It's over...

[Queen of Poop]

... my marriage that is.

It's about time for it to be done. No more abuse.

Hiding out in Sundre at my parents right now.

Feeling awful, hurt, can't believe things are what they are.

Managed though to get an air card so I can get back online.

[Karen]

Sending you great big hugs. Anything we can do from here, you let us know. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is also the best thing for you, and this sounds like one of those times.

More hugs, and we are proud of you, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

[Catty1]

{{{{hugs}}}} I had wondered how you were, and was praying for you the whole time.

Do you have any friends who could foster your furbabies until you are settled? Anyone I can contact for you?

HUGS and let us know what you need! :love:

[Grace]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
You've just done the toughest thing - walking away.

[pomtzu]

Sometimes the easiest solution is one of the most difficult things to do. Walking away before it gets worse is sometimes the only way.

I hope things will get better for you now. Good luck and God bless.

[Medusa]

I don't know the details and I don't need to know because I would never pry into your personal affairs. Just know that my prayers are going up that you'll find peace in your heart, mind, soul and life. Divorce is never easy but sometimes it is necessary. Your PT family is here for you. (((HUGS))) Keep the faythe. :love:

[Queen of Poop]

Thank you everyone. I'm darn near falling apart now. Candace, I don't really have any friends, that wasn't allowed so I have loads of work to do now. I need to find a place in Calgary so I can get back to work. For now, the kittens, Sasha and I will stay here with my parents while I try to get my life together. I just wish I didn't feel so awful.

[Karen]

You have us, dear one! Count on all of us for any emotional support we can give you, okay? Just making that decision I am sure took every ounce of strength you had left. Have a nice cup of tea - or hot chocolate - and when you inhale the steam, think the following:

I am a good person
My animals love me, need me, and count on me
There are people in this world who love me
I am worthy of friendship and respect
I am a survivor
Every day after this one will be better, and better
Pet Talkers love me!

[caseysmom]

Your doing the right thing, hang in there and keep your head up. {{hugs}}

[DJFyrewolf36]

My prayers are with you *HUGS*

[KYS]

As Medusa said, Divorce is never easy but sometimes necessary.
Sending you (((hugs.)))

[Catty1]

Gayle, this is for adult children of alcoholics. Even if alcohol is not a factor, there is strength in here that I hope you find.

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn’t get.
2. I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now — not just a momentary rush of euphoria but something more substantive.
3. I have a right to relax and have fun in a nonalcoholic and nondestructive way.
4. I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
5. I have the right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
6. I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive “crazy-making” behavior of parents, of siblings, and of others.
7. I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies.
8. I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations.
9. I have a right to “mess up”; to make mistakes, to “blow it”, to disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
10. I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my alcoholic relative, my nonalcoholic relatives, or any other member of my family.
11. I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
12. I have a right to all my feelings.
13. I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition.
14. I have a right to develop myself as a whole person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.
15. I have a right to express all my feelings in a nondestructive way and at a safe time and place.
16. I have a right to as much time as I need to experiment with this new information and these new ideas and to initiate changes in my life.
17. I have a right to sort out the bill of goods my parents sold me — to take the acceptable and dump the unacceptable.
18. I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence, though it will deviate in part, or all, from my parents' prescribed philosophy of life.
19. I have a right to carve out my place in this world.
20. I have a right to follow any of the above rights, to live my life the way I want to, and not wait until my alcoholic relative gets well, gets happy, seeks help, or admits there is a problem.

[cassiesmom]

As Medusa said - I don't know the details - but I'm praying and sending (((HUGS))) for you.

[blue]

I can think of a few web sites where members would be grabbing rubber hoses, sharpening pitchforks, lighting torches and heading to the soon to be ex's house.

QOP, good for you for getting out. Stay strong.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I've also wondered for a long time how things were going at your house, Gayle. I am so glad to hear you've made this choice. Like blue said:::Stay Strong!! We're here for you. PM to me is always open and I'll be ready. You've done the right thing. No one deserves to be treated like you have and especially for so long.:(

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks everyone. It is so good to have support. You just don't know. I'm back to ask for prayers and good thoughts. I've found a place to rent, where I could have the kittens with me. It's only 1000 per month, with 200 on top for utilities. It would be fully furnished. I need good thoughts to make them get back to me and let me have the place.

As a side note, Sasha is not doing well and I am afraid I am going to have to make the final decision for her on top of all the other stuff I am going thru. She looks at me with tired eyes and seems to be in so much pain, even though she's still on her pain meds.

I don't know how I'm going to get thru all this.

[RICHARD]

I don't know how I'm going to get thru all this.

Today's problems belong to yesterday, tomorrow.

One day at a time and will get thru it.

Or you can give up now, lie down, roll up into a little ball and not be bothered.:eek:


You will get thru this, it just takes time and patience. Everyone has time-patience is something that is a little bit harder to come by, but it's there.

Prayers needed?
Prayers sent.

[Asiel]

So sorry QOP but quoting Medussa. I'll keep you in my thoughts and keep my fingers crossed for that apartment you hope to get.
One day at a time is the best way to cope , but hoping that decision for your fur friend can be put off.

[Catty1]

Prayers you get that apartment.

You just need to deal with today, even one moment at a time.

Dear dear Sasha...prayers for her and you.

And...the ex contacts your LAWYER, not you.

Does your company have an EAP where you might get some counselling, even to just unload? Get all the support you can, hon!

[phesina]

My good wishes and prayers for you, Gayle, as you go through this difficult and trying period in your life. I lit a candle too: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/message.cfm?l=eng&cid=9374572

[rosethecopycat]

I feel for you deeply, as someone in the same situation. My eleven year marriage ended yesterday, as he betrayed me.

I know just where your head is now, I am lost and very alone now, as well.

If you wish to PM me, we can let our hearts out and pick up the pieces.

Rose

[Medusa]

Goodness, I'm sorry to hear of such sadness. Prayers are going up for you, too, Rosethecopycat. :)

[Pinot's Mom]

Prayers for both of you, Gayle and Rose. I cannot imagine what you're going through, but you've both taken the first positive step in getting your life back. Keep that momentum going!

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, I am so sorry. I know just how you feel. It SUCKS!!!

Candace, I've talked with the EAP people.

I've found a condo, I'm going tomorrow to view and sign up. Figure I'll be back to a "normal" life by Wednesday.

Today is likely Sasha's last day. She just seems so tired. It's such an effort for her to lay down or get up. I'm just not sure I can do it. I've had her for 14 years.

[Catty1]

Gayle, I am glad you have the EAP and are looking at the condo...at least you will have a base to work from and make home for a while.

I really feel for you with poor Sasha. At this point in your life, with so much emotion going on, the advice to put your own feelings second to what is best for Sasha is going to be difficult, if not seeming to be downright cruel.

If today is the day that Sasha flies to the Bridge, can one of your parents go with you? Do you have any friends in Sundre? Heck...I can be there in an hour. Let me know.

Maybe there is a vet that would come to the house, whenever the decision is made.

Sasha has had several more years of being loved and doing better because of your devotion to her. Others would have given up on her quite a while ago.

{{{{hugs}}}}:love:

[Queen of Poop]

The vet here in Sundre won't cremate and give me her ashes in an urn. So I will take Sasha with me to Calgary tomorrow morning and we will see our own vet. I don't know how I will carry on without her. My whole life is crumbling. But I think it's best for her. It is so painful to watch her try to move around and get comfortable.

[Catty1]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

[lvpets2002]

:love: I will aggree.. Sending Huggss.. I ended my Horrible Marriage 13 years ago & have not looked back.. I know its so hard & painfull.. However I feel yours is for the best..
I don't know the details and I don't need to know because I would never pry into your personal affairs. Just know that my prayers are going up that you'll find peace in your heart, mind, soul and life. Divorce is never easy but sometimes it is necessary. Your PT family is here for you. (((HUGS))) Keep the faythe. :love:

[Karen]

I don't know how I will carry on without her.

But the good part is, you won;t be carrying on without her, as she will be with you always in spirit. Her pain and suffering will be over, and she will become your own furry guardian angel, with you every step of the way as you begin your new future. I promise.

And Rose, we are thinking of you, too. We love you!

[rosethecopycat]

Hi,

My intent was not to highjack this thread with my own troubles, this is about Gayle and her Sasha right now. I just wanted her to know that somewhere in the world out there, somebody is going through the same thing as her.

Lighting a candle and singing soft songs for Sasha.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Having experienced very similar situations, I hope you ladies can talk and be a great support for each other. My heart breaks for both of you. My thoughts and prayers go out to each of your situations. It's so incredibly difficult. Believe me, I know.:(

Gayle and Rose, please stay strong. My prayers go out to Sasha too. How awful to go through two horrid things at once. This is so sad.:( :( :(

{{{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}}} :(

[slick]

I'm so very sorry :(

My brother and sil divorced a year or two ago after 27 years of marriage and now, I've never seen them happier. My brother has found a companion (from the internet...) and I've met her. Very nice lady - from my side it's just phunny to see him with someone other than my sil. My sil purchased her own townhouse and is travelling up a storm. I have to agree that it was the best thing for them.

Having never been married, I can't say "I know how you feel" because I don't. I only know the pain of a long-term relationship breakup. I suppose all I can say is take it one day at a time. With the love and support you receive here and among your friends and family, you will get through this. Just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

{{{hugs}}}

[dukedogsmom]

I haven't had the chance to read later posts but I'm so glad you're free of that! I've been in an abusive marriage and it's hell. I'm so happy you found the strength to make this happen. You're way better than that. If you ever need to talk, pm me, ok?