Where I'm at now...something positive

[Queen of Poop]

It's been almost a week since the big blowout.

I've left my parents and am in Calgary. I signed up this afternoon for a year at a rental condo. I took the kittens to Country Club pet resort for the evening. I'm staying at a south Calgary hotel for the night. Tomorrow we move in. I love my parents dearly and truly appreciate them helping me, but their smoking was going to kill me, I'm so allergic.

The kitties were thrilled to be let loose at the kennel. They said see ya ma and went out onto their own private patio. It might be a struggle to get them home!

I am hoping to be able to get the rest of my things from HIS house on Wednesday morning.

I am still mourning Miss Sasha, after 15 years it is very hard to be without her.

Thanks all for your support and kind words. I love you all!!!

[Karen]

All sounds like steps in a positive direction. And hey, the kitties probably didn't like the smoke any more than you did! We're all still thinking of you!

[chocolatepuppy]

Best of luck to you in moving on with your life. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Medusa]

One step, one day at a time.....:)

[Daisy and Delilah]

Great news!! You are moving forward with a positive plan. Good for you!! It takes a ton of courage. It's for sure that you're on the right road, Gayle, so just continue down that path and keep coming here for support!! :) {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I know Sweet Sasha is smiling down on you from the bridge.:)

[Catty1]

Do you have someone to go with you when you collect the stuff at HIS place?

Hope you get some rest at the Super 8 tonight...or can at least be still in a quiet space.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[Queen of Poop]

Do you have someone to go with you when you collect the stuff at HIS place?

Hope you get some rest at the Super 8 tonight...or can at least be still in a quiet space.

{{{{hugs}}}}

No, I'm on my own for the collection of stuff. Probably take a couple of hours. Then the sucky part will be to carry it all up to my new place.

Feeling like I could cry at any minute. My moms to call shortly so waiting on her.

[Alysser]

Please feel better :( (((hugs))) you are moving on with your life! I know it's not easy but we are behind you 100%. I am sorry if this is a personal question I just wanted to ask where is Chance at the moment?

I know you miss Sasha, that is very understandable. I still miss Sas too, but I promise it will get easier. :love:

[cassiesmom]

((((HUGS))))) for QoP, Cali and Diego,

Elyse

[Catty1]

Gayle...will you be ok going there by yourself? Maybe just call the local cop detachment, explain what you are doing, and see if there is a nice officer who would just stand there and look mean. As a witness, if nothing else.

Actually, a female officer would be cool - HE would see a female packing a .38!

More {{{{hugs}}}} to you.

[NicoleLJ]

All of those moves show your strenght. Keep on looking to the future and the positive. Sheena and I send tail wags and hugs of support.

[Queen of Poop]

Please feel better :( (((hugs))) you are moving on with your life! I know it's not easy but we are behind you 100%. I am sorry if this is a personal question I just wanted to ask where is Chance at the moment?

I know you miss Sasha, that is very understandable. I still miss Sas too, but I promise it will get easier. :love:


Chance is with him. Chance is his dog. I got to be his mommy, but I was too stupid to train him. When we bought Chance my name never even went on the paper work, he said it would be easier that way. So I also grieve for the loss of Chance, I loved the big guy so much.

[Queen of Poop]

Gayle...will you be ok going there by yourself? Maybe just call the local cop detachment, explain what you are doing, and see if there is a nice officer who would just stand there and look mean. As a witness, if nothing else.

Actually, a female officer would be cool - HE would see a female packing a .38!

More {{{{hugs}}}} to you.

I will be going with an Officer. Sorry, thought you meant family or friends.

[Asiel]

Congratulations QOP, you're moving ahead one day at a time, good for you. Sounds like you have everything under control.

[Queen of Poop]

I'm in my place, kittens still at the kennel until tomorrow. Cleaners didn't finish last night so they are to come back at 7:30 pm tonight. Didn't think the kittens needed to be part of that. Land lord to come soon too to do the inspection. I need him to check the washer/dryer as they seem not right.

I spent over an hour this afternoon with my doctor. He documented all my cuts and bruises. He can't give me anything right now to get me to sleep, my emotions are running too high. So more sleepless nights ahead. I wish I had someone who could be here with me. I'm feeling very alone right now.

I've got my bed made anyway so there is that to look forward to, we will see if it is my friend.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I just wanted to send you some encouragement and support. I'm sorry that you have to go through this and I'm also very sorry to hear about losing your beloved dog, Sasha.

My dad was very emotionally and verbally abusive. My mom was married to him for 29 years, but when I was 15, we moved out. That was quite a long time ago now, but my mom has never once regretted it (neither have I). Very soon after leaving, my mom and I had a chance to regain self-confidence and happiness with life. I'm certain this will happen to you, too. (((hugs)))

[Catty1]

Group hugs for you:

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/6.gif

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/3.gif

And one extra big one:

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif

I hope you get some rest tonight, even if you don't sleep. You've been through one of the toughest, getting your stuff out of the old place and into your new one. You are doing all the right things.

You know we are here for you. :love::love::love:

[Alysser]

Please feel better soon :) You are slowly getting back on your feet :love: Keep on going!

[luvofallhorses]

I am glad you decided to leave him. I am sorry about you missing Sasha but she will be your guardian angel forever. :love: My thoughts and prayers are with you. (((hugs)))

[Daisy and Delilah]

{{{{{{{GAYLE}}}}}}}

Maybe in some time, Sasha will send you a little puppy she's picked out for you. Then you won't be alone. I wish you all the best every day. Try to be as strong as you've ever been. We're all pulling for you. I know what it's like.

[Medusa]

Have you tried Melatonin for sleep? You can get it just about anywhere but definitely at health food stores or pharmacies. I used to take it and it helped quite a bit. :)

[slick]

...and to think that I'm only a 10 hour drive away. I wish I could be there is help you through this but all I can do is pray for you and send you {{{hugs}}}

slick :love:

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks everyone, again. I am so glad I can come here and leave feeling better. I chatted for 40 minutes with my mom, she is great to talk to but when she's gone I find I miss her. I'll have the kittens back tomorrow so that may help a lot.

[Queen of Poop]

I forgot to tell you all I saw my doctor this afternoon and got all my cuts and bruises documented. Yes I am still banged up a week later. We had a very good conversation, over an hour.

[Catty1]

Gayle, I can get into the city any time. When Cali and Diego get home, and you are up to it, call me. I will call you also in the next couple of days...coffee and me listening are fine by me.

[Queen of Poop]

I'm really upset to learn that his mother thinks I make up his drinking and abuse. Her son doesn't drink and drive, drink and fall down, drink and abuse his wife.

[Scooter's Mom]

Re: his mother... It's hard for a parent to believe something so awful about their child. She is having a hard time believing she could raise someone with the ability to do such things.

I have never been in your situation, but my grandmother was. My grandfather was an alcoholic who abused her. She finally left, but not before years of abuse...

Sending you big, gentle hugs all the way from Phoenix. I know it's hard, but keep moving forward. (((HUGS))))

[Pinot's Mom]

A mother's son can do no wrong. This you need to absolutely put out of your mind; it's no longer your issue, and she'll have to learn on her own. Please don't expend any additional energy on her.

Take this time to heal yourself, get your life back on track, and build your mind, body and spirit. It's all about YOU!

Sending hugs and prayers...

Maggie:love:

[pomtzu]

A mother's son can do no wrong.

Oh yes they can - and do. I haven't seen or spoken to my oldest son in about 15 years. He made his bed, so he can lay in it.

QOP - here's hoping that your life is now going in the right direction. You've taken the first step which is always the most difficult. Be strong and keep going, and don't look back. There's nothing you can do to change the past, but you can make your future happy and bright. Good luck.

[Queen of Poop]

Woo hoo I get to go get my clothes and other personal items from his house this morning!! Then I can collect the kittens from the kennel and the new life will be on the way. I am feeling a bit better this morning.

[Catty1]

Good to hear! :-)

I don't know how you heard about what his mom thinks, but if anyone tries to tell you anything about that family, her included, just tell them it's none of your business (meaning you). You don't need any button-pushing crap from anyone! :love:

If charges have been laid, the mom will get a rude awakening at court!;)

Your kitties will be so happy to see you - and will be sniffing out their new home!

[Queen of Poop]

Well I got stuff. Just not all the stuff I wanted to take. Getting going with the divorce lawyer, her fees are steep, she better be good. Kittens are settling into their new home. They've investigated pretty much everywhere. Diego is wandering around and Cali is napping on her cat blanket on my bed. I am feeling terribly sad now.

[Queen of Poop]

I'm going to have to see about some counselling tomorrow when I go back to work. I've been crying for pretty much the last 2 hours. I thought getting my stuff and the kittens would make me feel better, but I don't think I've felt this low ever.

Diego did his best too. Came and had a wee cat nap in my arms. I guess I am just absolutely heartbroken.

[dukedogsmom]

I'm just now getting caught up with you. I've been worried about you for a while now. So very sorry about Sasha :( I know it feels like a piece of your heart has been ripped out. Take care of yourself :love:

[Alysser]

I'm going to have to see about some counselling tomorrow when I go back to work. I've been crying for pretty much the last 2 hours. I thought getting my stuff and the kittens would make me feel better, but I don't think I've felt this low ever.

Diego did his best too. Came and had a wee cat nap in my arms. I guess I am just absolutely heartbroken.

I am strictly speaking from an outside source, but I personally think you have every right to be heartbroken right now - but only for awhile, don't let him rule your life forever. ALL of this IS HIS FAULT, you did nothing wrong in the situation WHATSOEVER. Please don't ever think that, he brought all this upon himself and he deserves what he gets! YOU didn't deserve to be with someone like that and you never ever will deserve to be treated like that. You will see, I promise. I really do..please feel better soon, for your kitties, friends and family, and MOST yourself! :love:

[chocolatepuppy]

You will make friends now, now that no one's stopping you. Believe in yourself, that you're a wonderful person. You are.:)

[Catty1]

Holy cow, Gayle, of COURSE you need some counselling. You have been beaten for years, you have gone to your parents', had to put down your best friend, get a place to live, get your stuff from the old place TWICE - holy cow girl, this is MAJOR stress and heartbreak!

My guess from my experience - you have been in survival mode for over a week - our brain does this so we can do what needs to be done.

Now that the major "doing" is over, the "being" catches up. It is safe now for you/your psyche to let go. Yes, get counselling to get you through the first few months...this is a HUGE grieving time. Also remember that you likely have years of crying to catch up on.

It's OK - it really is.

You might find a women's group helpful too...women who have all been where you are.

HUGS!:love::love::love:

[rosethecopycat]

I'm going to have to see about some counselling tomorrow when I go back to work. I've been crying for pretty much the last 2 hours. I thought getting my stuff and the kittens would make me feel better, but I don't think I've felt this low ever.

Diego did his best too. Came and had a wee cat nap in my arms. I guess I am just absolutely heartbroken.

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I am feeling the same, let's hold eachother up for a while.
You are in my thoughts too.

[Queen of Poop]

I am going back to work today. It's 5:45 am and I am pretty much ready to leave. Way too early. I am hoping Cali and Diego will be ok their first day in the apartment by themselves. I am hoping I can get thru the day without breaking down. Right now I could just throw up. I just want to go curl back up in bed.

When my alarm went off Diego came and crawled under the covers, right against my chest/tummy and purred. At that moment I felt so much love. Such a good boy.

[Queen of Poop]

See the counsellor tomorrow at 11:45.

I have to stop being on the verge of tears all the time.

[dukedogsmom]

I've been where you are now. When I lost Duke, I about had a nervous breakdown. But I didn't seek counseling, which was stupid. I hope it helps you. I wish for you great strength for today. You've got a lot of support here to help you.

[Moesha]

You have been through a lot and are dealing with so many different things. Right now it is natural to be on the verge of tears all the time. I hope that the counseling will help you to deal with everything and help you move past this difficult time. Many thoughts of comfort and support being sent your way.

[emily_the_spoiled]

I am glad that you made this decision. Remember it took you awhile to reach this point to leave, so please do not expect your feelings to "be gone" right away. It will take awhile to work through everything (even with help). But Catty1 has a good idea, unfortunately there are plenty of other people who have been (or are in) a similar situation, so it might be helpful to talk with them.

Gentle hugs and curl up with the furry ones when you get home tonight...

[Medusa]

Counseling will help you to relieve yourself of all the things that need saying, if nothing else but, hopefully, you'll find a counselor who will do more than just listen. Whatever the case may be, know that every day you're a little bit closer to getting better. :)

[Queen of Poop]

Ok, I'm really proud of myself. I went after work today and bought a tv and cable box. I've never been allowed to set them up before so was quite intimidated by the whole thing. But guess what!!!! I did it!!! I am now watching tv, it all works. I did it all by myself!!! This is just the positive thing I needed to happen. If I can do this on my own, what's next.

Anyways I think in my lack of sleep mind I've gone just goofy and the sadness can only return. But right now I'm relishing in my success.

[blue]

Stay strong, you are doing well.

[Grace]

The sadness will come and go - but each time will be shorter and more distant from the last time.

This too shall pass . . . . . . .

[Alysser]

See :D This is perhaps a symbol of your FREEDOM to live YOUR life the way you want :) :love: Keep it going!

[rosethecopycat]

Nice to hear of your accomplishment.
I had a flat on the interstate and changed it myself yesterday, and my glasses broke today. Just scary because nobody has 'got my back' now.

We sound like we both have a lot of figuring out how to do things.

{{{{hugs}}}}}

[Karen]

Oh, Rose - ZenniOptical.com (http://ZenniOptical.com) has glasses very inexpensively! Even with my difficult prescription, (astigmatic and myopic different in each eye) I paid less than $20 for a pair! Just have fun looking at the different styles and have a ball!

Gayle, good for you. We are all very proud of you!

[RICHARD]

Just scary because nobody has 'got my back' now.

We sound like we both have a lot of figuring out how to do things.

{{{{hugs}}}}}

Stop it!

When you have get "your own back" it forces you to keep spinning around trying to see what is sneaking up on you.

Take a second when you do, and look at what you have not seen in the past.
Eff yeah, It's scary-but it's nothing that will drag you down if you take your time and look at every challenge as something that you will meet head on and beat.

Check it out.


Two things to add to your resumes?


I CAN hook up a TV set....

I CAN change a flat tire....

Don't back away from challenges and don't ever think you cannot.

You can.

It's alot more fun without the AH looking over your shoulder whispering in your ear that you cannot do it.

When you both start changing oil filters and spark plugs don't stop there.

It a huge effing world.;)

[phesina]

Well done, Rose AND Gayle! I'm so impressed by both of you and your strength.

[Queen of Poop]

Good going Rose!!! Excellent news of the tire, sorry about the glasses. It is a scary world out there when you've always had "back up". One thing I'm beginning to see now is more things seem to be going right rather than wrong. I'm having more successes than failures. It's great not to have someone chirping that I'm too stupid to do this, too dumb to do that, etc. You're doing great Rose, keep going sweetie.

[rosethecopycat]

Oh, Rose - ZenniOptical.com (http://ZenniOptical.com) has glasses very inexpensively! Even with my difficult prescription, (astigmatic and myopic different in each eye) I paid less than $20 for a pair! Just have fun looking at the different styles and have a ball!

Gayle, good for you. We are all very proud of you!

Thank you Karen,

As it is, my new glasses were ordered last Monday. They just haven't arrived yet. I can't see a thing within 3 ft of me for the time being.

I am saving the link you gave me, a lot of my friends are suffering with mid age eyesight problems and costs as well.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Gayle and Rose, this thread is so inspiring. I feel every heartache you both feel. Both of you, keep on keeping the faith and you will have brighter days ahead. Alot of what you're feeling is total fear of the future and uncertainty. Both of you are finding out you can do things without help.

Keep on keeping on ladies!!! That new life is going to be so fantastic!!!! One day soon, you'll both be so glad you got shed of those toxic people in your lives. You are both good people and don't either of you forget it. Neither of you have done anything wrong. It was the guys you had that were all wrong for you. This brings back alot of memories for me.

My biggest success was joining a support group. I was able to network with people like me. We had so much fun together. I always left a session feeling on top of the world. It made me a new person. All my feelings of worthlessness disappeared. It took time to heal but I did and I'm able to talk about it today. Hugs to both of you. Happiness is right around the corner.:)

[cassiesmom]

Queen of Poop and Rose the Copycat, I have lighted a candle for you and for D&D, Medusa and everyone else who has provided encouraging words:

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=pet%20t
for Gayle and Rose, with thanks for others on PT who have been in the same situation and offered encouragement

But I think I should have made it with thanks for everyone on PT who offered encouragement, whether in the same situation or not. Sorry, everyone :o

[sparks19]

awww hun I'm so sorry... the sadness will be there for a while. it's a change in life for you.

BUT... soon you will look forward to coming home to your OWN place wher eyou can do whatever you want... dance aroudn NAKED if you want to. eat peanut butter or ice cream out of the tub... drink milk from the carton... watch a totally cheesy chick flick... sit in the bathtub for 2 hours reading a great book or just laying there by candle light listening to some wonderful music. WHATEVER you want.

And snuggle with ALL of your babies in bed whenever... THEY want lol.

It's hard now and I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling... but it will not always be this way. HUGS and best wishes for the hard times... and just keep looking forward to your new future... it's limitless :)

[Daisy and Delilah]

Thank you, Elyse. :) You are a doll. :)

[emily_the_spoiled]

Please remember that we are stronger then can you can ever imagine. Right now it is scary, but as time goes on and you do more and more without someone trying to "step on you", you will gain the confidence.

God made us strong to survive (did you notice men don't have the babies :rolleyes:). The time will soon come when you will wonder why you weren't doing these things before.

Stay strong!

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks again for all the encouragement everyone. Trying to take it day by day. Really down in the dumps this morning though. Just very, very sad. Found the anniversary card he had given me at the end of July for our 8th wedding anniversary. Can't figure how things went so wrong since then. Or was the card just a ruse. I dont' know, it's bothering me and I know I should let it go.

Rose, how are you doing today? Did you get your new glasses?

[Catty1]

Dearest Gayle...didn't things go wrong long before that? The post you sent several years ago from California? {{{{hugs}}}}

I think he meant the card...but he is very sick and very dangerous. Remember that, hon. Put on your running shoes and KEEP RUNNING! ;):love::love:

[Queen of Poop]

Dearest Gayle...didn't things go wrong long before that? The post you sent several years ago from California? {{{{hugs}}}}

I think he meant the card...but he is very sick and very dangerous. Remember that, hon. Put on your running shoes and KEEP RUNNING! ;):love::love:

Things went wrong way before that. I was so very stupid for so very long. Should have tossed him the first time he hit me, before I married him. I'm much smarter now, took 8 years to get here but I am NOT turning back. Talked with the divorce lawyer this morning, we will be serving him with papers very soon.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Okay, I think everyone needs to read this :D

THE BOTTLE OF WINE


For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:


Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.


As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.


With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.


Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.


'What in bag?' asked the old woman .


Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'


The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:



'Good trade.....

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks for making me laugh. That doesn't happen much these days.

[Catty1]

Here's a housewarming gift, Gayle...I saw these in Kensington yesterday and almost fell over! :eek:

http://www.gettheex.com/

[rosethecopycat]

Thanks again for all the encouragement everyone. Trying to take it day by day. Really down in the dumps this morning though. Just very, very sad. Found the anniversary card he had given me at the end of July for our 8th wedding anniversary. Can't figure how things went so wrong since then. Or was the card just a ruse. I dont' know, it's bothering me and I know I should let it go.

Rose, how are you doing today? Did you get your new glasses?

Gayle, the similarities in our situations are uncanny. I am so sorry that you were ever struck, even once. Nobody deserves that. Ever.
That is the only thing my husband has proven consistent and true. He was never violent.

I too, have been in deep, deep despair.

I too, found a anniversary card.

May I read it?

Sometimes when I look at you I can't believe you're mine.
I still feel the same excitement that I did when we first met.
And I know that no matter what happens, that spark will always be there.
It's so wonderful to know that sharing love with the same person doesn't have to get old or boring, that it can keep getting better and stronger all the time.
And it's wonderful to know that I share that kind of love with you...
and always will.
(in his own hand follows)
Happy 10'th Anniversary
Rose!
I love you forever.


That was 18 months ago.
Now, those are all the reasons he's siting that he wants to leave. Oh, and yeah, I forgot, now he wants kids. (I'm 48)
What kind of man, if he never felt like that card says, goes into a store, picks that card out and thinks: yeah, that's the card I'll give her!

At the end of July, he joined the Army National Guard Reserve (at the age of 39) to secure health insurance (for me)
It was a lifeline as my health premium was $1000 a month, for me alone.
Soon I will have no coverage, RA as a preexisting condition and no hope of paying the premium as I am severely underemployed now.
My nagging question is: why would he join the Guard if he was so unhappy with me?

Somewhere around that time, I think that other woman entered the picture. She is married as well, getting a divorce.
She is a predator.
I too am asking myself how things could go so wrong since then.

Gayle, I hope you can at the very least can feel some relief, and some safety now. I know you're going to feel all the other things too, like,
grief, sorrow, anger, despair and the feeling like you are on the verge of tears for sometime to come.

I pray you have some support system in family and friends.
I know how important connecting with people is, as I don't have any family, and am completely alone. No parents, no children, no brothers or sisters, no aunts or uncles.

PT folks, just imagine if everyone you have contact with was suddenly gone.
Please reach out to your loved ones, and work on your relationships.

As mine didn't deserve any work, I guess.

Rose:(

[Queen of Poop]

Gayle, the similarities in our situations are uncanny. I am so sorry that you were ever struck, even once. Nobody deserves that. Ever.
That is the only thing my husband has proven consistent and true. He was never violent.

I too, have been in deep, deep despair.

I too, found a anniversary card.

May I read it?

Sometimes when I look at you I can't believe you're mine.
I still feel the same excitement that I did when we first met.
And I know that no matter what happens, that spark will always be there.
It's so wonderful to know that sharing love with the same person doesn't have to get old or boring, that it can keep getting better and stronger all the time.
And it's wonderful to know that I share that kind of love with you...
and always will.
(in his own hand follows)
Happy 10'th Anniversary
Rose!
I love you forever.


That was 18 months ago.
Now, those are all the reasons he's siting that he wants to leave. Oh, and yeah, I forgot, now he wants kids. (I'm 48)
What kind of man, if he never felt like that card says, goes into a store, picks that card out and thinks: yeah, that's the card I'll give her!

At the end of July, he joined the Army National Guard Reserve (at the age of 39) to secure health insurance (for me)
It was a lifeline as my health premium was $1000 a month, for me alone.
Soon I will have no coverage, RA as a preexisting condition and no hope of paying the premium as I am severely underemployed now.
My nagging question is: why would he join the Guard if he was so unhappy with me?

Somewhere around that time, I think that other woman entered the picture. She is married as well, getting a divorce.
She is a predator.
I too am asking myself how things could go so wrong since then.

Gayle, I hope you can at the very least can feel some relief, and some safety now. I know you're going to feel all the other things too, like,
grief, sorrow, anger, despair and the feeling like you are on the verge of tears for sometime to come.

I pray you have some support system in family and friends.
I know how important connecting with people is, as I don't have any family, and am completely alone. No parents, no children, no brothers or sisters, no aunts or uncles.

PT folks, just imagine if everyone you have contact with was suddenly gone.
Please reach out to your loved ones, and work on your relationships.

As mine didn't deserve any work, I guess.

Rose:(


Oh Rose I wish I could reach out across the miles and give you a great big hug. I've been contacting those women with whom I was friends before that wasn't allowed any more. They've been great, telling me it's about time I took out the trash. I also have my parents total support and they're providing me the funds to divorce him. I don't know why either of our men did what they did, but they don't deserve us (can you tell I'm having a good day today???). We are too good for them. You're a good, decent person, you will find a way thru this difficult time and come out smelling like (guess what??) a Rose. Hang in there girl, I'm with you all the way. We can do this. I will PM you my direct email address. If you ever need to chat we can go that way.

[cassiesmom]

Rose and Gayle, I am thinking of you this evening and hoping you'll have had a good day.

((((HUGS)))))
elyse

[Queen of Poop]

I was good until late this afternoon. Now I'm a wimpering fool. I don't want to feel all sad and all after having a good day. It's just washed over me. Think I'll go to bed soon to escape it.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Gayle and Rose:::::it seems impossible but you can do this!!! Stick to your guns.......be strong!!! The other life that's coming is so much better. One day the sadness will be gone.

Staying in touch with each other is fantastic. What a great support system.

[carole]

Gayle i wish you all the very best, and hope that your move will indeed be a good one for you and all will go well, you have been through some tough times and I can only hope for you to have a very happy ,content and safe life from now on.

Remember it is perfectly normal to grieve for something you have lost, even if it wasn't how it should be, it is what you knew and i am sure there were plenty of good times as well, but the bad times usually outweigh the good,just take each day as it comes, and know that in time you will feel happy again and secure within yourself.
Rose reading your post brought tears to my eyes, i can feel and understand you pain also, just know we are all here for you both and thinking of you and extremely proud of you both, HUGS to both of you.

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks all for the support. Good to read thru all of this today. Had a great day yesterday but started going downhill last night and continues on the downward plunge today. Guess that's going to be the norm for a while. More emotional rollercoaster action.

[Karen]

Yes, dear, but the good thing about THIS rollercoaster is that the hills get smaller after a while, and then you DO get to get off! :)

We are all pulling for ya! :)

[Daisy and Delilah]

I have a relative(don't want to say who right now)that is going through a similar situation. This thread is so close to what's happening. It is serving as a great help to me to help with advice and continue to encourage pushing forward.

Gayle and Rose......HUGS to both of you again. You can do this!!!

[gini]

Adding some prayers and hugs to this thread for Gayle and Rose.

As Karen said, the hills will get shorter and not be so lonely or frightening.

Just wait until you both are able to fly - and that will happen. I hope we can share in your joy when it comes.

:love::love:

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I hope you are doing better today. I am still thinking of you and your pets and hoping things are going as well as they can.

[Pinot's Mom]

I hope you're all doing better, too. Any new small step?? We're here for you!

[Miranda_Rae]

QOP-

I have not been on for a very long time, but I did get the gist of what has happened with you and I think you are being a strong woman. It takes alot of courage to make the decision to do what you did. I think it makes you a stronger person to stand up and so no more also. Just remember that the PTers are always here for you. :)

It sounds like the kitties are gunna have fun at that kennel.hehehe

[Queen of Poop]

I'm doing ok. Going thru the anger phase now. No more crying. Remembering all the awful things and that's giving me the strength to carry on.

Kitties are so relaxed these days it's just funny. They just flop down on the floor and have a napper if needed. And to watch Cali play with the mousie toys I got, hilarious. They're adjusting well. Diego curled up on my lap last night and purred up a storm, he's such a love.

[Medusa]

Our kitties truly are a blessing, aren't they? When I was at my worst emotionally, just to hear them scuffling on the other side of the door as I was coming home from work, made my heart swell. I'm so glad that you have your furkids to comfort you. :love:

[Queen of Poop]

Got my mail this morning. In it an envelope from my mom. Inside that a note and a Cdn $50 bill. The note said to go get myself a fluffy housecoat and a pair of slippers to keep cosy in.

She's so bad.

Making me cry.

What a great mom I have!

[Catty1]

YAAAAY for moms! :D

What colour ya gonna get?:)

[Daisy and Delilah]

Usually, when I got to the anger stage, that was the beginning of my recovery. More hugs going out. :)

[Queen of Poop]

Oh I hope you're right about the anger stage being close to recovery. Guess time will tell.

[sparks19]

OH slippers and a warm housecoat is just the ticket. especially with winter upon us

find a favorite TV show... curl up with a blanket either on the couch or right in your room in bed with the kitties and enjoy. THIS is healing. you will never be more comfortable and cozy.

we are all thinking of you still :D

[gini]

Q.O.P. - and Rose - thinking of you both this weekend. Prayers for healing are being offered.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Oh I hope you're right about the anger stage being close to recovery. Guess time will tell.

I hope so too, Gayle. When I felt anger, it seemed like I wouldn't feel weakness anymore. I give alot of credit to those support group people that empowered me to feel better about myself. I had lost so much self worth, it was what I needed to move forward and get better. You may not feel like doing it right away but it might come one day. Such a great feeling to go out and have coffee or tea or lunch/dinner with girls just like me. Every time, it was like a giant load was lifted from me.:)

[Queen of Poop]

http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff208/queenofpoo/th_PA310048.jpg (http://s237.photobucket.com/albums/ff208/queenofpoo/?action=view&current=PA310048.jpg)


http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff208/queenofpoo/th_PA310049.jpg (http://s237.photobucket.com/albums/ff208/queenofpoo/?action=view&current=PA310049.jpg)

The fleece housecoat and pants I found, as directed by my mom. They're so warm and snuggly! Thanks mom. Made me feel warm, cosy and safe. But didn't help me sleep at all. Can't wait until I can sleep again.

[RICHARD]

Thanks mom. Made me feel warm, cosy and safe. But didn't help me sleep at all. Can't wait until I can sleep again.

Get a copy of "Creative Dreaming" by Patricia Garfield.

Read it and try some of the techniques. Now, I can put myself to sleep in a few minutes, without even thinking about it. It really works, you just have to be patient and try it.

[Queen of Poop]

Get a copy of "Creative Dreaming" by Patricia Garfield.

Read it and try some of the techniques. Now, I can put myself to sleep in a few minutes, without even thinking about it. It really works, you just have to be patient and try it.

Thanks Richard, I will take a look for it. Order it if I have to. Doctor won't give me a sleep aid so I struggle thru.

Not having the best day today, really riding the emotional roller coaster. Diego has done well though, napping a few times for an hour a time in my lap. He's such a good boy.

[3Catcondo]

Can you try Advil or Tylenol PMs? Or Chloratabs (for allergies) also help me sleep when I cannot sleep. Sending good thoughts your way, and sleep vibes.

Amy

[rosethecopycat]

I am back in the same place with the sleep thing. :(
I was doing better, but the last few days I've boarded the emotional rollercoaster once again.

I had the sad task of telling my dear British neighbors (who just returned from Italy for the last 7 months) Their daughter lives next door year round and they stay for the winter months.

Well, it was a double whammy. As I was telling them that my husband is leaving me for another woman, they are telling me their daughter is splitting up with her husband (who still lives in London- long distance marriage for 3 years) That couple have both changed their positions (there is no other person involved) She got him a Green card, and he said: whoa, won't you come back to London -and have babies? Well, she doesn't want kids and he always knew that. Now, she says: she likes him as a friend, not a husband, after close to twenty years of being together.
That leaves my neighbors in a precarious position, as my husband had told me that he should have never married me, 12 years ago, and he thinks of me as a friend. They have to support her, and yet they do not support my husband for his misdeeds. Strange.

I am just so sick of people accidentally marrying their friends. And then oh, sorry about your life.

My husband's discontent just coincides with the appearance of this woman a little too much. I am choosing not to believe that I was part of a 16 year mistake. I consider him lost.


Gayle, just try an over the counter sleep aid, or a glass of wine at bedtime. I don't think the sleepless phase is going to last.....I hope.

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, you're definately not part of a 16 year mistake. He thinks he's found greener pastures on the other side of the fence. Too late he will realize what he's lost. In the meantime you will have moved on and found real, true happiness for yourself.

I sent an email today to the counsellor I was seeing a few years ago, who encouraged me to leave, who my husband made me stop seeing because of the encouragement. I've not heard back yet, I hope I do and that she will have some time to see me.

Progress, one tiny baby step at a time.

[Queen of Poop]

So everyone knows, I am absolutely done feeling sad and/or missing that lousy not soon enough ex-husband of mine. The liar, the filthy, filthy liar. Given it all I should not be surprised. :mad:

[Alysser]

So everyone knows, I am absolutely done feeling sad and/or missing that lousy not soon enough ex-husband of mine. The liar, the filthy, filthy liar. Given it all I should not be surprised. :mad:

I am glad you're moving on! KEEP it up! Although, I feel you're angry..very angry. Being ANGRY is fine, it's the next phase, but rememeber feeling a different feeling IS MOVING ON! KEEP IT UP!

[rosethecopycat]

So everyone knows, I am absolutely done feeling sad and/or missing that lousy not soon enough ex-husband of mine. The liar, the filthy, filthy liar. Given it all I should not be surprised. :mad:


Good for you Gayle.

That is a huge step. Nothing to miss there, really.
I hope you are finding moments of comfort too.

[cassiesmom]

Thinking of you both today, QoP and RtCC and hope you've both had a good day.

(((HUGS)))

[Queen of Poop]

Getting stuff done today!
Got booked in with my old counsellor for Nov 18. Had to stop seeing her cause he felt she was talking me into leaving him - should have followed her direction not his! (hindsight)
Got his name put on the gas bill for the house so it doesn't come to me.
Last night sent a bunch of info to the lawyer.
Changed dentist appt to January, just can't do it now, been thru enough. Woman there was a hoot had a great chat about getting divorced.
Changed my beneficiary on my life insurance and RRSP.
All around I feel like I've done alot and I feel really good about it.

[Catty1]

YAY!

Are Cali and Diego the new beneficiaries, by any chance? ;):D

[phesina]

Getting stuff done today!
Got booked in with my old counsellor for Nov 18. Had to stop seeing her cause he felt she was talking me into leaving him - should have followed her direction not his! (hindsight)
Got his name put on the gas bill for the house so it doesn't come to me.
Last night sent a bunch of info to the lawyer.
Changed dentist appt to January, just can't do it now, been thru enough. Woman there was a hoot had a great chat about getting divorced.
Changed my beneficiary on my life insurance and RRSP.
All around I feel like I've done alot and I feel really good about it.

Wow! What a lot of real accomplishments! You must feel so good.

You go, girl! Give yourself a pat on the back, at the very least. You deserve it.

[Karen]

All around I feel like I've done alot and I feel really good about it.

Doesn't it feel good? :) We're all proud of you, pour yourself a good mug of hot chocolate to celebrate, and add all the marshmallows you want!

[rosethecopycat]

Getting stuff done today!
Got booked in with my old counsellor for Nov 18. Had to stop seeing her cause he felt she was talking me into leaving him - should have followed her direction not his! (hindsight)
Got his name put on the gas bill for the house so it doesn't come to me.
Last night sent a bunch of info to the lawyer.
Changed dentist appt to January, just can't do it now, been thru enough. Woman there was a hoot had a great chat about getting divorced.
Changed my beneficiary on my life insurance and RRSP.
All around I feel like I've done alot and I feel really good about it.

Nice work Gayle.

My neighbors have given me some melatonin tablets to try, to help me sleep. I'm really sleepy now, but it's not even 10pm yet. And then, later on, I'll be sleepless and thrashing in the bed from 3am on.

I have a Pet Guardian form to fill out. And I am going to have a will made.
I will have Siamese Rescue and PurrEver Ranch as my beneficiaries.

My meeting with the lawyer is on Thursday, with my 'husband'. Hopefully he will just sign off on what I'm offering him and I can rest a bit easier then. And no courts.

PT- please pray that he does not contest my settlement. Last Saturday he said he'd just agree to my terms. Hopefully, he'll leave me be, and not destroy me further. ( I can't believe that this is the same man who cared for old, sick Malfi, on our bed for 4 years)

Gayle- I'm really impressed by the strides you have made just in the last week or so. Keep it up, there are good things waiting for you.

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, I'm praying for you now and will keep fingers crossed on Thursday that it all goes the way you want it to. You're doing good too girl. The not sleeping is really crappy cause it makes the emotions all the worse. Sending you a good night hug across the miles to help you sleep.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Be strong. Ladies!!! {{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[carole]

way to go girls, you are both amazing, and strong women,remember your support group is always here for you,it takes courage to do what you are doing,i wish you both all the best, and Rosethecopycat,my thoughts are with you on Thursday, i hope all goes well, and fingers and all paws crossed here for you. HUGS to you both.

Would some chamomile tea help with the sleep at night, might be worth a try.

[Daisy and Delilah]

As far as sleep goes, I think you have to have a clear mind to sleep well. Not always the case but it sure is for me.

Have you ladies considered something like Ambien or Lunesta temporarily until you get past this difficult part? I don't think either are considered habit forming but they may be psychologically if nothing else. I'm not sure. Sleep deprivation is terrible for anybody and especially someone that's living through heavy stress.

I have insomnia so I have to use meidcation or I would never sleep. It's so hard. Best wishes to both of you.

[Queen of Poop]

I don't know about Rose, but I've seen my doctor twice now and he refuses to provide sleep meds. Believes it will work itself out eventually. If I start falling asleep at work however I am to go see him right away.

I know it's caused by everything that's going on, it is a struggle every day to focus my mind on other things. Best time is when I'm really busy at work cause then I can focus on that and not my tragedy.

[rosethecopycat]

I personally am not going to start taking prescription anything. I will be needing to secure health insurance for myself, and it's going to be disastrous, if I can get a policy at all. So, no anti-depressants or meds of any kind, unfortunately.
I wish I could use some brain bleach and get one good night's sleep. I know it won't be tonight, because of the lawyer appt in the morning.

[Karen]

Give yourself a good workout now, and then a nice warm cup of herbal (no caffeine) tea or hot cocoa right before bed.

If your brain keeps going, keep a pad of paper and pen by the bed table, so you can just write things down, then your brain may feel it can relax, and you can get some sleep.

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, pass me your worries for tonight and get a good nights sleep. I have nothing important tomorrow so if I'm kept up by both of our worries it will be ok.

You will do fine tomorrow.

[Queen of Poop]

Good luck today Rose!! I hope it all goes well.

Hoping also that you were able to sleep last night.

[Pinot's Mom]

Give yourself a good workout now, and then a nice warm cup of herbal (no caffeine) tea or hot cocoa right before bed.

If your brain keeps going, keep a pad of paper and pen by the bed table, so you can just write things down, then your brain may feel it can relax, and you can get some sleep.

I gave this advice in another thread! It actually works well!! Good luck to both of you!!

[Daisy and Delilah]

GOOD LUCK ROSE!!! Wishing you both all the best as always!!

[Queen of Poop]

Still thinking of you Rose. Hope all is well.

My first appointment with the Divorce Lawyer is November 23 at 2:30 pm. It's a fair walk from my office, so hopefully it won't be blowing snow that day!

Otherwise I am doing ok. Still in the anger phase, I think it might last a while. Looking forward to seeing my old counsellor on November 18. I think she will be able to help me immensely.

[Queen of Poop]

How did it go Rose? Are you ok?

[rosethecopycat]

Well, that appointment wasn't what I thought it would be.
I got, in effect, a load of homework. And this is supposed to be THE simplest way to get a divorce. The settlement, that I worked up, was not revealed. We both have to fill out financial affidavits and return them. Then there is a settlement form that has to be filled out after. So I'm wondering how I can get my wording into the form. It's just a who-gets-what thing, I think. But I want wording in there such as: if you take the ceiling speakers, you will have the drywall professionally repaired.

I can't stand the sight of my so-called husband now. This is all so stunningly fast. I was so in love with him only 7-8 weeks ago. How could this have happened? My lawyer kept on asking me if I was o.k. I was in just a stupor. Everything about my 'husband' bothered me. From his stretching and yawning, to him saying that he wants to 'respect' me.
Last night he was in the house, on the phone, and Mr. Jones, the Tux, was near him and he says: Mr. Jones, come say Hi to Ashley on the phone. Do you hear him, Ashley, he's being all lovey..
I feel personally breached, like she was in my house touching my cat.
That is not respect. You would never expect this from this man, who was so cheery and well liked. It's like a totally different person.

So, the lawyer says we need to 'drag our feet' till the New Year for tax purposes. Fine. Within the next few weeks he will see the settlement. He better go for it. He saw me pay the lawyer $750 today, which I do not have.

Thank you Gayle for taking on my worries, but you need to think about you!
I hope you sleep better and your days become a bit brighter, each one.

[Queen of Poop]

I think the fact that you can't stand him is showing that you're moving on to the next phase! It's a good thing. How absolutely rude to be in your house talking to HER!!! And to behave like an idiot while he's doing it. Gross me out!!

Don't worry dear, I think about me and my issues morning, noon and night. It is nice to take a break from it to have concern for you and your situation.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Well, that appointment wasn't what I thought it would be.
I got, in effect, a load of homework. And this is supposed to be THE simplest way to get a divorce. The settlement, that I worked up, was not revealed. We both have to fill out financial affidavits and return them. Then there is a settlement form that has to be filled out after. So I'm wondering how I can get my wording into the form. It's just a who-gets-what thing, I think. But I want wording in there such as: if you take the ceiling speakers, you will have the drywall professionally repaired.

I can't stand the sight of my so-called husband now. This is all so stunningly fast. I was so in love with him only 7-8 weeks ago. How could this have happened? My lawyer kept on asking me if I was o.k. I was in just a stupor. Everything about my 'husband' bothered me. From his stretching and yawning, to him saying that he wants to 'respect' me.
Last night he was in the house, on the phone, and Mr. Jones, the Tux, was near him and he says: Mr. Jones, come say Hi to Ashley on the phone. Do you hear him, Ashley, he's being all lovey..
I feel personally breached, like she was in my house touching my cat.
That is not respect. You would never expect this from this man, who was so cheery and well liked. It's like a totally different person.

So, the lawyer says we need to 'drag our feet' till the New Year for tax purposes. Fine. Within the next few weeks he will see the settlement. He better go for it. He saw me pay the lawyer $750 today, which I do not have.

Thank you Gayle for taking on my worries, but you need to think about you!
I hope you sleep better and your days become a bit brighter, each one.

This makes me sick too!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Queen of Poop]

Had alot of difficulty yesterday accepting the reality of what's gone on. Doing better this morning. It will be nice when the ups and downs even out some.

[rosethecopycat]

Had alot of difficulty yesterday accepting the reality of what's gone on. Doing better this morning. It will be nice when the ups and downs even out some.

Same here, Gayle.
I am in the sheer disbelief mode this morning, after two days of disgust.

[Queen of Poop]

My accomplishments today:
Bought a floor lamp and put it together all by myself. It has glass shelves and its pretty cool.
Went to a local mall and met my friend from Medicine Hat for tea.

A good day for me.

How was your day Rose?

[rosethecopycat]

My accomplishments today:
Bought a floor lamp and put it together all by myself. It has glass shelves and its pretty cool.
Went to a local mall and met my friend from Medicine Hat for tea.

A good day for me.

How was your day Rose?

My dear neighbor was showing me how to maintain the swimming pool. I was scrubbing the sides, cleaning the filter, adding chlorine, etc. All things my 'husband' has left me holding the bag with.
Then we cut back the neighbors shrubs and I made a dinner for us.
It felt good to be with another person, conversation, chit chat.
One less day of being completely alone, is how I have to look at it.

Tomorrow we are going to move furniture around, and I am going to switch bedrooms.

Nice to hear you had a good teatime, Gayle.
I had two cuppas with my British neighbor fellow today.

[RICHARD]

I have been following this thread and want to ask Rose and QoP a question.

This question was posed to me once-I got the point quickly.

It didn't eliminate the sting of a person downgrading the relationship.
Matter of fact, it made me laugh and I've 'carried' the advice/lesson in my heart since then.


Ready?

Were you born alone?

It's not meant as an insult......My mom told me that years ago when I was all bent out of shoot over a woman.

Yep, I was born alone.


--------------

Both of you are going to be measured by what happens in the next few months. You have opened up to the PTers here and you may have made a mistake.:eek::D

We EXPECT the both you to get thru this and prove to us and yourselves that you will survive.

Life effing sucks today.

I am betting it may suck tomorrow.

And maybe Monday will suck even more.
It's only a temporary thing.

Every day won't suck.


Really, how can things suck when your pool is clean and you cleaned it better that the previous pool 'boy'?:)

[Queen of Poop]

Good going Rose. Now you're the "pool girl"!!!! Way to go!! I'm sure you'll do a much better job at it than he ever did.

Moving furniture sounds like a great idea. Out with the old way in the the new "Rose" way.

My friend Anne called this afternoon, she said she could take me for my colonoscopy in December and asked if I could help her paint next weekend.

What I am truly enjoying is having the TV all to myself. No more watching reruns of half hour sitcoms over and over again. Can't get enough CSI, Criminal Minds and football/hockey.

Wish though that I could stop the mini movies that have been plaguing my mind today. Little flicks of bad times. They invade when I least expect them. They are annoying me to no end.

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks for your support Richard!!:eek::D

Actually, thanks to everyone here for your support. You'll never know how much I've appreciated the comments. How when I'm down I read thru them all again and regain strength to continue.

But you're not born alone, mom was there. And for me, she continues to be there. We talk every day, sometimes twice a day. I can't thank her enough for everything she's done and doing for me.

[sparks19]

ahhh you picked good shows :D

when the bad thoughts creep in... turn up the volume :D

[RICHARD]

But you're not born alone, mom was there. And for me, she continues to be there. We talk every day, sometimes twice a day. I can't thank her enough for everything she's done and doing for me.


Mom will always be there, I miss my mom's advice, admonishments, her voice, laugh and I'd really like for someone to get 'angry' with me and tell me to (go home and) GO TO SLEEP.:eek:

Now?

I am by myself and have to be happy, disgusted, tough on and harsh on me.

--------------------------

Yep, having the remote all to yourself effing ROCKS!:)

[Karen]

Richard, shall I just tell you "portate bien?" ;) Or is that your Dad's job? ;) I bet you hear your mom's voice echoing inside your brain still, and likely always will! Me, I don't look like my mom, but I laugh like her, strangely enough!

Gayle, Rose, glad you are both doing well.

[RICHARD]

Richard, shall I just tell you "portate bien?" ;) Or is that your Dad's job? ;) I bet you hear your mom's voice echoing inside your brain still, and likely always will! Me, I don't look like my mom, but I laugh like her, strangely enough!

Gayle, Rose, glad you are both doing well.

I identify a little with the gals.

Mom left, I am saddled with a house, 'kids' and a desire to look into the future. Funny you mention DAD! He would have been 90 today and still would have said little about anything.

But, he would have been 'on guard' for me. That male sentinel, watching everything I do and shaking his head when I did something stupid, then went to him for advice!

Now? I have to figure things out for myself.:eek::D

It's an club we all belong to eventually. :( We just have to pay the dues!



P.s. I have to laugh because I still can see him shoot me the "What are you doing" look when I brought him a simple problem that had me totally perplexed. Me voy a portatme bien.

[cassiesmom]

when the bad thoughts creep in... turn up the volume :D

Sometimes I try the radio when my mind starts on those bad thoughts. Don't know why but that seems to make them slow down.

[Alysser]

I am so glad things are looking up for you! :D KEEP it up :)

Rose, once he's out life will be good :cool: Take it one day at a time!

[RICHARD]

To make up for my behavior I would like to dedicate a song...

Up! by Shania Twain.

It's 'bout as bad as it could be
Seems everybody's buggin' me
Like nothing wants to go my way
Yeah, it just ain't been my day
Nothin's comin' easily

Even my skin is acting weird
I wish that I could grow a beard
Then I could cover up my spots
Not play connect the dots
I just wanna disappear

Up--up--up--
Can only go up from here
Up--up--up--Up
where the clouds gonna clear
Up--up--up--
There's no way but up from here

Even something as simple as
Forgettin' to fill up on gas
There ain't no explanation why
Things like that can make you cry
Just gotta learn to have a laugh


When everything is goin' wrong
Don't worry, it won't last for long
Yeah, it's all gonna come around
Don't go let it get you down
You gotta keep on holding on

It's 'bout as bad as it could be
Seems everybody's buggin' me
Like nothing wants to go my way
Yeah, it just ain't been my day
Nothin's comin' easily

Up--up--up--
Can only go up from here
Up--up--up--Up
where the clouds gonna clear
Up--up--up--
There's no way but up from here

Oh-- I'm going up
Oh-- I'm going up
Oh-- I'm going up
Oh-- I'm going up
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah...

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks Richard! She's one of my favorites.

Having a very emotional day today. It sucks. Have shed a few tears, but not for him. Diego has been a very sucky boy cat today though, he's working on making mommy feel better by napping on my lap for an hour here, and an hour there.

Have also made up my list of what we own at our lake house. He's at a disadvantage, I've a photographic memory.

[rosethecopycat]

Thanks Richard! She's one of my favorites.

Having a very emotional day today. It sucks. Have shed a few tears, but not for him. Diego has been a very sucky boy cat today though, he's working on making mommy feel better by napping on my lap for an hour here, and an hour there.

Have also made up my list of what we own at our lake house. He's at a disadvantage, I've a photographic memory.

I'm sorry for your emotional day, it is hard to 'itemize' your life.
I have to start that paperwork tomorrow. :(
Still feels like someone is sitting on my chest.

I'm glad Diego is there for you, we are all still thinking of you, Gayle.
Keep your head above water.

[pomtzu]

I think both you gals are doing great, considering what you've been going thru. Yeah - I know - easy for me to say - right???

But seriously, you sound like you're on the right path and going in the right direction. It will take time, but all good things are worth waiting for.

And Rose - you have the pool. I'd take that over a husband any old day! :D

[Daisy and Delilah]

Keeping on keeping on , ladies!!!! You both are doing fantastic. Keep thinking positive about your wonderful new lives ahead. Hard to see now but not far away!!!:)

[gini]

Girls - just keep in mind that many of us are following this thread and we are behind you every step on the way. You are doing great and we are all so proud of you. You go girls!!!

[rosethecopycat]

I was just reading how PT is a happy place, and folks like to come and enjoy pictures and stories, and I always have too.

But, I am in a world of sadness now. I haven't laughed in 7 weeks. Even TV shows of happy people bring me down in a way.
I've always been happy (not particularly a 'cheery-smiley' person) but deeply content and grateful. Even with years of chronic pain, I managed to get out of bed and be thankful it's not any worse, and my husband was there, loving me. I dread getting out of bed now. I know the cats are hungry and I gotta try to make some money this day, if available to me. Other than that, I just go through the motions of life.

I appreciate a place that we can come with our not so happy news and thoughts, and the support from other people, who don't even know us, but can sympathize with our plights. Thank you all for your responses, it matters a lot if you don't have many people to talk to face to face.

[Karen]

Checking in this morning, sending you both cheerful morning thoughts - but quietly, in case you (like all my siblings and father) are not 'morning people.'

[Pinot's Mom]

You can bring your troubles here any time; we'll do what we can for both of you. I hope the "I can't get out of bed" stage is short lived, and I hope the kitties give you more comfort. They will if you let them. We're here to listen.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Rose, many of us have been at that point where getting out of bed took more energy than it was worth. I have not great words of advice, but sometimes just going through the motions of life is a start. Getting out of bed, feeding the cats (and yourself) is something to be proud of. Just take things one day at a time, or even one hour if you need to...remember we are here for you

[Queen of Poop]

I have to say I'm not having trouble getting out of bed. That could be because I'm sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. Best I could do at this time. I am hoping the divorce settlement will get me some furniture so I didn't want to buy other stuff. I am also a serious morning person, up between 4 and 5 every day. Cali and Diego have no qualms about making sure I know they're hungry too.

My biggest issue now are the memories that won't stop popping into my head. I am hopeful that when I see the counsellor next week she can help me deal with them and the sheer unbelief of how my life has gone. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

All the Christmas commercials on TV are killing me these days. They make me so sad. Christmas was always made a big thing by me for him and his kids. Now I don't know what to do. This one's going to be hard.

[rosethecopycat]

I have to say I'm not having trouble getting out of bed. That could be because I'm sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. Best I could do at this time. I am hoping the divorce settlement will get me some furniture so I didn't want to buy other stuff. I am also a serious morning person, up between 4 and 5 every day. Cali and Diego have no qualms about making sure I know they're hungry too.

My biggest issue now are the memories that won't stop popping into my head. I am hopeful that when I see the counsellor next week she can help me deal with them and the sheer unbelief of how my life has gone. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

All the Christmas commercials on TV are killing me these days. They make me so sad. Christmas was always made a big thing by me for him and his kids. Now I don't know what to do. This one's going to be hard.

You're right Gayle, this time of year is particularly hard to deal with.
I 'made' Christmas too, for him and his family who have always come down from Ohio, for the last 12 years. (his family spent 6-8 weeks a year at our place, in fact)

I don't want to see the decorations or hear the Christmas music, but it is next to impossible, if you even consider being in a public place.


I don't know what I'll do. It is so sad, not going to get that real Christmas tree, but I know I don't want to do it now.:(

Won't you spend the Holidays with your parents, Gayle?

I hope your counsellor session goes well and gives you some relief and guidance.

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, I may visit my parents at Christmas, it really depends on the roads. My mom has already made me promise if its snowing to just stay put. We lost 2 of my siblings in car accidents so she's a little paranoid, but rightly so.

I could end up here, in my little apartment with the kittens by myself on Christmas. My office closes from Dec 24 to Jan 2, long time to be home alone. Trying not to think that far ahead though.

Had a good day today. Completed gathering more info for the lawyer. Didn't get all sad over it today.

Hoping for another good day tomorrow.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Wouldn't it be terrific if you two ladies could get together at Christmas?

I can't help it. I'm a dreamer. :)

[rosethecopycat]

Wouldn't it be terrific if you two ladies could get together at Christmas?

I can't help it. I'm a dreamer. :)

Who's house can we stay at that is midway between Calgary and Orlando?

Anybody in Kansas want some holiday visitors?

[Catty1]

Hey, Gayle - I don't know what's up on the 25th. I would love to roast a free-range turkey and do the trimmings. The last few Christmases it's been just me and Mom.

You and Rose - maybe some friends will invite you over, especially if they know your situation.

Or maybe you'll get a chance to have a university student over who is too far from home to spend the holidays there.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Who's house can we stay at that is midway between Calgary and Orlando?

Anybody in Kansas want some holiday visitors?

Anybody out there willing? C'mon Pet Talkers!! :)

[joycenalex]

rose and gayle, i am sending you middle of the night thoughts and cyber hugs...

[Medusa]

Too bad that you're not in Ohio because you could come to my home. Perhaps the two of you could get together and invite others who may not have anywhere to go for the holidays. When I got divorced, no one invited me so I decided to do the inviting. It was lovely and I've done it every year since. :)

[RICHARD]

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articlecosmo.aspx?cp-documentid=19592609&GT1=32001

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks for the info Richard. Maybe it will help.

For the most part I had a good day today. Until I was riding the train home, listening to my ipod. I started thinking again how unbelievable this whole thing is. Now I'm in a bit of a funk.

Tomorrow my task is to finish my list of the acreage house and what is there.

Not thinking there will be alot of sleeping tonight.

[cassiesmom]

I'm thinking of Rose and Gayle this evening and Gayle, I hope you will get a restful night's sleep.

[Alysser]

Mikey wanted to send a message to you and Rose:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/feelbetterlovemikey.jpg

His note says
' Feel better and sleep like dis

-love mikey'

:p

FEEL BETTER and try and sleep :)

[Queen of Poop]

Mikey wanted to send a message to you and Rose:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/feelbetterlovemikey.jpg

His note says
' Feel better and sleep like dis

-love mikey'

:p

FEEL BETTER and try and sleep :)

Thank you. You made me cry.

[Alysser]

:( That wasn't my initial aim. I hope it wasn't sad tears? I am an idiot, I know. :o I'm sorry if I upset you.

[Queen of Poop]

:( That wasn't my initial aim. I hope it wasn't sad tears? I am an idiot, I know. :o I'm sorry if I upset you.

You didn't, it was just so sweet. Thank you.

[Alysser]

Okay good, I have more with my digi camera too. :) I just need to upload them. I hope it cheered you up a bit, I'm glad I didn't upset you. Thank god, I would've felt horrible.

[Queen of Poop]

Okay good, I have more with my digi camera too. :) I just need to upload them. I hope it cheered you up a bit, I'm glad I didn't upset you. Thank god, I would've felt horrible.

I look forward to seeing more photos. I am cheered, not upset. Thank you for the thought. And please give Mikey a big hug and kiss from me.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Alyssa, that is so nice. You are such a sweetheart!!

Gayle and Rose:::thinking of you both and sending good thoughts out for a wonderful night's sleep and some peace in your lives.:)

[rosethecopycat]

Fank you, Mikey, Daisy & Delilah and Alysser!

Getting close to bedtime for me (and Gayle too, she gets up so dang early)

I have to (want to) stay out of the house all day, so he can 'sort' his stuff.
It's going to be hard, I have no money to spend. I think I'll go to the library for a while. And then I can dine on the dollar menu at McD's.
I'll check in tomorrow night.

Thanks again for all the good thoughts.

[Karen]

Fank you, Mikey, Daisy & Delilah and Alysser!

Getting close to bedtime for me (and Gayle too, she gets up so dang early)

I have to (want to) stay out of the house all day, so he can 'sort' his stuff.
It's going to be hard, I have no money to spend. I think I'll go to the library for a while. And then I can dine on the dollar menu at McD's.
I'll check in tomorrow night.

Thanks again for all the good thoughts.

Oh, the library is perfect - a place to not only hide, but have some peace and quiet, and maybe lose yourself in a book. Better than shopping, IMHO!
(in my humble opinion)

[Medusa]

For the most part I had a good day today. Until I was riding the train home, listening to my ipod. I started thinking again how unbelievable this whole thing is. Now I'm in a bit of a funk.

This will probably happen for quite some time but as time goes on it will be easier to dismiss it from your mind. I've been divorced nearly 14 years and I still have those moments. Really, though, what else can we expect? Our lives have changed dramatically and when it first happens, we're in such a state of upheaval that we don't know which end is up. Your equilibrium will come w/time and memories won't sting as much. Actually, believe it or not, you'll have good memories to look back on and there won't be as much of that "unbelievable" feeling. It'll come. You're doing great. Keep the faythe. :love:

[gini]

The library is a great place to go - and as Karen said - if you find a good book to read - so much the better.

I hope each of you had a good nights rest and that this day is good for you.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I just wanted to send you both some more support. It looks like even the pets of PT are behind you! :)

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks everyone. It's been a pretty good day today. Got most of my list for the acreage house done. Now I need to sit down and really focus on what was where in the kitchen, basement storage, garage and outside, everything else is done. I will have good info for my divorce lawyer on Nov 23. Too much thinking though, I've got a lovely headache now.

Rose, hope you managed to get thru today. How was the library?

[Pinot's Mom]

Well, both of your posts seem to be a little better every day;that's great! A big kitty kiss to each of you from Pinot-girl!:love:

[cassiesmom]

Well, both of your posts seem to be a little better every day;that's great! A big kitty kiss to each of you from Pinot-girl!:love:

and one from Cassie Cat and (((Hugs))) to you from me...
elyse

[Queen of Poop]

Thank you for the kitty kisses and hugs.:D

[Karen]

Hope you are both having a good day today, thinking of you!

[Queen of Poop]

I'm trying to get my head around that fact that I believe he gave me something that has caused 2 big blanks in my life, both of which he was involved in and makes claims about for which I have no recall, knowledge, nothing. :eek:

[cassiesmom]

Hope you are both having a good day today, thinking of you!

I am, too :) !

[Queen of Poop]

Got his version of divorce papers today. He want's it all, everything, lock, stock and barrel only to leave me with NOTHING!!!

Fortunately Alberta law provides 50/50.

I am steaming mad now. I will spend tonight and this weekend finishing up my stuff for my lawyer. No more mr nice guy. Gloves are off.

He poked the bear, the bear is not impressed.

[Karen]

Got his version of divorce papers today. He want's it all, everything, lock, stock and barrel only to leave me with NOTHING!!!

Fortunately Alberta law provides 50/50.

I am steaming mad now. I will spend tonight and this weekend finishing up my stuff for my lawyer. No more mr nice guy. Gloves are off.

He poked the bear, the bear is not impressed.

I am glad you not only know the law, but are willing to fight. I wonder if his lawyer advised him to ask for everything, so you'd be happy if you got anything. Anyway, we'll of course be pulling for you to get as much as possible.

[Daisy and Delilah]

{{{{{GAYLE}}}}} The nerve of some people. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.......:mad: :mad: :mad:

Gayle and Rose::::You two will prevail!!!

[Pinot's Mom]

Got his version of divorce papers today. He want's it all, everything, lock, stock and barrel only to leave me with NOTHING!!!

Fortunately Alberta law provides 50/50.

I am steaming mad now. I will spend tonight and this weekend finishing up my stuff for my lawyer. No more mr nice guy. Gloves are off.

He poked the bear, the bear is not impressed.

Relax, breathe, relax, breathe...

Your lawyer knew this was coming; it's what they're paid for. You are not to stress with this. Think of it as a real estate transaction: when you're buying a house, what is your first "offer" to the seller? You want them to pay EVERYTHING and you pay bottom dollar. This is what your husband is trying to pull. RELAX. It's part of the process...let your lawyer stress...get all your ducks in a row, fight the good fight, and lean on your lawyer...and vent here!

[Queen of Poop]

Relax, breathe, relax, breathe...

Your lawyer knew this was coming; it's what they're paid for. You are not to stress with this. Think of it as a real estate transaction: when you're buying a house, what is your first "offer" to the seller? You want them to pay EVERYTHING and you pay bottom dollar. This is what your husband is trying to pull. RELAX. It's part of the process...let your lawyer stress...get all your ducks in a row, fight the good fight, and lean on your lawyer...and vent here!

I think he figured he had me downtrodden enough that I'd just roll over and give up. He doesn't realize he's awoken the fighting spirit in me. I'm completely calm, but I have a fire inside now. Everything will be done properly, thru the lawyer, but I'm not laying down to die.

[rosethecopycat]

I think he figured he had me downtrodden enough that I'd just roll over and give up. He doesn't realize he's awoken the fighting spirit in me. I'm completely calm, but I have a fire inside now. Everything will be done properly, thru the lawyer, but I'm not laying down to die.


I'm glad you've got that spirit Gayle.

In my state it is a 50/50 divorce rule too. But my husband seems to think it means equal, when in actuality it means equitable or fair.
There's quite a big difference in the two.

Your husband is playing poker now. He's starting off high, so he has somewhere to drop back to. Why not ask for it all, to see if by chance you get it?
There is domestic abuse in your case, which changes matters also.
Hand it all over to your lawyer, the worry and anxiety.

We are thinking of you..

[Pinot's Mom]

We're thinking of both of you - you're doing very well! :)

[Queen of Poop]

I've got my list more or less done. I'm giving it a rest and will review it tomorrow for delivery to my lawyer Tuesday. I worked out with my personal trainer yesterday, felt really good to slam a medicine ball into the floor. Went to hot yoga this morning for 90 minutes, wow, it was great but HOT!!! I'm still pretty angry when I think about it, but I'm also very teary yesterday and today. My birthday is tomorrow and this one's just going to suck. Tuesday will be a month since Sasha died and that's weighing heavily on me too.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Hang in there ladies!! You can do this!!!
{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[Queen of Poop]

Got my name off the phone in his house. Got my new phone number and a great deal from the phone company. The day is starting off well.

[Catty1]

WOOHOO!

Will (hopefully) be back home in a couple of days, and hope I can catch up with you then.

Are you eating, young lady?

Rose - are you eating too?

You each just lost over 100 lbs in nasty fat - and I don't mean your figures!;):D

At some point, go back to your first posts and see how far you have come!:love:

[RICHARD]

My birthday is tomorrow and this one's just going to suck.

NASA is going to shoot off a giant candle on your birthday and you are sad?;)

[Queen of Poop]

NASA is going to shoot off a giant candle on your birthday and you are sad?;)

Actually it's going way better than I had thought. :D

[rosethecopycat]

NASA is going to shoot off a giant candle on your birthday and you are sad?;)


I saw Gayle's candle from my house today. :cool:

[Queen of Poop]

I saw Gayle's candle from my house today. :cool:

Seriously??? That is so cool.

How are you doing Rose?

I'm still having a good day, kind of scary.

Lawyers tomorrow - yikes!

[Daisy and Delilah]

I saw Gayle's candle from my house today. :cool:

I did too, Rose. It was awesome wasn't it? I hope you ladies are both having a fabulous day!!:)

[rosethecopycat]

Best of Luck with the lawyer today, Gayle.
We'll be thinking of you.

I'm not having any 'fabulous' days, just trying to get through one at a time.
Still not sleeping, still crying randomly, no appetite, and it doesn't seem to get any better.
What is the turning point that I am missing?
:(

[Queen of Poop]

Best of Luck with the lawyer today, Gayle.
We'll be thinking of you.

I'm not having any 'fabulous' days, just trying to get through one at a time.
Still not sleeping, still crying randomly, no appetite, and it doesn't seem to get any better.
What is the turning point that I am missing?
:(

Thanks, pretty stressed today. Really dislike having to do all this lawyer stuff. I just want to curl up in a corner and wait for it all to go away sometimes. But I know I have to get it done so I can finally be free of him and his influence.

I think time and actually having everything over and done with will be the turning point for us. I'm still not sleeping, still crying randomly and still have no appetite. Some days are better and there are getting to be more of those than the bad days. But the bad days are still pretty bad. But for different reasons now. I don't miss him, or his kids. I do miss Chance and worry like crazy about that dog.

[Queen of Poop]

I'm in a funk and just want to curl up in a corner and wait for it all to blow over. I wish this was a bad dream and I could wake up in my own bed. I know it's not but this is a hard day and I'm struggling right now.

[rosethecopycat]

I'm in a funk and just want to curl up in a corner and wait for it all to blow over. I wish this was a bad dream and I could wake up in my own bed. I know it's not but this is a hard day and I'm struggling right now.

Hang in there, please. :(
Don't make us worry.

Tomorrow is a different day, so they say.

[Queen of Poop]

Don't worry, I am just having a really, really bad day.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I know we all feel just terrible for both of you. We can only imagine how you feel. It's comforting to know that you're both keeping up each other's spirits. Easy for me to say, but;

Hang in there, ladies. You're both stronger than you think. There are brighter days ahead.

{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[gini]

Without sharing any of my own personal experiences - please know - even while you are really down - that things DO GET BETTER.

Yes, you both are strong and we will all be celebrating your great success. It just takes time.

We are all here for you each step of the way.

You have my prayers and also some warm hugs for right now.

[Pinot's Mom]

...and you've both come so far! Did you take that suggestion to read the beginning of this thread and see how far that is?? I think that's a good idea...

((((hugs)))) to both...

[Moesha]

My neighbor received some good advice from her doctor regarding her recovery from cancer treatments that applies equally in your cases too, I think. You may not be able to tell how much you've improved on a daily basis. You'll have good days and bad days. But if you look back over the time period of a week, you'll notice how far you've come. I eagerly look for any updates in this thread. I wish there was something I could do to help both of you get through this. If a big fuzzy slanket would help, I'd gladly send one to you! I think though that part of the process in situations like this is learning how to get through stuff on your own. Not without support from others, but accomplishing it for yourself. If that makes any sense at all. If not, just know many are thinking of you often!

[Alysser]

I am sorry you guys had such a bad day, I was so happy to hear about your good ones. Please keep fighting through them, because there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Your life improvement is JUST around the corner. KEEP it up, ladies!

and REMEMBER to SMILE:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/mikey039.jpg

I am sorry if I am hijacking this thread with Mikey pics. I hope they are making you feel even the slighest bit better and making that SMILE grow :D
If so, I GOT plenty more where that came from!

(((Hugs))) and hope tomorrow is a better day for you BOTH! :love:

[rosethecopycat]

Keep'em coming.

We like Mikey.

[Queen of Poop]

Keep'em coming.

We like Mikey.

I second that. A slightly better day today, still very near tears, they're mostly of frustration today. But seeing Mikey's picture now made me smile so please don't stop them.

[Queen of Poop]

I came back to look at Mikey again for my daily dog fix!!! Thanks, that picture still makes me smile.

Spent an hour and a half with my counsellor this evening. OMG she is wonderful. I can't sleep because my body wants me to deal with what all has gone on. She will help me with that and eventually I will sleep again. Basically he has traumatized me and recovery is possible. She says I need to get angry and try to stay there for a while, it will help to get healthy.

I also made the trek to my divorce lawyers today, paid the fee, left her his paperwork, my list of what I want and a few other details. I have an appointment with her Monday.

[Karen]

Sounds like a good, productive day. All important steps toward a better future.

[Pinot's Mom]

And how are you two on this wonderful Thursday?

[Queen of Poop]

And how are you two on this wonderful Thursday?

I am doing much better after my counselling session last evening. Thank you for asking! I am getting my nails done tonight and am really looking forward to that. There should be nothing going on today with regard to him so it looks to be a really good day.

Rose, how are you my dear?

Mikey, still love that last picture, it makes me smile every time!

[ChrisH]

Gayle & Rose I have just been reading through this for the first time and may I say I think you are both incredible women and, though you may not think so, are really doing so well on that road to fuller and much better life.

I will be keeping you both in my prayers.
Love and http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v11/CwmmawrJet/Smiles/Hugs2.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v11/CwmmawrJet/Smiles/Hugs2.gif

[Queen of Poop]

Back for my morning Mikey fix!! :D

Got bad news last night, my mom's sister's cancer has returned and she has been given 2-6 months to live.

When it rains it pours. Hello, angels above, I'm getting tired of being WET!!! Need some help here, please!! Won't someone pay attention??

I looked back in my posts and discovered that the California incident was in 2008!!!! From that I have been able to piece together what has gone on since them. I was sure it was longer ago than that.

Feeling really tired, kind of hungry and a yet bit stronger today than yesterday.

[Queen of Poop]

My workbook came today. It is called: Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence, a workbook for women.

In the first few pages it is bang on.

Hopefully working thru this will help me heal.

Still loving the Mikey photo!

[Catherinedana]

When it rains it pours. Hello, angels above, I'm getting tired of being WET!!! Need some help here, please!! Won't someone pay attention??


They are paying attention, dear lady. They have opened your eyes and your heart to your predicament. They have brought you back to life. And sometimes life hurts very, very much. But then you heal and you are stronger, wiser and even more beautiful than ever before.

:love:
Cathy

[Catty1]

Prayers for your aunt, Gayle. Did she smoke also?

Even if she did, it just sucks and is sad! HUGS

Hope you are doing well, Rose!

[rosethecopycat]

Well,

I went to read the settlement document over today. Didn't make it very far before bursting into tears.


We, Rosemary Lupo Rottmayer and Christopher Allen Rottmayer, being sworn, certify that the following statements are true:

1. We were married to each other on February 22, 1998.
2. Because of irreconcilable differences in our marriage (no chance of staying together), we have made this agreement to settle once and for all what we owe to each other and what we can expect to receive from each other.

I am SO sad. :(

I am still staggered by the swiftness and ease with which he discarded me.

I am getting to the point, with friends I've spoken with, are telling me to: not to be angry, or hateful. Not to let it ruin my life. I have to go out and try new things (I have crippling introversion)
None of that is appealing right now.
The reality is that no one can know how empty my life feels right now.

Gayle I'm happy there is a book out there that addresses what you've gone through. I cannot IMAGINE. And your therapy session sounds hopeful too.
Thinking of you.

This part is for you Richard-
A positive step. Trying to get tough....

With the Holidays rapidly approaching, and me not wanting to celebrate nor have them pass as any ordinary day. I am going to volunteer to feed the needy somewhere. At the very least, I can be helpful to someone.

[Karen]

With the Holidays rapidly approaching, and me not wanting to celebrate nor have them pass as any ordinary day. I am going to volunteer to feed the needy somewhere. At the very least, I can be helpful to someone.

Rose, I have a suggestion for you about the holidays. Many of the people in nursing homes these days are "orphans" - folks with no family or friends to visit them. In many cases, they have outlived family members and friends, and no one ever visits them. So that might be a good, productive thing to to - spend some time visiting with some old folks on the holidays. I bet the front desk, or the social workers at any hospital can tell you who is loneliest, and might want a visit.

One very beloved person I knew said once, when I visited her, "maybe I never should have had a family, so I wouldn't feel so awful when they don't visit." Her two grown kids had relocated to the West Coast, but that didn't ease her loneliness, especially at the holidays.

[rosethecopycat]

Wow, Karen.

I am thinking that is going to be me someday too.
I have no children.

I will try to work that in. I already know of a place.

Thanks,

Rose

[Pinot's Mom]

They are paying attention, dear lady. They have opened your eyes and your heart to your predicament. They have brought you back to life. And sometimes life hurts very, very much. But then you heal and you are stronger, wiser and even more beautiful than ever before.

:love:
Cathy

Rose and Gayle - BINGO!! So well said!!

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, I am so sorry that you feel discarded. Remember, it is his loss. A woman like that will never remain with him for long and then he will be the lost and lonely party. By then you will have moved on and made a brand new life for yourself. You are strong, you just need to put your mind to it and you can do anything. I think visiting the elderly is an awesome idea for your Thanksgiving holiday. You're welcome to come visit me if you need to get away completely. No snow here yet. I too worry about being alone as I age. But then I look at the teenagers out there these days and figure I'm better off without one of those. They just don't have the same sense of responsibility we have so likely would just stick me in a home and forget about me. Worst case you and I can figure a way to take care of each other as we get old. But sorry, I'm not changing your diaper!!!! Hope that gave you a giggle. :D

[Alysser]

Okay, I have to give you both a Mikey fix. He has something to say :)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/Image6.jpg
K, so i gotsa bone to pick with these two guys who have been "buggin" you girls. you ladies don't deserves the treatment they gave you and i for one will do everything in my power to make you feel better :D I gots that ability wit the ladies.

Oks sooo I have a story for you. One time der was this girl and she was way different from me..she was brown and really really short..and had kinda a squeeky voice, but despite our differences we fells in love. And hey, as a mom says "if a guy like you can find love, why can't eberybody?" So, der you have it. I guess what I am sayin is love dos not always come in da first package. But you ladies are great gals, so I say you'll have no trouble findin' a *RIGHT* prince charming that'll make your life a HOLE lot better. O, and don't use any excuses cuz love dos not have any boundaries. For now though, i will always be here to make you feel better if I can :) I am a ladies man if I do say so myself ;)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/mikey086.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/mikey087.jpg


SO SMILE :D Live life da way you ALWAYS wanted - and live it for YOURSELFS until you are ready!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/mikey004-2.jpg

Wuv,
Mikey :love:

[Queen of Poop]

Love the Mikey pictures and thank you for the story. The last picture with the tongue is just too funny. Thank you both.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Rose, just remember, what goes around comes around. One day, that @%$*&#$ will get his and he'll get it good. One day, he's going to wake up and realize what he's done and wish he hadn't. Believe me. Rose, your day is coming!! Chin up!! You are a great lady and you can get through this!!!
{{{{{ROSE AND GAYLE}}}}}

[Queen of Poop]

Having a really bad afternoon/evening. Doing alot of crying. Stopped by for a look at the Mikey pics for a bit of a pick me up. Wondering also how you are doing Rose.

[Karen]

Awww, sending you a big virtual hug. Have a good cup of something strong and warm, and let it warm you heart as well as your hands, and know you are loved.

[Queen of Poop]

Thank you Karen. Yesterday was a very bad day for me. Today is a bit better but I'm so very nervous and stressed. I see MY divorce lawyer in and hour and a half. My stomach is in knots. My IBS is acting up. I shouldn't be this stressed seeing MY lawyer. I'm taking her all the info I could gather that is required plus alot that is for her info on the history of this awful relationship. Hopefully this goes well and we can all be grown ups and reach a settlement sooner rather than later. I really want my Christmas decorations, the rest of my clothes, a bed, etc.

[RICHARD]

This part is for you Richard-
A positive step. Trying to get tough....



I was hoping you were going to start training to become a cage fighter?;)

Good on you!

QoP and Rose,

Remember as you go along and get the HARD things out of your way?

The rest are smaller, easier and you'll both, at some point, look back and laugh at the hardship you are going thru.

Remember,

Time wounds all heels.


Or something like that!

[Alysser]

You just gots to keep smilin' - I'm tellin' you it's infectious :D:love:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/8227_178693048571_712523571_3811685.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/9719_194783728571_712523571_3964178.jpg

[Catty1]

Gayle, how did things go with the lawyer? I hope getting the first visit done took a load off!

Rose, I hope you are doing well...if I recall right, the legal thing has been drawn out and awful for you. Prayers that it gets resolved SOON.

{{{hugs}}} to both of you.

[Queen of Poop]

My lawyer is good and she's really funny. Clearly she does this alot and deals with crappy husbands alot. We're going to scare the pants off of him. Whereas he wanted it all, it totally doesn't work that way. I'd better not say what the plan is here, just incase he snoops, but I wish I could see his mouth drop! Feeling pretty good right now.

Thanks for the Mikey fix. I really love that dog!!!!

[Alysser]

Woo! This IS the news you've (AND WE!) have been waiting for! I cannot wait to hear about all the jaw dropping appearance. I really am glad my handsome man is helping you out, even just a little. He really does have that effect.

[Pinot's Mom]

I knew your lawyer had a plan!! Good news-and being more specific, you're right, is not a good idea. He can easily find his way here. Good job!:)

[phesina]

Far-fantastic-out, Gayle! Three cheers for a great lawyer!

P.S., a candle for you, too: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/message.cfm?l=eng&cid=9637944

[phesina]

A candle for you too, Rose: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/message.cfm?l=eng&cid=9637999

Thinking of you and sending you love and energy at Thanksgiving..

From Pat, one of your many, many PetTalk friends (and my cats, Sydney, Poppy, Elmer, Bob, and Sparkler, also)

[rosethecopycat]

Thank you all very much.

My 'husband' signed the settlement agreement today. It's not quite 'in stone' until the gavel sounds, but if he goes back on it now, my lawyer will cry 'foul'.
And the judge will not look kindly on him.

It is a great relief. But, all I really wanted was a loving husband to go through life with...

[gini]

It sounds so trite to say this - but when one door slams shut another will open - and behind that door is peace, newfound strength and happiness.

I wish that for both of you!

[Queen of Poop]

Thank you all very much.

My 'husband' signed the settlement agreement today. It's not quite 'in stone' until the gavel sounds, but if he goes back on it now, my lawyer will cry 'foul'.
And the judge will not look kindly on him.

It is a great relief. But, all I really wanted was a loving husband to go through life with...

He was not the right one for you sweetie. Give it time, good things are coming, or so everyone tells me. I am glad he signed the agreement. Doubtful he will go against it now. I wish I could share your relief, I envy you that you're pretty much done. Give yourself a pat on the back from me. You've done good. You will find happiness again, probably sooner than you think and much sooner than I ever will. I am happy for you.:D

[Daisy and Delilah]

I just want to wish both of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope both of you are able to have a wonderful day in spite of everything. I know it's going to be hard this year but your PT family is with both of you. You're both stronger than you think. I really believe you'll both be so much happier next year at this time.:)

{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[Alysser]

I just wanted to wish you too ladies and Happy Thanksgiving! :D

Love, Alyssa and Mikey :love:

ENJOY yourselves - even if you don't have turkey, make it a good day!

[Karen]

Rose, now you can call him your "has-been" instead of husband! ;)

Happy Thanksgiving, I know yours was last month, Gayle, but you have friends here who are thankful that you and Rose are both safer this Thanksgiving!

[RICHARD]

Sit down and write out all your good qualities.

Then lie about your bad qualities as you put those down.......;)

Love yourself first, then you can love the rest of the 3 point whatever billion, zillion people on the planet.

The world is at your front door.
The only reason you never realize it is because
it cannot knock or ring.:cool:

[Queen of Poop]

Thank you all. I am very, very grateful for all of you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

[Queen of Poop]

I have some good news to share. Our accountant is sending me all the tax records that I need and Revenue Canada is going to do the same, so him not letting me have access to my Tax file is a moote point now.

I have to say I was really impressed with the dude at Revenue Canada, he was over the top helpful and very nice. Totally not what I was expecting at all.

It's put a smile on my face! :)

And I'd like to send this to my very soon to be ex-husband :p

[Pinot's Mom]

Good morning Gayle - you're sounding downright chipper! That's wonderful! I hope it continues!:)

Rose, how are things in your neck of the woods?

[Queen of Poop]

I have my ups and downs, but it feels good when I can get something done that seemed at first to be lost. Weekends are the hardest, I spend alot of time alone and that gives me too much time to think.

Rose, did you get thru thanksgiving ok, you had a great plan.

[rosethecopycat]

Good morning Gayle - you're sounding downright chipper! That's wonderful! I hope it continues!:)

Rose, how are things in your neck of the woods?

I was completely occupied on Thanksgiving!
I got up at 6am (Gayle-I know that's late for you- but it's butt early for me)
I gathered my loaves of bread and went downtown Orlando to meet in a parking lot. We loaded the goods into the back of a pick up. (I'm thinking-it's 8am-how are these bags going to turn themselves into breakfast?:confused:)
They led us one block away, there on the street was a set-up of tables. There were already another group of people lining them, elbow to elbow. Food all over the place, hot food, toiletries, socks, underwear, blankets, clothes.
Myself and the group were told that there is not much to do, that we should talk to the people (not my strong suit:rolleyes:) and see if they need anything. The volunteers outnumbered the people 2:1.
I planted myself at the end of the food, where people were offered socks, and such. I held their plate of food, while they gathered the amenities. Then I would walk them over to where they wanted to sit, which was on the street or the curb. Everyone was extremely grateful.
Then I was placed on the 'mobile syrup unit'. Three volunteers went through the crowd offering extra pancakes. I doused them with syrup. (now I am all sticky). So that was the extent of that experience.
I went to my friends house for lunch. After that I went to the Salvation Army. Golden Corral sponsored this event, which fed 129,000 meals.
I found the tent for volunteer registration. After trying to pre-arrange my presence, I still found myself in the 'unconfirmed volunteer' line. (which means no T-Shirt) I got a plain name tag. We were corralled into a waiting area and separated off in groups of 17. The woman told my group: we don't have much for you to do, but you can go in and talk to the people (:rolleyes:) I filtered into the building. My introversion kicked in and I was plastered against the wall. I decided to try again. Back out to the corral. "We don't have much for you to do....please talk to the people...."
Now, because I don't have a T-shirt, volunteers are asking me if I need anything!:eek::mad:
I found my way to the exit, where volunteers were handing out toiletry bags and stuffed animals. I asked if they needed any help, and one woman actually told me "no, not really..." I told her that a lot of people don't have anything to do, and I pushed myself in the line up. Eventually somebody handed me a T-shirt (2XL- :eek::p) I was like the 8th person in the line trying to hand out goodies. The 'aggressive' women and a child were at the beginning of the line, and handed out the vast majority of goods. There were two young adults trying to hand out the same, to the right of me, but they were getting 'no action'. I suggested to the 'aggressives' that the young people get to change positions to the left, so they can feel like they are helping tool. (which is important for young volunteers :D)
I took to sorting the boxes of toiletry bags, as some had specific things that people were looking for. (I'm a born sorter)

Overall it was a good experience. I learned a lot. There is an over abundance of volunteers willing to help. Is it only on the holidays? What about the rest of the year?

The one thing I noticed that in this huge gymnasium of people eating, there was no entertainment. Not even piped in music. I want to try and borrow my friend's 'track machine' so I could possibly go there and play live flute w/tracks of Christmas music. I will look into this if they are serving food on Christmas day, that way I won't have to be the 8th person with toiletry bags. :p

That's all for now, I'll tell about my Thanksgiving evening soon.....

----while trying to post this- I got a notice that "I have used 13 images-the limit is 10- so I have deleted some of my smilies : (
- Ah, there goes my freedom of creative writing.) Hahaha...
did you see how I got one in there manually! : )

[Catty1]

Wow - what a great and busy day for you, Rose!

My mom is asking about what we are doing for Christmas again this year. I think we should volunteer at the Mustard Seed dinner in Calgary. Wonderful event, wonderful bunch of people. Live entertainment - I did that for several years, a lot of musicians donate 30 minutes or more.

Gayle - hugs, the weekends will become friends again. :love:

[Daisy and Delilah]

Both of you ladies should be proud of yourselves for how well you're doing. We're all very proud of you. I'm thrilled to hear such encouraging news. Brighter days are in view!! YAY!!!
{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}:D :D :D

[Queen of Poop]

Wow Rose, good for you girl!!! Sounds like it was an excellent day. And do I detect a hint of feeling better?? You sound very positive.

I've gone to the gym, shopped, laundry, vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom! Good to keep busy. I found some cinammon scented pinecones. They're scenting up my place now!

Managing ok today.

[rosethecopycat]

The rest of the story of Thanksgiving evening...

I did feel pretty good about how I managed to spend the holiday.
Then I got an email from 'husband':

Rose,

I know things are terrible right now but I would like to wish you a happy thanksgiving. I hope you are with with Bob and Babs [neighbors]. I'm working all day which is what I wanted and I should get some nice food at one of these hotels.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Chris



:mad::eek::(:confused::mad:

I am so upset, it tipped me over the edge. I find it SO insensitive.
He's hoping the neighbors are 'tending' to me, for the mess he's caused. And
I wasn't really caring about the kind of food he stood to get on Thanksgiving...

Sorry, but it set me off crying again. I have no control.

Today on the Facebook, him and her changed their status from Married to
In a Relationship.
My pix have been deleted off his profile pictures.
I went to change my status from Married to Widowed.
But I can't get the change to 'stick'. I use the Edit Profile, Save changes, Done with Editing, etc. But it always reverts back to Married.:mad:
(any Facebookers out there can lend me a hand to get it to read the way I want it to? I don't really use Facebook)

I am still not any 'better' but as we go into the Holidays, isn't it just too much to expect? (Callate Richard :p) Still not sleeping. I wish I could just command myself to sleep, but it doesn't work that way.
Maybe I'll start feeling better come January.

[Queen of Poop]

What a horrible thing for him to do. Why don't you block him from your email. Give him a taste of being shut out. I have done that with mine. I am not sure what to do about your facebook status, guess I will find out when I try to change mine, when it's true that I am no longer married to him.

I am sorry that he set you to crying. I send you a big hug and offer a small shoulder to cry on.

You're doing loads better. This is just a tiny setback. There will be those, I have them too. Look how proud and how good you felt doing what you did before you got his note!! Focus on that now, not how is note made you feel. Focus on the GOOD!!

If it's possible I am sleeping even less than before. So much runs thru my mind. I was told to get a box and put those night time troubling thoughts into it because there was no fixing them in the night, then retrieving them from the box in the morning when able to deal. So far I've not done this but maybe you want to try.

I feel for you sweetie. You're in my thoughts constantly. I am glad we can lean on each other here, I wish we were closer. I don't know how I'd get thru this without your help, support, friendship. In my books you're the BEST!!!! :D

[rosethecopycat]

Gayle-I cannot block my email as we have to work out details, such as when he's coming to the house, and business things. If I didn't have email access, I'd have to speak to him by phone.

I am surprised to hear that you are getting even less sleep. I'm so sorry. But that is the one thing that I feel is 'way out of our control' We can make ourselves eat, and go out, work out and accomplish things. But the sleep is the elusive issue. And without sleep, we wind down.

I appreciate your support too, and all who have read the pages of our trials.

If I ever read of anybody else's pain of divorce, I will definitely be looking at it from a different perspective now. Not as an outside observer, but someone who can empathize with the pain involved. I hope that anyone else here on PT could have the courage to post about their problems. When you are alone as I am, it is a tremendous help to know that people are out there that honestly care, even though you've never seen them in person. That is awesome.

Let us find something good tomorrow....

[Alysser]

Upon hearing this I felt I should post these better quality pics I took of Mikey awhile ago for you guys rather then the one from my phone:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/Image25.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v708/bobbernut/Image24.jpg


:love:

[rosethecopycat]

I sure am going to try Mikey!

Fank Yu!

[Queen of Poop]

Oh Mikey. If only I could. I've started having nightmares now. The last 3 nights have been horrible. I know, you need to come visit me and sleep beside me, be my inspiration!! Thank you for sharing more Mikey pictures. They sure do warm my heart.

[Karen]

Okay, Gayle - time to take charge of the nightmares - try to do that. In your dream, turn the situation around, like find yourself a way out of the burning building, etc. Try it, maybe it'll work!

Or go to sleep imagining Mikey curled beside you, ready to chase away any bad guys!