ILoveMyAbbyGirl
10-11-2007, 11:13 PM
i know this is pointless, but i just need to write this down and get it out of my head before i explode.
my cousin, we'll call her steph, got caught cutting and throwing up. her best friend called her mom and told her that she saw cuts on steph's arm and now my aunt is just in tears because steph is only 13.
steph confessed to her older sister, kate, that she not only is afraid of becoming fat, but she throws up because she gets stressed out. she's been cutting herself with the razor she uses to shave her legs. kate took steph alone in the bathroom and made her strip down so kate could see if she had more cuts anywhere else. steph had 13 cuts on her arms, most of which were infected.
i can't stop crying. she's thirteen, she shouldn't be feeling this much pain. she's ten pounds underweight as it is. i just want to hug her and tell her that i know how it feels to resort to cutting and how it isn't the answer. i want to tell her i know how it feels to be in pain and feel like nothing can make it better. she doesn't deserve this.
i know im a hypocrite. im happy that her parents found out, now she can get the help i never got.
which brings me to the next part. im jealous of her.
she got caught. her parents care, and they are so scared and want to help her. i never had that. my parents, friends, no one noticed the pain i was in. maybe that was all i needed, someone to see that i was hurting and try to help me.
you all know that i hardly have any relationship with my mom. the same thing is happening with my dad. he used to call me his best friend, and now he has angie, and his whole world is complete. i just dont feel like im a part of that world. there is no greater pain than that of losing your status as daddy's girl. i can't even begin to explain how much that hurts.
i feel like an outcast in my own family. my mom sure as hell doesnt care, and now my dad is starting the same stuff. i feel like i've got nobody, so here i am, in tears, praying that my poor thirteen year old cousin will not end up like this.
i wish i could help her, but kate told me specifically not to tell anyone. my aunt wants to keep this flare-up under wraps for a while.
please pray for her.
my cousin, we'll call her steph, got caught cutting and throwing up. her best friend called her mom and told her that she saw cuts on steph's arm and now my aunt is just in tears because steph is only 13.
steph confessed to her older sister, kate, that she not only is afraid of becoming fat, but she throws up because she gets stressed out. she's been cutting herself with the razor she uses to shave her legs. kate took steph alone in the bathroom and made her strip down so kate could see if she had more cuts anywhere else. steph had 13 cuts on her arms, most of which were infected.
i can't stop crying. she's thirteen, she shouldn't be feeling this much pain. she's ten pounds underweight as it is. i just want to hug her and tell her that i know how it feels to resort to cutting and how it isn't the answer. i want to tell her i know how it feels to be in pain and feel like nothing can make it better. she doesn't deserve this.
i know im a hypocrite. im happy that her parents found out, now she can get the help i never got.
which brings me to the next part. im jealous of her.
she got caught. her parents care, and they are so scared and want to help her. i never had that. my parents, friends, no one noticed the pain i was in. maybe that was all i needed, someone to see that i was hurting and try to help me.
you all know that i hardly have any relationship with my mom. the same thing is happening with my dad. he used to call me his best friend, and now he has angie, and his whole world is complete. i just dont feel like im a part of that world. there is no greater pain than that of losing your status as daddy's girl. i can't even begin to explain how much that hurts.
i feel like an outcast in my own family. my mom sure as hell doesnt care, and now my dad is starting the same stuff. i feel like i've got nobody, so here i am, in tears, praying that my poor thirteen year old cousin will not end up like this.
i wish i could help her, but kate told me specifically not to tell anyone. my aunt wants to keep this flare-up under wraps for a while.
please pray for her.