A guy does NOT define me....rant.

[sumbirdy]

Ugh....my brothers new girlfriend is making me angry...and a little bit sad for her as well. She called me ugly. Now I'm not conceited, I don't think I'm gorgeous, but I also don't think I'm ugly (see attached pic) However....she's not much to look at. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Anyhow, her calling me ugly is not actually what got me mad (although it did hurt my feelings) Her reasoning is that if you don't have a boyfriend then you are ugly and depressed. (Now we all know that's not true) She told me that she used to be depressed and ugly just like me until she found my brother, now she is happy and pretty and everyone wants her. :rolleyes: And she's not even pretty! How in the world does having a boyfriend turn you automatically pretty? I just don't get it. Anyway, I don't think I'm ugly, and I'm generally a happy person, with or without a guy. Of course I have my days, but who doesn't? So, mom asked her "So, you can't be happy unless you have a man in your life?" Her answer...."No one can" :eek::eek::eek: Can you believe that?! This is where I feel very sad and sorry for her. Apparantly she's lacking in the self-esteem department and doesn't know who she is, really. I can't imagine ONLY being happy when I have a boyfriend.
So all you beautiful, single, happy women stand up and be accounted for! Who's with me?

[Catty1]

I'm right there with you, sister! :D

[CountryWolf07]

Ignore her. ;)

And, for the record.. You're adorable! I can't believe your brother would let her do that - disrespectful.

[Lilith Cherry]

My husband and I both think you are extremely pretty! Certainly having a man does not define who you are or how you look - we are with you too! She is lacking self-esteem if she thinks that way!

[sumbirdy]

I knew people here would be with me! :p

And to set the record straight....my brother did defend me. :)

I just can't believe some people think this way. Sometimes it's shocking the way other people's minds work.

Poor girl....I think she's truly confused about how things work. Your looks come from God and your parents, not your SO. And you should be able to find true happiness within.

[joycenalex]

your heart and your actions define you as a human and as a woman. temporary "possession" of another's attention means nothing. i feel very sorry for someone who was raised in the tradition that another can define your worth and value. country wolf is right, ignore this, and wait her time with your brother out....what can she bring to a healthy relationship?

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Hehe, I am NOT single, but I must say she is so much wrong!!
And, you are NOT ugly, you are even a very beautiful young girl!! You have gorgeous blue eyes and look very pretty to me!!:)

[beeniesmom]

What a bunch of crap!
She is the ugly one for saying that. What a loser.
Great way to make an entrance in a family. Yeah, let's offend my boyfriends sister. :rolleyes: Not very smart is she?

You are adorable. Don't listen to her.
Any guy would be lucky.

I totally agree with joycenalex's comment.

[Medusa]

She's young. If not in years, then in mind and maturity. Forgive her and let it go. She may come back to you one day and admit how wrong she was. But even if she doesn't, you know better. :)

[Queen of Poop]

Fairly certain she won't be your brother's girlfriend for long. She's not a pretty person period. You on the other hand are adorable and you have your thinking right.

[moosmom]

Queen of Poop said it right. At the rate this immature kid is going, she won't be your brother's girlfriend for long. And for the record, you are very pretty!! She sounds very insecure. Just let it roll off your shoulders and ignore her.

Don't EVER let anyone guy, or otherwise, define who you are. Stand tall and proud of who you are, girl. It took me years to figure that out and that's why I prefer to be by myself. I see what my friends go through with their SO's, husbands, etc. Glad I've got my cats!!

Nothing without a man? What planet is this girl from anyway??? I thought that way for so long after my divorce. It took years for me to finally be happy being by myself.

[pomtzu]

I think you are very pretty! :)

And I'm happy as a clam - and the only men in my life - are my son, grandson, and dog!!! :D

[jennielynn1970]

Hrm... how does your brother pick these women?? :p

For the record, you're adorable!

Secondly, I am happy, and I'm cute, and I'm single. So tell Ms. What's her name she's gotta be happy with herself first, and then maybe she'll see herself as pretty as well. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if you need to feel it in yourself first.

[Taz_Zoee]

Jennie said exactly what I was gonna say. You need to be happy with yourself first. I'm actually surprised she even found a man with that way of thinking.

And I think you are very pretty. The color of your hair and your beautiful eyes.....WOW!!

[mruffruff]

She is so Wrong!!

I haven't had a guy in my life for many years, but that doesn't make me ugly. Try self-confident and choosy.

And you are a very pretty girl. Wish I was that young again.

[caseysmom]

Your beautiful and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Just ignore her you know what she is saying is just plain wierd.

[AllAmericanPUP]

How very sad for her.

[kuhio98]

Poor girl....I think she's truly confused about how things work. Your looks come from God and your parents, not your SO. And you should be able to find true happiness within.

I feel sorry for her if she truly needs validation from other people to feel good about herself.

She sounds very young. Hopefully, she'll get more confidence and grow out of this. Otherwise, she'll be one of those people that glom onto anyone who will pay them attention (and possibly abuse them) because they'd rather be with someone -- and miserable, than be alone.

If she ever tells you you're ugly again, suggest she book an eye exam!:D

[Catty1]

Originally posted by kuhio98:
If she ever tells you you're ugly again, suggest she book an eye exam!

Or at least a decent brain scan. :p

[Daisy and Delilah]

I also think you're beautiful. You have the most beautiful skin, eyes, and, hair. A classic beauty, I think it's called.

This girl is acting like a child. Such immaturity. If I were you, I would let it go as well. She's going to be the loser in the end.

[Zippy]

Your brother's GF must be blind.You are very pretty.

[Karen]

Can you image what kind of childhood she has had, that she has learned form someone that your worth and attractiveness depends on having a boyfriend? The poor thing.

Karen - who has now been married longer than I was single - pretty wierd!

[carole]

You are as cute as a button, yes one has to feel very sad indeed for this young woman, fancy in this day and age thinking that, but still i think for her to come out and say to you what she did, is firstly very unkind, immature and down right un-called for and so.....UNTRUE.

The girl needs her eyes tested, maybe she is slightly jealous of you ,that is what i think anyhow.

Fancy validating herself like that, and everyone else, actually she is very ugly inside and from what you said not so great on the outside either.

I suppose one could say she feels better about herself now that she has a man,but that is so sad isn't it?

Often people like her just have to say something nasty to others to make them feel better.

Anyhow glad you did not take it to heart, treat it like water of a ducks back, but i would tell her how you feel, state how unkind she was and how you felt hurt, and let her know how ridiculous her statement is.

[Alysser]

That's one of the stupidest things someone has ever said, by far! She's an obvious moron, I would never listen to her. I'm glad you won't either, you're certainly not ugly, you look very pretty in that picture. I'm glad your brother defended you but if I was in his position she'd be out the door on her butt, family comes first.

I'm not single but it's just stupid to even talk like that. She isn't the sharpest tack in the draw now is she? ;)

[kokopup]

Unfortunately there are many that measure there self worth by faulty
standards, be it a boy friend or material things.

An american actress and athlete Sasha Azevedo had this to say about self worth.

“When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one's lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.”

When I see your picture I see a beautiful girl. Over my many years
the women that I found the most beautiful had a sparkle in their eyes
that came from within. To quote a beauty of my day, Sophia Loren.

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”

The life you have ahead of you for the most part will be determined
by how you feel about yourself. You seem to have your head on straight, keep it that way.

[kitten645]

You are beautiful and she's an idiot. Ignore her. You can't control what others do, you can only control how you react to them. Pointless getting mad as she is clearly ugly on the inside.
Word to the wise (your brother), this chick spells trouble.
Claudia
Single and covered in cat fur! :p

[sumbirdy]

I'm over being angry or really upset. I just feel sad for her. I'm happy with who I am, I believe that I am a good person, and to me that's all that really counts.

It's kind of sad because it seems like she's trying to start a competition with me. I don't want that. I'm not really competitive. I mentioned once I was trying to lose weight (my heart is bad and my energy is low, the weight needs to come off) and ever since I mentioned it she keeps telling me about how much weight SHE is losing. Although to me it doesn't look like she has lost any, but what do I know? I don't really care, I'm not out to see who can lose it the fastest. And whenever a guy walks by us and even looks in our general direction she gushes on and on about how he was looking at her, how much he wants her, how this is going to make my brother SO jealous....ect.... I generally tune her out.

She's older than me (she's 20, I'm 19) but sometimes I feel years older.

I would post a pic of her but I don't know if that would be considered rude. :confused:

[Suki Wingy]

I'm with you! I've been single my whole life because I rather be with someone who loves me for me and not just anyone I can grab and cling to.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I really feel sorry for that poor girl. She's not only immature but insecure. She's really reaching. You can't take much of what she says seriously.

Keep doing what you're doing.:)

[K9karen]

My Gawd, you're so adorable and sweet with a good head on your shoulders.

I never ever had a steady boyfriend (until I was 51 y.o.) because NOBODY defines me but me. And even now, I'm independent. A relationship is a partnership. Anybody (IMO) who needs someone with them constantly is insecure and afraid of being alone.

Hey, say what I say to avoid an argument .."Whatever" with a really GOOD *:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:* Babe, I know she insulted you, but, really, this is SO insignificant, it's ridiculous. She's so jealous of you. It's her problem, sweetie.

[Medusa]

[QUOTE=sumbirdy;2131065]It's kind of sad because it seems like she's trying to start a competition with me. I don't want that. I'm not really competitive. I mentioned once I was trying to lose weight (my heart is bad and my energy is low, the weight needs to come off) and ever since I mentioned it she keeps telling me about how much weight SHE is losing. Although to me it doesn't look like she has lost any, but what do I know? I don't really care, I'm not out to see who can lose it the fastest. And whenever a guy walks by us and even looks in our general direction she gushes on and on about how he was looking at her, how much he wants her, how this is going to make my brother SO jealous./[QUOTE]

When I read this, I felt that something has happened to this girl that has caused her to feel so inferior. Yes, inferior. She's trying to convince herself more than anyone else that she's so desirable. There's something deeper going on here, I think. Continue to take the high road as you have been; you won't regret it. I'll wager that more will be revealed to you one day and perhaps by that time, you won't even care about it but you may care about her. You may find you have compassion for her because it's doubtful that your brother or any man will stay w/her for long. :)

[Kirsten]

She told me that she used to be depressed and ugly just like me until she found my brother, now she is happy and pretty and everyone wants her.

Well, if she really needs a boyfriend to feel like that, it's pretty sad, and I don't think a relationship can last under these circumstances.
I think she said these things to you because deep in her heart, she's envious 'cause you have a life of your own. Don't let her upset you any longer. Besides, you're a pretty girl! :)



I just can't believe some people think this way. Sometimes it's shocking the way other people's minds work.

I totally agree! You wouldn't believe what kinds of comments I have heard for my choice of being a single woman! For some people, you seem to be an alien, or something worse! LOL

Kirsten

[moosmom]

Amen Suki Wingy!!!

[sabies]

Your brother should run from her and you should avoid talking to her! I feel bad for her to believe she needs a guy and I can't believe she actually admits it to her boyfriend's family. I know you don't believe her but it can't be easy to listen to her and I just think the healthiest thing for you would be to not be around her as much as you can avoid it. I don't think she is capable of having a healthy relationship and in my opinion no relationship is better than an unhealthy one.

I may not be single any more but I was until my 30's. In my early 20's I had relationships that were bad but I suffered through way longer than I should have. Wow, what a waste of time! Single life should be enjoyed even if you someday hope to be married. How can you ever expect to meet Mr/Ms Right if you are busy with Mr/Ms Wrong? How can you be ready for Mr/Ms Right if you aren't comfortable in your own shoes? Stay strong and don't let people like this get under your skin.