Etiquette question?

[M&M's Mommy]

How do you let your co-worker know that he smells horrible & that he needs deodorant so badly? LOL. It was noticeble, but never this bad before, now that my nose is super sensitive due to the pregnancy, it becomes a huge problem for me. I feel nauseous & my head aches everytime he's around!

Luckily for me he doesn't sit anywhere near my desk, but it doesn't take much, just us passing each other down the hallway is enough to make me want to throw up.

He's a super nice guy whose feelings I do NOT want to hurt. Our work occasionally requires him to report to my desk (which I dread)... but he doesn't have to do it. He can ask others to do it for him LOL. Is there a nice way to ask him to stay as far away from me as possible for the next 6 months? :o

So far, I've had a pretty good pregnancy with no sickness nor loss of appetite or sleep.. I'm perfectly fine except for the time I'm forced to be near this one particular co-worker!

Help?

[pomtzu]

Maybe a not so subtle hint - like leave a package (anonymously) at his desk, that contains body wash and deodorant.

Myself and some co-workers did this once to an offending party in our office. It worked, and she never knew who left the goody bag! :D


Wow - my post # is my house #. I wonder if that has any significance??? It was at 2328.

[Asiel]

Sounds like the only way to get the message across, not a bad idea, sometimes these people don't realize they sweat as much as they do and are offensive, could be an underlying condition but the body wash and deodorant should do it.

Post and house no. the same. Not only that but you also have 2 dogs pomtzu....maybe you'll find a toonie somewhere....:D

[happylabs]

Oh my gosh I remember how certain smells bothered me when I was pregnant and that was 20some years ago!

I wonder if he has no smelling sense? My brother does not have any sense of smell at all. He asks me sometimes if he smells okay and he always does.

I really don't know what the best thing to do would be. I love those Axe products for men. Maybe you could take a collection for that stuff but it still may offend him. Does he have enough money to buy soap and deod?

Not to change the subject but when I was pregnant with my son I remember going to the grocery store and getting to the aisle next to where the laundry detergents are. I had to leave the store because the smell was so strong. Now that I think of it I don't even notice that aisle. Funny how pregnancy does that to you.

Good Luck!

[Pinot's Mom]

The only thing I can suggest is to present it as a health issue to his supervisor (hopefully that's not you!).

[Taz_Zoee]

Yes, I was going to say talk to yours or his supervisor. Definitely.

[M&M's Mommy]

Oh my gosh I remember how certain smells bothered me when I was pregnant and that was 20some years ago!

That's what I thought, too. His odor is bad but it's bearable has my nose not suddenly become super sensitive - so I kinda blame my nose more than I do him.

This morning he came to my desk, and almost immediately I gagged for air. I swear if he stays for a couple more minutes I would pass out. He was so concern and kept asking if I needed him to bring me water or something prolonging his stay at my cube! All the while I was wishing for him to leave me as quickly as possible but I couldn't open my mouth to say so!

I guess I just didn't have it in me to tell him that HE's my problem! lol So I excused myself to the bathroom, cutting short his visit.

Others seem to notice, but do not seem to have as bad of a problem with him as I do. So maybe my best solution is to actively avoid him & excuse myself from him the second our business is done!

[Queen of Poop]

Or you could just pull him aside and confide in him that with the pregnancy your sense of smell has become super sensitive and certain smells including his deoderant really bother you. See where that gets you.

[lvpets2002]

:) This is what I would have suggested.. We did that to a couple of people here at my work in the past & it worked as well..
Maybe a not so subtle hint - like leave a package (anonymously) at his desk, that contains body wash and deodorant.

Myself and some co-workers did this once to an offending party in our office. It worked, and she never knew who left the goody bag! :D


Wow - my post # is my house #. I wonder if that has any significance??? It was at 2328.

[pomtzu]

Others seem to notice, but do not seem to have as bad of a problem with him as I do. So maybe my best solution is to actively avoid him & excuse myself from him the second our business is done!

Maybe others just don't know how to approach the problem. You shouldn't have to put up with it if it's actually making you sick. Maybe you should take it to his supervisor or the H.R. manager and let them handle it.

And maybe he really doesn't know that he smells bad. My DIL has no sense of smell and I'm always her "smeller" for perfumes, room sprays, candles, etc. :D

I remember being sensitive to certain smells when I was pregnant. The smell of eggs cooking was enough to make me hurl - and my ex just had to cook eggs for breakfast every weekend! :eek::(

[M&M's Mommy]

Or you could just pull him aside and confide in him that with the pregnancy your sense of smell has become super sensitive and certain smells including his deoderant really bother you. See where that gets you.

I love the guy & have a great working relationship with him, but right now, even passing him in a hallway is something I'd avoid at all costs, lets alone spending time talking to him!. His is the only smell that horrifies me so far. Maybe I can talk to my supervisor & ask her to take my place when he has to come over (he'll have to call me to make sure I'm at my desk, so I'll always know when he's about to come over)

My supervisor is a very sweet, understanding & discreet person.. so I think she'll keep it a secret & won't cause him any troubles.

[caseysmom]

How can someone not know they smell is beyond me...I can't go to work without a shower...no way.

[Karen]

It is easy not to know how you smell - the nose gets tired of the same smell after a while.

It might be kindest, if you can bring yourself to do it, to say something to him. Just say "Bob, this is awkward, but there's something about the way you smell that really is bothering now that I am pregnant. Maybe you could change your deodorant or something ... I don't want to embarrass you, but that's why I haven't been able to be near you much lately. Or, leave him an anonymous "gift" of grooming products as others suggested.

[caseysmom]

Well this is gross but I can tell if I smell...I got sick of myself when I was injured and didn't bathe everyday...I knew :o

[M&M's Mommy]

It is easy not to know how you smell - the nose gets tired of the same smell after a while.

It might be kindest, if you can bring yourself to do it, to say something to him. Just say "Bob, this is awkward, but there's something about the way you smell that really is bothering now that I am pregnant. Maybe you could change your deodorant or something ... I don't want to embarrass you, but that's why I haven't been able to be near you much lately. Or, leave him an anonymous "gift" of grooming products as others suggested.

Someone on the other forum suggested Vicks vapor rub.. I'm going to try to get some tonight.. Hopefully it'll help.

At this point, I've yet had any problems smelling any foods, cleaning supplies, or other things pregnant women may have problems with. The only thing that I really cannot stand so far is my co-worker!

I may suddenly dislike the smell of Clorox, but it doesn't give me such a strong reaction like this guy's odor does. I get dizzy just as he approaches, nauseous when he's here, and begin to feel light-headed (like I'm about to loose consciousness) after only a few minutes being in close proximity to him. I know it sounds mean, but he has the most unpleasant smell I've ever experienced...

I did notice his strong body odor before, but could hold my breath & was fine. Now that I'm pregnant, it's 100 times worse! While it may be best to talk to him myself, I just can't imagine doing that right now.

[Husky_mom]

you can tell him.. that he needs to change deodorant/ cologne or whatever he´s using as your pregnancy has triggered a super sensitive sense of smell and you just can´t take it.. that way he won´t feel as he smells bad.. because you are not literally saying that he should use deodorant, just change brand..


once i had a co-worker that never took a bath... he could easily go 2 weeks without one.. and even use the same stinky clothes :eek: ... one time we´ve all had enough about giving hints and running away form him that he was told directly to take a bath that he stenched (he literally left an odor path wherever he passed by).... and he said if you don´t like it, it´s not my problem.... what?!.. he was aware of that.. he just didn´t cared... and what´s worse... haha.. he had a girlfriend.. poor girl.. unless she was the same..lol...

[Husky_mom]

you can tell him.. that he needs to change deodorant/ cologne or whatever he´s using as your pregnancy has triggered a super sensitive sense of smell and you just can´t take it.. that way he won´t feel as he smells bad.. because you are not literally saying that he should use deodorant, just change brand..


once i had a co-worker that never took a bath... he could easily go 2 weeks without one.. and even use the same stinky clothes :eek: ... one time we´ve all had enough about giving hints and running away form him that he was told directly to take a bath that he stenched (he literally left an odor path wherever he passed by).... and he said if you don´t like it, it´s not my problem.... what?!.. he was aware of that.. he just didn´t cared... and what´s worse... haha.. he had a girlfriend.. poor girl.. unless she was the same..lol...

[aTailOf2Kitties]

is the smelly guy from another country by some chance? In some cultures it is an honor to reek because it proves that you have been working hard. There was a guy from India that used to clean the dorms back when I was in college. You could literally tell where he had been 5 minutes beforehand.

[caseysmom]

is the smelly guy from another country by some chance? In some cultures it is an honor to reek because it proves that you have been working hard. There was a guy from India that used to clean the dorms back when I was in college. You could literally tell where he had been 5 minutes beforehand.

I think that guy had bad grooming habits, I work with many people from India and none of them smell.

[kitten645]

I had the same problem sans the pregnancy issue. I had an additional dilema that it WAS a cultural thing. A good friend of mine who shared space with this person told me they had discussed it and it was a cultural thing tied in with their diet (very hot/spicy food) The "offender" appreciated the input and was more aware going forward. :)
By the same token, I think you can get away with alot being pregnant. He may be receptive due to your condition. I would personally go the HR route.
I also remember when I saw Silence of the Lambs, Jody Foster put something on her upper lip when checking a decaying body. Maybe some nice smell would offset the bad? :confused:
I do feel for you. I have a hyper sensitive nose. The smell of cigarette on a person does me in!
Claudia

[K9karen]

Oh My. Had the same situation at my last job (and nobody was preggers). The sweetest, most lovely, kind, friendly, sincere young man had a very severe personal hygiene issue, dirty clothes included.

Finally his supervisor had the horrendous task of telling him, as an anonymous can of deordorant didn't quite make it's point.

Sadly, poor guy burst into tears. Then shortly afterwards, his apartment caught on fire and he lost everything. We took up a collection, of course, most likely out of guilt. :o

He moved in with an aunt until he got settled, and she must have taken the task of cleaning him up, 'cause not only was his hair and body clean, his clothes were as well. I left shortly afterwards, so I don't know if this continued.

I have a sensitive nose and retch and dry heave easily when I smell something offensive. Sometimes I bathe 2-3x a day.

[DJFyrewolf36]

I'm hopping in on this from a unique perspective. I have a medical condtion that causes me to stink...bad at times. Its embarassing, and no matter how clean my clothes are or how much I shower sometimes I just smell awful. Deoderant and such only works for so long in the heat :(. Ive been written up at work for smelling bad because someone told my supervisor I had a problem. I work 12 hour days next to a boiler. It isn't as if Im allowed to shower halfway through. By the end of the day, I can't smell myself lol. I would have much rather been told by the person that was offended so I can at least not be in such close proximity to them when they are around rather than being hauled into my bosses office and getting a permanent hygene repremand in my file. :mad:

[Cataholic]

I agree with dry! Tell him yourself. To get others involved seems unkind, and you mentioned you don't want to hurt his feelings. To leave a secret package so that he can wonder and feel ashamed seems very unkind.

[smokey the elder]

It sounds like you have a good working relationship with the guy. I agree that if you preface it with a reference to change in how you perceive smells due to pregnancy, that will be a disarming gesture and he'll be more receptive. Good luck!

[Edwina's Secretary]

I ask this question - if the roles were reversed - which you would you rather?

I would want to hear from the person - I'm pregnant and hyper-sensitive - etc. And I really need your help.

I have always thought the anonymous gift route a bit hurtful.

[cassiesmom]

The only thing I can suggest is to present it as a health issue to his supervisor (hopefully that's not you!).

Or human resources? Whoops, I see Pomtzu suggested that in #11. I am very conscious of my own hygiene after I saw a close friend be taken aside (at a church function) and given the "go home and bathe" talk.