How young is too young??

[Genny]

My cousin, who is 21, is going out w/ this guy. I belive he's definitely tooooo young for her, but she and the guy don't seem to think so. Even his parents and hers are cool about it, but I really feel uncomfortable when I go even somewhere simple w/ them because it just feels strange. So before I tell you this guy's age how much younger of a guy is 'ok' for a 21 y/o girl to date?

[caseysmom]

I would have to say 19 or older.

[Sirrahsim]

18. If they go along with the usual standard of behavior for teens today then anything under 18 is illegal anyway:D

[Sirrahsim]

Though I suppose I should mention that when I started dating the man who is now my husband of 6 years, I was not quite 17 and he had just turned 20:eek:
In general girls are more mature than boys at that age though.. I suppose it just depends on the individuals.

[kokopup]

I agree with caseysmom, 19 or older.

[CountryWolf07]

18/19 or older. I was never in that position of dating though - always dated someone who was at least a year older or two. My boyfriend and I are a year and 3 months apart.

[Taz_Zoee]

It would depend on the individual, IMO. But generally I'd say 18, for legal reasons.

[Marigold2]

At 21 a person is not very mature regardless of their life, 21 is still a bit passed childhood. If her boyfriend is very young it might be because she is at his mental age. If she is not bored with him then they are of the same mindset. What does she expect from him? What are her expections in life? A home, a job, a degree, a career I doubt they are taking about grownup stuff. More like what is your favorite group, nightclub, party place, etc

[joycenalex]

My cousin, who is 21, is going out w/ this guy. I belive he's definitely tooooo young for her, but she and the guy don't seem to think so. Even his parents and hers are cool about it, but I really feel uncomfortable when I go even somewhere simple w/ them because it just feels strange. So before I tell you this guy's age how much younger of a guy is 'ok' for a 21 y/o girl to date?....please don't hear this an hostile question....why do you care? YOU are not one of the dating pair, so why do you feel it's any of your business?

[pomtzu]

....please don't hear this an hostile question....why do you care? YOU are not one of the dating pair, so why do you feel it's any of your business?

I tend to agree with this - however - I feel anything younger than 18 isn't a good idea. I hope it couldn't be compared to some of these cases where a teacher is in her 20's or even older, and she gets involved with a student that's just barely made it into his teens. :eek:

I was just a little over 17 when I met my ex and we started dating, and he had just turned 21. People don't seem to make an issue of it when the guy is older than the girl tho. :rolleyes::confused:

[k9krazee]

If she's willing to date a younger guy...more power to her. :eek: LOL

I've only dated people older than I am (20), and most of them are still too childish for me. haha

[Genny]

....please don't hear this an hostile question....why do you care? YOU are not one of the dating pair, so why do you feel it's any of your business?
Hi, it's alright I didn't take it in a bad way. Only reason I was concerned is cause he's 16...like he just learned to drive and she's just at the age to drink..it just felt weird..but like down below you can see I wrote that I like an 18 y/o so I guess you're right and I should just be happy for them, right? :cool:


Hey everyone, thanks for your replies. I appreciate it. I'm not gonna say anything to her cause they do seem happy together, but I just wondered what ya'll thought cause all of your opinions mean a lot to me sometimes ;)
I once dated a younger guy and right now I am working with this guy at chickfila that I kinda like and he's 18 so I guess I shouldn't question my cousin then. I dunno...but thanks...ya'll made me realize it's ok I guess :) I had also wondered the same thing about me dating an 18 y/o but never had the guts to ask about myself (don't know why LOL)

[Karen]

They are just dating, not getting married or anything permanent, right? I wouldn't worry yourself about it. If they are enjoying each other's company, that's fine.

In a few years, that age gap won't seem as strange. My mom was 4 years older than my Dad, and my friend is 4 years older than her husband of many years - they started dating when he was 16, and she was in college, and 20+ years later and three beautiful daughters, they are still happily together. They didn't get married until after he graduated from college, but now that is a long time ago.

[kuhio98]

I agree with caseysmom, 19 or older.
19 is my vote also. 'Course guys seem to be about 4-years less mature than girls at that age -- so to me -- it would be like dating a 15-year old. :p Even at 19, he'd have to be mature for his age to have interested me at 21. I always dated older guys.

[jenluckenbach]

The number of years doesn't matter as much as the age of the youngest partner.

If one partner is 21 or older then I think the younger person in the pair should be either 18 OR out of high school (I graduated at 17, for example). Because anyone considered a "minor" in a relationship with an "ADULT" could spell trouble.

IMO, once you are out of high school you should be responsible for making your own decisions, and if that includes dating an older person, so be it. I met my future husband when I was just 17 and he is 18 years older than me. My parents were leary, but I was heading toward college and was a responsible person.

So, in this case, 16 is a little young for a 21 year old to be in a SERIOUS relatinship, but that is not written in stone,

If they are willing to proceed slow and prove they are a responsible couple I say try not to be uncomfortable with the age difference. In a few more years, if it lasts, the age difference won't even be noticable.

[Twisterdog]

I would say 18.

Honestly, if my son was dating a 21 year old girl when he was sixteen, poopy would have hit the fan, in a big way. I would have NOT been pleased about that. I'm sorry, but sixteen is a child, especially for a boy. Nope, I would not have taken that lightly, as a mom.

A five year age difference makes a HUGE difference when the people are 16 and 21. If they were 36 and 41, it would make absolutely no difference at all.

[kitten645]

I've never dated or been "involved" with men younger than me. I've had a hard enough time dealing with the older more "mature" ones:eek:But as they say..whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You can't dictate other peoples choices. Their choices are thiers. :love:
Claudia

[carole]

Well it does depend on the two people involved, on the maturity of the young man, some 16 yrs olds are more mature than others, i briefly dated a 17 yr old when i was 20,it was only for a very short time, i soon realised we were too far apart in age,and we did not have that much in common.

[catnapper]

I don't think its the physical age that matters -- its the emotional age. My son is 23 and acts like he's 13. Then there's my youngest daughter who is 19, but acts like she's 30.

But, 16 and 21 is a little creepy. It conjures up images of Jerry Springer or Maury TV shows.

[blue]

When I was 21 I was dating a 17 year old. She broke up with me and married a 31 year old who mentally and physically abused her.

I met a 16 year old male my senior year in HS who was dating a 22 year old female. I didnt think it was odd at the time and I dont find it odd now. She and I drank all of the excess beer on the drive from Valdeze to Anchorage.

In AK the age of consent is 16 with only 1 exception.

As long as the parties are legally able to consent I dont care.

[Genny]

Thanks for your replies. But they broke up this morning. She called me and told me, who knows if they'll get back together...I think he's just too much of a 'kid' for her...I dunno tho...like ya'll said I'm just gonna be happy for her--as long as she's happy about it I'll be happy I guess. :rolleyes:

[Genny]

A five year age difference makes a HUGE difference when the people are 16 and 21. If they were 36 and 41, it would make absolutely no difference at all.


What about 18 and 21? Think that's ok? I like this guy he's 18 and we've been hangin out lately. We work together. Right now he's just a friend who I enjoy bein around and he makes me laugh alot. But you think that's a cool age, ok?

[Karen]

As we have stated, it all depends on the two people involved. There are 18-year-olds who are about 12 in maturity, and those who are 35 at heart! Same for 21-year-olds. It's no one's business but your own, frankly!