Catty1
09-23-2007, 11:24 PM
Gimme Much, Much Less
Scott Feschuk | September 10, 2007 | 11:23:08 | Permalink
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Welcome to the Monday Mailbag where, after Britney Spears’ “comeback” last night on the MTV Video Music Awards (where she "sang" her new "song" Gimme More), we are asking some questions of our own, including, “What the hell was that?” and, “No, seriously, what the hell?” This was a performance that will only make sense if we later find out it was part of a multinational pharmaceutical company’s field test of a new talent removal drug. With the benefit of a night’s sleep I can honestly say the whole thing was very much like watching a train wreck, but with more backup dancers.
For the record, it must be said that Britney at least got the lip-synching half right, in that she remembered to bring lips. The “synching” part, alas, seemed to cause her trouble. It was better when she just stopped trying. Then she could really focus on nailing her look of complete disinterest and performing a series of dance steps that can only be compared to what Rain Man must look like when he really needs to pee.
While Britney’s pants-soilingly awful performance is certainly well worth a look – especially if watching lousy mothers exhibiting all the grace and athleticism of a wounded puma is your "thing" – what I’d really pay money to see is a recording of the celebrity audience reacting to this mesmerizing display of inelegance and back fat. In the few cutaways we got, everyone seemed to be wearing a stunned facial expression that said, “Geez, I wonder when Borat is going to be climbing out of that Britney suit.”
Onward now. As ever, these are actual question from actual readers. Queries can be submitted at [email protected].
Scott Feschuk | September 10, 2007 | 11:23:08 | Permalink
[email protected]
Welcome to the Monday Mailbag where, after Britney Spears’ “comeback” last night on the MTV Video Music Awards (where she "sang" her new "song" Gimme More), we are asking some questions of our own, including, “What the hell was that?” and, “No, seriously, what the hell?” This was a performance that will only make sense if we later find out it was part of a multinational pharmaceutical company’s field test of a new talent removal drug. With the benefit of a night’s sleep I can honestly say the whole thing was very much like watching a train wreck, but with more backup dancers.
For the record, it must be said that Britney at least got the lip-synching half right, in that she remembered to bring lips. The “synching” part, alas, seemed to cause her trouble. It was better when she just stopped trying. Then she could really focus on nailing her look of complete disinterest and performing a series of dance steps that can only be compared to what Rain Man must look like when he really needs to pee.
While Britney’s pants-soilingly awful performance is certainly well worth a look – especially if watching lousy mothers exhibiting all the grace and athleticism of a wounded puma is your "thing" – what I’d really pay money to see is a recording of the celebrity audience reacting to this mesmerizing display of inelegance and back fat. In the few cutaways we got, everyone seemed to be wearing a stunned facial expression that said, “Geez, I wonder when Borat is going to be climbing out of that Britney suit.”
Onward now. As ever, these are actual question from actual readers. Queries can be submitted at [email protected].