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View Full Version : Can I redeem myself?



ILoveMyAbbyGirl
11-07-2007, 11:58 PM
I've been lurking for a while. Truth be told, I MISS you guys!

I really distanced myself with the whole Butch thing a year ago. I've made many mistakes, and if you'll all lend me an ear, I'd like to explain a few things. :)

(this is just a cross-post from a journal.)

"i met him two years ago. he is a friend of my dad's. butch, the soldier, owned a small snow cone stand that was in the parking lot of our biggest grocery store here. butch needed another worker, so i volunteered.

we bonded INSTANTLY. he has that amazing personality; he loves to talk about anything, gives great advice and has the best laugh. he has funny jokes (and really corny ones) but he's just a great person.

i think the reason i love him is because when i met butch, my parents were going through a divorce and my dad had just met his girlfriend. i went from being seventeen and being a major daddy's girl to having to share every aspect of my dad with this woman i hardly knew. butch became the person to go to when i got so frustrated with not having all of my dad.

let me back track a bit--- my parents split in january of 2004. my mom moved out. even when my parents were married (they were married for 18 years) my dad was the only person around. my mom was (and still is) clinically depressed. she was always distant, never did things with us, never did anything around the house and never supported me in particular. my dad was my whole world. in march of 2007, the divorce was final.

dad, brother and i moved into an apartment. he was always with us, he played games with us, took us places, made dinner, he did it all. then four months or so after they split in 04, he met angie, his girlfriend.

she's got two kids from a previous marriage. all of a sudden, my dad went from being mine to being hers. i had to share, and as selfish as it sounds, i was so heartbroken and jealous.

then butch came along and he cared about me. he has told me on more than one occasion that he thinks of me as a daughter. he cares about me, he would do anything for me, and i the same for him. i spent endless days working with him at the stand, traveling with him to various fairs and working there.

i don't want to say he replaced my dad, because i love my dad. butch just gave me that love and support that i had to struggle to get from my dad.

i don't love him in a romantic way. yes, i love him. he kept me going when i was down, he pulled me through my toughest time. he was there for me when i felt like my dad was too busy with the new soon-to-be step-family.

now butch is thousands of miles away in iraq, fighting to stay alive. i feel lost, like im in the middle of a desert, stranded and i have nothing. it's so hard to be strong when he, quite literally, kept me alive for two years."

Soo... Butch has been deployed since... July 13th or so. I'm alive. I get emails from him and it always makes my day better.

My stepmom and I don't get along much. I just avoid her, avoid conflict and things are okay.

I'm actually looking at moving out with my cousin, but being a full-time college student and working only a part time job (I'm a dog groomer!) is putting a bit of a strain on me financially and I can't really afford it yet.

Edward is doing fine, still a little stuffy. My grandpa has pneumonia (again!), school is lots of fun, I'm doing well in my classes and I'm trying to turn things around.

I MISS YOU GUYS! I'm sorry I distanced myself. I've grown up, I promise. Take me back? ;) :p

K9karen
11-08-2007, 12:12 AM
You don't need forgiveness from me. We all mess up. Live and learn. You're so young to be going through so much. I'm glad you like school and are doing well. Welcome Back.

ILoveMyAbbyGirl
11-08-2007, 12:15 AM
Thank you. :)

BC_MoM
11-08-2007, 12:34 AM
I'm not sure if I was around when whatever happened, but never think that you have to ask us to let you come back! It's a fact - most people learn from their mistakes. And you sound like one of them!

Looking forward to having you as a part of PT. :)

moosmom
11-08-2007, 03:06 AM
LMAG,

Welcome back!!! You sound like you've really matured in the time you've been away. Life can certainly do that to you.

I saw myself in every word you wrote, and I know exactly what you're saying. It only took my father 3 months to find his girlfriend, who eventually became my stepmother. I had to struggle to get his affection. I didn't mind sharing him, but it always seemed that HER children were more important (she had 3 girls by 3 different husbands). The youngest was 9 and I babysat while they went out on dates. He was married to her for 15 years. It is a period in my life I'd like to forget completely.

Not to bogart your thread or anything, I just want you to know that I've been where you are and it's no fun trying to compete with your parent's love and affection. I'm just glad I had my friends to help me through it all. We're here for you, honey. I'll PM you with my phone number. Call me anytime and I can call you back. I've got free minutes.

Take care of yourself.

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Donna

anna_66
11-08-2007, 07:20 AM
You need never to feel like you need to redeem yourself or explain things to us. We're (PT) family and family is always there for you:)

I know what your going through must be hard and I can't imagine the pain you've been feeling with all that's happened lately.

Come here and pour your heart out. We'll be there.

((HUGS)))
Anna

Freedom
11-08-2007, 07:27 AM
Welcome back!

I didn't know aobut all that; I jsut knew you went off and didn't post. I am glad you are coming back.

Daisy and Delilah
11-08-2007, 07:43 AM
You need never to feel like you need to redeem yourself or explain things to us. We're (PT) family and family is always there for you:)

I know what your going through must be hard and I can't imagine the pain you've been feeling with all that's happened lately.

Come here and pour your heart out. We'll be there.

((HUGS)))
Anna

I couldn't agree more, Anna.

Honey, we're here for you. I've never found fault in anything you've done. I try not to judge anyone. I haven't lived a squeaky clean life and that's a fact. People do what they have to do and everything happens for a reason. Don't worry about a thing. You've got lots of friends here :)

I know you're going through alot from what you've posted. All I can do is tell you stay with us and send you {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Pawsitive Thinking
11-08-2007, 08:12 AM
Welcome back! {{big hug}}

Cataholic
11-08-2007, 08:33 AM
I have always thought you were pretty mature and level-headed, and I wasn't surprised that Butch became a major player in your life. I thought it was inappropriate for him, but, not for you. You are a young lady, not quite a child, not quite an adult, and you were/are totally struggling with WAY more than any young person should. I feel for you. You, and every young person, deserves more. You deserve total love and devotion from your parents, you should be first in their lives, and I can never understand any parent putting their romantic relationship ahead of their child. It hurts to know you are going through this.

Having said that, the only person that you need to forgive, or seek forgiveness from, is yourself. Not us. And, I don't see the need for you to forgive yourself, anyhow.

Just take CARE of yourself. Make sure your actions/choices are those that are best for YOU. Good luck.

Johanna

shais_mom
11-08-2007, 08:40 AM
welcome back.
I wish you the best of luck in your new endeavors... And keep Butch in my prayers as well as all the other people fighting overseas....
{hugs}

ILoveMyAbbyGirl
11-08-2007, 10:04 AM
Thank you all, so much. I really appreciate it.

I'm struggling, but I try really hard not to let it get to me. Some days it does and man, I become very weak. It's those days that you just turn on some good music, take a drive and just hope it goes away.

I'm doing better. Gavin is... wow... four years old. He is so amazing. I can't help but smile being around this little boy. Forgive me, I haven't got any pictures I can post, but I'll try and get some soon. Through this whole dilemma I've lost touch with my camera, so I'll have to pick it up again soon. (Besides, I don't find a lot of beauty and inspiration in Wisconsin winters, so I find it hard to pick up my camera!) But Gavin is my pride and joy, that's for sure. I love having a nephew. I'd love to have another niece or nephew, but I'm sure they couldn't quite compare to this little boy.

Just a short Gavin story-- I've been taking him to school in the mornings lately (actually, I'm headed to do that in about an hour) and we take my car. I open the door and toss a few of my college textbooks out of the way and he looks at me and goes, "Why is your car such a PIG STY, Megan?"

*sigh* What a BORE my life would be without that little man critiquing my every move. :D

Thank you guys. :)

Karen
11-08-2007, 11:21 AM
Welcome back, how much longer is Butch's deployment? Have they said? Yup, you have a lot on your plate right now, but we're here for ya, kid! I had to grin at Gavin's comment, though!

Ginger's Mom
11-08-2007, 11:54 AM
Welcome back. Glad to hear that you have decided to become more active at Pet Talk again. I will look forward to seeing more pictures from you (so get that camera out :) ). I always love seeing pictures of Gavin, and didn't you have a really cute Airedale? ;) There are lots of great things you can snap pictures of inside, and lots of friends are waiting online to see and hear more from you. Glad to hear you are doing well at and enjoying school.

pitc9
11-08-2007, 12:06 PM
Just as the others have said... I too am glad your back.
{{{hugs}}}

My prayers are with Butch and all the other men and women serving their country.

buttercup132
11-08-2007, 12:23 PM
I'm not sure if I was around when whatever happened Same, but welcome back, I always see you post in the lets see you threds but I never know who you are.

Who's Gavin and Butch?

kimlovescats
11-08-2007, 01:10 PM
I've never met a person yet who didn't make mistakes! ;)

WELCOME BACK to your PT family!

Kim

ILoveMyAbbyGirl
11-08-2007, 03:07 PM
Gavin is my charming little nephew and Butch is a family friend that is currently deployed in Iraq. He actually got sent to Kuwait on August 9th, so he's been overseas for three months now. I am very proud of him. :)

As for Abby, my airedale, no. My mom surrendered her to the humane society this summer. Like I said, my mom is depressed and she gets in these moods where she feels like she has to make drastic changes. No, I'm not at all saying it's right, that's just the way she is. I will never get over the guilt I feel that Abby had to take the brunt of it this time. It breaks my heart everyday.

Thanks for the continued support, guys!