PDA

View Full Version : A little or big breakthrough? (with Mike)



CountryWolf07
12-17-2007, 11:19 AM
So, on Saturday night before he left to go home, we were saying our goodbye's, then all of a sudden, I was standing on the thing by his truck.. like, you step on to get inside... and I was just looking at him and I started crying.. and he turns on the light in his truck and goes "Rachel, why are you crying, what's the matter, why are you so upset?" (By the way I never have gotten THAT emotional over anything..so I was surprised at myself.. for keeping it inside for a while.. and not finding the opportunity to say...)
I asked him "How do you feel about me?" and he goes "What? Rachel you should know this by now.. I don't like to talk about my feelings, I just never have done that.. you know that, my entire family is the same way. and I said well I have been trying to come up with a way of how to say it.. and it just.. I can't say it, and he goes "Me too you just don't have to say it.. it doesn't matter, I know." and he said "I know I don't say I love you, but the only time I say it is to my mom. She's my mom. I just don't do that. Look at us, we're together, for a year now, and we're fine, it's just that what we have is different, you're different, it's good. It's just something you don't have to say it, it's okay. I just told him that his family is different than mine, he was raised different, I was raised different. He doesn't deal with words, just action, but I'm the opposite. Then I realized I am really happy with what we have, and I don't take it for granted.

And now that we both know, and it's just easy enough to say it the next time, but when it comes to us, you can see it through our actions towards each other than just words we say to each other.

He is going with me to my dad's parents in Dayton on Saturday for a family Christmas, and I am looking forward to it, he will be meeting my dad's side for the first time. My grandma bought him a Christmas gift, which she didn't have to. She didn't want him to feel left out because of the Christmas deal.

Wow. Love is really crazy. I can now understand that hate can be easy but love is hard! Maybe it is a breakthrough, after all, we both know it's there and that's just it. I don't believe anyone who says that love is easy! It's definitely not.

lvpets2002
12-17-2007, 12:28 PM
;) Hey Girl Always Remember This "Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words".. Many Congrats on you two's Happieness/Love..

kittycats_delight
12-17-2007, 02:18 PM
You know Rachel some guys/girls find it really easy to say those 3 little words that mean so much. But usually to those people it is just that...words. Words to make the other person comfortable and for them to get what they want. Others have a very hard time saying it. It isn't because the feeling are not there and not valid but it is because they are. It is a big very big deal to them to say something so profound. In my husband's culture (he's italian) Ti amo (I love you) in not used a lot. They have other words to express the feeling but they are not so deep and meaningful. Even a lot of couples and married people do not say Ti amo 'I love you'. For some it is a big step and the meaning is very deep. You guys are happy. You know he loves you...he shows you and you know you love him. You will see that over time he will feel more and more comfortable and eventually when he feels the time is right those words will come out. And believe me they will mean so much more. I think for Mike those words are connected to a very strong, deep and profound emotion. I think he feels he has some control as long as the words say unsaid. But like I said you will see he WILL say them. :)

(((HUGS)))
Enjoy your time together with family. It is obvious your grandma thinks he is pretty special already without ever having met him and I am sure Mike will be very touched.

Michelle

CountryWolf07
12-17-2007, 02:45 PM
Exactly. We both are just on the same level, always have been, and it's a great feeling to have, knowing that Mike does, and I do, too. I was just really scared to be like that in front of him when that happened, because I had no idea what was going on through his head, but, everything is alright. I just kind of look back on that moment and think, I should've not done that, but maybe I should be glad that I did, and got something out of him, a chance to see him explain his side. Eh, either way, I can't wait to introduce him to my grandparents. It is a big deal. =) I've met everyone in Mike's family, and now he will be doing the same.

kittycats_delight
12-17-2007, 02:51 PM
you know I think it is a good thing it happened. It really give an idea about how solidly he feels for you. Think about it...you cried and all over it so it was something you needed to get out and he didn't freak out and run...he talked to you and explained things. So just from his reaction it shows just how much you mean to him.

And you are right about meeting your grandparents too. It is a big deal and he is all for it. So if you ask me he is definately a keeper and has no intention of going anywhere. :) He is a good guy and you both fit together so nicely. You make a great couple. :)

Medusa
12-17-2007, 05:19 PM
If the words "I love you" easily roll off a man's tongue, I'm automatically suspicious. If you want to be sure whether or not he's the one for you, pay attention to what he does and less to what he says. (unless, of course, he's verbally abusive, which he obviously isn't or you would've mentioned it.) Some men, my late father was one, have difficulty expressing themselves verbally. Others, like my ex-boyfriend, never shut the hell up. I prefer the former.

Pawsitive Thinking
12-20-2007, 06:11 AM
Sounds pretty special to me :D

Daisy and Delilah
12-20-2007, 06:23 AM
From now on, Rachel, it should get easier and easier. It's so hard to show emotion, affection, etc., if you're not used to it. Some men are openly emotional when others haven't been raised to be like that at all. Not necessarily raised like that in all cases but just not that way.

I think this is the breakthrough you've been waiting for. Mike thinks the sun rises and sets on you. Don't worry about how it happened. You can do no wrong in his eyes. I believe he loves you for everything you are and all you stand for. Hearing him say "I love you" all the time is right around the corner. Happiness always!!!! I love this wonderful relationship!! :)

Rachel
12-20-2007, 09:18 AM
So, on Saturday night before he left to go home, we were saying our goodbye's, then all of a sudden, I was standing on the thing by his truck.. like, you step on to get inside...

It's a *running board*.

M&M's Mommy
12-21-2007, 12:55 PM
My hubby doesn't say those three little words very often either, which makes everytime he does say it a million times sweeter.

I remember when we were dating, sometimes I got into the mood and wanted to hear the words, I had to ask him "Honey, do you really, really, really love me?" - and every times, he answered with "I could be in a million different places right now, but I'm here with you, aren't I?" - then he smiled & I understood. That was it! He dodged the question every times!

He did say he loves me when he proposed to me on his knees, and when he declared his love for me in front of God & ... 500 people on our wedding day.. :D

6 years later, he still choses to be right beside me when he could be somewhere else, and by his actions, he shows me daily how he truly loves me. Well, I'm very happy to report that after all these years, he did learn that I love hearing the words, too, and now says them to me everyday when he hugs/kisses me good-bye to leave for work!

So, yeah. I think actions do speak louder than words, but the "I love you" words do speak a lots to the lovers' hearts, too.