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View Full Version : Mother makes son wear humiliating sign after bad behavior



Medusa
12-02-2008, 08:55 AM
It took place right here in Ohio. What do you think?

http://www.yahoo.com/s/995872

Taz_Zoee
12-02-2008, 09:38 AM
Like the reporter said - you can't even see his face. But I guess after this is televised all his friends at school will know it was him.
He still didn't aplogize though. So I'm thinking that it didn't work. I don't know how I feel about it in general. I guess she's not beating him. *shrugs*

caseysmom
12-02-2008, 09:47 AM
I personally think that was degrading and wrong and gee maybe the mom's humiliation of the boy is the cause for him acting out...ya think? Children need discipline but it needs to be tempered with love...she said she tried spanking already and it didn't work...ya think:rolleyes:

kt_luvs_kitties
12-02-2008, 10:11 AM
I dont think it worked, but I must say I would have gave him a good *pop* on the butt before heading out...

You know how bad it hurts to get smacked BEFORE going out into the cold! *OUCH*

Bet he would have apologized quicker then!

I see nothing wrong with it. Like Cindy said, atleast she did not beat him. My parents would have!

Randi
12-02-2008, 11:27 AM
I think it shows what a failure the mother is! The poor boy won't get many chances in life - this is certainly not going to help him! :(

k9krazee
12-02-2008, 12:58 PM
I think next time the kid thinks about smoking or stealing he will remember this and hopefully make a better choice later. Either that, or it could totally backfire and even escalate in an attempt to 'get back at her'. I don't necessarily think that the sign was a good idea, but the idea behind it was. I would have made him pick up trash in a public park, or some other type of community service. It would give him the time to think about what he did, and benefit others.

However, this mother gets kudos in my book for creativity. She could have always pulled down his pants and spanked him in public - that's a lot more degrading, yet I've seen many parents do it.

shepgirl
12-02-2008, 01:03 PM
I'm with Randi on this one - humiliation will only make matters worse in my opinion. This mother should be checking out her parenting before tossing the blame on the child. All I can see from this silly act is that this kid will do even worse to get revenge on his mom, worse yet he probably feels hate towards his mom, which is so pathetic. Feel sorry for the child and feel the mom doesn't know much about parenting by using him for personal attention for herself.

Medusa
12-02-2008, 01:14 PM
I don't know; I'm torn. The boy not only tried smoking but he stole money and a cell phone from an aunt, a family member. Many kids will try smoking for a variety of reasons but not all kids will steal. All she asked for was an apology and even after standing out in the cold for two hours, he still wouldn't apologize. I think that rather than going to that extreme, which obviously didn't work, asking for an apology was not enough. He needs to be made to realize that theft has consequences for the thief. We choose our behavior but we can't choose the consequences. Restitution by working it off and an apology to his aunt would've been a priority. As she said, she'd rather be embarrassed now rather than visiting his grave later.

Some of the people who commented on Yahoo called the woman an abuser. That's harsh. She at least is trying to discipline her son even if some think that she's misguided. Too many kids are coddled today and their parents have instilled in them a shameful sense of entitlement. A friend of mine had the same problem w/her son and she was soft w/him, only asking for an apology such as this woman did. Now her son is 23, still stealing and from family members, too. He told his mom "Well, if you're that stupid, then you deserve it". He's been in jail several times, the exact thing that the mom in this story is trying desperately to avoid. I'm no expert in child psychology but I'm pretty sure that if this boy is allowed to continue on this path, his future and that of his mother and family will be marred w/unhappiness and shame.

M&M's Mommy
12-02-2008, 01:33 PM
I think the mom took the wrong approach when she decided to humiliate her son. Years down the road, the boy may not remember what he did to deserve being humiliated, but he'll remember how he felt.. and I think it'll scared him for good.

I believe parents should discipline their kids, but definitely not by means of humiliating or dehumanizing them!

moosmom
12-02-2008, 01:35 PM
Kudos to the mother. I think the only way for him to actually be sorry is when the police file charges against him.

Medusa
12-02-2008, 01:59 PM
Kudos to the mother. I think the only way for him to actually be sorry is when the police file charges against him.

Unfortunately, that's what it came to w/my friend's son and unless this mom gets a handle on things, it may come to that w/her son, too. He's 12 years old; he knows the difference between right and wrong. I don't necessarily agree w/humiliating him but she obviously was desperate and no doubt there are people just waiting for an opportunity to call CPS if she does something that they don't like or agree with when it comes to disciplining her son, even though they're not walking in her shoes.

Lori Jordan
12-02-2008, 02:05 PM
I personaly think the mother went a bit far on that one,I have been in her situation and it frustrates you when your children act out.I have been in every situation with mine,You do the best you can and that is all you can do,There going to make these decisions no matter how well they are brought up.I would never though put my child on a street corner and have them hold a sign,Its disheartning i think.

pomtzu
12-02-2008, 02:11 PM
Hmmm - that's a tough one to call. I think humiliating him won't solve the problem. I just hope it doesn't backfire on the mother since he probably has the potential to retaliate against her. It could possibly get ugly.

CountryWolf07
12-02-2008, 02:15 PM
Hmmm - that's a tough one to call. I think humiliating him won't solve the problem. I just hope it doesn't backfire on the mother since he probably has the potential to retaliate against her. It could possibly get ugly.

Agreed.

BitsyNaceyDog
12-02-2008, 04:34 PM
This reminds me of a something- I worked at a grocery store in high school and my friend worked in the photo center at that grocery store. My husband (then boyfriend), Justin, brought me dinner on my break, but got there early so he went to say hi to our friend in the photo center while he waited for me to go on break. There was a woman there picking up pictures. I guess our friend looked at her funny because she said "you saw the pictures, didn't you?" He admitted that he did see her pictures. She explained that her sons had done something wrong (though I can't remember what exactly, something with ladies underwear) so she made them put ladies underwear on over their clothes for punishment. She thought it would embarrass them, but it backfired. They ended up dancing around, joking, and having fun. The woman ended up busting out the camera and taking pictures of her boys dancing around wearing their "punishment".

Justin and our friend were in a "band" at the time and they ended up writing a song called "Panties for Punishment" about the story the woman told them. :rolleyes:

Crazy, but true.:eek:

lizbud
12-02-2008, 04:40 PM
I personally think that was degrading and wrong and gee maybe the mom's humiliation of the boy is the cause for him acting out...ya think? Children need discipline but it needs to be tempered with love...she said she tried spanking already and it didn't work...ya think:rolleyes:


This mom needs help in dealing with this boy. Wonder where the dad is?
A woman can try to raise good kids, but it takes two parents to share
time with them. I understand her frustration.

Seems to me the boy is acting out for a reason.

Twisterdog
12-02-2008, 05:18 PM
With this child, the punishment didn't work. And I think that is one of the reasons people are coming down harshly on this mother. However, let's say the boy apologized, and said he would never do it again ... and then straightened out his behavior. Would people's responses be different then? I think so.

What works for one child does not work for another, even for biological siblings.

I personally would not have done this with my son. However, I think people need to walk a mile in this woman's shoes before they criticize her too much. At least she did something, she noticed her son's bad behavior and tried to stop it. I know a lot of parents, sadly, that would not.

IMO, nothing is more heart-breaking and sad than watching your formerly wonderful children start down the road to delinquency. And, sometimes, no matter what you do or try, they continue down that road. It leaves a parent feeling like a helpless failure. Maybe this woman has been in that situation with older kids, or has friends with older kids in trouble. Maybe she was trying her best to head off the bad behavior as soon as she could, before it went further. So, while we might not agree with the specific punishment per se, at least she cared and tried.

Medusa
12-02-2008, 05:27 PM
So, while we might not agree with the specific punishment per se, at least she cared and tried.

That's a good point. At least she's trying something, even if we feel that she may have lacked good judgment. Besides, an apology coerced from someone is worthless. He should've had the common sense to apologize on his own. An apology is only worth something if he refrains from that type of behavior again to show that he's truly remorseful. As a mom, I would be upset if I knew that my son tried smoking but I could understand how curiosity and peer pressure might overtake him. The health hazards of smoking aren't sinking in a 12 year old brain. Theft, however, is another story. That simple act of stealing, if he gets away w/it, could start him on a road of crime that he may never leave. I wish this woman well. She's probably overwhelmed and there was no mention of a father in the picture.

caseysmom
12-02-2008, 05:43 PM
I know all about having a head strong child and I feel the womans pain and am not passing judgement on her. I have learned a few things, kids do stuff, some do worse stuff than others. When its said and done the kids needs you to be the adult and that bond will hopefully withstand all the rebellious stuff the kids do. I have never had my kid do something that could land them in jail though so no I haven't walked in her shoes and I can understand her fear.

Catlady711
12-03-2008, 11:32 PM
I think something is messed up with the link. The comments under the video go with whatever was supposed to be there, but the video is about santa's training in Switzerland!:eek::D