Baby shower

[Marigold2]

Just got back from a baby shower. It was for a childhood friend of my daughter's. S is 24, married to a great guy. They own a beautiful home, four bedrooms, three baths, inground pool, deck, finished basement. It is a lovely home filled with love, two happy young people waiting for their first child to be born. It's a beautiful thing to see them at this stage prepared for this precious baby boy.
I remember S as a small girl playing with baby dolls. She loved her baby dolls. My daughter played with Barbies. Baby dolls were not her cup of tea.
That started to replay memories of other young girls who played with baby dolls. These young girls all turned out to be young moms. Some married as S some not.
So my question is do we as mom's and as a society push motherhood on young girls by giving them certain toys such as the baby dolls and making this seem all important. You are a girl, you have a doll, grow older have a baby. What if young girls were given toy planes, trains, bluilding blocks, books, medicial kits, plant and science kits instead of dolls? Would their expections be higher or different? Little boys are not given dolls to practice on so they can learn to burp, feed and change diapers when they become daddies. They are not given kitchen sets, pots and pans, sweepers, vaccums, tea sets so they can learn to keep house. They are given tools, planes, trains, cars, hammers, camaras so they can learn to make a practical living. Are we short changing our daughters by still giving them domestic toys, this isn't 1950 and women don't stay home all day and bake, do little girls really need an Easy Bake Oven? What about giving them Legos so they can build an office building, a bridge, a road, a school, hosptial instead? What about a small science kit or a solar kit to study the stars?
I have two granddaughters they will not be given an Easy Bake Oven from their GG, perhaps a science set or a medical kit.

[Karen]

Certain inclinations will bear out regardless of toys available. I never played much with dolls - I had Dawn dolls, not Barbies, and made them clothes and furniture, but didn't play much with the dolls themselves. It isn't that dolls weren't available, they just didn't interest me!

That said, we always had building toys available, blocks and other building things, and we all played with those a lot, regardless of gender. I am the only one of my siblings that is not an engineer of some sort, but I was always more interested in crayons and things to draw with than toys, anyway!

[lizbud]

Interesting question. I think the culture we live in tends to dictate
what is expected of our children. Cultural mores differ from culture to culture.

[pomtzu]

I don't feel that girls have to play with dolls to be a god mother, just as boys don't need to play with Legos to be an engineer. You can give a child the toys you feel they should have, but if it doesn't interest them, they won't play with them. What the parent would like the child to play with to give them a certain direction is a waste of money if it isn't used by the child. As the old saying goes: "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink".
I was never fond of playing with dolls as a little girl, but I consider myself a darn good mother and homemaker, etc. - as does my son. I was more interested in playing outdoors - riding my bike, climbing trees, roller skating on the sidewalk, swimming in the lake in summer and ice skating on it in winter. I was more interested in my Dad's tools, than I was in the girly fluff stuff, and I would hang out with him in his basement workshop when he was working on a jewelry project (he was in the watch and jewelry repair business for many years). My mother never took offense to this, nor did she try to steer me in a more "motherly" direction. She was wise enough to know that in time, I would find my own direction.

[Medusa]

I can't honestly remember giving my son certain toys; he chose them and it was always cars, cars and more cars. And he always had a tape recorder b/c he loved to talk. (still does. LOL) I always knew what he would be/do when he grew up and I was right. My mother gave me dolls, etc. when I preferred books, clothes and, of course, jewelry. I didn't give w/expectations; I knew that my son would choose what he wanted to do w/out much help from me. My mother gave to me with expectations and it did no good. LOL

[catnapper]

I had baby dolls, Barbies of all sorts... and I lived for Cabbage Patch dolls when I was 11. I even collected dolls in my 20's. I collected porcellain dolls, Madame Alexander dolls, and Barbies. Yet I always knew I never wanted children of my own. I ADORE Cameron. I cherish every moment spent with him.... and I cherish every moment NOT spent with him for much different reasons.

As for Cameron.... I see him growing up to be an AWESOME dad. He loves his pets. He does anything he can to get a cat to stay with him. I swear the only reason he comes to our bed in the middle of the night is because the cats curl up with him at that time, whereas they don't stay with him during the day. I think pets would have a bigger "mothering" impact on a child than a babydoll would.

[catnapper]

do little girls really need an Easy Bake Oven? .
Just a side note: Cameron is BEGGING us for an easy bake oven. LOL. We aren't getting him one.... not because its a girl thing, but because he can bake for real with us.

Also, he loves to make crafts with me. Do you know how hard it is to find boy crafts? Honestly! Everything is pink and glittery. I'd be thrilled to find something "boy" for a craft... but they're all pink ponies and princesses. So I stick to holiday things. Right now we're working on making wreaths out of beads and ornaments out of playdoh. Yet, I'd still like to find a nice kit that had boy things... firemen, construction truck, car, something!

[Moesha]

I had dolls but never really played with them. I still have most of them and they are in excellent shape. My nieces are really fascinated with American Girl dolls right now. They also love Cabbage Patch and other baby dolls. I just bought my nephew magformers. They are shapes with magnets in them so you can build different 3-D things with them. He loves them. Here's a link (http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.item.T27414.desc.Magformers-50-piece-3-D-Magnetic-Building-Set)to what I bought on QVC.

[sirrahbed]

Good question - but I know when my kids (now ages 24-31) were small, sons and daughter alike has dolls, kitchens, cars, trucks, as well as lots of books, blocks, science kits and Lego bricks. As adults, both boys are wonderful at nurturing babies and my daughter is both a good mommy and something of a techno-geek:D I do not think that it is very good or healthy for little kids to only have gender-specific toys. Lots of books, exploring toys, puzzles, building sets are great for both sexes and I really feel like both should have the dolls and pretend homemaker toys as well.

[Catty1]

Maybe ask the grandkids what they want, or a wish list from them.

My favourite presents I remember as a kid:

1. A tiny toy grand piano with black keys that WORKED, and a wee music book to figure out some simple tunes. I nailed Twinkle Twinkle Little Star before breakfast Christmas morning. I was 5!

2. A MICROSCOPE!

3. A CHEMISTRY SET! I followed some of the directions...then experimented on my own. I was - 8? I created a neat blue liquid, then added something and it turned a brilliant green! Mom and Dad never had a son, but I caused Mom enough worry about blowing up the house to make up for it!

Listen to them - to what they love. :love::love:

[JenBKR]

I never really played with dolls too much when I was little. I liked action figures, like Spider Man, He Man, and GI Joe. I did, however, have an easy bake oven which I loved (except for the fact that the food was cooked by a lightbulb and took FOREVER). I do believe that boys and girls can have at least some predisposition to toys - it's the whole nature vs. nurture thing. In any case, even though I never really played with dolls, I love being a mommy. My sister, on the other hand, always played with dolls, and she doesn't want kids (she may change her mind though, she's only 27).

Along with a train set, Ty is getting a kitchen and play food for Christmas. His friend (also a boy) has one and Ty loves playing with it. I think you should let kids choose what they like to play with.

[Asiel]

I had tons of dolls, they all sat on my bed or on shelves. I was into the outdoors and was mostly a tomboy. I climbed mountains, trees, roofs of sheds and played cowboys with imaginary horses. My favourite sports were skiing, baseball, and horses. They're still my favourite things today but I've had to opt out of these for quieter things. I never stopped my kids from playing with whatever they wanted to and they are all well adjusted. My son loved baking and today his wife is happy to let him take over since it doesn't interest her. My daughter is an animal and sport freak but loves to cook and bake. I think whatever kids show an interest for is okay by me. It doesn't seem to reflect on what they become but it does round out their world.

[Catty1]

OHH! OOH! TRAIN SET!

My dad got me a small one - but with "real" tracks...the engine by itself was heavy, so he spent a good dime. Maybe he got it for himself too? ;):D

[JenBKR]

OHH! OOH! TRAIN SET!

My dad got me a small one - but with "real" tracks...the engine by itself was heavy, so he spent a good dime. Maybe he got it for himself too? ;):D

I'm sure he did! I know my husband can't wait until Christmas for that reason :D

I saw a train with track that a child can actually ride on, it's motorized and goes in a little circle. I think I might have to get one of those for Ty too....and maybe try it out myself first.....;)