and sending that stress to her. So, if you figure out how to supress the tense feeling, please, let me know! :)

Good luck!

[iluvterriers]

Is there anyone you can ask to take her for a good run, or might she go to a friend with dogs' house or "doggie day care" a few days a week to help wear her out?

The baby is likely crying because you tense up when the dog approaches, so try to school yourself not to do so.

There may be a teenager nearby who would love a little money for taking her for a good long walk/run - any kids you know, or kids others might now - available?

Again she gets a good long walk/run 2 times a day by my husband, but what she needs is offleash playtime. And the conditions aren't right for that outside without her getting hurt.

She normally goes to my grandparents house 3 times a week to just run and play with my other dog and their dog for a few hours outside, but their yard is litterly an accident waiting to happen right now.

I don't have the money to pay out to send her to doggy daycare nor would I want too.

Its not a matter of not getting to go for a walk/run but not getting offleash running in, she gets the best exercise when she can run offleash with my other dog. But she can't have that right now.

I don't trust anyone but us with our dogs by the way.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

My you have your hands full right now! As the others have said the dogs can feel you tensing up when they approach you with baby which in turn will make them more interested in the strange new "creature" (no disrespect meant to your adorable baby :)).

Terriers are very bright dogs - have you tried getting yours to exercise her brain instead of her legs. Hide treats in toys and things to keep her occupied and burn off some of the excess energy some other way

[iluvterriers]

We do do a lot of mental exercise, we work on her obedience and tricks everyday.

Sadly she doesn't have many toys, she is what I like to call a Toy Murderer. (And she taught our poodle and he is worse, he will destroy tennis balls) She has even been able to destroy some of those Indestructable toys that they recommend for dogs like her. And those aren't cheap. My Terrier however plays really well with Tennis balls, she does okay with her Kong, she won't play with most rubber toys. Tug ropes usually last a month or two around here before needing replaced, we play a lot of tug a war....its something I can do sitting down and I was on restricted activity most of the pregnancy. She goes easy on me but when she plays with my husband she puts all her strength into it, she goes easy on our poodle too.

Once we get back on our feet a little better (my husband just started a new job) I plan to get both dogs one of those treat ball things. And hopefully find a toy that my Terrier won't destroy.

The funny thing is I don't tense up when my poodle is around...mainly because he has shown that he can be calm around the baby. And he is very gentle with her and everything. I am always right there if he is near here. But he sniffs at her, he lays below wherever she is. He has quickly bonded to her I think, again I think he feels he is her protector. I'm not sure.

He has never really been this way with us, he has always been very hyper and a bit defiant at times...but since the baby came all that has stopped. Its like he grew up. (Honestly he started to calm down around the time I was 6 months pregnant, but after the baby came all negative or unwanted behavior just stopped....its amazing really. And I always reward him for good behavior around the baby....we have a very special cookie we get for them when it comes to being good with the baby its a peanut butter and that chocolate substitute. He loves those cookies, so does our Terrier.

Our Terrier has done the opposite though, she has gotten more nervous and more hyper (and I do think the needing run off some energy is part of it a big part of her routine has changed due to outside conditions (She would have OFFLEASH play time for 3 hours with other dogs 3 days a week and that has stopped until they can safely play outside in the grass again ....we need a good 5 days of sun and warmth to get my grandparents yard dried up....the dog parks will take a little longer, the creek that is next to them, is still out of its bank)

It snowed and rained yesterday and was only in the 30s but the sun is out today and its supposed to get up to the 40s and if we are lucky this weekend is supposed to sunny and the temp is supposed to be around 65, so here is hoping we can get this grass dried up. The mud at these places is so thick you sink in it.

I am praying this weekend we can get her over to my grandparents because one of her best playmates lives there, even if they can't get out in the yard my grandparents converted their garage to a living room so there is more room to play inside at their place. I think it would do her and my poodle a world of good to see their buddy!

Poor thing she is just used to having this good schedule and her world is upside down right now. A morning walk and an evening walk (she still gets that) Offleash playtime on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. And Sundays they used to get to go to the petstore and pick out a "cookie" if they were good and obeyed their commands during the outing. (That one was put on hold because first weekend I had had the baby, 2nd weekend I ended up back at the hospital due to being really ill, this weekend fingers crossed it will happen, my husband plans to take them one at a time, its right down the street on Sunday for their cookie)

They are overall good dogs and I know that they are, My terrier is just overly friendly and I have to find a way to teach her boundaries when it comes to the baby, where my poodle already figured out what he can and can't do and such around the baby.


He just took to her naturally.


Is it possible that he has chosen her as his person? He has never been real close or anything to me or my husband, he is much closer to me than my busband but its like he has made it his life's work to protect this baby, he isn't that way around us but if anyone that doesn't live her is holding her and is right at their feet watching their every move, if she starts crying he gets real protective of her if somoeone he isn't sure about is holding her.

Normally I don't let him do this but I had her little bed on our bed (its a bed that if she needs to she can sleep between my husband and I) and Zack got up on the bed and he just laid down right next to her bed all snuggled up and just looked at her...I grabbed the camera and took a picture and it was so cute both Zack and my daughter were looking right at the camera like they were just hanging out and were buddies.

I let him sit up there with her a few minutes but then as always I made him get down, he knows the rule he isnt supposed to be on the bed if she is up there. But it was too cute of a photo chance to pass up.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

He just took to her naturally

It does sound like he has a special affinity with your daughter - it may take time but your terrier will calm down eventually. As you say, the routine is all over the place at the moment which must seem very strange not to mention all the new scents in the home.

Sounds easy to say, but do try not to let it stress you too much. You have to focus pretty much all your energy on the baby right now but the time will come when she has her naps and you will then have time to spend with your dogs. Don't try to be supermum to everyone - you will wear yourself out

[iluvterriers]

It does sound like he has a special affinity with your daughter - it may take time but your terrier will calm down eventually. As you say, the routine is all over the place at the moment which must seem very strange not to mention all the new scents in the home.

Sounds easy to say, but do try not to let it stress you too much. You have to focus pretty much all your energy on the baby right now but the time will come when she has her naps and you will then have time to spend with your dogs. Don't try to be supermum to everyone - you will wear yourself out

Well I have been trying to do it all and tend to them all. I hate to say this but the pups are just going to have to learn that they will get their attention right now when I can give it to them.....which they get tons in the evening. I just want to be able to still be there for them too, they after all were my first babies....but right now my daughter does take up most of my time, which is no big deal to me she is my daughter and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend my time with....but what the pups don't know is how tired Mommy really is. Baby is colicky and I get very little rest as does she. My husband is a real trouper though rain, snow, or shine he is out there getting them walked (well okay maybe not rain, they hate the rain as much as we do...but snow or shine) and played with and everything. And then at night he takes over with the baby and I play with them. I'm probably doubly tired though because instead of resting when he gets home, I then go and play with the dogs and work on training.

Hopefully over the course of the next few weeks we can get into a more productive routine for all of us.

In the meantime, maybe I hate to say it, let my daughter have an afternoon with my mother so I can rest and maybe give the dogs a little TLC....because I'm sure they feel left out. (I just don't like the idea of being away from my daughter, when she was a week old I ended up in the emergency room very ill, and had to stay overnight at the hospital....bad kidney infection. And that was really hard having to be away from her so soon.)


Anyways thank you all for your imput and advice, I will take it all into consideration and find what works for us

[amberlynn]

this happens to most new moms.....it is a protective sense in the mom because it is a new baby.....but from what you had said is that they are wonderful pups and they take of the baby as a new addition to the pack...which is wonderful....but most new moms that get real scared they end up rehoming there dogs or sending them to the pound.....but i dont think you would do something like that

[MonicanHonda]

You can make your own treat balls/toys! Here are some tutorials

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!videos=cDfGF-Qb6vQ&v=pZl9JxFh0s4

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!videos=AXFWTUhslQM&v=LRss3clqORo

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Most important is that you take care of you too. You have only just given birth and it takes a long time for your body to readjust. Its good to have a break from your baby and the dogs from time to time so you can get some well earned rest - don't feel guilty about it

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I don't know how old your baby is, but just know it can take awhile for your pets to adjust since it's a major change for them, too. It sounds as though you have some natural fears because it's normal to want to keep your little baby safe! I felt uneasy with my dogs around my daughter when she first came home. I'm less paranoid now that she is older, but I am still very careful. Marta has never hurt a fly (well maybe a fly) and LOVES kids, but I think it's still important to watch them together- and I think as long as you continue to be watchful, eventually your fears will subside. Good luck, and congratulations!