new update #36: Finally doing better!

[Kirsten]

First of all, I have to apologize for staying away for so long. I'm not doing well, I'm depressive and frustrated.

The abdominal pain I mentioned in my last update is still the same, feels like a burning wound, even my skin is burning and I can hardly touch it in that area. The pain is getting worse when I'm resting, when I'm walking around, it's better, but I'm supposed to rest a lot.

Because of the pain, I saw the doctors in hospital last Tuesday; they did an ultrasound and said everything looks fine, and also the blood test results were negative.

Went to see my gyno on Thursday, and she also checked that area carefully and couldn't find a cause for the pain. She said that maybe they burned the peritoneum when they tried to remove the endometriosis.

Then she said another thing that shocked me: She said that the diagnosis "borderline tumor" is nothing to be happy about, it's a serious condition and I need to be monitored closely from now on, as these tumors may come back. Borderline tumors are defined as "tumors with a low malignant potencial", so they have to be taken very seriously, and I think that is scary. She said I was very close to having an ovarian carcinoma.

With the gyno of the hospital, she discussed the option of removing my second ovary, and my uterus as well. She said that option was also discussed with me at the hospital, but it's just not true!! I even mentioned that I wouldn't mind to have my uterus removed, and the doctor I talked to replied they wouldn't do it. Now they say because of the risk of a relapse, and two myomas they found on my uterus, all this in combination with the endometriosis with is very painful and also give you a higher risk for ovarian cancer, the uterus and the second ovary should be removed as well.

I'm very upset that they haven't done it all at once, I just hate the thought of going through this ordeal again, especially as my entire abdomen is sore right now!! I also fear for my job! Even now, they call me and ask me to come back, but my gyno says there's no way for me to go back there within the next two weeks. She said the surgery was much bigger than expected, and I need more time. Besides, with that pain I still have, I just couldn't go back. But I'm very worried about the consequences!

Regarding the abdominal pain, I start worrying that a nerve may have been damaged, and I wonder if I should better see a neurologist. I will ask my doctor and my gyno about this, I will see them tomorrow.

I'll keep you updated.

Kirsten


(Just in case you wonder what I'm talking about:

I'm back home from hospital (but still very much in pain) (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=132949)

Update on Kirsten (Thursday: Good news, post # 65) (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=132725)

Will have surgery next week, I may have cancer!! (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=132502))

[catnapper]

Oh Kirsten, I am so sorry to hear about all this pain -- both the physical and emotional. I'm sending out a ton of prayer for you. and some gentle ((hugs))

[jenluckenbach]

Kirsten, this is all so unfair! :( The surgery was to make you feel BETTER!!

I am so sorry that you have to know go through all this pain. :(

Prayers and healing wishes to you, my friend.

[joycenalex]

kirsten , like you, i would want the other ovary and uterus out, and it would seem logical that the pain could be from a burn or a nerve being hurt. post op depression is an under reported and under treated condition i think. pain leads to more depression, is there some reason why your gynie won't send you more pain meds or to a pain managment doctor or meds for depression? i am sending you gentle hugs and positive thoughts

[Freedom]

Prayers for you to feel better and have less pain!

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Kirsten. I sure hope this will get better very very soon.

I hope your job will stop putting stress on you. You sure don't need that right now. You have enough to be concerned about. Can you talk to your Human Resources Dept. and see if there is some way to protect yourself? Best of luck in this.

[beeniesmom]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish for your pain to go away.
Hugs

[Taz_Zoee]

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. :( You will be in my thoughts.

[Karen]

Kirsten, you are in our prayers. Please try not to make any decisions when you are in severe pain and not thinking clearly - what if the pain has nothing to do wit the remaining ovary and your uterus? I'd recommend seeing a pain specialist at this point, to see if there's any way to let you experience less pain.

Do let us know what the doctors say tomorrow. A friend had one ovary out, but not the other, when she had a hysterectomy. I asked "Why didn't they take the other ovary" and she said "Because then my risk of breast cancer would skyrocket." So be sure to ask plenty of questions, and get second opinions before any more surgery, okay?

You will be in our prayers.

[sirrahbed]

I have to agree with Karen above. You are still recovering and I am hoping that your pain is going to get better. After my Missy's last c-section - the incision was very slow to heal and bothered her very much for many weeks. I bet you are still healing and will feel a little better each day.

Glad to see you posting!! ((((Kirsten))))

[kimlovescats]

Kirsten, I am so sorry to hear that you are still in such pain! I pray that things get better for you soon and your doctor can figure everything out that needs to be done!

Hugs,
Kim

[Felicia's Mom]

I am sorry you are still in pain. You will be in my prayers.

[sasvermont]

Kirsten, I hope your situation improves so that you may have peace for a change! You need all the rest you can get. I wonder if they have been giving you the correct pain medication. Pain management can be so tricky.

I don't know about the kind of problems you are having but do know that any health problem can set one back many steps. Time will heal you. Maybe Mom could spend some time with you? Are there visiting nurses in your country? I hope you have good neighbors and friends. Sometimes one needs to ask for assistance, as difficult it is for those of us who are independent and living alone.

You are on all our minds and in our most positive thoughts.

Hang in there dear one. Keep that chin up. Sleep is good for you, so ask your doctor for some really good drugs to get you through the tough times, like NOW!

Keep us posted Kirsten.

[cyber-sibes]

Prayers going out that you have less pain as you heal. It did take weeks before I wasn't sore after my hyst. (total abdominal), but nothing like the kind of pain you describe. I hope your doctors can help you. It's possible they hit a nerve and it's extra painful til it heals. My nurse-friend said that abdominal surgery takes a long time to heal because they have to go through so many layers of tissue. At least they were able to catch the tumors before they were malignant, and that is a blessing.

[Sirrahsim]

I had c-sections with both of my boys and I remember something similar to what you are describing with both boys. During the abdominal surgery certain small nerve fibers are bound to get severed or at least bruised. I went in several times to find out why it felt like my abdomen was burning or being stabbed and they explained it to me to the best of their ability. They basically said that there will be a lot of weird and possibly painful sensations as the nerves begin to "wake up" and heal. Unfortunately it is possible to have these sensations for quite a while post surgery but they should get less and less painful within the next few weeks. I hope that you are experiencing the same problem that I did and that it is nothing more serious :)

[Scooter's Mom]

I had a LOT of pain after my surgery in 2002. The previous ones went much smoother. The one in March 2002 though, I thought I was dying. I didn't heal very well at all. I even went back in for ultrasounds and exams each week. To this day I have a spot that starts throbbing out of nowhere. The doctors say it's either scar tissue nerve damage. I don't want any other surgeries to find out for sure, so I just deal with it since it's not THAT frequent. Hopefully your pain will lessen in time. I know it's terrible to endure while it's happening.

I am sending healing thoughts your way.

Hugs,
Crystal

[DJFyrewolf36]

I hope you start feeling better soon! Hopefully you will get the answers you need and that the doctors will be more clear with you. Nothing irritates me more than doctors that can't seem to make a decision.

*gentle hugs* from across the pond! *headbumps* from the kitties too!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kirsten, I'm sorry to hear that you're still in a lot of pain.:( I sure hope that you'll start feeling better soon. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[phesina]

Dear Kirsten, I am so sorry that this is still a problem and still causing you such pain. You have prayers and healing thoughts and energies and good wishes and lots of love coming from us.

Love, hugs (gentle), and purrs,
Pat and cats

[mike001]

Sorry about the misery Kirsten. Find a doctor who will discuss the pain with you . You seem to be having quite severe pain, doesn't sound like it's something to be neglected. Doctors can help alleviate the pain and make sure that there isn't some underlying condiion that is adding to the pain of the op. Get some help before the pain gets out of control.

[jennielynn1970]

Oh Kirsten, I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. I had to have surgery when I was 21 for precancerous growths on my uterus, and had to keep a close eye on everything since then... I was good about doctor visits until about 2-3 years ago, and haven't been back since :o . I get so nervous while there, I hyperventilate and everything. I loved my gyno, then while working part time at the Moravian Bookshop in Bethlehem, he came in with a co-worker of mine. Since then, they've married, and whenever I went back to see him, I'd be on the table and he'd be like "So, how are so and so doing at school?" and it just made me feel weird! Like, does he go home and say "Well, while I had Jenn on the table today..." I dunno... I'm just weird I guess, lol.

I can also sympathize with you feeling depressed. Depression can make such a huge difference with how you recover, and the speed with which you recover. I hope you can find something to elevate your mood (whether natural or medicinal). A lot of people don't realize how debilitating depression can be...

Big hugs going out to you for a faster recovery and more relief for your pain. I hope your work understands how important it is for you to recuperate fully and that your health and well-being is more important than rushing you to do something that may be have long term repercussions that are even worse.

[dukedogsmom]

I'm sorry I haven't checked in sooner with you. I hope things get better with you soon. I haven't read the whole thread. Will you have to have another operation? I hope you can get rid of your pain soon. I know that must be so discouraging after just having an operation. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Just take one day at a time.

[Rachel]

Just checking in to see how you are doing, Kirsten. I do hope that the worst is now over and that you can tell that you are on the way to recovery from the surgery.

[Kirsten]

Thank you very much for your comments, and for sharing your experiences with me. It helped a lot to read that others had this weird feeling, too after such a surgery.

Well, meanwhile, I'm at home for two weeks, and there is some improvement, but not as much as I hoped for. Some days are better, but the next day is always a relapse, it's very frustrating. The pain is still there, but it is more bearable now. Still not sure if I'll be able to go back to work next week; I'm not sure if I'll be able to sit on a chair for 9 hours.

Another problem now is depression. I do not know whether it comes from my hormon levels being messed up now that one ovary is missing, or from the pain and exhaustion, and boredom here at home. Also, the thought that I was so close to having cancer is traumatic as well.

Kirsten

[dukedogsmom]

I think you should call your surgeon and see if the hospital offers some kind of counseling for people that have been in your situation. There's bound to be something like that there. Also, don't overdo on the days you're feeling better. That's how you get a lot worse the next day. I learned that after I had my hysterectomy. And if you don't feel like you can't return to work next week, don't rush yourself. You don't want to get worse, you know? I hope things get better for you soon.

[pitc9]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this... I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

gentle {{hugs}} to you and wishing you a speedy recovery!

[Catlady711]

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with the depression and pain. I hope your doctors are able to figure out the problem and give you some medication that will relive both symptoms.

I only know one person that has had endometriosis (sp?) but she had a full hystorectomy (sp?) and did not have as many problems with her surgery as I recall. I do however have an aunt that has had multiple surgeries, although not for this particular problem, and she has experienced a similar type of pain though, but in her case it was adheasions (sp?) casing it. I dunno if that would be the case with you though, but might be worth asking your doctor about.

I really hope this trial in your life is over soon and you get the blessed relief from the pain and depression so you can go back to posting those beautiful pictures and being happy again.

[Laura's Babies]

Oh Kristen, I hate hearing you have had to go through this. I am so sorry you are in so much pain and hope that heals fast so the pain will go away.

Thank you for the links to the previous posts since I have been away and didn't know what was going on. That was very thoughful of you to do in the pain you are in.

Pain will make you depressed and I really think doctors can't see or touch it so they don't understand it or how bad it can be. We are pulling for you here and I know you are getting plenty of purrrr therapy. Hang in there, prayers are on their way!

[Catty1]

Kirsten - please register at Hystersisters.com - there are SO many women there going through every form of this situation there - and you will also get very useful feedback there.

Please don't worry about perhaps needing meds for a while...it is like a cast on your leg when it is broken - you need it for support while healing occurs.

ALL women, sooner or later, lose their hormone supply - some can have hormone therapy, some can't.

Check with your doctor - and please check out the resources on the hyster site. The women there are wonderful and very supportive! :)

PTrs are really supportive too - it's just that at the hyster site, everyone is there because of gynecological surgery of some kind or another.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[Barbara]

After a shock like this depression is normal. But I think you should seea doctor who can do something about it- to get all that mess of feelings sorted.
All the best for you. Hope Lily and Luna are good nurses and do not add to your problems.

[gini]

Kirsten, you are getting good advice and support from everyone, so all I can add is that I sincerely hope you are better each day.

After all that you have been through, I would think that depression would be normal.

A big hug and some prayers for you.

[Randi]

Kirsten, I'm sorry you're still in pain and feeling down, hope you can take an extra week off work. Lots of cuddles with Luna and Lily would do you good!

My best wishes for a speedy recovery! :)

(((hugs)))

[Catty1]

Kirsten - you may not have the energy, but you do have the time...why not do a little internet job hunting while you are home?

You never know... :)

[jazzcat]

Kirsten, sorry to hear things aren't improving more quickly for you. I do agree with the others that if the depression lingers you should speak with your doctor.

I have read that sometimes the remaining ovary can go into shock from this type of surgery and it may takes several weeks to "wake up" and start working correctly. I had both of mine removed last Sept. and I do know that having your hormones suddenly gone or drastically reduced can cause all kinds of problems both physically and mentally. I've been through an emotional rollercoaster this past year.

Sending prayers and positive thoughts.

[4 Dog Mother]

Kirsten, I hope you are feeling better. Being in pain for long periods is no fun. And depression is natural side effect of that. Do take it easy because as Valerie said if you are feeling better and over do, the next day, you will most likely pay for it - at least that has been my experience. Prayers are going out for you.

[Kirsten]

Do take it easy because as Valerie said if you are feeling better and over do, the next day, you will most likely pay for it - at least that has been my experience.

Yes, that it true! I think I really did too much!

Well, during the last two days, the pain was getting much better. And I feel less depressive when the pain is more bearable! I will go back to work next week, and I hope I'll be able to sit on a chair for 9 hours! I also need to try to get my strength back; I'm very exhausted and tired atm. Guess that's normal after such a surgery. :confused:

Again, thank you very much for your support and advice, it really helps a lot! :)

Kirsten

[pitc9]

Gentle {{hugs}}
Glad you're starting to feel better!

[lizbud]

Kirsten, So happy that you are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.It's hard to see your friends in pain when only time & rest will help
them start to feel human again. This is great news. :)

[Catty1]

Glad you are healing and feeling better.

Do you have your doc's OK to go back to work? Just so you are covered if you have to take time off again.

HUGS!

[Logan]

Best of luck to you, Kirsten. I'm so glad you are feeling better! :)

[Felicia's Mom]

I am glad things are improving for you, Kirsten.:)

[lvpets2002]

:) So glad your felling better.. I just know you have the best nurses.. Luna & Lily..

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b335/lvpets2002/care00023.jpg

[phesina]

Good to hear you are starting to feel better, Kirsten!

Now be sure and do everything your nurses want you to do, and you will heal up just fine.

[Taz_Zoee]

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. Do you think you should try to go back to work slowly....not for a full day? I guess you could just see how you feel as the day goes on. Please don't over do it.
:)