RICHARD
04-21-2008, 02:06 AM
Actually I mean, How many words can a cat get out of you?
Think of all the cuss words you can, think of putting them in different orders, then use each one 50 times a piece in the space of one half hour.
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First of all I need everyone to take an oath of silence.....
Good!
When the Edster and I go a visitin' to Ed's G-ma's crib (Sorry, I have to do this in "Gansta", I don't want to come off as a wussy!) I get some of her kitchen ware to use as a temp water dish for him.
I end up mopping the floors because the little turd pulls the dish all over kingdom come and spilling water.
I graduated to a giant pyrex bowl. Not as much water spilled but I am still mopping.
I got an old pressure cooker pot and filled it with water-the dang thing is dangerous. I have kicked it twice and sloshed the water out when it has mysteriously moved across the floor of my mom's kitchen. Still, I am not mopping as much as I was.
Until tonight.
Hanging out next door and I refilled the pot, placed it a box of clothes washing soap.....and forgot it. *&$*&%^%^
I went back into the front room to talk with my mom and a few seconds later....BOOM! I slid back into the kitchen and see Ed, clear across the room looking at me. I see the pot on the floor and a puddle of water that is growing from about three feet square to about six by four by the time I get the mop. ^#%$#^%^
The Edster, sensing that a quit trip home is a wise choice, boogies over to the back door while I mop furiously. Mom, in the next room asks, "What happened?" ME? ratting out the cat ain't my thing, so I lie and say "Oh, Nothing!"
I get the back door open, the Edster zooms back toward my house and I get to the door, open it up and provide a little sanctuary for the *%#$#)*&(#&.
I sure am glad the Pope went home today.....I would have burned his ears right off his holy head! :(
I get the floor mopped up and then saunter off to my house to check on the Edmeister. I turn on the light to the room where he is hiding and ...
He's gone ahead and spilled ALL THE @%$#($% WATER out of his bowl.
I grab my mop and start to mop, Again.....(*#^)*$^&
I turn and see him walk his wet feet across the desk, the keyboard and knocks over the $#)#*($*& computer speaker.
Oh, When I am in a mood where I want to express my displeasure at the Edster, I use that line that Sarah Connor said to the Terminator right before she pushed the button that crushed the poop outta that cyborg in the original movie.
That said....literally, I go about setting my world straight......then I get the "Cat Box Drum Roll", You know...when the cat has cat litter stuck to his paws and bangs his foot on the box to dislodge it! I have to laugh! It serves your *(&#^$^#^ little arse right for spilling water and then jumpin' into the cat box......
Two seconds later he walk over to where I am and does the drum roll again....flinging bits of cat litter from his other rear paw....
At this point I have to &*#^$%^%$#% laugh.
Can you imagine seeing a buffoon like me, mop in hand, cursing, then crying like a baby?
Not on your (*$#^@# life! :rolleyes: :mad: :p
Think of all the cuss words you can, think of putting them in different orders, then use each one 50 times a piece in the space of one half hour.
---------------
First of all I need everyone to take an oath of silence.....
Good!
When the Edster and I go a visitin' to Ed's G-ma's crib (Sorry, I have to do this in "Gansta", I don't want to come off as a wussy!) I get some of her kitchen ware to use as a temp water dish for him.
I end up mopping the floors because the little turd pulls the dish all over kingdom come and spilling water.
I graduated to a giant pyrex bowl. Not as much water spilled but I am still mopping.
I got an old pressure cooker pot and filled it with water-the dang thing is dangerous. I have kicked it twice and sloshed the water out when it has mysteriously moved across the floor of my mom's kitchen. Still, I am not mopping as much as I was.
Until tonight.
Hanging out next door and I refilled the pot, placed it a box of clothes washing soap.....and forgot it. *&$*&%^%^
I went back into the front room to talk with my mom and a few seconds later....BOOM! I slid back into the kitchen and see Ed, clear across the room looking at me. I see the pot on the floor and a puddle of water that is growing from about three feet square to about six by four by the time I get the mop. ^#%$#^%^
The Edster, sensing that a quit trip home is a wise choice, boogies over to the back door while I mop furiously. Mom, in the next room asks, "What happened?" ME? ratting out the cat ain't my thing, so I lie and say "Oh, Nothing!"
I get the back door open, the Edster zooms back toward my house and I get to the door, open it up and provide a little sanctuary for the *%#$#)*&(#&.
I sure am glad the Pope went home today.....I would have burned his ears right off his holy head! :(
I get the floor mopped up and then saunter off to my house to check on the Edmeister. I turn on the light to the room where he is hiding and ...
He's gone ahead and spilled ALL THE @%$#($% WATER out of his bowl.
I grab my mop and start to mop, Again.....(*#^)*$^&
I turn and see him walk his wet feet across the desk, the keyboard and knocks over the $#)#*($*& computer speaker.
Oh, When I am in a mood where I want to express my displeasure at the Edster, I use that line that Sarah Connor said to the Terminator right before she pushed the button that crushed the poop outta that cyborg in the original movie.
That said....literally, I go about setting my world straight......then I get the "Cat Box Drum Roll", You know...when the cat has cat litter stuck to his paws and bangs his foot on the box to dislodge it! I have to laugh! It serves your *(&#^$^#^ little arse right for spilling water and then jumpin' into the cat box......
Two seconds later he walk over to where I am and does the drum roll again....flinging bits of cat litter from his other rear paw....
At this point I have to &*#^$%^%$#% laugh.
Can you imagine seeing a buffoon like me, mop in hand, cursing, then crying like a baby?
Not on your (*$#^@# life! :rolleyes: :mad: :p