Nasty co-worker

[Marigold2]

This is kind of a long story so I will really try and shorten it. Yesterday I found out that our office manager (Anne) who does billing (I work for a Dr's office) signed herself up for a class and did not sign me up. I get a call from her supervisor (Karen) when I got to work yesterday at 11:00 asking me why I was not signed up. I told her I was not given the info and I was told to go. The class was today at 7:30 am. It's downtown and I don't drive on the expressway so I look at the office manager and she says
"my husband is taking me" ok you made it clear I can't get a ride from you so I call my husband who works downtown and he will take me. I then ask for the address and am told by Anne I will recieve it when and if it is possible to get me signed up since it's the day before. About an hour later Karen calls, gives me the number and tells me to make the call myself and get signed up. So I do.
Right before Anne leaves she comes up to me and says " do you have my home phone number?" I told her no so she writes it down and says to me
"If you can call me in the morning before you leave maybe I can ride with you and your husband as my husband does not want me to go alone" :eek::eek::eek::eek:
Ok so this is the person who signed herself up without telling me, told me flat out I couldn't get a ride with her and is now asking me for a ride.
Yes I wanted to deck her, right there in front of the copy machine, next to the postage meter. Instead I waited till the end of the day, went into the Dr's office and explained the whole thing to him, I ripped up her phone number in front of the Doc and told him flat out I would NOT be giving her a ride.
This is after I brought in peppers and tomotoes to share with the office since I have tons. I have tried really really hard to get along with this woman but I am now done. I called Karen and told her I will no longer be speaking with Anne unless it is business related. No more " Good Morning, how was your weekend, yada yada stuff.
I also know that Anne is in trouble now and that the backlash is headed my way. Has anyone ever had a toxic coworker like this, any advice?
Do you think it is ok to not talk to this person unless I need to? Karen is not in the office often and Anne is the office manager. I feel like telling Anne that I will not take orders from her any more only those that come from Karen. This whole thing sounds so junior high I know. Thanks in advance for any help

[Catty1]

Is there anyone in a position of seniority above Karen you could talk to about this? Can the Dr do anything about it?

The only backlash you will get is from this idiot Anne...and look at where it's coming from. A poisonous person!

{{{{hugs}}}}

ETA: Update your resume and just look at ads and see what's around. You might find something you like...and that may give you more leverage in your position.

[RICHARD]

First thing?

Go about your day with as little or no drama in your "way".

kinda keep a little note book of what is going on and when you have to deal with her, do it the most professional way possible.

If you go to management explain the problem. DON'T make it sound like you are NOT going to do things with/for/against her.

Tell them that you just have some doubts as to the way you can work with her and if they may have some advice.

When you go in and start tearing things up and saying, "I will not/won't..." you can easily get labeled as a person who 'doesn't cooperate'. Take a deep breath be as monotone/neutral as you can be and have patience. If she is the AH that she seems to be, she will sink herself.

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One way to get around the BS abot signups is suggest a board where stuff like that can be posted or take the initiative to ask about up coming meetings/training sessions.

[Ginger's Mom]

Richard has given you some excellent advice. Don't make her problems/attitude your problem; don't make it a big factor in the way you approach your day and work. You may find that you feel more stress the more you think about it. Just keep a notebook of the problems, keep up or enhance your work related conversations with the other people in the office, and do the best work that you can in this situation. People will see what is going on.

[Cataholic]

That STINKS! Nothing like stress at work- where many of us spend the majority of our waking hours.

If at all possible, I would try to move past this and get back to a place where you can be civil to one another. I have always found keeping up the tension takes way more work/energy/emotion than just moving past it. Doesn't mean that you like her now, just that you can be civil.

[moosmom]

I'd keep to myself. I wouldn't give her the time of day. She sounds like she's out to better herself and doesn't want you in the way. That's sad.:(

[Taz_Zoee]

I have a person I work with that I refuse to speak to. In fact, if I need to speak to her (and that's not often, thank goodness) sometimes I'll find a way to have someone else do it instead. Now, if she comes up to me (like she did yesterday) and talks to me, I'm not going to be rude or ignore her or anything. But I just keep it simple and professional. No small talk.

I'm not sure of the size of your office or how closely you work with her, but my office is a good size and she is in a different department and on the other side of the suite.

Good luck!

[Medusa]

Rise above it. I'm not being trite when I say that either. Visualize yourself looking down on the incident and see it for what it is. In the grand scheme of things, it's insignificant. To be sure, it can be difficult to work w/an unpleasant co-worker, so I'm not trivializing your feelings in the matter but telling you that you have a choice here to either let it affect you (and probably give her satisfaction) or just to get on w/your day and let her see that she isn't having the effect on you that she probably thinks she is. :)

[lvpets2002]

Rise above it. I'm not being trite when I say that either. Visualize yourself looking down on the incident and see it for what it is. In the grand scheme of things, it's insignificant. To be sure, it can be difficult to work w/an unpleasant co-worker, so I'm not trivializing your feelings in the matter but telling you that you have a choice here to either let it affect you (and probably give her satisfaction) or just to get on w/your day and let her see that she isn't having the effect on you that she probably thinks she is. :)

:o Well said Mary && I totally agree.. Just Brush that Dirt Off Your Shoulder.. Dont carry the extra weight ok..

[Bonny]

I bet she will confront you & ask you what she did wrong? If so I would remain civil. You have to work with this person & this type of situation could sink you both down & make life testy for everyone where you work. I have run into this type of thing where I work. But you know what goes around comes around. It is a matter of time before someone higher up where you work will catch on or maybe they already have & will confront her. Your going to have to be patient & chew on nails, don't bring yourself down to her sick level.

[pomtzu]

Give her enough rope and she'll probably hang herself! Before I retired I had a co-worker who was the biggest 2-faced individual I ever met, but it took me a while to find out. She was always buddy-buddy, sociable, etc and we were on good terms for quite a few years. I'd pick her up if she needed a ride, help her out if she got behind on her work, etc. Then the worm turned - sweet to my face and then stabbing me when I turned my back. My supervisor was aware of it, but couldn't prove anything, and gossip was no grounds to fire someone. In our department we had a computer that anyone could use, as well as our own at our desk. One day when I had to use the department computer, I found e-mail that this co-worker had sent (and was stupid enough not to delete it), ordering illegal drugs from overseas and having them shipped to the company mailroom. I printed it, and then searched back through e-mails and found she had been doing this for a long time. I guess she thought no one would find it if it wasn't on her computer. I didn't want to rat on her, but my supervisor had suspected for a long time that she was coming to work high, and instructed me that she needed to know anything adverse. I held on to those printed emails for quite a while and didn't turn them in until I had to - the day my co-worker tried to pin a costly mistake that she had made on me. Obviously - she was terminated shortly after.

[Marigold2]

Thank you everyone for the excellent and kind advise. I am truly greatful for your support.
I have decided to not be mean in any way, I am not one to hold a grudge, however I will keep my distance just to protect myself.
The Dr is aware of what happened and now knows what kind of person Anne is. Karen and the Dr are the people in charge I will leave it up to them what they will do.
Meanwhile my goal is to do a good job, be pleasant and not rock the boat. I am going to be the one employee who does what they are told, comes to work smiling, and makes the Dr's day easier. :p:p:p I am going to let them continue to be the headache causers of the office.
Thanks again everyone. Hugs, Marigold2