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MoonandBean
05-10-2008, 08:37 PM
DOG'S DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




CAT'S DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.


In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his fe et as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Emeraldgreen
05-10-2008, 08:48 PM
That is so funny! I remember someone emailing that to me a few years back but I had forgotten how hilarious it is! Thanks for posting it. I needed a good laugh.
LOL :)

Sonia59
05-11-2008, 08:35 AM
Very funny! Thanks!:D

shepgirl
05-11-2008, 10:14 AM
Hilarious, thanks.

momcat
05-11-2008, 02:00 PM
Only those folks owned by a pet can get the full meaning of this absolutely hysterical post. I'm still laughing and can't wait to share this with my "owned by my pet" friends. Thanks so much for sharing!

catmandu
05-11-2008, 04:52 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/catphotos637.jpg
THATS FUNNY BUT I PRAY THE FOUND CATS DONT FEEL THAT WAY.

MoonandBean
05-11-2008, 05:34 PM
Only those folks owned by a pet can get the full meaning of this absolutely hysterical post. I'm still laughing and can't wait to share this with my "owned by my pet" friends. Thanks so much for sharing!



I received that as an email and just had to pass it along; glad it made you smile :)


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/catphotos637.jpg
THATS FUNNY BUT I PRAY THE FOUND CATS DONT FEEL THAT WAY.

Of course, none of the PT cats feel that way! And yours know they have found heaven on earth!!