How to tell if your cat is trying to kill you :-)

[Medusa]

Kneading on you: You may think this is a sign of affection but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Excessive shoveling of kitty litter: After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.

Staring contests: If you get caught in a staring contest w/your cat, do not look away. Looking away signals to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.

Bringing you dead animals: This isn't a gift. It's a warning.

Throwing up grass: Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.

Hiding in dark places and watching you: Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.

Sleeping on your electronics: Humans have superior technology. Cats know this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.

Pawing at your face while you sleep: Cats aren't very good at smothering people but this won't stop them from trying.

Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter: When your cat does this, it's actually a failed ambush.

[catmandu]

:eek::eek:
OH NO, I MAY NEVER FEEL SAFE AGAIN.
:eek::eek::eek:
I SHOULD NEVER TOLD THEM ABOUT THE PAMPERED FELINE WHICH IS WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO LIVE AFTER MY ONE FINE DAY.
:eek::eek::eek:
MAYBE THEY WANT AN UPDATE IN THIER LIVING ACCOMIDATIONS
NOW!!!!
:eek::eek::

[Barbara]

Ah- there is finally an explanation that tells it all :)

[lvpets2002]

:eek: WoW finally true meaning to all.. Well at least I feel like I am in a normal house with my babies..:D

[Fuzzybuns]

I knew they were up to something and now it's all come to light! They shall not conquer...unless they look really really cute when they try taking me down. ;)

[kuhio98]

I've always suspected they had alterior motives.........:D

[Sonia59]

I understand better now...:D

There should be another point in the list: when they produce a biscuit, have you noticed how the smell comes innocently in your direction ONLY, wherever you are in the room, and preferably when you are eating?...Terrorist attack? :D

[catmandu]

OR WHEN THEY RACE AHEAD OF YOU ON THE STAIRS!!:eek::eek:
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE MAKING SURE I WAS GETTING THERE ALL RIGHT, BUT NOW I WONDER!!!!:love::love:
AND HOW ABOUT THAT GAME OF JUMPING OUT AT THE OLD FEEBLE CAT DAD??????:love::love:
THEN STEPPING TO THE SIDE TO AVOID HIM FALLING ON YOU????:eek::eek::eek::eek:

[momcat]

This was going around my office a few weeks ago and was quite a hit among all of us animal lovers. A good e-mail deserves to be repeated. Thanks for sharing, Medussa!

Sending lots of lovies to your furcrew :love:

[Sugaree]

I knew it!!!

[krazyaboutkatz]

LOL Now I'm going to be afraid to sleep at night.:eek:

[ninnu]

That's too funny :D

[Freedom]

Mary, you got hold of the enemy's code book! :D Thanks for sharing, brought a smile to my face.