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View Full Version : This is just my opinion



gini
07-31-2007, 01:04 AM
I have harbored this thought for a long time on Pet Talk. And I will repeat, this is just my own opinion.

When our pets are in trouble - need surgery or care that becomes so very expensive and we offer our help financially - I think it is wonderful. I have donated to many causes here and for the most part have felt that my donation helped in the good care of the pet.

However..............yes................the however appears...........I do resent it that people are asking for handouts - for themselves - for whatever reason.

There are so many people here that have hearts of gold and want to help when someone is in trouble. But in a lot of cases, we have never met these people, been in their homes - seen firsthand their circumstances. We are just going by the written word.

I know that people here have been taken advantage of - have paid for things to help people - but did they really help them? Not if they are right back at it a few months later with yet another "emergency".

This is PET Talk - all of our pets are what brought us together. This isn't the Salvation Army - or any other charity and I would hope we could have enough respect for each other that we didn't try to bamboozle some cash out of each other.

Again - it's just my opinion. What are your thoughts on the matter.

Barbara
07-31-2007, 03:35 AM
Gini, I am glad you wrote this.
I love being part of this board and have found pet friends here who are just as close as people I met in real life.
So my attitude to giving money is the same as in real life: I feel free to choose for what I can give money. And regarding the fact that we all have a limited budget this means that I cannot give for all purposes.
There are some charities I use to donate for. Some issues are closer to me than others (a very personal thing). I know that I cannot help all pets. I would like to put my money where I feel it really helps. All personal decisions that can be taken differently by any other member here.
As long as these decisions are accepted I am happy with any requests.

Cataholic
07-31-2007, 09:43 AM
I have given money to nearly every "effort" on here, save for two. I have felt very good being able to help those particular people/situations, and have had no regrets. Since I am about as cynical and suspect as they come (do I have to tell you all that? :D ), the two situations that I avoided were good calls from my perspective. I can't even recall one of the two situations that I didn't give money to, just that it didn't turn out to be necessary.

I think anyone that asks for money on their own behalf is seriously wounded inside. I see some people on here get so entangled in the affairs of others that I feel their judgment is seriously clouded. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. Sadly, some people do allow it to happen, for some odd reason.

shais_mom
07-31-2007, 10:13 AM
very well stated "mom". ;) :)
I know you've said it to me before so I'll repeat it -
I don't like it when people "spend" my money or my "time". (ex: if I say I can't go somewhere b/c I have another obligation like work or a family thing - it isn't b/c I Do NOT want to be there- but keep it up and that just might be what happens- this is both Pet Talk and NON Pet Talk related ;))
If I choose to give either to you than that is my doing - or in cases where it wasn't warranted - my fault I got suckered.
My time and my money are my own to spend freely as I wish. I have given my money to a few people on this board and I have NOT given my money to more people on this board. I do not regret giving and I do not regret NOT giving.

Catty1
07-31-2007, 12:29 PM
The one instance I think might be referred to here - in the one case where donations were made, efforts were made to make sure the money went directly to the vet, not the person.

So at least there is that.

In Kirsten's case, she is a responsible adult, so I have no qualms in her getting it directly (I don't think Lily or Luna have account access! :D )

shais_mom
07-31-2007, 12:48 PM
The one instance I think might be referred to here - in the one case where donations were made, efforts were made to make sure the money went directly to the vet, not the person.


that has happened more than once - funds given to the vet clinic instead of the person - has nothing to do with age of the person.
just an fyi

wombat2u2004
07-31-2007, 12:54 PM
I do resent it that people are asking for handouts - for themselves - for whatever reason. This isn't the Salvation Army - or any other charity and I would hope we could have enough respect for each other that we didn't try to bamboozle some cash out of each other.

That's a fair enough opinion Gini, we all have our own opinions on this matter.
As for the Salvation Army..........well I would hope that PTers are a little more heartfelt than that outfit.
As Catty1 has pointed out, I believe a responsible approach toward those people who are in need is the go.....such as direct payment to the vet etc etc. I believe that would pretty well dispel the "bamboozle" word from their thoughts.
That's my thoughts on the matter. I don't mind helping out when I feel that it's necessary.
Wom

Ginger's Mom
07-31-2007, 01:07 PM
.What are your thoughts on the matter.
I think you just have to apply the same standards here as you do anywhere else. Just as you wouldn't give to every agency that sends you a notepad or calendar you don't donate to everyone who has learned how to use the internet. You check the person/agency's past behavior and records, you weigh the emergent nature of the request, and you look for other options to correct the situation. If everything you learn suggests to you that your money would be well spent to assist the person/animal/agency in need then that is what you do. If through your research you find that the "emergency" or the "situation" is not totally the way it is being portrayed, then you may want to suggest other options. Just be aware that those who are looking for the "easy" way out may have some unpleasant responses to your alternative suggestions.

columbine
07-31-2007, 01:28 PM
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for money when you're in need - but it can be a real detective game to find the right place to look! There are kajillions of resources, most of them local, to help out people in various situations. Some of them are governmental, but most are private concerns - civic, religious, or community organizations - funded by individuals or networks in a far better position to help out folks who are in a bad situation than most of the people here. I don't figure there are many people on PT who are in a position to play the philanthropist - demographically, we seem to be mostly working people, many with LARGE families. I think that when someone gets hammered by circumstance, the smartest thing to do is to start seeking advice geographically nearby - a religious leader, city hall, even the hospital or the police department can sometimes point you in the right direction.

Love, Columbine

ramanth
07-31-2007, 07:27 PM
Good post.

As being the recipient of donations in both Kia and Chipper's case, I can say that I would never of been able to ask. I had a hard enough time saying yes when the money was offered. The gratitude I feel towards many on this forum is overwhelming.

Those that donated could of sent directly to the hospital, but some sent it right to me. And right to the bill it went. The thought never crossed my mind to use it.

Frankly, we're still paying off Chipper's bill. *laughs*

And when it comes to giving, I don't think twice if I feel the cause is just, because I have been in that situation.

carole
07-31-2007, 10:10 PM
I love how people help out on PT, i myself have been on the receiving end,it was not for my animals,but to spay two kitties in my neighbourhood,(and no i did not ask for the help but it was so much appreciated) who were breeding nonstop with an owner who neglected them, Most of you know those kitties were eventually abandoned by her and rescued by me and are now my Nikki and Ellie.

I have never forgotten this wonderful persons kind deed and she will always have a special place in my heart.

We all make our own decisions ,about this subject, and i for one would love to donate even if only a small amount to people on PT , i have no qualms about it and if i get taken for a ride, well that sadly is life, just kinda hard with the money difference, most times it is hardly worth my while,as the amount i can give is so little.

I think if anyone does ask for help, it is mostly out of sheer desperation,and it is up to you whether to give or not. :)