GAY Weddings

[Romance]

I know this is prolly a touchy subject but I'm posting it anyhows.
I have been invited to a man/man wedding of a gay couple I know. Me personally don't have any problems with it, however the happy couple has been harassed by many in my town. I'm worried if i go, that my family will also be targeted. what do you think i should do? :confused:

[sirrahved]

Choose by the way YOU feel, not by the way you think others might react. If you want to go and support the couple, then do it.

[animal_rescue]

My advice: if your good friends with them and want to go, then just go.

[binka_nugget]

If you wanna go, you should go! They've probably suffered enough prejudice, they'd appreciate all the support they can get :)

[Karen]

I have never heard of anyone's family being targeted just because they attended a gay wedding. If you love and respect the people getting married, I'd go. I highly doubt the local conservatives will be staking out the wedding and taking down names and contact information for everyone who enters the building, unless you live in a far scarier time and place than I do. Granted, I do live in Massachusetts, where gay weddings are legal ... Are they legal in your province? I don't know the Canadian law in this matter.

[mike001]

I was just closing before hitting the sack when I saw your post.
I don't know how well you know this couple, but if you enjoy their company and are good friends, then I would attend the wedding . Not attending might make it seem like you're prejudiced like the others. Would your hubby be attending with you?
If it was me I would do what I felt like doing if hubby is ok with it.
Some people will probably harass you over it, but then, there's always biggots waiting to jump on the soapbox.
I wouldn't have a problem with it myself, they deserve happiness as much as anyone else.
Take a break and enjoy yourself, you deserve it....no drinking though....lol.

[mike001]

Karen, they are legal in Canada also, but you would be surprised at how some people can turn against you if you befriend gays. There are some very narrow minded people out there. If Romance had really young kids some people would let their own kids harass her kids. Maybe it's been legal in the states longer than in Canada, not sure.

[Romance]

My hubby will take me anywhere i want to go (he's a sweety) whether or not he agrees, if i want to go he will take me (yes i'm spoiled) and if hubby is busy his brother takes me. I'm never at a loss for a date lol.
Small minded people bother me.

[Laura's Babies]

If they are your friends and you want to go, don't worry about what other people think and GO!

[Catty1]

Hopefully they have invited a few straight friends - if the straights show up and support them, that sends a really strong message.

People that harrass gays suddenly can become wimps if others "like them" support something they don't. Know what I mean?

Go and have fun! :)

[DrKym]

Go and be glad that with the times love is scarce so celebrate all of it!

[CathyBogart]

I would go to be supportive of my friends. :)

[columbine]

I know this is prolly a touchy subject but I'm posting it anyhows.
I have been invited to a man/man wedding of a gay couple I know. Me personally don't have any problems with it, however the happy couple has been harassed by many in my town. I'm worried if i go, that my family will also be targeted. what do you think i should do? :confused:Hard to say without a clearer idea of what kind of harassment the couple's been subjected to. Graffiti, anonymous calls to their employers, insults shouted out of car windows - I wouldn't worry. Tire slashing, bricks through windows, or arson would make me nervous.

But don't assume that the sort of cowards who'd break laws targeting the actual couple would be willing to vent their fear anywhere near as violently at someone who just went to their wedding. Remember that you're dealing with spineless people who'd probably be content to just start rumors about you. And as Oscar Wilde said, the only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about!

Love, Columbine

[Twisterdog]

I would definately go. Ignorance and prejudice is not eliminated in global ways, it is eliminated one small act at a time. One person doing one small thing, changing one mind.

[cloverfdx]

I would be there in a heartbeat ;). If you want to go then go, i am sure your friends would be grateful of the support :).

[kimboe]

Just go if you really want to! It'll be fun :)

[Alysser]

I agree with the others. Honestly, I have never in my life met any nicer people then gay men. My sister is in a dance program at school and almost half the boys are gay(or metro maybe), and they are all so nice to me except one very annoying one who bothers me. My brother lives in Washington D.C. in a gay neighborhood, he is NOT gay, but he moved there because it was nice, low crime area, and it was close to his job, and he made friends with alot of gay men. When we go down there we meet some of them, and they are all really nice.

My point, they don't deserve the crap they are getting from other people. Show them your support and just go if you want to.

[critter crazy]

I myself would go, no matter what other people thought. If these guys are good friends, then other peoples opinions/views dont matter.:)

[sasvermont]

I would go. No doubt about it. It may not be comfortable for you, but go anyway.

Have a good time. Life can be short. Play like it is! Enjoy the day and your friends. :)

[pitc9]

I stood up for my sister at her ceremony when she "married" her partner. (Gay marriage is not legal in Ohio) And I was invited to my cousin’s marriage to his partner this past summer in NJ, but I could not attend but would have been there in a heartbeat if time allowed.

It's all about supporting those that you love.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

If you want to go, go.

Don't let the ignorant prejudice of others ruin an important day for your friends.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I agree with what Karen said and many others.

If these guys are your friends, by all means, go to the wedding and join in the celebration.

I feel sorry for anyone that would feel that it's necessary to target someone in attendance. This prejudice needs to stop in this world.

I think it's great that these fellas love each other so much, they decided to get married and invite all their friends. Enjoy!! :)

[king2005]

I helped organize & set up a gay wedding for Dec 2ed 2006. I went & there were no issues, except most of the guests didn't show up & the ones that did, left right after dinner. Very few of them wanted to be there. It was all us young adults that stayed & partied.

Now these gay men are NOT nice... I know many nice ones, but I wanted to point out that gay men are still human & can still be horrible people.

But in general, they tend to be far more pleasent.

[moosmom]

You got some great advice here. Go, have a wonderful time and wish the couple a long, happy life.

[Romance]

Thank You :D

[mina'smomma]

Yes there are narrowminded people who can't evolve past what they think should be. I would go if I were you just to show your support for your friend and they life partner. If they want to be idiots let them. You're obviously above that.

[mike001]

Well Romance you sure do have your answer.
CATTY----I'm rolling around laughing here, of course they invited some "straight "people----they invited Romance and she's married and straight....lol. That was cute, I'm real tired today, so it doesn't take much to make me giggle.

Heck not worse than what I was just reading a few days ago----don't know where exactly but a Mormon guy was arrested for having a bunch of wives.
That really surprised me because I thought they all had lots of wives, didn't know they made it illegal. Of course I don't follow that junk too closely, just that this was in a newspaper that was left in a restaurant I went to.

Go and enjoy yourself you spoiled brat Romance.

[cyber-sibes]

I consider it an honor to be invited to a freind's wedding. If they invited you, they want you there. In this world there will always be people who don't like who you are, what you do, or how you live your life. They probably weren't on the guest list, so why worry? ;) Enjoy!

[Catty1]

Mike - what I MEANT was (and it wasn't entirely clear):

The straight people that harrass gays - if these harrassers see straight people going to and enjoying a gay wedding, they will feel less certain of their actions and 'wimp out'. Make sense?

As in - not all straight people hate gay people, and that fact will surprise the harrassers....

[mike001]

Oops, I guess I did misunderstand what you meant, sorry about that. It's just that we see so much prejudice here. But I thought you didn't realize that Romance was straight, I kind of got the giigles from that. Of course you are right about attending and standing up for your friends and what your feelings are.

[Romance]

Yes, I'm straight. Just because someone's lifestyle choice is not my choice I don't feel that I have the right to say who a person can fall in love with. it's not my place. Both these men have been my friends for years. The 2 main groups that are harassing them are mormons and baptists. NO i'm not bashing those groups just stating fact.
....small minds ughh

[cassiesmom]

I have a friend who has been with his partner almost 20 years. We used to laugh over the observation that their partnership has lasted longer than some marriages of some of our mutual friends. We still say that, but we don't laugh as much about it any more; it's hard to see any friend's marriage or relationship fail. These two are in it for the long term, though.

[Catty1]

Romance - have those two religions denounced them publicly, or is it a few members of the congregations that have decided to harrass them?

There are fanatics in every religion, and I am just wondering if these idiots you refer to are not representative of the whole bunch - and whether some of their peers might be quite embarrassed at the prejudice being shown.

[Romance]

The Baptists seem to think they can pray them better or some such silliness, but the Mormons have been the worst. I'm not sure what their congregational population is but there are a whole bunch of them that are very very nasty. also very vocal hurling insults out loud in public.
I'm going to the wedding, and have decided that I'm no longer going to pretend i don't hear the hurtful words thrown at my friends, I'm going to take a stand...a loud one if necessary.

[IRescue452]

I wouldn't miss it for the world. They need all the support they can get.

[lvpets2002]

:) Thank you & I agree with you sirrahved..
Choose by the way YOU feel, not by the way you think others might react. If you want to go and support the couple, then do it.

[kimlovescats]

Karen, couldn't this be moved to the Dog House? Seems appropriate for that area to me! ;)

[mike001]

Good for you Romance. We have so many gay couples in the town next to us, they go about their business and don't bother anyone, something I can't say for a lot of other people that consider themselves better than them. Who cares, they are human beings same as us.
Didn't you say you were from around T.O or somewhere nearby? You must remember the poor teenager who was tied to the fence post of an old abandoned farm somewhere in that area, can't remember the place, but it was winter and a bunch of other teens who had been harassing him tied him and beat him up, middle of winter, he was found dead....Those kids got a slap on the wrist, had the parents taught them as youngsters about equality this would have been prevented.
As for Mormons , I have friends who live near a Mormon community, they are holier than thou through and through. Catty, no, it's not just a small number. These people think that they will someday become gods themselves, they preach that God used to be a man from another planet, God is married to his goddess and has spirit children, there are 3 levels of heaven-telestial, terrestial,and celestial---my girlfriend told me a lot more but this goes to show how narrow minded a whole village can be. All these things can be found in any Mormon bible .
Their beliefs are their own and I don't hold their teachings against them or anyone, but to purposely be cruel to gays is another matter.
I learned that everything God created has beauty--didn't God create gays, or humans, no matter what lifestyle they choose?

[joycenalex]

kim, why are you asking for this thread to be moved to the dog house? i'm asking b/c i'd like to understand your point of view

[Romance]

I thought the dog house was for jokes? I certainly do NOT think prejudice of any kind is a joke. Kim? why do you think this is a humorous thread?

[Catty1]

If you read the sticky at the top of Dog House, you will see it was created for topics that may be controversial.

There was a member that posted a LOT of jokes there, as separate threads, and when THAT was discussed, well, it DID belong in the Dog House! :D

Just my opinion - the question that Romance asked certainly belongs in General. There have followed some discussions of a couple of different religions, etc.

If it gets testy and heated, I think it pretty much will make it to DH. But Kim, you might want to PM Karen directly. This thread is a bit long now, and a PM may get the question to her more quickly.

Just a thought. :)

[Karen]

I thought the dog house was for jokes? I certainly do NOT think prejudice of any kind is a joke. Kim? why do you think this is a humorous thread?

No, the Dog Hous is not for jokes, it is for anything that might be controversial, which includes politics. Jokes were only put in the Dog House if they were even a little bit offensive, or had to do with politics. As Gay Marriage is a controversial subject, I will move this into The Dog House.

[kimlovescats]

I don't wish to comment on the subject, I just feel it is controversial and does belong in the Dog House. When you open up things that are controversial, and then it goes even further into religious views / preferences, it gets more intense and potentially hurtful! It's easy to avoid the Dog House if you find discussing "issues" to be upsetting! ;)

Thank you, Karen!
Kim

[caseysmom]

Guess I differ, I don't even think its controversial, well the controversial part is the closed minded folks that think its controversial.

[jackie]

Guess I differ, I don't even think its controversial, well the controversial part is the closed minded folks that think its controversial.

Well obviously it is somewhat controversial if the original poster is in a dilemma to go or not.


I am glad you finally came to a decision Romance and I hope you have a great day. Lots of luck to your friends in their married life.

[kitten645]

"Guess I differ, I don't even think its controversial, well the controversial part is the closed minded folks that think its controversial."

I happen to concur with this. I think it's sad it was moved but that's my opinion..take it or leave it. I find it interesting that no one actually POSTED not to go to the wedding for whatever reason. :rolleyes:

[kimlovescats]

Yes, I'm straight. Just because someone's lifestyle choice is not my choice I don't feel that I have the right to say who a person can fall in love with. it's not my place. Both these men have been my friends for years. The 2 main groups that are harassing them are mormons and baptists. NO i'm not bashing those groups just stating fact.
....small minds ughh

Implying that Mormons and Baptists are "small minded" isn't bashing?

This is where the controversy comes into play. Blaming religious organizations in general. I am not going to post further on this, but just wanted to explain that yes, this does bring opinions / controversy to the subject and thus belongs in the Dog House.


con·tro·ver·sy (kŏn'trə-vûr'sē) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. con·tro·ver·sies

A dispute, especially a public one, between sides holding opposing views. See Synonyms at argument.

Kim

[wolf_Q]

Just FYI stereotyping everyone from a specific religion as acting a certain way is every bit as small minded as being against gay marriage.

To answer the original post, if they were my friends, yes I would go.

[mike001]

No one was bashing any religion. Some of us gave examples of how SOME of these people act...we din't include the whole religion. I was stating that the teen who got beaten up and died was an act carried out by Mormons, it was widespread news on the radio, tv and newspapers.
I don't give a hoot what religion people choose as long as they act in a Christian manner.
Killing someone over his lifestyle is not Christian in my book.

I'VE BEEN BOO''D :cool:

[lizbud]

I went to a gay wedding once. It was between a good woman friend
of mine & another lady.My friend & I have been good friends for 20+ years
and I was happy for her. They held the ceremony outside at a beautiful
state park. It was a lovely ceremony. :)

[kimlovescats]

Just FYI stereotyping everyone from a specific religion as acting a certain way is every bit as small minded as being against gay marriage.

To answer the original post, if they were my friends, yes I would go.

Who are you addressing here? I was quoting what Romance said .... basically saying the same as you but I sense your comment was directed at me? I am confused.

EDIT: I re-read my post and assume you took the following of my statements incorrectly.

[QUOTE=kimlovescats]Implying that Mormons and Baptists are "small minded" isn't bashing?

I was ASKING a question .... not making a statement. In otherwords, I guess to make it more understandable, I could have said ... "So YOU are saying that Mormons and Baptists are "small minded". Is that clear now?

Kim

[mike001]

I was answering the post in a general way. And if I know Romance she meant it the same way that I explained it, she wouldn't bash a whole community, but she would say what's on her mind about a certain group of people. There are narrow minded people everywhere but not all of them express their views as openly as some do. Killing a young lad in my opinion goes beyond small minded.


I'VE BEEN BOO'D :cool:

[wolf_Q]

No Kim my post was not directed toward you at all, it was other posts in the thread. I just happened to post after you. Sorry for the confusion.

[kimlovescats]

Mike ... I totally agree .... killing anyone is certainly not right and whether or not we have common beliefs, spiritual convictions or otherwise, it is not our place to judge others. We can refrain from participating in certain activities against our beliefs and choose how we feel and even how we react, but in the end, WE are not the final judge! In my opinion, of course! ;)

Wolf Q .... that's fine! I appreciate your clarifying it for me!

Kim

[Romance]

and to clarify my post... the majority of people harassing this gay couple are baptists and Mormons. i don't know if its the congregation as i don't know their populace but what i can say is its a whole heck of a lot of them. The Mormon "missionaries" show up on their door stop every couple of days. they have been spit on, had insults hurled at them, their house spray painted, cars damaged, small children point and giggle, adult men physically push them around in the mall and then apologize like it was an accident....and the list goes on.

[columbine]

*sigh* Do they want to move to Boston? The apartment upstairs of me opens up December 1... Here, even if they didn't call the cops on the harassers, the neighbors would. We don't hold with that stuff here. And harassment, assault, and vandalism are just as illegal here as anywhere else.

Love, Columbine