Looking for advice

[slleipnir]

I'm sure I've mentioned this before to some degree but I think I'll start over from the beginning.

My sister.should.not.own.pets. Period. I'm honestly sick to death of it. A few years back she had a kitten. She was the sweetest thing anyone could want. She couldn't afford to have her fixed so she locked it in the basement whenever it was in heat cause it was "annoying". Then it was peeing on the floor so she got rid of it. Later saying oh it was probably Eric (her young son who was a baby at the time) Then she got a puppy saying she was only babysitting it (it was gone within a week...) we found out later they just decided they didnt want it anymore. Then she got a JRT. I TOLD her, NO. That breed is VERY high energy and NOT fit for their family. I told her an older dog would be perfect...doesn't listen. Anyway the dog became really aggressive and they had to give it away. I'd assume because he wasn't getting hardly any exercise, and he just went crazy. When I asked her what happened with him she replied "Oh, he's dead" like she couldn't have cared less.

So now she has a black lab/border collie mix. Another hyper breed. Only this dog is VERY submissive. I'm suprised to say she's had this dog now for like 2 years or something. I thought she would have tired of it by now. She seems to like the dog...that is until she got 2 kittens. She said "the kids ignore the dog now" which means *I* ignore the dog now, not the kids. (well they probably do too) I heard from my oldest niece last night that Jade (the dog) spents most of the day locked up in a cage. She said when we went to visit the kittens Jade was only out of her cage because she knew we were coming. Now, my niece lies from time to time, but I honestly do believe what she's telling me is the truth. My dogs are hyper when I come home or when people come in, but they calm down when the person comes in and settles in. Jade does not. She runs around like crazy, showing her teeth (submissively). I asked her if she's always this way and she said no, only when we come over. My niece says they walk her sometimes, and they sometimes let her out in the evening when everyone else is in bed. She gets really angry if the dog smells the kittens cause the kittens don't like it.

Also, the dog is extremely skinny. I think they feed her the lowest grade food there is. (they can't afford better) Her kittens are sicks too and she goes on how she can't afford treatment for them. (they btw are also really skinny) I THINK she got treatment for one of the kittens. The dog seems to have fleas and she doesn't care. She gives the kittens milk everyday even though I told her it's probably not a good idea.

I'm at a loss what to do. My dad said there is nothing I can do and that I can't be worrying over it as I can't save every animal in the world. But how can I overlook this? To me it's abuse...but it's my sister....I'm almost considering reporting it to the HS but again, my sister...I'm pretty sure she'd know it was me if they took the dog away...and she'd more then likely just get a new one. It REALLY bugs me knowing the dog is being treated this way...oh and another thing we took it to play with Zeke one day that my sister wasn't home, and the dog had NO idea how to play. I had a tug rope for them to play with and Zeke was running around playing with it and she didn't know what to do. I've never seen a dog not know how to play....after like 20 minutes she got the hang of it...I don't think she's ever played with dogs before or even with toys other than a ball or something. I'm sure the dog has no chew toys (the ones I give them seem to dissapear) not to mention their crate they use for the dog...which I BOUGHT for them. I bought it because they kept a LAB in a cage big enough for a JRT!!! something is wrong there...I mean when your dog can't lay down without it's paws sticking out the front or when it cant stand up...uh, It'S TOO SMALL. And I "lent" them my carrier for my cats...which now has a nice place on their floor as a bed for the cats...yeah Ok, I want that back. I'm not rich to go by MY pets stuff AND your pets. urg. It annoys me so much. Most of my money goes towards vet bills, good food, toys, and anything I can to spoil my pets...so as much as I'd like I can't do the same for her pets.

ok I'm just ranting now. I need to vent this cause no one seems to understand why I hate it so much. What would you do??

[Freedom]

Start by volunteering at you rcity shelter, one day a week. get to know the ACO and what type of enforcement he does. Does he just have everything PTS? Learn the city ordinances he has to follow. Then in a few weeks after you ahve some background, report your sister.

I'm sorry, but it sure sounds like it needs to be done. Better you than someone else.

[Grace]

What would you do??

I would report her. If it was my sister I would have done it already. The dog is being abused, and doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I reported my neighbor a few years back. I'm sure she knew I had done it. Didn't care. The well being of the animal is more important.

[Seravieve]

I would report her. If it was my sister I would have done it already.

I thought the exact same thing.. And yes, the dog is definitely being abused already. I just worry that reporting her would cause a rift in your family and also, what would be keeping her from getting another dog if this one is then taken away or whatever?

She definitely sounds like someone who shouldn't have pets. I agree with you there. Her slaves - I mean pets - are lucky that she has someone like you willing to help them out (with crates, etc) and care about them more than their owner seems to.

[NoahsMommy]

Honey, I know she's your sister. Please don't take this the wrong way...you're the only one there to HELP these animals, but to her, you are enabling her to keep on doing what she's doing. You help, to keep these poor things alive, but in doing so, your sister sees you as a way to get her out of trouble each time she needs it and knows that you'll always be there again and again because you CARE.

You need to report her. The animals will go to a rescue or hopefully a non-kill shelter and she'll have to deal with the law - and see that her sister will no longer bail her out. She will then see that the only person that was bailing her and her animals out is the one that called her out and wont be there in the future to bring food and toys to her animals and maybe she'll stop, thus ENDING her cycle.

I know it sounds mean and heartless. But if your sister can do this to poor, defenseless animals. Creatures that need food, water, a clean, warm surface to sleep, roof above its head and a safe place to live - and she purposely will NOT provide that - there's something mean spirited about that. If she decides not to like you anymore, you aren't missing someone that does nice things.

We like and appreciate you here. And you can start using your time and $$ on animals that may go to forever homes, instead of the animals your sister continually abuses.

I hope I don't sound too harsh, I honestly don't mean to be. But I think that to stop the cycle of what she's doing - and what you try to do to correct and help - this is the ONLY solution, hun. You are so kind to help these animals she does this to, you really are.

You CAN call Anonymous too I think. That could preserve your relationship if you still wanted it...

Hugs, Kelly :)

EDIT to add:
Freedom has a good idea...volunteer at or at least call to see what happens to animals that are taken from homes when reported. Or, you could line up homes via rescues and then call in and report her, giving them names of rescues and having the reps from the rescues waiting at the facility when they pick up the animals to be CERTAIN they go to the rescue. If your sister still has KITTENS, those will go to homes very quickly. If she has kittens, that means she's having lots of litters, nice. :( :rolleyes:

[slleipnir]

I actually know the lady who manages (or whatever it's called) our shelter. We only have one on the island. I used to volunteer a lot there and got to know the staff. I'm not 100% sure but I'm pretty sure if an animal stays for a long period of time, it is PTS for it's well being..I guess...?

I honestly do not know that I can report my sister. I'm pretty sure she'd figure out it was me even if I told them not to tell. They really don't have friends that I know of...and she knows I'm the only one who is "anal" about it. which is why she lies to me.

I believe she just doesn't see it clearly. She's too wrapped up with her own life that she can't see that what she's doing is wrong...I'm not saying that makes it right. I just mean she's not neccessarily a bad person. She has problems but she's a good person and I love her. I fear it wouldn't just be me she'd stop talking to. I can see my dad some how getting sucked into it. He says he feels bad too but there isn't anything I can do. and said what are you going to report her or something?

I honestly am torn with what to do. I may wait and ask mom what she thinks. It makes me cry knowing that poor animal is treated this way. I know she would just get another dog and do the same thing to it if they took Jade away. She, for some reason, thinks she needs pets. She DOES NOT have the money for pets. I'd LOVE another dog...but I know I don't have the time, or room for one right now and it wouldn't be fair....why is it so hard to see that?

she's a sweet little dog. It's such a shame. I just wish I could some how get her to admit to it and work on it. I know she loves the dog so I don't get why she can't care for it better. I think that because she has the kittens now the dog isn't as important. That doesn't make sense to me because I got Josie first and she's still as important to me as she ever was and equally to my other pets if not more..

bleh ok ranting again. I'm so confused....My dad thinks my niece is stretching the truth (as she's her daughter....) but I just can't over look it...especially with signs I've seen with her like how hyper she is, how she doesn't know how to play, etc...

(edit)
also, if it got out that I reported her, and it was my neice who told me, my sister would take it out on my niece....I don't want that to happen...

oh and she got her kittens from a farm. They're both male and apperintly not allowed outside. She SAYS she'll have them neutered....I told her they'll spray everything in her house if she doesn't...I'm hoping she won't take that as "oh. time to make them go outside all the time. Hope they dont get hit by one of the many cars on the highway we live on..."

she also makes a point to tell me how her husband things it's cruel my cat is declawed...which, btw the reason I adopted butter at 2 years was because he was declawed already and I knew my dad make me rehome him if he had claws. funny how she sees the cruelty of declawing but not what she's doing. and also, so far she seems to take good care of the kittens. other then the milk

[crow_noir]

Fine if you aren't going to report her, give the information to someone here that you trust and we/they can report her. ...Then when she accuses you of turning her in you can say you did nothing of the sort... and you won't be lying.

[IRescue452]

Is your niece old enough to be home alone? Could she smuggle the dog out of the house and say it bolted when she opened the door? She seems to care enough to help somehow.

When I worked at a kennel, I met dogs who didn't know how to play. You could always tell which ones just plain didn't like to play and which ones didn't know what a toy was. It was always heartbreaking when they didn't know what a toy was.

[anna_66]

OK, maybe this is cruel for me to say...but there's really NOTHING you can do as long as the dog has a roof over it's head, food and water. That's it...period. I think all you'd be doing is causing a big riff between you and your sister.
I know you don't like the way she treats her animals, but there again they are her animals. Kinda like people and their kids. I don't like the way a lot of people treat their kids but there's not a thing I can do about it.

I hope one of these days you can make her realize she needs to do better by her pets. I know how aggravating it can be.
Lots of (((HUGS)))
Anna

[cyber-sibes]

Can you talk to her about this cycle of neglect you see and that you will report her if she doesn't give up this dog? (I'm sure you've dropped plenty of hints, but have you ever confronted her about it?)
As mentioned, there is really nothing you can do about stopping her from getting another, and another, and another, sad, really. :( It has to be heartbreakiing for you to watch.

[slleipnir]

Honestly, she doesn't listen to anything I say. I tell her she needs to walk the dog, give it atleast a little better quality food so it puts on a little weight, it can't be in the cage all day etc. She lies to me and tells me she does these things when it's obvious she doesn't....

[NoahsMommy]

OK, if there is no way for you to report her safely, they why don't you take care of the animals? I know it sucks, but if you feel that strongly that they aren't taken care of, then maybe you need to be the one to SHOW them HOW to do this by actually doing it - maybe for forever.

I know its a sucky option, but what are the alternatives? Let the animals just live there unprotected? Or let the niece get the blame if she's turned in??

You are in a tough spot, I completely agree with you. Bless you for caring and wanting to DO something about it.

Although - allowing something to go on that isn't right is the SAME as doing it yourself. There comes a time when you have to decided between being "friends" with someone and doing whats right.

I wish you lots of luck in your decision on what to do, I appreciate that it IS a very hard one when family is involved. (((hugs)))

[nancyweNW]

If is was a child in the same situation, they'd be out of there and the same should go for this poor baby. Report her or take the dog, whatever needs to be done to get her in a safe place.

[tikeyas_mom]

so if she couldnt afford to get her cat spayed, i am assuming that her newest dog isnt spayed either? Same goes for her two new kittens?? Just wait till her newest male kittens start to spray all over the house, then what is she gunna do? I would be just beside my self if this were my sister, I would honestly probably get into a huge fight with her about her neglect.. By the sounds of it I wouldnt even trust her with a goldfish, and thats just pathetic.. Its amazing how you and your sister can be so different with your pets, You are such a great dog/pet owner, and she.... well.. you said it your-self isnt treeating her animals very well... I really dont know what eles you could do, other then report her... I'm really sorry you have to go through this.

[Catty1]

If you PM me or someone with the facts, as crow noir said, we can do the reporting, and you can honestly say you didn't do it.

Don't make excuses for your sister - "she is really a good person". I am sure she is - but her actions with pets are deplorable. I wonder what kind of mother she is? You mentioned her 'taking out' stuff on her daughter if she knew you reported.

Maybe you can report it to a police officer and they can report it.

If your niece was being neglected, what would you do? Your sister wouldn't talk to you then either. SO WHAT? We're talking OTHER living creatures here.

She'll come around in a month or a year - and meanwhile, you will have kept more animals from a bad home.

I sure hope your niece doesn't get physically 'punished'...and I don't mean just a spank.

Your sister will not smarten up on her own...she needs a kick, and reporting this might do it. Stop covering her butt, and show her tough love. Nothing else has worked.

Sorry to sound mean - but I disagree with doing nothing.

[pitc9]

How sad... all the way around.
Sad for her pets that she's doing this too, sad because now that her kids see her treating animals this way chances are they will grow up doing the same, and sad for you because you are doing all you can to help and she doesn't realize it.

If it were me, I don't think I'd be able to report my own sister.

I think I would just take care of her animals the best I could for their own well being.

[wolf_Q]

I'm sorry to hear you're still having trouble with your sister and her pets. :( I know the feeling. My sister takes decent care of pets when she has them, but she keeps getting them then getting rid of them. She just got rid of her lab/border collie mix, she's talked of getting rid of the yorkie, and now she has another golden retriever puppy (when she's already gone through 2 goldens). If we had taken in all of the dogs she's had over the past 5 years (Syd is one of them) I bet we'd have at least 15 dogs. It's frustrating because there's nothing I can do about it, she never listens to me. I hope you'll be able to figure out something to help the poor dog. I don't know how it is there, but here its pretty much if they have food, water, and shelter that's about all the law requires.

[slleipnir]

I'm pretty sure she takes decent care of the kittens...but to me kittens/cats are so much easier to care for. They come to you when they want attention, you don't need to walk them, etc. Plus they have each other to play with. But with the dog she needs atleast 1/2 hour runs everyday with her energy level, and lots of attention. I don't know that they realize how important it is for them to get exersize. I tried telling her the reason her JRT went nutso was because he didn't have proper exersize. She doesn't listen. If she'd JUST let the dog out and take it for a short walk everyday, I'd be happy. I think the dog would calm down too. My mom thinks my niece is just making it up, but if you'd seen the dog I think you'd believe her too

[slleipnir]

If you PM me or someone with the facts, as crow noir said, we can do the reporting, and you can honestly say you didn't do it.

Don't make excuses for your sister - "she is really a good person". I am sure she is - but her actions with pets are deplorable. I wonder what kind of mother she is? You mentioned her 'taking out' stuff on her daughter if she knew you reported.

Maybe you can report it to a police officer and they can report it.

If your niece was being neglected, what would you do? Your sister wouldn't talk to you then either. SO WHAT? We're talking OTHER living creatures here.

She'll come around in a month or a year - and meanwhile, you will have kept more animals from a bad home.

I sure hope your niece doesn't get physically 'punished'...and I don't mean just a spank.

Your sister will not smarten up on her own...she needs a kick, and reporting this might do it. Stop covering her butt, and show her tough love. Nothing else has worked.

Sorry to sound mean - but I disagree with doing nothing.


I think she's a much better mother to her skin kids then she is to her fur ones. I don't think she knows how to handle her oldest (she does go out of control, but what 13 year old doesn't sometimes?)

honestly I'll try my best to make her listen and keep an eye on the dogs sanity...mom said she'd take her out sometimes to play with my dog and get some proper exersize

[slleipnir]

noahsmommy: She lives atleast 20 mins from me by car. I don't have a car. I live at home and my dad will no let me take more animals. I don't want anymore animals because I know I couldn't care for more right now. I can care for what I have now, and I feel thats it. If I had another young pup with that energy, I don't think I could give it the proper exercise along with my 2. I won't even walk my 2 together because Josie is dog aggressive and will bite Zeke if she sees a dog. The only way I'll want another dog is if I move to the country and have room for a huge fence. And to be honest, I couldn't afford 3 more animals.

If you ment going to her house, that's almost impossible without a car. I don't have the time to go out there once or twice everyday as much as I'd love to. I have a fulltime job and 4 pets of my own (which I know it's greedy, but they come first) I've gone out there many times and showed her how to train the dog so they can comfortably walk it. I've told them ways to keep it out of the cage without it being so crazy (obviously not listening there) I would LOVE to take them and give them a good home, but I know that it's not with me. She wouldn't allow me to take them anyway. Plus whenever I ask about her being in the cage she says she's only in there at night or when they go out. I can't honestly prove anything other then what I think and what my niece told me. (my niece that lies a lot)

as for the dog, she is spayed. The HS where she got her from will not release pets until they've been fixed.

as for the cats, I imagen she'll either give them up when she can't afford it, or she'llhave them neutered because they will spray everything. I just wish she'd stop giving them milk.

[IRescue452]

I wouldn't worry about the kittens getting milk. Not all cats get upset tummies from milk. It at least adds some nutrients to whatever cheapo food they are getting.

For now, so long as the dog is getting basic needs met and is spayed, try not to obsess too much because nobody is going to take the dog away from her. As you said, she'll probably get rid of it sooner or later. In the meantime, make an anonymous email tip to any shelter she gets animals from so they know not to adopt out to her anymore.