Need to Rant

[kittycats_delight]

Sorry guys but I am so PO'ed right now I just have to vent. Hubby just went and bought me the DSLR I wanted. He spent €1500 on the Nikon D80, a Tamron AF70-300mm lens and a Sunpak PF30X flash. Ok happy happy happy. I get home and the first thing that comes out of my slimey brother in laws mouth is 'Can I have the other one.' Less than 3 months ago hubby bought me a new digital camera as an anniversary gift. I love the camera. It was €300 and my brother in law asks me to have a 3 month old anniversary gift when he can get his own. He is working and pays nothing.

I told him 'No' so he turns around and goes and asks hubby for it. I walk out of my bedroom to see him going into the hall with my 3 month old anniversary gift. Hubby said 'Yes' without asking me first and knowing how much I can't stand his brother. This guy wouldn't throw you a life line if you were drowning and hubby tells him he can have my camera. ARE YOU NUTS? I would rather give it to a stranger on the street than him. There is no way and h*ll he is getting that camera.

So now hubby is upset cause I am PO'ed about the 'anniversary gift' camera and not excited about the D80 and I am mad cause he didn't ask me first before telling him yes especially considering my feeling for the stronzo BIL.

I mean am I being selfish? It is my camera afterall and my anniversary gift. I think I should decided if I get to keep it or give it to someone else. I have no intention of giving it to anyone cause I love it. It is more compact that the D80 and it takes great pictures. I am so PO'ed right now I am shaking and ready to cry and hubby doesn't understand it. Am I wrong?

Sorry for going off I just needed to let it out before I end up decapitating my BIL.

Thanks for your patience
Michelle

[Husky_mom]

I mean am I being selfish? It is my camera afterall and my anniversary gift. I think I should decided if I get to keep it or give it to someone else. I have no intention of giving it to anyone cause I love it. It is more compact that the D80 and it takes great pictures

not at all...... you can have it a a secondary or backup camera..... I want to get a new one too, and I´m not getting rid of my older one, I mean it does the job and can be useful from time to time, but I soo need/want a decent better one.....

it´s 100% your call...... it´s your gift for whatever reason, so it´s up to you what you do about it..... and being an anniversary gift I think it has a more sentimental value men can´t seem to understand...


just needed to let it out before I end up decapitating my BIL.

if you need another pair of hands, I offer mine......I totally understand you 100%.......

[Sevaede]

I don't believe you are being selfish. It is still your camera regardless of whether or not you got a new one. What do they think you would do if this current camera broke?

[Glacier]

Not selfish at all. I'd say your BIL is the selfish one!

You will find the D80, especially with a 70-300 lens on it, is hard to carry some places and there are places you just won't want to take it. It's a big, heavy camera, it's expensive and you won't want to risk damaging it. I love my d80. It takes a fabulous picture, but I bought a D40 as a back-up camera. Taking the D80 on the dogsled or kayak is not going to happen! Stuart has my Olympus Stylus now and I sometimes miss that little camera!

[cyber-sibes]

so... your BIL does not have the camera, right? (I couldn't tell if he ended up walking off with it or not)

It's yours, hubby has no right to give it away, even to his brother. He gave it to YOU.
I think it makes a lot of sense to have more than one camera. They each have their advantages & disadvantages. The more the merrier! :D (we've got at least three that get used regularly)

EDIT - I know how it feels - my ex-husband gave away all the really lovely things my mom gave to my kids when they were small to several "friends" of his - and of course, never got them back. (Beautifully made things, including a carved wooden high chair, rocking horses, a big metal ride 'em fire truck, and several Disney tapes, & more). I was so upset as my mother had passed away & all these gifts had special memories - I intended to keep several of them for the day I had grandchildren. Never saw them again. I'm still p-o'd about it, and it's been twenty years!

[moosmom]

I'd be PO'd too. It was not hubby's place to give it to his brother. It was YOUR anniversary gift. No means no. His brother was also in the wrong asking hubby for it after you said no. I hope you get it back.

[Catlady711]

I have 4 cameras right now, never got rid of my others when I get new ones. My hubby knows never ever to give away any of my cameras without asking first. However with other things my hubby frequently does stuff like that.

I think as far as hubby's are concerned (no offence to any hubby's on PT) is that if they want something new and get it, they don't have any reason to keep the old one so they don't think that anyone else would mind either.

I think something like this should be discussed, calmly, with your hubby and if your BIL already has the camera I'd make your hubby be the one to go pick it up from him and have to explain his mistake to him. JMHO

[Logan]

I think I'd be upset, too. Well, in reality, I'd be furious! It was yours to give or keep and the decision should be yours.

[Laura's Babies]

I'd be FUMING!!!!! Did you tell your hubby that he had already asked you and you said "NO!" ?.... I'd take the camera back and let him know "I already told you NO and this is not his camera to give ANYBODY!!". That is sleezy going behind your back and asking after you already told him no!

Then hubby and I would have a talk about what BIL did after you told him NO... I would inform him in no uncertain terms that any gift given is MINE and not his to give anybody no matter WHO it is and if asked he should refer all beggers wanting YOUR property, to ask YOU!

I would get that camera back and hubby would have to go get it from his sleezy brother! Ooooooooo! That would have me so HOT!

[Daisy and Delilah]

Bottom line: It's your camera and you should be the person that decides what should happen to it. No one else owns it but you, Michelle.

I would be pretty upset myself if I were in your shoes. :mad:

[lizbud]

I agree with everyone else. It was YOUR gift & hubby had no right giving
it away. I'd be upset too.

[Sonia59]

Not selfish at all, it was your camera! when I read the story, I felt exactly the same as you! :mad:

[CathyBogart]

Your camera your call.

I have two cameras. The better quality one eats batteries like crazy so I take the older one on longer trips. Nobody says you can only have one camera.

[Taz_Zoee]

Laura said what I was thinking. Not only did hubby give away your camera, but BIL went behind your back because you said no. That is NOT ok.
Does hubby know he already asked you and you said no??

[jennielynn1970]

OMG... he gave his brother the anniversary gift he had given to you?!

Not selfish on your part.

Inconsiderate on your husband's part.

Manipulative on your brother in law's part (you said no, so he goes and asks your husband... sounds like a kid going between mom and dad).

[critter crazy]

I would be PO'd as well!! you are definitely not being selfish!! I wouldnt give my camera to my worthless BIL either!!

[I_luv_rusty]

You aren't being selfish at all. That was rude of him to go ask your husband after you said no, because he probably had known he'd say yes.


I think two cameras is great, since you may want to take a littler one certain places when you don't want to carry a big one. I actual have 3 digital cameras, my brothers,mine, and my old one which is actually being fixed since it broke but I want it as a spare. :p

[kittycats_delight]

Thanks you guys. Just to clear some things up he did not take the camera. I took it back from him. Also, hubby feels like he owes his brother for helping him when he was going through the deepest part of his depression. It is kinda like a hold he has on him. Hubby didn't think I would be upset because he had just gotten me the D80. My biggest issue with the whole thing was the fact he did not ask me and that BIL went behind my back after I said no. Last I checked I did not have a child that ran between mommy and daddy when one said no to get the other to say yes. I can understand my hubbys feelings about his brother because he probably wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him but dam it all his brother is 33 years old and can get his own camera and not have the 'guts' to ask for my anniversary gift.

I am much calmer now and I told hubby under no circumstances is his brother getting my camera. Period.

Thanks for all you support.

((((HUGS))))
Michelle

[moosmom]

Michelle,

Good for you for speaking up. Your BIL knew what he was doing so don't feel bad. And as far as BIL playing on your hubby's emotions, shame on him.

I'm glad you got your camera back. Let him buy his own.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Michelle, I would've been very angry too:mad: and I'm so glad that you now have the camera.:) I gave my old camera to my parents but I wanted to do this since they didn't have a digital camera.

[crow_noir]

Sorry i didn't get in here before to comment.

Everyone pretty much covered all the bases though.

I'm so happy you got your camera back.

Maybe it is time to sit hubby down and have a nice chat with him about why you got so upset. Maybe you can prevent him from doing anything like this again.

*hugs*

[kittycats_delight]

Sorry i didn't get in here before to comment.

Everyone pretty much covered all the bases though.

I'm so happy you got your camera back.

Maybe it is time to sit hubby down and have a nice chat with him about why you got so upset. Maybe you can prevent him from doing anything like this again.

*hugs*


I did that very thing a few hours after when I calmed down slightly. He still doesn't get it. I don't know if it is the cultural difference or what. But he knows better than to do anything like that again. He said even if he doesn't understand it he will ask first. And if I say no then no it will be.

[mina'smomma]

Well at least he is admitting to not completely understanding it, but it was a sleazy thing for your bil to do. I'm glad I lucked out with my in-laws. They wouldn't be that selfish. He might not understand how much the one for your anniversary means to you because it was from him. Plus what if the new one breaks down???? You always need a back up camera and what could be better than having the one hubby gave you on such a special day. I'm sure if he thinks about it this way he'll understand. And as far as feeling that he OWES his brother for being there through the depression I hope that wasn't something his brother put in his mind. Family is suppose to be there through thick and thin.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Maybe you should point out to hubby in words of one syllable why you got so upset....

I don't think you were being selfish at all. Two cameras must mean twice as many piccies to post ;)

[kitten645]

I don't understand what's NOT to understand. IT WAS NOT HIS TO GIVE. period. The fact that it was your evil BIL AND that he tried to do it behind your back only adds insult to injury. Even if you never use it, use it as a paperweight, hang it from the ceiling and use it as a pinata...that's your call. :rolleyes: Enjoy your new camera and use it often in front of that nasty BIL to make him green :p