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CountryWolf07
01-12-2010, 11:51 AM
I am hoping someone on here can help me improve my cover letter which will be sent to a couple daycare/childcare centers around where I live that I want to apply to and use my art skills with young kids and also sign language as well. Here is what I have so far.. I am horrible with cover letters and especially when it comes to writing! Help out, please? Thanks!


"To whom it may concern,
As a recent graduate from The Ohio State University with a Bachelors of Art degree from the College of Arts, I am looking for an opportunity to utilize my creativity, art education. I feel with children, art is a different world of expanding their vision of what they see in their world and want to share with us by expressing their feelings and thoughts through a drawing or a painting. Encouragement to allow them to do so offers them to be creative.
As a individual with a hearing impairment, I feel with an advantage, I am able to assist with sign language to young children, help them expand their minds."

Pembroke_Corgi
01-12-2010, 12:37 PM
"To whom it may concern,
As a recent graduate from The Ohio State University with a Bachelors of Art degree from the College of Arts, I am looking for an opportunity to utilize my creativity, art education. I feel with children, art is a different world of expanding their vision of what they see in their world and want to share with us by expressing their feelings and thoughts through a drawing or a painting. Encouragement to allow them to do so offers them to be creative.
As a individual with a hearing impairment, I feel with an advantage, I am able to assist with sign language to young children, help them expand their minds."

I'll try to help- I'm also starting to look for work, and I've written my fair share of cover letters. I would start with a basic letter- like the one you have written- and tailor it to fit the job depending on what the position is.

Here's another version of the letter you wrote that I changed:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am very interested in working for [company name]. [I would add something about the company you like here to show you are interested in their specific company and did your homework]. I have a bachelor's degree in the arts from The Ohio State University and I am hoping to find a position that would allow me to utilize my natural creativity and passion for art education. Working with [company] would allow me to share my skills and love of art with children.

I feel that with children, art is a different way of expanding their vision of what they see in their world by expressing their feelings and thoughts through a drawing or a painting. I could offer your students encouragement as well as the expertise needed to help them open their minds to art and allowing them to use their creativity. [I would add something about your experience and what else qualifies you for the position here].

Please consider me for an interview where we can discuss this further. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

[Name]

Do you have a resume? I would be sure to add your fluency in ASL there if it doesn't fit into your cover letter.

Good luck! I know the job market is really tough right now. Personally I'm just hoping I can use my master's degree sometime before I'm finished paying it off. :rolleyes:

CountryWolf07
01-12-2010, 12:46 PM
Thanks, Jill! I hope you find a job soon enough as well! :) Good luck!

cassiesmom
01-12-2010, 07:11 PM
I am hoping someone on here can help me improve my cover letter which will be sent to a couple daycare/childcare centers around where I live that I want to apply to and use my art skills with young kids and also sign language as well. Here is what I have so far.. I am horrible with cover letters and especially when it comes to writing! Help out, please? Thanks!


"To whom it may concern,
(1)As a recent graduate from The Ohio State University with a Bachelors of Art degree from the College of Arts, I am looking for an opportunity to utilize my creativity, art education. (2) I feel with children, art is a different world of expanding their vision of what they see in their world and want to share with us by expressing their feelings and thoughts through a drawing or a painting. (3) Encouragement to allow them to do so offers them to be creative. (4) As a individual with a hearing impairment, I feel with an advantage, I am able to assist with sign language to young children, help them expand their minds."


Two things. I numbered the sentences in your letter so my post is shorter and makes more sense.
Sentence #2 - change the phrase "art is a different world" just slightly so the word "world" isn't in the sentence twice - I want it to read that art gives children an opportunity to expand their vision of what they see in their world and want to share with others. But I can't think of a stronger word than opportunity. Maybe experience? Art gives children the experience of expanding their vision of what they see in their world and seek to share with others. (??)
Sentence #4 - I want it to be much stronger because I think knowing sign language is a huge advantage. How about something like this: "As an individual with a hearing impairment, I bring the advantage of assisting with sign language to young children to help them expand their minds."

Catty1? Karen? You are both so good with words - can you help me here?
Thanks,
elyse

Karen
01-12-2010, 07:19 PM
"As an individual with a hearing impairment, I bring the advantage of assisting with sign language to young children to help them expand their minds."

Catty1? Karen? You are both so good with words - can you help me here?
Thanks,
elyse

As an individual with a hearing impairment, I also know the importance of sign language, and can help hearing impaired and hearing normal children learn sign language to help them communicate. This would also benefit hearing children by letting them know having a hearing impairment isn't "weird," or contagious, or something to be made fun of, but is just a part of normal life. I feel my experiences will benefit and enrich all the children's learning experiences.

If you want, you can add something saying that you do have cochlear implants so your hearing is perfectly adequate for the job, and wouldn't effect your ability in any way.

I would also add that art is often beneficial to young children as an alternative method of expression. Words and reading are good, and important, but a child struggling with that area can gain valuable experience and self esteem by expressing him or herself through art as well.

Catlady711
01-12-2010, 10:03 PM
Try these links.

http://www.career.vt.edu/JOBSEARC/coversamples.htm

http://jobstar.org/tools/resume/cletters.php

http://www.collegegrad.com/jobsearch/Best-College-Cover-Letters/The-Reality-of-Cover-Letters/


Hope that helps some. Good luck.

CountryWolf07
01-13-2010, 12:12 PM
Got a response and they want me to come in and fill out an application and they hope to get a interview with me to set up a position!
Fingers crossed.

Catlady711
01-13-2010, 06:34 PM
:D Yay!!! Hope all goes well with it!

Catty1
01-13-2010, 07:18 PM
WOOHOO! You go, girl!:D

Pembroke_Corgi
01-13-2010, 08:06 PM
Good luck!! :)