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Kfamr
08-18-2002, 01:18 PM
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Fritos
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Sign at Railroad Station

Cannot be made non-poisonous.
Windshield Wash Fluid

Caution: Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object.
Hammer

Caution: Hot beverages are hot!
Coffee Cup

Caution: Never drive with the cover on your windshield
Automobile Windshield cover:

Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish
Dog Shampoo

Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
Rubber Ball

Directions: Use like regular soap
Dial soap

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
Swedish chain saw

Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
SGI computer

Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Children's cough medicine

Do not eat toner.
Laser Printer Cartridge

Do not eat urinal cakes.
Rest Stop in Wisconsin

Do not light the flame near the face.
Cigarette Lighter

Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
Laser Pointer

Do not pour liquids into your television set.
Television Owner’s Manual

Do not put lit candles on phone.
Cordless Phone

Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.
Battery

Do not turn upside down. (printed on bottom of the box)
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert

Do not use for drying pets.
Microwave Oven

Do not use intimately.
Deodorant

Do not use orally after using rectally.
Electronic Thermometer

Do not use orally.
Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush

Fits one head.
Hotel Shower Cap

For external use only!
Curling Iron

For indoor or outdoor use only.
Christmas lights

For lifting purposes only
Car Jack

If swallowed or lodged in ear or nose see doctor.
Ray-O-Vac Renewal AA Batteries

If you are seated in an exit aisle and are unable to read this, please ask a stewardess to reseat you.
Cayman Airlines safety booklet

Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included.
VCR

Keep out of children.
Korean Kitchen Knives

Not dishwasher safe.
TV Remote Control

Not for human consumption.
Package of Dice

Not for weight control.
Breath Savers

Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame

Not to be used as protection from a tornado.
blanket from Taiwan

Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor

Open packet and eat contents.
Pack of Peanuts

PARENT: Please exercise caution—mask and chest plate are not protective; cape does not enable wearer to fly.
Bat Man The Animated Series Armor Set

Peel fruit from cellophane before eating.
Fruit Roll-ups

Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.
Grapes

Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding

Remember: Objects in mirror are actually behind you.
Bike Helmet Mirror

Remove used tampon before inserting a new one.
Tampax Tampons

Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinners

Theft of this container is a crime.
Milk Crate

There shall be three (3) access levels with level 4 being the highest level.
Fire Alarm System

This camera only works when there is film inside.
Camera

This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly.
Halloween Superman Costume

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
Insect Spray from New Zealand

Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Soft Drink

Use caution when using near fire, flame, or sparks.
Fireplace Lighter

USE EXTREME CAUTION when stretching cord over load. Keep face and other vulnerable body parts away from potential cord rebound path.
Bungee cord

USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
Taiwanese shampoo

Warning - this spray is harmful to bees
Insect Spray

Warning! Never iron clothes on the body.
Rowenta Iron

Warning: contains nuts
Sainsbury's Peanuts

Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
Midol PMS

WARNING: Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer

Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Heated Seat Cushion

Warning: drug may cause sleepiness.
Sleeping Pill Prescription

Warning: Flame may cause fire.
Butane Lighter

Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Rat Poison

Warning: knives are sharp!
Sharpening Stone

Warning: may cause drowsiness.
Nytol

Warning: May contain small parts.
Frisbee

WARNING: Not for use as earplugs.
Silly Putty

Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated.
Pop-Tarts

Warning: Remove child before folding baby stroller.
Baby Stroller

Warning: This product can burn eyes
Curling Iron

I found theese really amusing.

Cincy'sMom
08-18-2002, 01:26 PM
LOL! People are so dumb! You know those labels are there cause somebody sued!

I honestly saw on a box of popsicles a warning that contents were could and could freeze to the tongue. Allow to warm slighly before eating!

krazyaboutkatz
08-18-2002, 03:27 PM
LOL :D :D :D Thanks for sharing. :)

Nomilynn
08-18-2002, 05:35 PM
I copied those to send to my friends.. they are too funny! :D

sottice
08-18-2002, 08:23 PM
ROFL!
Thanks for sharing. I'm still laughing! :D

wolf_Q
08-19-2002, 12:33 AM
LOL those are great. I always think the "no purchase necessary, details inside" is dumb. So can you just open the bag of chips in the store, see if you are a winner, then leave them there? lol.

I've noticed that the 2 liter bottles of soda now say "do not point toward face" or something like that......you know the only reason they say that is because some dumb nut shook it up, pointed it at their own face, then sued them I bet. :rolleyes:

DoggiesAreTheBest
08-19-2002, 06:42 AM
That list is hilarious:)

Ann
08-19-2002, 08:26 AM
While a lot of those are funny, I gotta point out that all the ones that originated from outside of America aren't correct. For examples, there are NO chainsaws in Sweden that says "do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". My father works with chainsaws a lot and I've seen plenty of them and I KNOW that it would never have such a warning label. The person who made this list either just translated it completely wrong or simply totally made it up. The same goes for the Japanese and the Korean ones. I guess they can get away with that because most people just laugh and think "oh, those wierd countries".

The ones that originated from America though do crack me up. Especially when I realize that there have been people who has sued about those things. Like the woman who sued McDonalds for having too hot coffee, that's why they have labels like that. I guess, in a way it's not funny, but pretty sad to see how stupid people really can be.

anna_66
08-19-2002, 08:27 AM
very funny:D

lovemymaltese
08-20-2002, 01:29 PM
LOL!!:D :D

Dakota's Mommy
08-25-2002, 12:11 AM
Those are halarious! Thanks for sharing. It's so crazy what these people have to warn against just to protect themselves from getting sued!