Your favorite sayings?

[RICHARD]

Everyone has a favorite saying, they are as diverse as geographic areas or backgrounds.

I was out in the yard and was watching the sun come up. The sky was pink then it turned a shade of red. I thought about the saying, "Red sky in the morning, sailor talke warning, Red sky at night, sailor's delight". Since I am no sailor I have nothing to worry about.

My other fave is when I get crossed up when I am putting or taking a nut off a bolt....Righty tighty, lefty loose-y!


Yours?

[shepgirl]

The red sky one is the one I use every night to see what the weather will be like nex day.

[mruffruff]

If you want to do something badly enough, you'll find a way.













even if you have to spend 24 hours at the airport to do it!

[Medusa]

"Least said, easiest mended". Also, "you can't unring the bell".

[Laura's Babies]

It's ok to be stupid! But why do you have to open your mouth and let the rest of the world know?

If you could buy him for what he is worth, and sell him for what he thinks he is worth, we could be millionairs!

[moosmom]

"Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick"

Compliments of F. David Ploss, Jr. (deceased)

[Karen]

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

One Ma used a lot when we were kids, and I was surprised that it wasn't common enough for others to know it when I went away to college:

"Two stubborn birds of equal strength can stretch a worm to any length" - in other words, "Okay you two, quit bickering and let it rest. No one is gonna win, so give up!"

Another oldie, this one from Grandma Peterson: "You aren't made of sugar, so you're not gonna melt ..." to any child (or pet) reluctant to go outside or off the porch when it was raining.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades

[slick]

"Bob's your uncle."
"Just click here and then click there and voila, Bob's your uncle!"

"This too shall pass."
"I know that He's not giving me more than He knows I can handle!"
I recite these to myself when things aren't going well.

"Piece a' cake, babe."
When requests come in through helpdesk, I respond with this, depending on who is making the request.

"Better than a kick in the butt!"
I said this the last time I won $2 on a scratch n' win.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Most of my favorites use non G-rated language lol...

but a couple of harmless ones are:

"Its gonna be like hearding cats!" My mom uses that one, has been as long as I remember lol.

"D'oh!"

I can't think of any more right now...probibly because Im thinking about it :rolleyes:

[Twisterdog]

My dad's favorite sayings ...

"Well, daughter, you just got more troubles than Carter's has pills, doncha?"

and ...

"I've been to two county fairs and three goat ropings, and I ain't NEVER seen nothing like that!"



And the one that seems so painfully applicable to my life right now ....

"Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree."

[RICHARD]

"Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick"



Eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven!:)

On the lotto win, or any good fortune. "It's more than I started with."

"Walk in the shade."

"Two needles will never prick each other."

"You are trying to blot out the sun with your hand."

Mruffruff,

24 hours in an airport?

I'd rather walk the streets at two in the morning!;)

[Cincy'sMom]

In college, I worked part time in the Engineering library. The circulation manager there was sort of an odd bird, but he did have some great sayings.

When he had a project for us to do it, it was "more fun then a barrel of snakes"

And when we were spending too much time talking,a nd not enough working, he would walk up and remind us "They don't pay us much, but they expect us to move around a little"

Of course, most of my favorite, or most often used ones these days can't be posted on a family site!

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

"Every cloud has a silver lining..."

[Hellow]

Heh, I think this about 12 times a day:
"If it aint broke, don't fix it!"
This is the one that happens most of the time though:
"If it aint broke, break it!"

[Carol Bulger1944]

As my Mama used to say "When you get old, everthing hurts but your grey hair".:confused:

[elizabethann]

When I see a full moon, I say "it's Cosmo's moon." Anybody know what movie that saying is from? :D

[pitc9]

"Not the sharpest crayon in the box are ya?"

My personal fav and I use it daily would have to be:
"BITE ME"
:p

[davidpizzica]

My two favorite sayings came from nmy dad. When it would be raining outside, I'd say "look at that rain come down!", my dad would say, "did you ever see it go up?!" Another one is if he be watching Miss America with me and a beautiful girl would come on, he'd say " what that girl doesn't have, she doesn't need!".

[Oggyflute]

"Politeness is like an air cushion, there is nothing in it but it softens the pressures of life" :)

[Barbara]

"Relax- nothing is under control:"

That's what I tell myself several times per day.

[RICHARD]

Heh, I think this about 12 times a day:
"If it aint broke, don't fix it!"
This is the one that happens most of the time though:
"If it aint broke, break it!"

I have my own personal sayings for news coverage on TV.

These are mostly aimed at the news readers who come on and say....

We have breaking news!
"Well, you better fix it!

The cause of the plane crash is under investigation.
"Gravity, maybe?"

:confused:

[Medusa]

I have my own personal sayings for news coverage on TV.

These are mostly aimed at the news readers who come on and say....

We have breaking news!
"Well, you better fix it!

The cause of the plane crash is under investigation.
"Gravity, maybe?"

:confused:

Oh ok, now I get it. You were looking for snappy comebacks when you started this thread, huh? I thought you were looking for memorable quotes such as "a penny saved is a penny earned", that sort of thing. :confused: If it's a snappy comeback that you're looking for, well, someone once told my dad that I was beautiful and he asked Dad "Is she spoiled?" and Dad was all too quick w/the answer "No, she always smells that way".

[cassiesmom]

From Mom: Don't let the weather change your plans.
From a former co-worker: Better the devil you know.
From my sister-in-law: Do the hardest thing first and then the rest will be easy.
From Boston Legal: "Now is everything." (Denny Crane)

I'm not good at quick retorts.

[Cataholic]

If wishes were horses than beggars would ride.

Inch by inch its a cinch...

[RICHARD]

"Bob's your uncle."
"Just click here and then click there and voila, Bob's your uncle!"




There I am watching a program on jet fighters on the Military Channel....the closing credits are flashing on the screen and one of them is..

"Bob's you Uncle.":confused:

I am not going to google this....I am afraid.:p


Medusa,

It's a combo of sayings and smart arse remarks....:)

The kind of stuff that makes you laugh, think and smile.

[Andie]

At Work Sayings:

"Bad Words!"
"So many bad words, not enough time to say 'em"
(Said when I want to cuss)

"I can help someone, I don't bite...hard...often."


***

"If you can't be good, be d**n bad." - one of Grandma's fav. sayings to us grandkids. :eek:


***

"Just to annoy you. Worked didn't it?" - My response to my mother's question of why I did (Blank).


***

"Thanks. I knew I kept you around for something other than lookin' pretty."

My weird way of saying thank you when someone does something for me.


***

"I left my soul on the couch with the dog."

My and my best friend Kasey's way we don't feel like being wherever we are. Mainly used while at school.


***

"Arguing with me and winning is like trying to get the cat to bark. It ain't gonna happen and if it does; be afraid."

[Freedom]

The kind of stuff that makes you laugh, think and smile.

"Only when the winds of adversity blow, can you tell if a tree or a person has steadfastness and courage." - JFK

"Well, you can't learn any younger!" - my Dad, whenever one of us says we don't know how to do something.

"There are a LOT of unemployed comics around, maybe you better give it a break." - also Dad, when one of us is giving a "wise" answer.

[AbbyMom]

About him: "He's one can short of a six-pack."

About her: "She's one decimal point short of an orbit."

[Pam]

It looks like a lot of us remember things our dads have said :) There used to be a commercial on TV for Maxwell House coffee. The ending line went "Maxwell House...good to the last drop." My dad always said "I wonder what's wrong with the last drop."

[Freedom]

He/She is out to lunch without a sandwich. :rolleyes: (Note: the eye roll is a part of the phrase, you must do that after you say the phrase.)

Open mouth, insert foot, bite down . . . HARD! (What I often do!)

[RICHARD]

I heard this one today, on a news program that was going to commercial.

"We have breaking news up after the break."

Right.......:D

[Suki Wingy]

Sometimes I can be like a parrot and just spew nonsense that I think is funny, it happens without me thinking a lot. Most of them come from TV shows or stupid Youtube videos. One such phrase is from a skit with my favorite comedian.
"Hello everybody, I'm a goldfish!" (Rik Mayall) video (http://youtube.com/watch?v=xK1g9AejBP4)

"I'm a love albatross!" and "Righty dokie skip!" (Ade Edmonson as Eddie in Bottom)

[cassiesmom]

When I see a full moon, I say "it's Cosmo's moon." Anybody know what movie that saying is from? :D

I do, I do ... "Johnny, you're 42 years old and she's still running your life!" Now I'm going to have to rent it again :)

[smokey the elder]

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It will only waste your time and annoy the pig."

"Never meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger" and the related: "Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and go good with ketchup."

[RICHARD]

"Time wounds all heels!" - Grouch Marx.

"He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat" - Baseball's Tommy Lasorda, on a player who wasn't hitting at the time.

"Whoa, Nellie!" - Dick Lane, broadcaster.

"Don't worry, it's a long way from your heart." -On getting a booboo and-
"Whatcha got, hot rod?" -R.V.

"This is not our planet, Monkey Boy!" - Buckaroo Banzai.

[Catty1]

One for the carpenters, from my dad: "He's half a bubble off plumb."

"My sponsor told me not to let my mind wander...it's too little to be outside by itself."

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

"God is easier to get along with than a lot of people would like to think. I mean, come on, any Creator who allowed the duck-billed platypus...":D

From a musician friend: "As nervous as a bag of wet squirrels."

[Freedom]

Richard, thank you so much for starting this thread! I have to keep checking in with the sayings people are sharing, and wow, there are some great ones.

[jennielynn1970]

Hrm... let's see... about men who are handsome but lacking in the most important way
"He may be easy on the eyes, but damn, he's as dumb as a stick."

Dumb as a box of rocks (another teacher uses that one)

Not the brightest crayon in the box (art teacher)

Usually any That 70's shows lines like "Eric, you don't have bad luck son, you're just a dumbass. (I tend to say dumbass quite frequently.

Oh, and my typical line after a friend or a kid said something really really stupid, and they know they said somehting stupid ... "LEAN IN..." and they know what comes next... ME, slapping them upside the head for their stupidity, lol. Never hard, but they know, and I'll get soem who say "Come on, you know what you have to do now!"

It's fun!

[slick]

"My sponsor told me not to let my mind wander...it's too little to be outside by itself." :D:D:D I definitely have to remember this one.
Not the brightest crayon in the box And on the heels of this one:

One wheel stuck in the sand
One brick short of a load
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
His/her elevator doesn't go to the top floor
The light's on but nobody's home
He/she's not playing with a full deck

Those are only a few that I can remember. I'm sure there's alot more.

[RICHARD]

One of my faves is

"They are looking for three legs on a cat, but they are gonna find four!

[catland]

This is from my mom - I only wish I had listened to her when I was younger...


If you can't be good, be careful.;)

[Rachel]

*You don't have to be a weather man to know which way the wind is blowing.*

Best when said to someone who tries to intimidate you by his *expertise*.

[Pam]

My boss' favorite one is "the devil is in the details." We hear this almost every time there is an office meeting. :rolleyes:

[RICHARD]

I really wish I could take credit for this one.

I was in the produce department of the supermarket and there was a woman with two kidsr. They were not misbehaving or acting up.......

She was trying to get their attention so she could move on so she says playfully to them. "Come on, Children of the Corn!"

COTC was a short story and later a movie from Stephen King-it was about a town where evil children were in charge and would kill adults that came into town or anyone of their group that turned 18.

----------
I looked at her and started to laugh...she saw me and got embarrassed....she began to apologize and I told her that it was O.K. I just never had heard anyone call their kids that.

Now when I see any kids acting badly I whisper under my breath.....Children of the Corn!!

[Catty1]

Speaking of produce departments, I have seem this sign only twice in three years, always posted where the bananas are for sale:

"Bananas - imported."

Ya THINK????? :D:D:D

[kitten645]

You can't idiot-proof the world! :rolleyes:
What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?


Claudia

[wolf_Q]

My boss has some very uhhh colorful sayings lol...most of which I've only heard her say. The only one I can think of right now is "They ain't got the brains God gave a bent screwdriver!" Has anyone else heard that before?

I like the saying (well, it goes something like this, can't remember it exactly) "Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

[RICHARD]

My boss has some very uhhh colorful sayings lol...most of which I've only heard her say. The only one I can think of right now is "They ain't got the brains God gave a bent screwdriver!" Has anyone else heard that before?

I like the saying (well, it goes something like this, can't remember it exactly) "Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

LOL,

These are precious....

Keep them coming!:D

[wolf_Q]

Another one she often says (when somebody asks when something will be done) is "The second Tuesday of next week." If somebody asks if she's busy she'll say "Busier than a cat covering up s**t." Those aren't even the really "colorful" ones, but those are all I can think of right now. I'm not sure I've ever talked to anyone with as many sayings as she has, I don't know how she comes up with them all. :confused:

[kitten645]

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.
Behind every sucessful marriage, is a surprised mother-in-law.
Don't question your wifes judgement. Look who she married.
If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone, come sit by me.

My personal favorite that I use often:
How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Claudia

[Miss Z]

"Who's rattled 'is cage?"

"S/he couldn't organise a p*ss-up in a brewery/mud-bath at Glastonbury"

"No chance, mate."

"You and who's army?"

"As happy as a pig in muck!"

I am ashamed of myself. :p:D

[sumbirdy]

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

I don't know who said it, but it's one of my fave's, and has great significance to me.

[anna_66]

When my grandpa was still around I'd say "I have a headache", he'd say "If I had a head like that it would hurt too"

This is something my dad used to say to me (I was a smart a** quite a lot):
"I'll smack you into the middle of next week"
Sometimes I wish he would have...then I wouldn't be in trouble any more:p

[RICHARD]

"I'll smack you into the middle of next week"
Sometimes I wish he would have...then I wouldn't be in trouble any more:p

LOL, Then you would have missed the weekends!:confused:

Oh ,

Who can forget...

"As nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!"

[kitten645]

My dad used to quote Bill Cosby to my brother...
"Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" :p

Loved the COTC reference. My friend sometimes calls her kid Damian. LOL!
Claudia

[RICHARD]

I heard this one during Monday Night Football and it makes me crazy.

Hand to hand (as in fighting and combat....) in spanish is "MANO A MANO".

I cringe when I hear people used it incorrectly.

Mano y mano is Hand and hand.
The announcer on MNF says "mano y mano, man to man"

WTF?
You can't even get one side of the equation right!:rolleyes:

[Moesha]

hombre a hombre -- just doesn't have the same ring to it I guess.

[RICHARD]

hombre a hombre -- just doesn't have the same ring to it I guess.


No en Espanol es "Brokeback Mountain".;)

[slick]

One saying I just can't stand is

"My bad". I hate it......

[Catty1]

"As busy as a one-armed paper hanger." I like that one.

"As nervous as a bag of wet squirrels.":D

[Karen]

Found a button that a friend gave me back when we worked together at the local weekly newspaper. under crazy deadline with crazy (usually in a good way) bosses:

"Only by attempting the impossible can we achieve the absurd!"

and we also had another that said

"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger"

[RICHARD]

This one I will never figure out.


Ambulance Entrance.

They park outside, the patient goes in but the ambulance stays outdoors!

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Soo... I was a little slow on the jokes last night, and my cousin told me that my hamster was going a little slow in my head... Well Jon piped in, and said, "Yeah, your hamsters ACTUALLY having an identity crisis, it thinks its a turtle."

Okay. Stupid, I know, but it made us all laugh reaaaaaally hard, cuz then they started calling my "hamster" a "hamstertle".

I can't think of anything else incredibly witty right now... maybe later, lol.

[Andie]

ME: I'm about two second away from going crazy.
Dustin: It's not that far of a trip for you, babe.

:rolleyes: It made me laugh at the time.

[Suki Wingy]

I have a habit of adding "I don't know, ask Vanessa Redgrave!" to the end of questions.
(Comes from a 1981 stand up sketch by Rik Mayall)

[mustlovedogs]

I have sooooo many sayings that I love...

but the ones on here are very cute too! :)

[Husky_mom]

No en Espanol es "Brokeback Mountain".;)

ok.. LMAO... haha.....

one of my all time is when I refer to multiple things of one kind I usually say "treinta mil"... which is like saying "there were like 30 thousand cars yesterday"

this is a common conversation with hubby and I while driving around:

me: where are we going?
he: to the moon...

this actually came from a movie we saw.. LOL....

another ones I constantly say..

I don´t know (actually in english)
si no le gusta bye... (if he/she/they don´t like it... bye)
esta bien... (as in nodding not so convinced about somehting)
hijo de tu madre!!... (not a bad word, it mean son of your mother, which is actually true isn´t it :p)

[Ginger's Mom]

I just have to put this here because it has had me giggling for days now. I rented Underdog this weekend. "There's no need to worry, Underdog is furry." LOlolololololol. Ha, sorry. :D

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Yea, and I may turn green, grow feathers and learn to fly, but I doubt it! :D

(one I made up and use a lot!!!)

Get off that phone. You're not THAT important!!! ( one I used to yell at people using cell phones while driving ) (I'd still yell it if I was still driving) :D

[Casper]

If my mum catches someone talking about something and doesn't specify who "we" is she will reply...
"Who's we? Ya have a turd in your pocket?"


Also...


"I'm so hungry I could eat the paint off the walls."
I am always hungry, so I use this plenty. :-)

[RICHARD]

I don´t know (actually in english)
si no le gusta bye... (if he/she/they don´t like it... bye)
esta bien... (as in nodding not so convinced about somehting)
hijo de tu madre!!... (not a bad word, it mean son of your mother, which is actually true isn´t it :p)

My dad's favorite was 'Hijo de la guayaba'!

translated? Son of a guayaba-which is a tree fruit.

And "son of a boliche', said with a thick Mex accent!
"Son of bowling!";)

-------

I don't like the saying,
"It is what it is"....ugh!

[captain]

Yes, my Dad always had a few -

"He/She couldn't organise a _ _ _ _ in a brothel with $50"

I am a trainer in IT, and if someone is a smarty pants and says things like "Can I give you a tip" - I usually reply "Let me give you one, Race number 2, Horse number 5".

Or

"Don't Pee into the wind" (I LOVE that one!!)

"One sandwich short of a picnic"

......... great thread!!!

[RICHARD]

Yes, my Dad always had a few -

"He/She couldn't organise a _ _ _ _ in a brothel with $50"

I am a trainer in IT, and if someone is a smarty pants and says things like "Can I give you a tip" - I usually reply "Let me give you one, Race number 2, Horse number 5".



Hey YOU!

That reminded me my personal favorite - If I go out to eat and the service is good, I leave a larger gratuity-if the server has a sense of humor - I tell them that I'll give them a tip for their tip.....

Then I whisper to them, "Don't bet on the (insert the local sports team name)."

-------------

My other favorite for a restaurant is when the server comes over and asks if I want a box for the leftovers.(The square styrofoam containters for take out food.)

I always say, "Box for it? No, but if you want to wrestle for it, let's go!"

That one came out of the blue one day and it works when you have diners within earshot!:rolleyes:

[smokey the elder]

"As busy as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest"

"Dumb as a box of doorknobs (or hammers)".

"Go P!ss up a rope."

[Cincy'sMom]

-------

I don't like the saying,
"It is what it is"....ugh!

That is one that bothers me too!! I was bored at work one day and wrote a whole rant email to some of my friends about it...


P!ss up a rope."

Also a great song by Ween....

[Killearn Kitties]

First out the taxi, last to the bar.

[captain]

"Go P!ss up a rope."

OMG - Hahahahahaha

[Suki Wingy]

Instead of swearing I say "What the F, David Blaine!"

[momcat]

My ultra all time favorite is:

"Progress might have been alright once but now it's gone on for too long!"

The second:

"We don't inherit the land from our ancestors...
We borrow it from our children"

[CountryWolf07]

ME: I'm about two second away from going crazy.
Dustin: It's not that far of a trip for you, babe.

:rolleyes: It made me laugh at the time.

LOL!

"Taco Bell!"
"No, White Castle!"

"Keep it up, or it's White Castle."

I remember this because I was saying how much I hated White Castle, and it made me sick the first time I ate food there... and Mike just teases me.. and Taco Bell is my "drunk" food, honestly, just an inside joke that makes me laugh every time.

[Lilith Cherry]

"As much use as a chocolate teapot!"

"Rare as rocking-horse shit."

"Done up like a dog's dinner."

" He's lost his marbles."


These are fun , Richard; good thread!

[RICHARD]

I was watching a special on NASA today and I heard another of my faves!

Arse over teakettle.


Like WTF were you doing in the kitchen when that happened?;)

[DJFyrewolf36]

I liked "xyz flew like a lead balloon" until I saw a Mythbusters show that proved that you could indeed make a balloon out of lead and fly it :D

[RICHARD]

I liked "xyz flew like a lead balloon" until I saw a Mythbusters show that proved that you could indeed make a balloon out of lead and fly it :D

I love that show!

I gave up on my 'pad by the chair' to write things down....I guess I can get back to it now!

[pomtzu]

To use when someone's trying to pull a fast one on you....

"I may have been born at night - but not last night!"

[Suki Wingy]

What I say about twice a days is, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever seen in my life!" Usually aimed at a certain channel on TV or infomercials or something that someone says.

[The_Duck]

"It's colder than the last guy's bottom on a too short toboggan!"

[pitc9]

You're nuttier than a squirrel turd.

You're cooler than the other side of the pillow.