Fake Fear?~~vent~~

[shais_mom]

I wasn't sure where to put this so I'll try here. I'm not even sure this is an appropriate title but the only thing I could think of.
My uncle recently got married to a delightful lady. Its his 2nd marriage and her first. As they were dating and we would have family gatherings she would love on Keegan. She would sit and coo to her and rub her ears and pet her.
I thought things were cool. :cool:
She has cats is a bona fide cat person. I go to their house and I LOVE LOVE LOVE one of her cats. I'd steal her in a heartbeat if I could. :p
;)
My cousin has a dog who isn't very cat friendly so he is not allowed to stay there anymore if they go away. There has been many issues over this new marriage that have nothing to do with the dog - most of it is simply lack of communication, jealousy over her dad getting remarried, and the new wife just not making an effort to get to know his kids.
but I digress.
Now when NW (NEW WIFE) is around Keegan she acts like she is scared to death of her. EVERY TIME and I mean E-V-E-R-Y T-I-M-E-- she is around Keegan - 'wow - that is a big dog - she gets bigger everytime I see her.'
Which PI$$E$ me off b/c number one you don't go up to someone and tell them their daughter looks fatter since the last time you saw her?! I am like - she wasn't afraid of her a year ago but now she acts like she is a big rabid drooling at the mouth ready to bite her at any provocation dog.. Normally I let the dog person vs cat person issue roll off my back. Not everyone is a cat person - pet person - dog person. I work with enough people that hate cats that have an irrational fear of them that it gets annoying. But to be love on and suck up to someone's dog when you are dating someone and then oh now I'm married I don't have to be nice to her anymore - doesn't compute with me. Now let me stress - she in NO WAY is mean to Keegan. She doesn't push her - strike her - or anything - I would have her on the ground before that would happen. She just cringes in fear when Keegan walks near her. Recently my cousin went away with husband and new baby and didn't have anyone to watch Maverick b/c NW is scared of him. I can't say I don't blame her for not wanting him around b/c he isn't cat friendly - its the same reason why I couldn't keep him over the weekend. I couldn't risk my cats lives and I don't blame NW for that at all.
I was talking to my mom - a bona fide NON PET person if there ever was one - the only dog she's ever liked is Keegan. And she started to lecture me on how not everyone can be a pet person not everyone likes dogs and cats (etc). And I cut her off b/c that isn't what this is about. This is about pretending to like someone's dog when you are dating the person's relative and then when the ring is on the finger - the true feelings come out. And I said - I may have to bring it up the next time. (b/c I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when it comes to my own animals) The funny thing is she never needed to pretend to like Keegan, my uncle wouldn't have given a rat's tail if she liked her or not. I wouldn't have either. But the deliberate and odd 'change of heart' just upsets me.. I understand people's fear isn't rational at times - phobias etc. But I really don't think that is what this is.
Thoughts?
Thanks for letting me vent.

[moosmom]

She harms a hair on that beautiful girl's red head and I'LL fly over there kick that woman's behind!!

She sounds like a certified "suck up" to me. Now that she got what she wanted, pffft!! She sounds like a real piece of work to me.

Staci,

I'd let it roll off my shoulders. You are SOO much better than she is.

Give Keegan hugs and kisses from me and my fur crew.

[Cataholic]

Uh, uh, no way. I couldn't let this slide. The next time the drama comes out, I would say, "don't you think it odd that a year ago you had no trouble with Keegan, but, now you do?" Or, "you are the only person I know with temporary fears" and laugh. She would, of course, say, "what do you mean" and then you would be forced to explain it all, fully. :)

[pitc9]

Ugh, 2 faced people are the lowest form of like IMO.

Make sure to tell BRD to "kill her with kindness" next time NW comes over for a visit! :p

[shais_mom]

:D
thanks Donna and Jo! :D
I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. I know not everyone loves dogs in their face and some people do have fears of them.
my neighbor's wife is afraid of big dogs b/c she's been bitten TWICE by 2 different dogs that the owners said 'they won't bite'. can't say I blame her there. when they moved in I was really worried - Keegan went sailing down there with me in hot pursuit and I was like I am sooooo sorry. she turned and looked at me and was - its ok I know she won't hurt me.
I'll admit - a 110 pound dog running at you full force barking her fool head off- would be intimidating. But in my uncle's wife's case - that has never happened.

[shais_mom]

Ugh, 2 faced people are the lowest form of like IMO.

Make sure to tell BRD to "kill her with kindness" next time NW comes over for a visit! :p

lol
well you know that isn't hard for her to do! :D

[Taz_Zoee]

That's ridiculous! Next time just be yourself, Staci, and say something. Confront her with it. I'm curious as to what she would have to say about it after being faced with it.
Some people.................

[sasvermont]

If I were you I would comment the next time she acts stupidly again. I would say..."why is it, whatever her name is, that you were perfectly fine being around Kegan, oh, let's say, before you married ___________, and now you are acting the as though the dog is a monster....what has changed that you don't feel comfortable?"........ My first thought was for you to say "Oh, just get over it" ..... "and shut the *&^^ up".......... I think she sounds like a phoney to me.:o:rolleyes:

[gini]

I think I would do what has already been suggested.

Next time you see her and you have Keegan with you - I would ask her why she used to just love Keegan and now she is afraid. Did something happen - did a dog attack her?

I wouldn't mention the before marriage and the after...........that would be a dead giveaway.

But, I would call her on it.

I mean being afraid of the B R D - is just way too funny for me. B R D is just B R LOVE!!

I sure am glad that I went to Findlay - because I got to meet BRD in person:love::love:

[Sevaede]

Hmmm... Maybe her interactions with Dog 2 is causing her to take it out, extend it, or otherwise let the results affect Keegan?

[boomersooner]

I agree with what everyone else has said.....I just don't understand people who don't love dogs....I guess I understand if they've been bitten or what not....but Keegan looks like the biggest lovable fella around. I would call her on it. Suck ups.....can't stand them......

[shais_mom]

Hmmm... Maybe her interactions with Dog 2 is causing her to take it out, extend it, or otherwise let the results affect Keegan?

hmmm I dunno - Maverick as never to my knowledge done anything to her other than tries to get her to pet her.
Keegan is not one of those dogs that tries to make non-dog people - dog people. ;) She just remembers when people love on her and when she sees them she wants love. One time I was getting a delivery from UPS and the guy said Oh I got one of them at home here and gave her a biscuit in his pocket. A few weeks later a different UPS guy came to a house down the street - and I dunno if she recognized the brown truck or what. (I know that's far fetched - but hear me out ;) ) and she took off down there and I was thinking oh $hi+. and she just ran up to him and ran along side him with her nose stuck to his pocket. He was laughing the whole time. waved at HER when he drove away!


I agree with what everyone else has said.....I just don't understand people who don't love dogs....I guess I understand if they've been bitten or what not....but Keegan looks like the biggest lovable fella around. I would call her on it. Suck ups.....can't stand them......
thanks! :D
but that fella is a SHE! ;) :love: :-) no harm done tho - she gets it alllll the time! ;)

[lizbud]

I find it hard to believe anyone would be afraid of Keegan. She's one of
the sweetest dogs I've ever met.:)

I agree with others here. I'd mention the facts to her next time she pulls
that fear act.:rolleyes: She seems like she's an manipulator.

[carole]

Staci i am in agreement with the other's i would confront her on this, but in a very nice tactful way, for example, i might say are you afraid of Keegan,?or you seem a bit uneasy around Keegan, is there a reason for that, you seemed ok with her before, has something happened to scare you? anyhow along those lines, i know you will find the right words to say when the time comes, but hey if it is really bothering you, say something and clear the air.,there might well be a simple explanation.

I would not judge her too harshly,there may well be some reason, and it might not be that she was sucking up in the beginning,you will never know unless you ask eh?

[Laura's Babies]

I would just casually tell her that was no need to fake likeing your dog before marriage, it makes her look like a fake how her attitude has changed... "Hummmm.. makes me wonder now.... do we even know the real YOU? What else did you fake?"

[Cinder & Smoke]

I'll admit - a 110 pound dog running at you full force barking her fool head off -
would be intimidating.
But in my uncle's wife's case - that has never happened.

;)

Maybe you could get a blown up, life-size picture of NW for Keegan to *practice* on ...

With a little work, the BRD could prolly manage a *dash*, *gnash*, and *BARK*
to give NW a REAL complex!

:D

[boomersooner]

I'm sorry Keegan! I'm still new around here....can't keep my boys and girls straight! Heck, half the time I call Boomer a she and Cassie a he!! You are a beautiful lady, and I can't imagine ANYONE not wanting to be around you!!!!!

[joycenalex]

keegan is perfect. i agree, next time she does the "fearful" thing, ask her if anything has changed in the last year (BTW keegan really is perfect;))

[RICHARD]

If I were you at the next get together I'd handle a bunch of raw meat then go over to the woman and give her a huge hug-wiping the meat scent all over her.

The dog wouldn't leave her alone, she'd freak out and never come back.

I did that with an old GF.

Same thing with non-cat people-but you have to have fresh fish in the fridge when they show up!:confused::eek::rolleyes:

[Pawsitive Thinking]

She sounds like an attention seeker to me - do people react when she starts her "routine"?

Don't let the silly woman get to you - she's not worth wasting the energy

[shais_mom]

She sounds like an attention seeker to me - do people react when she starts her "routine"?

Don't let the silly woman get to you - she's not worth wasting the energy

nope - no one even pays attention to her when its my dog. Not sure how people react when its my cousin's dog or other peoples.

[shais_mom]

I'm sorry Keegan! I'm still new around here....can't keep my boys and girls straight! Heck, half the time I call Boomer a she and Cassie a he!! You are a beautiful lady, and I can't imagine ANYONE not wanting to be around you!!!!!

~~no worries!!~~ ;)
:love:

[shais_mom]

;)

Maybe you could get a blown up, life-size picture of NW for Keegan to *practice* on ...

With a little work, the BRD could prolly manage a *dash*, *gnash*, and *BARK*
to give NW a REAL complex!

:D

If I were you at the next get together I'd handle a bunch of raw meat then go over to the woman and give her a huge hug-wiping the meat scent all over her.

The dog wouldn't leave her alone, she'd freak out and never come back.

I did that with an old GF.

Same thing with non-cat people-but you have to have fresh fish in the fridge when they show up!:confused::eek::rolleyes:
:D
you two are rotten! :D
lol
but I love it! :D

[Rachel]

Red flags would be going up for me as well, but I wouldn't waste my energy confronting her. She might just be one of those people who know how to get your goat. Then when you respond, she complains to new hubby about his niece who was *so rude to her*.

What she says about Keegan, it a non-issue. It holds no weight with anybody now that we have a inkling of the type of person she is. What you do care about is your relationship with your uncle and out of love and respect for him, I would think it best to be polite and cordial, but that is all. If you want to address the issue once out of concern (albeit feigned), fine, but do it with care as you would with a friend.

[Grace]

Another vote for confronting her. Simply ask why the change from last year.

As for Keegan - she's a love, pure and simple. I'm getting the impression that NW is not.

[shais_mom]

Thank you for all your support everyone. :)
:love::love:
I am just glad that no one thought I had an issue with someone who does have a deep fear of dogs. A phobia. For whatever reason. I don't understand it but then again but then again it is no different than people who have a fear of snakes, spiders etc. While I might not like those type of pets, I know there are people that do, just like my dog. :)
I dunno - they've been together for about 3 years total, and I never got a malicious vibe out of her. Even her present reaction with Keegan, isn't malicious and doesn't SEEM manipulative. No one pays her any mind when she acts the way she does. Unlike my dad's cousin's wife, who can't stand dogs, she CONSTANTLY wipes her hands on her pants when Keegan is around and walks around with this upturned nose like she stepped in a big pile of rotting poo. Now THAT action makes me want to PUSH her in a pile of rotting Poo. ;) :p
New Wife - doesn't give me that vibe. I'll keep you all posted on how the situation progresses, and again I appreciate ALLLLLLL the insight.
AND the compliments on my Big Red Dog.:love::love::love: