To All My PT Friends - RIP Nonna - UPDATE Post #43

[Reachoutrescue]

I know I tend to come and go on PT quite a bit. I do apologize. Besides be extremely busy with the rescue and my chidlren, there are many circumstances going on in my personal life right now. I am going to be away again for a while. I am not sure how long, but I will pop in whenever I get a chance.

My Nauna is not doing well. (Here's the link to the last thread I posted on her about 2 yrs ago -(http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=123326). She is now 90 yrs old. Her kidneys are failing. She barely eats or drinks. It is very hard for her to get out of bed in the morning or even up from her chair to use the bathroom. My Aunt is a trooper, caring for her non-stop. She has moved my Nauna's camode into the living room for her. My Non loves to sit in "her" chair and listen to her Italian music....really loud! Her hearing is going as well. Doctors did blood work on her again this week, which will be the last time they will draw blood from her. We see no need for her to go through the pain of having it drawn when there is nothing they can do for her anyway. Doctor just called potasuim is at 6.5 it was 6.1 2 weeks ago. Hemoglobin is at 6.3 it was 7.7. Creatine(kidney) is at 5.4 it was 4.4. He said he doesn't know what to say, she is going down...and fast. All of the numbers last week were extremely high....now just about all are rising.

My father (Nauna's son) and mother are flying out but can not get here until late Monday night. I pray my Non makes it until then. I am going to try to get there tomorrow and I am definitly going on Sunday. I was told she can not even recognize the grandchildren any more. It took her an hour to recognize my Uncle Len who is her "baby" and was, whom we believe, always her favorite son. He is the youngest of 7. For the last two years it has been me, my sister, Gina, my Uncle Len, and my Aunt Vicky (who lives with my Non) taking care of my Nauna. My dad is in AZ, so he could not do much but call twice a day...religiously. My other Aunts and Uncles felt, and still feel, that my Nauna is a burden and my Aunt should have put her in a home back in '06. My Aunt would not have that. So I think us four are taking it the hardest, as we have grown very close to her in these last 2 yrs. We know it is going to happen, and happen soon....we just don't want it to. Nobody wants their loved ones to pass, but we can not make them stay either. I keep trying to tell myself that she will be better off and that it will be okay, but this is MY Nauna...life with out her will be so....Americanized. You see she is 100% Italian and EVERY Sunday we would go there for dinner at 1pm...made of homemade pasta (she'd get up at 3 am and roll the dough, make the sauce out of fresh tomatoes, case her own sausage, and make homemade wine from her grape arbor in the yard). If we did not have at least two plates of food....she would get so mad and say "Mangia!! Mangia!!". I was that kid that always laughed, she would look at me and say "NO LAUGH, you laugha too much!". She barely spoke english, but I understood what she said in Italian from being around it so long. I can't speak much of it, but she taught me some of the important stuff. She is our heritage, our culture. When she passes, it will all be gone. Our family will not gather around the table for Easter, Thanksgiving (all taking a turn to say what we are thankful for), Christmas, or New Years Day. I went there this year for New Years Day, as I have gone my whole life, and NOBODY was there...it's as if they just don't care anymore.

This is hitting me harder than I ever expected. I am so sorry for this long thread. I just really can't talk to my family as it will just make them upset. All they say is "Tre, she is 90....what do you expect". I know that is their way of coping, but I am not like that. I am a strong person and barely cry, but I am balling now at the fact that I can't make her better or put her at ease. Please keep my Nauna Donata Caccavella in your prayers. Please pray that she passes peacefully in her sleep and that she goes to heaven to be with my Nauno Victorio. You know, she still wears her wedding ring and all black everyday since he passed 33 yrs ago. She is amazing. I love you Nauna.

Thank you for "listening" and I will be around as much as possible. Here are some pictures of my Nauna.

My Non when she was in Italy. I believe she was about 20 here.
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/My%20Family/Picture054.jpg

My Non rolling the dough for our Sunday Pasta.
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/My%20Family/Picture072.jpg

My boys, Tyler (left) and Austin (front kneeling), my nephew Bailey, and their Bisnonna (great grandma).
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/My%20Family/Christmas2008029.jpg

Me, my Non, and Dave. She always told me after I had the boys and left their biological dad that she wanted to see me "take marriage" before she died. At least I gave her that. She told me the day of my wedding "you're a gooda girl. Your husband is a nicea guy." I will never forget that.
http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n194/Reachoutrescue/My%20Family/100_3474Large.jpg

[Medusa]

I apologize for not reading your entire post; I have difficulty w/reading colored fonts sometimes but I did get the gist of it and please know that my prayers are going up for your Nauna and you. At her age, she deserves some peace. Keep the faythe. :love:

[Lilith Cherry]

Lots of prayers and kind thoughts for you at this hard time... your friends here at PT will be with you in spirit :love:when you need us. Your Non was right - you are a good girl!

[jennielynn1970]

I love the pic of your Nauna when she was young... she was stunning! I love the old time pictures, and seeing people when they were young and people dressed so classically. Seeing her making pasta, what a great picture and such wonderful memories you have of your time with her.

I hope that your Nauna will be ok, and get better. She looks like she loves her family and loves to cook and has a wonderful loving family watching over her. You speak about her so sweetly, and with much love. I hope that when she does pass, it is also peaceful and she goes knowing how much love she is surrounded by. I wish you peace as well during this time.

HUGS from me, and I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[chocolatepuppy]

Tracey, your post brought tears to my eyes. My grandma was 94, but it was still hard.:( Your Nauna sounds like a wonderful woman. I will keep your Nauna, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.{hugs}

[caseysmom]

Your Nauna sounds amazing. I hope she has a peaceful passing. Don't worry you aren't losing your heritage, its alive in you and you will pass it to your children.

[DJFyrewolf36]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family *hugs*

[Daisy and Delilah]

My best to your Nauna, Tracy. We're thrilled to hear from you when you can post. Take care and thanks again for all you do to help all the time.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Catty1]

Bless your Nauna! I hope you are able to see her, and that she knows who you are. She will hear your voice, if nothing else.

{{{{hugs}}}} to you, and prayers for peace to you all, especially your Nauna.:love:

[momcat]

Countless prayers are being prayed for you and your dear grandmother. I'm second generation from Poland on my mother's side and your story brought back so many memories... every Easter Babci would make her own keilbasi, it was like nothing you ever tasted! She made her own horseradish, all you had to do was open the jar & if you were in a 5 mile radius it was guaranteed to cure whatever ails you. Like you, there are so many things to remember.

It's never easy to face the loss of such a special person in your life. As I write this, my 87 year old mother is day-to-day. Spend every moment with her that you possibly can, tell her about the good things going on in your life, and be sure to let her know how very much you love her. She will live forever in your heart :love:

[Karen]

You will always have your Nauna in your heart and mind, and through your stories and their own memories, your boys will as well. I hope she is in no pain, and if it is her time, that she is at peace.

You will be in our prayers in this difficult time.

[Taz_Zoee]

You, your family and your Nauna will be in my thoughts. I also hope for a peaceful passing. And I hope that your family can come together for the holidays and just recall the good memories you've all shared.
Those pictures are wonderful memories for you to cherish.

[Freedom]

Tracey, I was tearing up just reading about your Nauna. See, much of what you wrote, I could write of my Nonna and Nonno. (I know we spell it differently, maybe because Dad's family is from Sicily? No idea, not relevant.) The family gathering EVERY Sunday, ALL the holidays at their home, the home made foods, the grandparents who speak little English, we the cousins understanding them even though none of us actually SPEAK Sicilian, lol. The home made pasta, the wind made from the grapes int he arbor out back. Yes, it is all so familiar to me!

Both my Nonna and Nonno lived into their 90's; says something about that wonderful Mediterranean diet, lol.

Yes, this is our culture, our heritage. But it does not die with them; it is up to us to carry on the traditions and to teach the next generation! I bet you know so many wonderful recipes from Nauna. Make those in her honor now and again, and let your boys know of their rich heritage.

I am sending you my love, hugs and prayers.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you for all the prayers and very kind words. They really do mean a lot. Even more knowing that you all care very much though I tend to "slip" away from time to time. I really try to be as faithful to PT as possible, but running a family and a rescue does not leave much time for a social life whether it be in person or via computer. I have found myself spending the day (while the boys are in school) replying to numerous rescue emails, screening applications, doing house checks, transporting rescued pups, and taking trips to the vets. Sometimes I think I may forget to breathe! So, I would like to say thank you for not just writing off this thread or me because of my constant down periods.

Well, after the vet with Butch today and dropping my boys off at their gram's, I didn't make it to my Non's about until about 5pm. Dave was awesome. He dropped me off there and went to pick up my Uncle Rocco (my Non's oldest son) and my Aunt Pat, about an hour away from Non's. My Uncle does not drive and My Aunt Pat can't drive in the dark. We felt they should be there too.

My Non was resting comfortably in the hospital bed that my Aunt Vicky and Uncle Len had set up for her. The Hospice nurse came in today and was very shocked to see how fast Non went down since Thursday. The nurse sent over some pain meds and sleeping aids as well as a few other things to keep my Non comfortable. She also suggested my Non be put on Oxygen, so Aunt Vicky set Non up real nice. When I went up to Non she was sleeping. I told her I was there and that I loved her. She woke up a couple of times and Aunt Vicky gave her some water and a couple of spoons of apple sauce. I went up to her and told her again who I was, since she really does not seem to be able to see or recognize anybody very well. She nodded and I told her I loved her, she nodded again. It was pretty much the same all evening, she would moan, wake up, and slip into sleep again. She kept telling my Aunt to "take it out" referring to the oxygen tube. So finally my Uncle Len gave in and took it out. Uncle Len said she really does not need it for breathing, but to help circulate her blood since her hemoglobin is so low. He said normal count is between 10 and 12, but my Non has Thalassemia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalassemia) it should be around 9 or 10. It is at 6.3. Once he took off the tube she calmed down and fell back to sleep.

We tried to convince my father to come out tonight, but he refused. He is so stubburn. We think that he may not be able to deal with it and him staying in AZ is his way of coping. He said he will be out on Monday night as planned. I just wish he would change his mind. All of Non's other children came tonight to see her. We stayed till about 9pm and then headed out so Aunt Vic and Uncle Len can get some rest. My Uncle Len, who is Non's youngest of 7, is staying the night there, he is putting a matress on the floor next to Non's hospital bed. We will be going back there in the morning, about 10am.

Many of you stated that my heritage will live on in my boys, and you are right. My sister Gina, who has always been extremely close to Non, has been teaching my oldest son, Austin, Italian. He loves learning it. He was a little upset that I would not let him go there today or go with us tomorrow, but I do not want him to see her this way. It is better he remembers Non the way she was. They are only 10 and 8 and have already seen death several times, his Papa, his Great Grandma and Great Grandpa (all on their biological dad's side of course), and then Dave's mom, Grandma Helen. They are doing okay, but I know it hurts them....they just don't really talk much about it. I will continue to teach the boys about our Italian ways and when older, teach them how to make Pasta Gravy and Pasta e Fagioli (pasta-va-zule), as well as several others. I pray that after my Non passes our family will still get together on holidays as we have for as long as I could remember.

Thank you again so much. I will update again, more than likely, tomorrow night. (((HUGS))) back to all of you.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Aww Tracey, sorry for not noticing your previous thread:o!

I'm so sorry for you and your family! I know how much it hurts to see someone you love so much, suffering so much...:(:(. I hope your dad will be in time to see her alive!! That is VERY important for your Nauna; she will go in peace then.
My Husbands' mom did same thing 30 years ago! We were on our honeymoon when she was getting worse. She had cancer of her backbone, which gave her extremely hard pain. Her family didn't want us to get married because of this. But MIL almost begged us to go ahead! Her wish was that we would come to visit her in the hospital in "full dress"!! So we did!! She was soooooo happy and admired my wedding-ring during at least 10 minutes!! She said that she was happy that her son was finally settled and that she loved her daughter-in-law (me).
Afterwards we departed on our honeymoontrip to Scotland. 4 days later we got a phonecall begging us to rush back home; MIL was dying and wanted to see us once more!
The moment we entered her hospitalroom, she opened her eyes ( she hadn't done this since our marriage) and said "Ahhh, there you two are!!" She gave us a kiss, and then she closed her eyes again. She died short time later, with a big smile on her tortured face...

I will keep you and Nauna in my prayers!!:love:

[Reachoutrescue]

My Husbands' mom did same thing 30 years ago! She died short time later, with a big smile on her tortured face...

I will keep you and Nauna in my prayers!!:love:

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear MIL. I am glad you were able to be there with her. I lost my MIL 6 days after our wedding in September of '08. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

The hospice nurse came today and took vitals. Non's blood pressure is down to 68/40. The nurse said she should make it through the night, but no longer than 72 hours. I am going there tomorrow afternoon and staying the night. My parents will be in tomorrow night. I think Non is waiting for my dad. The whole family agrees. My poor dad just is so upset that he could not get out sooner. I just wish I could take everybody's pain away, especially my Non's.

I will update tomorrow. I am so tired, I'm going to try to get some sleep. Thank you again for all the nice words and prayers.

[Catty1]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

[Daisy and Delilah]

{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}:(

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear about your Nauna.:( You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, and hugs. It means a lot to know I many people praying for my dear Non.

I tried to sleep, I just can't. I need to, I know that, but it just is not working!! Just though I'd stop on PT real quick and say thank you, I really do appreciate all the support.

[beeniesmom]

I'm really sorry about your Nonna. I know what you mean about the traditions that are a part of her and the family. Hugs to you and your family in this difficult time. I hope she is comfortable. Some of the 'italianisms' you wrote of made me smile. My Nonna and Nonno used to use that language when they were alive. I think of my grandad when someone says the word 'chicken' or 'cake'.... he used to pronounce it 'Ooo chickenah' or 'Aaah Caek'.

[phesina]

My very deepest sympathy, Tracy. Gentle hugs and prayers for you and your beloved grandmother.

[Freedom]

Thoughts and prayers for you, and all your extended family.

[momcat]

I'm still praying for you and dear Nauna. [[[[[HUGS]]]]]

[cassiesmom]

HUGS and Prayers to [[[[reachoutrescue]]]]

[G535]

{{{Hugs}}} (we need a "hugs" smilie)

[pitc9]

{{{HUGS}}}

:love:

[Reachoutrescue]

I just wanted to thank everybody for the virtual hugs, thoughts, and prayers.

My Nauna passed away peacefully yesterday, January 28th, at 2:45am with several family members, including myself, at her bedside.

I have never met a stronger person. She waited for everybody and fought so hard to stay. I am not much into going into details now, as I am only on about 5 hours of sleep since I woke up Monday. I would like to share her remarkable journey to Heaven with you, but when I am in a better state of mind. I will post tomorrow night after I return from Non's house.

Thank you again, very much. (((HUGS))) to all of you.

[beeniesmom]

My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

[Medusa]

I'm sorry to read about your Nauna. My condolences to you and your family. :love:

[Taz_Zoee]

I am so sorry. I am glad your family was/is all together at this time.

RIP Nauna

[caseysmom]

RIP Nauna. {{{hugs}}}

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear this.:( I'm glad that she had her family there with her during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. RIP Nauna.:( Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[lvpets2002]

:( I am so sorry to read of your loss.. RIP Nauna.. May you be with the Angels going thru the Golden Gates of Heaven Now.. Huggss & Prayers

[Freedom]

Hey Nonna and Nonno -- there's a new Italian cook, someone's Nauna, at the Pearly Gates, I'm sure you will give her a real Italian welcome!

Hugs to you, Traci, and to your family, at this difficult time.

[cassiesmom]

HUGS and Prayers to [[[[reachoutrescue]]]]

and more

[momcat]

Please accept my deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolence on the loss of your beloved Nauna. She is now with God and watching over all of you who loved her so much. You and your family remain in prayer.

[[[[[HUGS]]]]]

[KYS]

I am so sorry hugs and prayers being sent.
(((HUGS)))

[phesina]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Rest in peace, beloved Nauna.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm so sorry Tracy.

Rest in Peace Nauna:( You will be sadly missed and greatly remembered and admired forever.:(

[chocolatepuppy]

I'm so sorry.:( Nonna will live on in you.{hugs}

[K9karen]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your Nonna was comforted that the family was with her. Hugs to you and yours.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody for you kind words and prayers during all of this. It really does mean a great deal to know I have people in my life that care and listen.

I am so honored that she chose to pass with the people who cared for her all these years staning beside her. Her passing was so peaceful. She came back to us twice before finally joining my Grandfather in Heaven. The nurses said it was just the extra oxygen in her lungs, but we feel she came back to help us let her go, as we were all very upset. She had taken several long, deep breaths, and as she exhaled, she let out a peaceful noise, like a loud sigh. Her eyes opened, then closed, and her heart. About 2 or 3 minutes later, over our sobs, we heard a faint breathing, once we said "is she still breathing", she took a deep gasp for air and continued to breath normal...well for her. About 15 minutes later, she took deep breaths and finally was no longer breathing. Again, we sobbed, feeling our Nauna had passed on. I went to kiss her forhead and tell her I loved her. It had been about 5 minutes now. I saw her thoat moving slowly and asked my father to look just to be sure I was not seeing things....sure enough once he said "she is still with us, she's just not ready to go yet", she took another deep breath and continued her normal breathing. This time, her breathing seemed much more relaxed. My father said that she will not leave us knowing we are so upset, we have to try to stay calm. So that we did. We told her we were okay and she could go. My Uncle Len said "this is her final test". My Aunt Vic said "Ma, Ti voglio bene (I love you) Ma, go be with Papa". Her breathing slowed, she opened her eyes and had a single tear. She closed them again, and her breathing stopped. No gasping, no sighs, just peaceful. Her expression changed as well, almost as if she were smiling, but not. (if that makes sense.) We all waited.....wondering if she was really gone this time....silence was all around us, but a peaceful, gentle silence. We all looked at each other and at Non and my father said "she is gone". We all told her we loved her, both in English and in Italian. I can not get over what an amazing woman she was....even till her final minute...she cared more about her family than herself.

My Non's services were Fri and Sat. Everything was beautiful. My Non's great friend, a priest named Father John Peter, came in from Canada to conduct the funeral mass and say some prayers at the wake. My Non and him were very close....he was considered her 8th child! She had asked him several times "Father when I die, please come and take care of my family", he would reply "Donata, I will try, I do not know where I will be when your time has come, but I will try". I am so glad he made it to fill her wishes.

We had a graveside burial. I have been to funerals, but never there when they put the casket in the ground. I will never forget yesterday and how amazing everything when for my Non.....she would be pleased....but yet again, she would wonder why everybody is making such a fuss over her!! She was so loved, and I pray to the lord above that she really knew that.

Thank you again for listening and for all the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. I need a bit of time to myself, but I will be back around soon. Thank you all again.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

AWWWW Tracy...... it is Major LES here....:love:
What a beautiful story!! Thank you immensely for sharing this with us!!Your nonna must have been such a special person...! :love: dear Nonna:love:

I am so sorry that we arrived to late to see mom alive.... . She died in her sleep...:(

[RICHARD]

Sending you out some good vibes and well wishes.

Sorry to hear about your loss and hope that you do keep her in your heart.