Is this a normal feeling to go through?

[CountryWolf07]

So, I've noticed, after graduating almost two months ago from OSU; that I have changed. I don't feel like I am the same person I used to be. I feel like I'm unhappy all the time, and negative about the outlook about things in my life, such as a job, my boyfriend (he works all the time, and it's tough sometimes), how I don't have any friends around in the area, etc. My boyfriend told me that I need to figure things out because I have been moody since graduating and that I have never been like this before. Last night was when I really considered breaking up with him - why? I don't know. It seems like lately I get upset with him all the time, even when he tries to help me figure something out. I never used to be like that. It scares me the fact he doesn't make me happy sometimes, and it seems like he is more focused on his mom (he's 25 years old) than me these days, because I've been different and he didn't want to talk to me because it's too hard for him to. So..

I decided to go away this weekend up to Lakeside/Marblehead with some friends from Columbus, and maybe this is what I just need. To get away and be recharged by the time I come back and hopefully feel like I'm happy again. And figure this thing out with Mike, because I don't know anymore.

I really hope this is due to the fact I don't have a job or anything to keep me busy during the days - and it's causing me to overthink on everything.

[pomtzu]

I really hope this is due to the fact I don't have a job or anything to keep me busy during the days - and it's causing me to overthink on everything.

This probably has a lot to do with it - that - and the fact that now you have a totally different life than you had in college. In school, you knew what you would be doing every day, and you had direction. Now, you just seem to be floundering and not knowing from one day till the next, what life is going to bring each day. Unfortunately, you are not the only one going thru this - so many people are in the same boat - and this horrible economy just makes it even worse. I believe most college grads go thru the same as you, at least to some degree. Hopefully that great job will come along soon.
Maybe you could find something to occupy your time until you find a job - like doing some volunteer work a few days a week. And try to understand what your boyfriend is going thru seeing you like you are now. I think he probably just wants the old you back. I'm sure it's just as tough on him as it is on you.
I hope you can soon find yourself, and that things will start to look brighter for you. Good luck, and keep us posted.

[kuhio98]

I think it's normal to feel a bit let down after reaching a major goal (graduating) in life. I notice I do that too.

This part concerns me though:
It scares me the fact he doesn't make me happy sometimes...

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean, but it's not his job to make you happy. That's your responsibility. And nobody is happy all the time. That's just life.

Getting away might be just what you need. Focus on yourself. Things that you can do to make yourself happy.

Keep plugging away at getting a job. It's hard out there right now and rejection always brings a person down. But, you'll feel better about yourself when you're working and then the little things won't seem like such big things.

[CountryWolf07]

I think it's normal to feel a bit let down after reaching a major goal (graduating) in life. I notice I do that too.

This part concerns me though:

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean, but it's not his job to make you happy. That's your responsibility. And nobody is happy all the time. That's just life.

Getting away might be just what you need. Focus on yourself. Things that you can do to make yourself happy.


Yeah, it is not his job to make me happy but I think it came out wrong, what I meant was I notice I haven't been happy lately, which is telling me, yeah, I do need to look at myself right now and just do something about it. So I'm really looking forward to this weekend then hopefully be recharged when I come back. I just need to get away and completely RELAX with nothing on my mind and just actually realize, there are more to good things in life than bad, and that it will get better. I've just only started.

[kokopup]

I think Pomtzu gave the best advice. I never had to deal with not having a job but I have had jobs that I was not happy in. I have found that Volunteering your time can give you a lot of satisfaction. Finding a job will help but until your job comes along try refocusing on others and use your talents productively. This will give you a new purpose for waking up every day. There is no substitute for youth. Use it wisely.

[catnapper]

I think its completely normal. Think about this -- you've been working towards a goal, and were told all your life that once you've attained that goal, life would be great. Now you find yourself with the degree but none of the greatness you should have. So of course you feel let down and lost.

I went through the same exact thing. In fact, I seriously considered going for my graduate degree just to postpone reality. Reality is not as much fun as people promised. While in school, you work towards a goal. You dream what life would be like once you get there. Now, you're THERE. And its nothing like your dreams. Where's the glamourous job with coworkers praising your excellent work? Where's the awesome apartment? And the rocking social life?

You know what? Just because you graduated and are in a time of transition, doesn't mean you can't appreciate the wonderful things going on now. You have the whole world open to you! Nothing is 100% concrete and nothing is tying you down to any one thing. You are soooo lucky!

[Medusa]

Do something that takes you completely outside yourself w/no visible reward, such as volunteering as kokopup suggested. It does sound like you need a break, though, and perhaps your weekend away will help to recharge your batteries. (Can I come?) ;)

[wolf_Q]

Somebody my age told me they were going through a "Quarter Life Crisis" lol. I think I am going through that sometimes too. I think its understandable to go through something like that after graduating college and then looking to find a job, etc. I'm sure you'll pull through it and be yourself again. Hope that weekend trip helps! :)

p.s. At least you're not me...I don't have a degree OR boyfriend, be lucky you have that. ;) :p

[beeniesmom]

I think what you are going through is normal.

My sister is going through the same thing.

She graduated in December and is still in the part time job she had while in school. She is frustrated and unhappy, not sure what she wants to do.

She ended up breaking up with her boyfriend but that didn't make her happy so don't do anything harsh.

Just be patient until your new 'goal' comes along, whether it a great job or hobby or more school.

Hope you and my sister get through this funk.

[carole]

I think everyone has given you great advice, and I too think it is normal what you are going through, try and focus on something new in your life, it might help, a cause or whatever interests you until you get the job you want, as for your boyfriend, i know in the past you have been so very happy with him, and it might just be your mood affecting your relationship with him, i am thinking that is probably what it is, however maybe you do need to take a long and hard look at him and decide if he is really what you want , but don't do anything in haste, think long and hard about any decisions you make right now ,and I hope things improve with you soon and you are back to feeling better about things in general take care.:love:

[sabies]

Ditto, I think you've gotten great advice. This is a transition time for you. Just because a lot has changed doesn't mean everything has to - so don't dump your boyfriend or get a major haircut now! Give yourself time to adjust and focus on yourself and your future career. I know that can be scary in this economy but it's what you have to do now. And try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I remember thinking that whatever I chose after college was going to make or break my life (it didn't).

When you do feel down just acknowledge that you are adjusting to a big change and it's ok to feel that way!

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I felt the same way after graduating from college. I felt directionless and I felt like a failure because it was hard to find a job (and it is probably more difficult now!). Eventually things worked out, but it took longer than I had hoped or expected. Best of luck! I'm sure things will turn around for you sometime soon. :)

[CountryWolf07]

Thanks everyone! I just know I am looking forward to this weekend as a getaway from the job hunting, the stress of just adjusting to the change, but I honestly can say this. I don't know what I think sometimes, I say things, and don't mean it most of the time - I have said that before, that I felt like a failure, that I went to college for nothing, just for a piece of paper, but you know what, though.... I know it was worth it. It's just my feelings that are not "straightened out" about this..

My family, few of my close friends, and Mike are obviously there for me, especially Mike, so I am trying also, but more as trying not to unleash all of my frustration on him because he doesn't deserve that, so I am learning day by day of how to adjust. It's not horrible, it's just a good change. I'm glad I did it. I just never thought that I'd have no job by now, but always thought I'd be able to find something right after graduating, but of course, that's going to take a while, but I can wait. :)

Tonight, Mike is cooking dinner so I am looking forward to that too as well.I am going to think everything through - not do whatever in a haste, nothing I don't want regret doing later on.

Thanks again, guys.. :)

[IRescue452]

I graduated college two years ago and I'm still depressed and unhappy with my life. I guess though, I mean, for the first 18 years of your life people tell you that if you go to college everything will be great and education is the key to success, then you graduate and you get nowhere.

[sabies]

IRescue I feel for you. It took me so long after college to get settled I didn't know what I wanted to do and I eventually went back to school for specific training so I could settle in a career at least. I believed based on what my family said that I would go to college and then get a job but now I know there is way more to it than that. I wish in college I had focused more on figuring out what I was going to do after college. I did go to career counseling and tried to get help but they did not help. All my questions were answered with "Oh you're fine, you're on the right track". When really it was easy to look like I knew where I was going while in school.

Think hard about what you want to do and what is practical to do. Few jobs are that exciting day in and day out but you need to earn a living. That doesn't mean give up on a dream that is either too difficult or too costly to achieve it just means maybe keep that dream on a backburner as a hobby or goal that you slowly work your way toward. Believe me, time does pass quickly and by slowly working towards something you do eventually get there!

[gini]

I think you are getting great advice - and advice from people who have been where you are now. You had structure in your life while you were still in school - and a goal to achieve.

Now you have graduated and you are floundering - questioning everything in your life because you have the time to dwell on it.

The job market is horrible - but it is horrible for everyone!

Volunteering for something you love to do can be very rewarding - go to a local school - read to the little kids - or volunteer at a shelter - or whatever activity that would be rewarding for you.

You know what is funny? In a few years, you will be settled down - know exactly where you are going - and miss these days when you had so much time on your hands.

It WILL all fall into place and what you are going through is completely normal!

[CountryWolf07]

Thank you everyone - I am still adjusting. I am about to leave for the weekend up in Lakeside, and I also purchased a book that I thought was of a good read for myself, to boost my self esteem, my happiness, and my postive outlook to whatever it may be in my way in life...

http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/7220000/7222353.jpg

This is the book I got - so I plan on reading this over the weekend. :) Just a nice, quiet, some time alone with friends, and right by the lake is what I just need!

I'll bring back pictures.. :)

[CathyBogart]

Just another voice to say that I felt the same way when I graduated from college. It was like I somehow expected everything to magically be better afterward and I was tremendously let down when it wasn't, ESPECIALLY when I realized that I couldn't cope with my chosen field.

It's been almost a year and I'm only just starting to get over the depression that started when I graduated.

[CountryWolf07]

Understandable. Cathy, That's exactly what I am going through..

I just got back from my getaway weekend - and it was SO MUCH WELL NEEDED. I actually feel great. That book is a great read too as well. :) I also had a chance to explore the landscape/lake with my Nikon D60. Love it.. here are pictures:

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48178503_8150180.jpg

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48178504_2067597.jpg

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48178507_7020402.jpg

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48178513_7143039.jpg

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48178881_3907972.jpg

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48184862_8211570.jpg

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3878/87/67/12449168/n12449168_48184934_2270688.jpg

[AllAmericanPUP]

great pics!!

there are times when i get feeling down and grumpy too but then i stop and take a step back and realize..hey what am i down for? I've got family and friends that love me, a roof over my head and food in my tummy.

[carole]

WOW what a beautiful spot you were at, glad you enjoyed yourself and hope you are feeling much brighter about your future now, hang on in there, it will get better.:)