I'm feeling so guilty right now...

[moosmom]

It has to do with my daughter's cat. She kept telling me for weeks that she wanted to take Callie to the vet to be checked out cuz she was losing so much weight. I kept putting it off telling her it just that Callie is get on in years.:(

On top of that, I am flat broke. No money for anything. My friend who is on blood thinners because of blood clots, needed an electric shaver. I told her I'd pick one up for her with my employee discount. $69 later, she has her shaver, which she told me she'd pay me for once she got her Social Security check which isn't till the end of this month. This woman has a husband so I don't understand why she can't ask him for the money. I could SOOOO use the money right now. I feel like I was taken advantage of. I drove down there to help a friend (all along she's got a husband who doesn't do sh#t for her). They've been married 3 years (together 20). He lives in his deceased mother's house and my friend lives in a condo. I cleaned her house, washed her clothes, made up her bed and went grocery shopping for her.

I've got sucker written all over my forehead. And I'm damn made at myself for falling for it.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I'm supposed to be at work at 6 and do NOT feel like being around anyone right now.

[Scooter's Mom]

Donna, you did a good deed helping your friend. Blood thinners make it hard to do a lot of things the normal way, and that electric shaver will help her tremendously.

As far as her relationship goes with her husband, try not to analyze it too much. Everyone's relationship is different and complex in ways other people may not understand.

Focus on the good deed and that she'll pay you back.

I'm so sorry about your daughters cat.

[Karen]

Donna, you will be in our prayers. I am praying that something will happen at work, some little moment, that will bring you cheer and hope.

And you cannot have known anything serious was wrong with Callie, so don't feel guilty, okay?

[pomtzu]

Dona - don't beat yourself up please. I know you must be in a "funk" right now, but I truly feel that the holiday season makes it seem even worse. I get extra "down" this time of year over things that don't normally bother me as much at other times.
I'm divorced (and happily so) and also estranged from my oldest son, but even so, I miss what used to be. I get very blue remembering Christmases past, as a big, happy family - even tho I have my other son, DIL, and grandkids around all the time. I don't let them know how really sad I feel, since I want to create happy memories for them to have when I'm no longer around.
And unfortunately I know what broke feels like too, since Uncle Sam and his social security payments don't amount to a hill of beans, compared to what I was paid when I was working.
I know it's easy for me to say, but you did right by your friend, and hopefully she'll do right by you!
And so sorry about Callie, but I wonder if she could have been saved anyway since it seems that she went down hill so fast. Perhaps there is nothing that could have been done, even if she had been taken to the vet sooner. It's not your fault - God knows that you do sooo much for kitties!
Try to feel better - go look at a pic of Josh Groban!!! :D

[Medusa]

Donna, don't make me come over there! Your money will be repaid to you in one way or another, either w/the actual cash or something else will come to you to make up for it. So stop beating yourself up; you're not a sucker, you're a Good Samaritan. Be proud of it. Whatever kindness you can extend at work tonight will make a positive, uplifting difference in someone's life, so chin up, girlie. It's count your blessings time. You're one of my blessings, PT is another. Cheer up and please don't make me come over there. It's too cold! :love:

[Catty1]

It's hard to know when helping someone is good and when it is not good.

A saying I use as a barometer is: "Helping is the sunny side of control."

If I am doing it out of guilt, or so I will look like a good person, or score brownie points with God, or I will be a schmuck if I DON'T do it - that's a sure sign to not help. Why? Because it is about ME.

Callie is at peace. As others have said, it may have been too late to do anything...and whatever there was may not have added to her quality of life. It's not your fault - you did not kill her. You are innocent.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[shepgirl]

Moosmom, don't let yourself feel like that. Medussa is right, I also think somehow you will be repaid.
Chritmas is a tough time for lots of people but you should feel happy that your good deed did in fact help your friend. Her relationship isn't of much importance compared to the good deed.
I can't count the times I've gone out on a limb for someone and felt I had that tag "sucker" pasted to my forehead. Then I remember how good I felt for helping and what the future might hold and I toss away the feelings of being taken advantage of. Things tend to even out in the end when it really counts.
The kittie sounds like it might have just been called to a better place , maybe for the best and to save it from more suffering so don't lay a guilt trip on yourself over this.

[moosmom]

Thanks everyone. I've tried not to dwell on Callie Ann. I'm just disappointed that I didn't see the warning signs of her weight loss sooner. I wonder if I had only gotten her to the vet sooner, the outcome might've been different. :( Everytime I think about her, I start to cry and she wasn't even my cat.

As far as the money is concerned, there's not much I can do. I managed to make $30 for some of the frames I decorated, thanks to my friend Irene (she's the friend who's kitten was killed by Jay Baldwin). She's mailing me out a check on Monday. At least that's something.

Aw come on Medusa, I really COULD use the company!!! ;)

[davidpizzica]

Donna, the davidp soggy crying shoulder is fully operational and is only a phone call away!

[carole]

That heart of Gold is shining again Donna,and long may it shine, you are a very loving, caring giving person,be proud of that, and yes sometimes you end up on getting a bad deal, but for every bad deal i am sure there are countless good ones,when the time of reckoning comes my dear friend, those pearly gates will be welcoming you.

I am so sorry about your daughter's kitty, but please try not to feel bad,you can't know everything,you have done your best.

I hope your friend comes through with the money soon, nothing worse than being strapped for cash, and someone owing you,good luck and chin up, all will be well soon i am sure, i hope anyhow.:):love::love:

[Medusa]

I got to thinking about this, Donna, and I can tell you that several people have asked me to make purchases for them w/my wholesale discount and that they would repay me. I've refused them every time because that isn't what my wholesale license is for and your employee discount is for you, not anyone else. If you buy a gift w/your discount, that's one thing but if you feel obligated or guilted into it for whatever reason, then that's something else entirely. Besides, your friend could use the 20% BB&B discount coupon that we all get in the mail and pay for it herself. She has more options than you do, her husband for one; whether or not they live together is irrelevant. You're living alone (except for your fur clan) and working, so you have to take care of yourself.

Y'know how they tell us on an airline flight to put on our oxygen mask before we attempt to help the person next to us? Same rule applies here. Take care of yourself first. You won't have any money left for yourself if you keep helping others first. Take care of Donna first and if you can help others w/out feeling a pinch, by all means, do it. Hopefully, she'll repay you quickly and then you can put this all behind you and consider it a lesson learned. But don't continue to beat yourself up over it. Your heart was in the right place, as usual. :)

P.S. Sorry that I missed your call. I had the phone ringer turned off until this morning but I'll be home all day today if you want to call back after work. I wanted to call you but I don't want to disturb you at work.

[moosmom]

Mary,

You're so right and it's a lesson that has finally sunk in. Wanna know something? After I did all that for her (grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc.) she went out on her own after I left because she needed a few other things!!! I hate it when my good intentions are abused. Her husband could've stayed home with her rather than me driving 45 minutes one way.

*sigh* I give up.

[Medusa]

Mary,

You're so right and it's a lesson that has finally sunk in. Wanna know something? After I did all that for her (grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc.) she went out on her own after I left because she needed a few other things!!! I hate it when my good intentions are abused. Her husband could've stayed home with her rather than me driving 45 minutes one way.

*sigh* I give up.

Ah well, let it go. Except for the money she owes you, all that you did for her can be considered your Christmas to her. :)