They came and took him! What do I do now? *UPDATE PAGE 5!* [Archive]

sumbirdy

07-08-2007, 04:36 PM

My parents and me have been raising my nephew since he was 2 weeks old. When he was about 3 or 4 months old his parents moved out and left him here. When they got a house they didn't try to get him. We had a date set at court for them to start paying child support. She went to the police yesterday and told them we had her baby and wouldn't give him to her. DHS told them to come get him (but they told us she couldn't have him until she got 2 years of anger management) The police said that if we didn't give him to her that my parents will go to jail for kidnapping. (They left him here!) She told them that we abused him (not true) I had just changed his diaper and was feeding him lunch when they came. The policeman said that I was sleeping and that I left him in his high chair by himself (I thought policemen were supposed to tell the truth!) I was not sleeping I was sitting at the table with him. Stephanie (the babies mother) also said that he had a poopy diaper (again not true) and a horrible rash on his groin (I would like to know what they did to him because that wasn't there when I had changed him) They also said we were "unfit" because our grass wasn't mowed and we had a lot of dogs. ( :mad: ) They also said that he was dirty. But that was because he was eating lunch and babies get dirty when they eat lunch. My mother has a seizure disorder and told Stephanie that this was killing her and Stephanie said "Well, maybe it will" She also told her that she "hopes she hurts for a long time" We've had him for almost a year and were very attached. This is ripping our hearts out and we're going to fight every step of the way. Stephanie said she wasn't going to let us see him again and she was going to put a restraining order on us (we didn't even do anything to her) She is a con artist and lies every other word and she has friends who have known her for all of two months who believe everything she says. We've tried to talk to them and tell them but they won't listen. They know about her history, about how she tried to kill her mother, but what they won't listen to is how she abused that baby while she stayed with us. My dad seen her shake him and I've seen her shake her fists at him. They won't believe us. We tried to get a lawyer and we need one for tomorrow morning but the only one we could get a hold of today wants half of the money now (which would be 1200 dollars) We don't have the money and no one is willing to help us. No one will loan us the money and we have nothing worth selling. I just don't know what to do. I miss him so much... I just want to see him again. I just want to hold him. :( :( :( :(

Kalei

07-08-2007, 05:00 PM

Wow, I don't know what else to say except that is all so terrible and I can't believe you even have to go through something like this. You sound like such a great person and I can't believe people can make up such nonsense, specially policemen! :mad: How awful!!!

Please keep us updated to what happens, I really hope you can get your little nephew back away from these terrible people.

joycenalex

07-08-2007, 06:06 PM

sumbirdy

07-08-2007, 06:56 PM

i am so sorry! was there any type of formalized custody order for your parents to have him? if so i'd call your caseworker tonight, leaving a message about this, do you have witnesses to that the baby was happy and healthy with you, like close responsible neighbors, your minister, the peditrician who can speak to your high quality care of him, and to his good health with you, any individual that a court would find to be credible. don't talk to her or her friends, as tempting as it would be don't engage with them at all, no matter what. you all have to be above reproach and as pure as fresh snow. make sure the yard and home is immaculate, take photos to prove it. an experienced family law attorney is going to cost money, there is no way around that. stephanies history will catch up with her. i am so sorry that this has happened to him and you.

My dad had a paper saying he was the custodian parent. But it didn't matter because it wasn't stamped by a judge. We have one woman who will be on our side. And several caseworkers,nurses, and such have been out and seen him, seen that he was happy and healthy. We don't have the money right now for the lawyer and can't find one that doesn't want money right now. I don't know if I can live without Nathan...It's so hard.

Karen

07-08-2007, 07:00 PM

Call the state bar association, they may be able to refer you to a lawyer who will work with you, and work out some sort of payment plan. You'll be in our prayers, and especially baby Nathan.

Catty1

07-08-2007, 08:31 PM

I would think the court appearance tomorrow could be adjourned until your family finds a lawyer.

Maybe Johanna or someone here knows about that.

HUGS!

sumbirdy

07-08-2007, 09:05 PM

I would think the court appearance tomorrow could be adjourned until your family finds a lawyer.

Maybe Johanna or someone here knows about that.

HUGS!

The court date wasn't supposed to be until the 16th. We're going tomorrow to show them all the evidence we've got against her and that everything (his Medicaid, ect.) is under my dad's name. We have his birth certificate, his social security car, everything. We're going to do everything and anything we can. We can't wait until we are able to find a lawyer. That's too long. He's not safe with her. We have her dad on our side. She has a warrant out for her arrest in another county (where her dad lives) but in this county they won't do anything because the other hasn't complained. Her dad knows the police there and he knows the DHS workers. They were called on her there by the hospital when he was a newborn because they didn't think he would be safe. He couldn't go home with them unless my parents are there.
Thank you all for your suggestions. We are doing everything we can. Just keep us in your prayers. God doesn't give us more than we can handle right? I'm just praying that He has a good plan worked out for Nathan.

Catty1

07-08-2007, 09:09 PM

I am glad her dad will be there! I guess he doesn't have time to get any paperwork.

Hopefully there will be a postponement til all the info can be gathered.

And there's a police officer or two who owe you a HUGE apology! :cool:

sumbirdy

07-09-2007, 03:31 PM

So far there has been nothing we can do. We have DHS going to investigate. The cop told us that he had orders from DHS to come get him but DHS told my dad that they didn't do that. He did this illegally. Stephanie is telling everyone that me and my dad came out yesterday and banged on their door and tried to break in. We didn't do that! She also said that I was wearing short shorts. I rarely even wear shorts. My brother told her that. Then she said maybe I was wearing a skirt. I don't wear skirts either. Then she said maybe dad was wearing the short shorts! None of this ever happened.
Dad said if we go through the courts to get him back we won't have him for at least a month. His birthday is Saturday and we won't even get to see him. What do we do with his presents? I miss him so much. I dream about him every night and he's all I can think about anymore.

Catty1

07-09-2007, 03:33 PM

The DHS can move mountains quickly, especially if their name has been used fraudulently!

Keep the faith, sweetie! I am glad this was reported to DHS - without a legal order from them, I HOPE Nathan will be back with you soon.

And that "mother" can go through the courts, like everyone else. Let HER wait for a month and get told NO.

HUGS HUGS HUGS!

sumbirdy

07-09-2007, 07:41 PM

This hurts so bad. It feels like somebody has ripped my heart out and all I can feel is pain. His stuff is everywhere, even after we have put a lot of it in his room and shut the door. Everything reminds me of him, from the portable clock he loved to play with to the doorknobs he liked to touch. :( But I can't let her win. I can't let her break me. I will fight. I will fight until he's 18 if I have to. My brother won't leave her even though she is killing my mother (mom has had several major seizures since Saturday) He says all he wants is his family (which is Stephanie) She's lied to him so much and he believes every word she says. He believes her over my dad who has never lied to him a day in his life.
I try to remember what dad said, that time, although it won't make it better, it will make it more bearable. But that may take a long, long time unless we get him back or are at least able to see and hold him. I cry for him 5 or 6 times a day. I don't know how I can live like this much longer.

Alysser

07-09-2007, 07:52 PM

I am so sorry you have to deal with this situation. It sounds terrible for you, your family, and poor little Nathan. I'll be thinking of you guys! If you have strong evidence, there is a very very high chance you'll get him back.

Catty1

07-09-2007, 08:12 PM

I hope that DSH confronts Stephanie while her husband is with her. Sometime, somehow, he will 'get it'. I am sure DSH has seen LOTS of spouses like him before.

His family is STEPHANIE? What about his son???

Prayers and hugs - this will work out. You'll see!

sumbirdy

07-09-2007, 08:15 PM

Prayers and hugs - this will work out. You'll see!

I hope so.

sumbirdy

07-10-2007, 11:35 AM

Time drags on and on these days...

crow_noir

07-11-2007, 01:10 AM

* HUGS *

Just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and your family and hoping the best. (I have been reading the thread, but just didn't know what to say or how to convey my emotions.)

Life can be so unfair.

Keep fighting and never give up!!!

sumbirdy

07-11-2007, 06:46 PM

Stephanie is getting arrested. It may not be today...it may not even be tomorrow, but it will happen. And she has no idea. We went to the sheriff's office today and discussed things with the county deputy and she has an outstanding warrant. The reason they hadn't found it before is because it was under her maiden name (which we supplied for them) The deputy went out to arrest her today but got called back because a prisoner escaped. We talked to a DHS worker and she said as soon as they arrest her we will be notified.
They told the DHS worker that the reason they came and got him is because we were trying to put him in a foster home. She asked if we wanted him and we said yes. But he will first go to his father. This is what worries us. My brother (Nathan's dad) believes everything these people that Stephanie has been living with says. We're worried they'll tell him to turn Nathan over to them so they can take care of him because he doesn't have a job. If Charles is unable to take care of Nathan, we want Nathan here. Which is what we hope will happen. Pray that Charles will let him live with us until he finds a stable job. Charles is unable to take care of a child by himself (he doesn't even know what to do!) I just hope he doesn't hand Nathan over to them.
Anyway Stephanie thinks she's as safe as can be. Little does she know...

Just pray for us that this will work out please.

Catty1

07-11-2007, 07:02 PM

I think blood relatives come before 'friends' where the DSH is concerned.

This is very hopeful news. I hope Charles really gets his eyes opened with this upcoming arrest.

HUGS

Prayers going out to all.

Karen

07-11-2007, 07:04 PM

sumbirdy

07-11-2007, 07:17 PM

Sumbirdy, while you wait, how about you start a little journal that some day you can give to Nathan - for his 21st birthday or something. About how he is, what he's like, how much you miss him, etc. Funny stories about himself that he'll enjoy some day ...

That's a good idea. I already have a letter written to him for his 16th birthday (I wrote it before all this happened). It tells him how proud of him I am and how much I love him.

Catty1-they said that the parents can say who they want their child to stay with. Charles and Stephanie both have equal rights when it comes to Nathan. But they said they were going to place him with Charles first unless Charles doesn't want him or is unable to take care of him. We believe Charles is unable to take care of him because he can't keep a job and doesn't have a steady income. They said they would like Nathan to be somewhere he knows and somewhere that he has stayed for a while (he was with us all his life until this past Saturday) So I'm thinking he has a very good chance of being placed back with us. We are also getting a lawyer through legal aid and are going to pursue guardianship.

I would really love to see her face win the policeman show up at her door to arrest her. (although I know that's not going to happen)

P.S. I've shared so much with you all these past few days that I think you can all call me by my first name-Summer.

sumbirdy

07-11-2007, 07:24 PM

Oh yeah...Stephanie said that by having Nathan helps them get all these "benefits" such as more food stamps, taniff (sp?), ect... but what I don't think they understand is that this stuff is for Nathan and there won't be any left over for them if they use it correctly. So what I'm wondering is what will she let Nathan go without so that she can get more? She doesn't even want him. That's obvious.

Catty1

07-11-2007, 08:05 PM

I would think the DSH would make sure what kind of care Charles can provide for Nathan...I don't think they would just 'dump' him in there.

I'm glad you guys are seeking guardianship...hopefully, Charles will have to prove he can support and look after Nathan.

HUGS!

Nathan will be thrilled with that letter one day! :)

crow_noir

07-11-2007, 11:34 PM

Stephanie is getting arrested...

Congratulations!!! :D

(Let's just hope that she doesn't lurk on here!)

Good luck on getting the guardianship instead of Charles.

*hugs*

AdoreMyDogs

07-12-2007, 06:44 AM

You and Nathan are in my prayers, Summer. I do hope all ends well and Nathan gets back to you ASAP where he obviously belongs. He's such a beautiful child and I know this must be so heart-breaking for you :( I can't imagine the pain you are going threw.

sumbirdy

07-12-2007, 03:08 PM

The other county will not come pick her up until the 23rd. This county can only hold her for 72 hours. So the earliest will be the 20th. Which is next Friday. DHS said they will keep a close eye on her. She and Nathan are supposedly moving out of the other people's house in with Charles today. I just hope their not just telling us that and then signing him over to someone else. I hope Charles doesn't do anything stupid. Charles says he just wants have his own family and I think that he just wants to feel like he's somebody important and that he doesn't care who he hurts to get it. This is not only hurting me and my parents, in the long run it will be hurting Nathan because she is an abuser and all Charles will do is turn his back to it. That's what he's good at, turning his back to whatever he sees her do wrong and then denying he ever saw it, both to other people and to himself.

My other brother and his wife and my other nephew Eli are coming Saturday so I'm hoping that that will ease some of the pain (although I know it will be far from erasing it.) I just don't know how I can act like I'm happy when their here when I just feel like crying all the time.

Thank you all for listening and being here. You cannot imagine the help you all have been.

crow_noir-if she's lurking and has read this then she would have been long gone by now.
She's always claimed to love animals but gets really mad when they lick her (even if it's just on her hand. That doesn't make sense) She volunteered for a local animal rescue here and they said she couldn't work for them anymore because when they would have the low cost spay/neuter clinic she would put the animals back in dirty cages.

sumbirdy

07-14-2007, 03:39 PM

Yesterday, dad got a restraining order against him from Stephanie. (Me and mom didn't get one) On it she put that he threatened to beat her up and that he harassed her about her child and threatened to take him. (He didn't do any of these things) He is going to court Monday. He said he is going to request that she take a lie detecting test and that he has no problem in taking one. He also said that he has no problem with the restraining order (it did not say he had to stay away from Charles or Nathan) He has no problem with staying away from her, he doesn't want to be around her anyway. (I don't see who would.) Anyway, here's to hoping all goes well...

sumbirdy

07-14-2007, 04:38 PM

Today is Nathan's birthday. He is 1 year old and I miss him so much. We had so much planned for today.

Karen

07-14-2007, 04:43 PM

Sweetie, whenever you guys get Nathan back, you can have the "birthday" party the next Saturday. He won't know the difference, and that'll give you something to look forward to!

sumbirdy

07-14-2007, 04:47 PM

Sweetie, whenever you guys get Nathan back, you can have the "birthday" party the next Saturday. He won't know the difference, and that'll give you something to look forward to!

I've thought of that as well...he won't remember it anyway.

sumbirdy

07-15-2007, 05:31 PM

Having a baby here actually makes it harder. I keep comparing...awww, Nathan does that too or wow, Nathan really does that different. I love Eli just as much as I love Nathan but they are so different. I wish Nathan could have been here now to spend time with his cousin. That would've been fun to watch. I still miss him so much and it hurts. It's like fire in my heart. Who would put their baby in that situation where they are torn from everything they know in one instant. Why not do it slowly? We always knew he would go to his daddy eventually but we thought it would be slowly, not just BAM! and he's gone. They just ripped him away from the only home and the only people he knows. I'm just glad that he's always loved people. Maybe this will make it easier on him. I don't want him to be scared...

sumbirdy

07-15-2007, 10:57 PM

There are moments in every day when it seems to be getting harder, and moments when it seems to be getting better. Right now I'm sure it's getting harder. I just have to keep telling myself that Nathan will be home soon.

sumbirdy

07-16-2007, 10:11 PM

Dad went to his court hearing today...they dissmissed it. Stephanie was there late and so she filed another one...with a whole different story on it. With a whole different set of lies. Now dad is going to get her for slander because she said things about him that isn't true (he tried to hurt her and Nathan, he keeps harrassing her, he has other people call and harrass her, ect...) Me and mom didn't go in but dad told us Charles was holding Nathan and when Stephanie saw him she grabbed Nathan from Charles and those other people surrounded her like they were trying to protect her. What gets me the most is that Nathan stretched his arms out to dad but they wouldn't let him go to him and he looked so sad and confused and upset. He didn't look happy (and Nathan always looks happy, he's a happy child by nature) He's missing his family and Stephanie is so cruel that she doesn't care that she is ripping everything and everyone away from him and forcing him to live with people he doesn't know and emotionally harming him. I miss Nathan and I don't want him to be scared or hurt, I just want him to be happy. If he was happier with someone else, it would hurt, but I would still want to see him, we never denied her seeing him, she just never seemed to want to.

Catty1

07-16-2007, 11:18 PM

Any idea when Stephanie will be arrested? I hope that will straighten things out.

That and the slander suit..and your dad has proof from a court of law.

HUGS

sumbirdy

07-17-2007, 12:11 PM

Any idea when Stephanie will be arrested?

At the earliest, the 20th, and at the latest, the 23rd. It just seems so long to wait.

Alysser

07-17-2007, 03:33 PM

Oh, Poor Nathan. He does sound so happy, but I can't believe, even when he stretched his arms out to your Dad they wouldn't let him see him. Poor Baby. :( I'm still thinking of you, your family, and Nathan.

sumbirdy

07-17-2007, 09:51 PM

I just want this to be over and Nathan to be home. It gets harder every day I'm without him. You would think it would get easier but it doesn't. I bought him some Tigger stickers for when he comes home. I put his stickers on his ceiling and he loves it. Whenever he's in his room he stares up at his stickers and points at them. So I got him some new ones to look at when he comes home. You all do think there is a good chance (given all the information I have given you) that he will come home don't you?

Queen of Poop

07-17-2007, 10:13 PM

Have been keeping up with this and praying that you get little Nathan home as soon as possible and that he remembers nothing of these strange events as he grow up. Hugs for you and your family, stay strong. Nathan needs you.

sumbirdy

07-18-2007, 01:23 PM

She only has 2-5 more days of freedom.
Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts.

sumbirdy

07-19-2007, 11:14 AM

Today my brother, sister-in-law and baby Eli are leaving. I fell in love with Eli and will be sad to see him go. But I know he has great parents who love and take care of him. And that I will see him again.
Tomorrow I'm hoping we will get Nathan back. Pray that that is the way it works out.

sumbirdy

07-19-2007, 03:14 PM

My brother Bobby, sister-in-law Dana and baby Eli left at noon. It was really hard to see them go because they made things a little better. It was really hard for dad. When they had to leave, dad and Eli were taking a nap on dads bed. I woke dad up and he carried Eli out to his car seat and we all kissed him goodbye.
They drove from Deleware and had to go down to Texas to see a friend. They said that if we had Nathan when they were driving back up to Deleware then they would stop by to see him. I hope we have Nathan tomorrow. I miss him so much. I don't think I'll ever be able to let him go again. The caseworker said that if Charles is not with her and the baby when they pick her up then they will call us. She isn't going to go hunt for him. So I'm sort of hoping that Charles isn't there. The way Charles has been lately, saying that he isn't involved (how could he not be involved? His wife is deliberatly hurting and saying things about his parents, sister and brother.) anyway, I don't want Nathan with Charles either. I bonded with Nathan like he was my own (which I guess is natural when someone is taking care of a child for almost a year) so of course I want him back here. I want to be able to see him every day. To wake up to him laughing. To go to sleep to the rythm of him breathing. To fill my days with his baby chatter. I miss him unbearably.

sumbirdy

07-19-2007, 09:29 PM

I'm praying that we get Nathan back home tomorrow. But I'm scared to hope on it because what if it doesn't happen? I know if we don't get him back tomorrow I'm going to be crushed.

wombat2u2004

07-19-2007, 09:41 PM

I'm praying that we get Nathan back home tomorrow. But I'm scared to hope on it because what if it doesn't happen? I know if we don't get him back tomorrow I'm going to be crushed.

Keeping fingers crossed for you mate.
Wom

Queen of Poop

07-19-2007, 10:20 PM

We've got it all crossed for you sweetheart. Praying hard that you get little Nathan back.

sumbirdy

07-19-2007, 10:44 PM

Thank you.

Lilith Cherry

07-20-2007, 12:20 AM

You are in all my good thoughts, Sumbirdy; I hope that tomorrow you have Nathan back safe and happy with you and your Dad.

WELOVESPUPPIES

07-20-2007, 07:18 AM

I have been following this thread and thinking of you and your family ever since I first read it(even though I never post). I pray that everything works out and that Nathan gets to come home with you. I pray that his mother gets what she deserves and that her little boy with grow up in your household where he is safe and dearly loved. God bless you all. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

sumbirdy

07-20-2007, 01:59 PM

Mom just talked to the caseworker. They probably won't pick her up until tomorrow (they have no clue when the other county is going to get her Monday and they can only hold her 72 hours.) She has a say in where she wants Nathan to go but ultimately it's up to Charles where he stays (I just hope she doesn't tell him where to leave Nathan and Charles just goes along with it) When she gets picked up we get notified and then we are going out with a policeman to talk to Charles (just so there's no trouble if those other people are there) I know if mom and dad talk to Charles they can work something out and Charles may even let us bring Nathan home with us. (I'm praying that's the case)
Anyway what this all comes down to is another day without Nathan.

joycenalex

07-20-2007, 03:49 PM

my prayers are for nathans' prompt return to the loving stable home he has known. kindest regards, joyce

sumbirdy

07-20-2007, 03:52 PM

Maybe they will pick her up this evening. It would probably be better to do it tomorrow though just in case the other county is late picking her up, so they won't have to let her go. I just wish I could fast forward until this was all over and Nathan was here living with us. The waiting and not knowing is killing me. There's also the chance that if the police show up at her door then she won't answer (she was given instructions not to answer when the people she is staying with aren't home) So maybe if they pick her up tomorrow those people won't be working and will be home and the police will see their van in the driveway and know they're home. I don't know. I just wish I knew what was going to happen. I wish I knew for sure that we would get Nathan back.

sumbirdy

07-20-2007, 05:44 PM

Well, still nothing. I guess by now they decided to pick her up tomorrow. (?) The warrant is outstanding so I know she will be picked up before Monday. (Does the police pick up people on Sundays?)

Craftlady

07-20-2007, 06:00 PM

Well, still nothing. I guess by now they decided to pick her up tomorrow. (?) The warrant is outstanding so I know she will be picked up before Monday. (Does the police pick up people on Sundays?)

Police pick people up 24/7 - 365 days a year.

sumbirdy

07-20-2007, 06:15 PM

Police pick people up 24/7 - 365 days a year.

Well, that's good to know.

sumbirdy

07-20-2007, 11:32 PM

Would this help us any?

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=130320714

It's Stephanies Myspace page stating that she doesn't want any kids.

Catty1

07-20-2007, 11:36 PM

You'd have to show it to your dad, and he would have to check with DSH.

{{{{hugs}}}}

sumbirdy

07-21-2007, 03:19 PM

They still have not arrested her (or if they did they have not notified us, which they said they would) It's past 3:00 and I don't know why it's taking them so long. Maybe they don't think of it as an emergency. (?) Or maybe the people she is staying with work on Saturdays and she's not answering the door. Anyway she has a court date Monday and dad said that if she shows up (unescorted by police officers) he is going to the police station (which is right next to the court house) and asking them about it.
But I just want Nathan away from her. She needs help and he's not safe there.

Queen of Poop

07-21-2007, 06:52 PM

sumbirdy

07-21-2007, 07:22 PM

Curious, her myspace page shows 1 friend, Tom. Says that she is single and doesn't want any kids. Isn't that all contradictory to her current state!? I definately think the caseworker needs to know about this information.

Tom is on everyone's friend list. He is the creator or something. But yes, it does say she is single and doesn't want kids. (Which are both things you have to pick, they are not atomatically set on them) We have a printed copy of hers. Charles' had said in February the same thing but in April he changed it to proud parent but it still says that he is single.
There is also a lady that used to work with Stephanie that we know. This lady had no idea Stephanie had a son. Stephanie had told her that she didn't have any kids and never wanted any.

chocolatepuppy

07-21-2007, 08:42 PM

I'm sorry this is happening to you. :( I will pray that you get Nathan back. {hugs}

sumbirdy

07-22-2007, 12:39 AM

It is another sleepless night. Every time I close my eyes I see little Nathan and can't help but cry. Is he scared, I wonder. I know he has to miss us and wonder where we are at. That hurts most of all. I don't want him to think we have abandoned him. We are the only family he knows. This house is the only house he knows. Poor baby has been forced to live with strangers and sleep in a house and a crib that he doesn't know. He never did well with sleeping in an unfamiliar place. Every time we had to go somewhere and spend the night somewhere else he would cry all night long. And that was with us with him. How much worse is it with people he does not know? How could someone be so cruel and do this to a child?

sumbirdy

07-23-2007, 01:49 PM

Well, I got to see Nathan today, and hold him. But for only like 2 minutes. The other county has dropped their charges on Stephanie so she no longer has a warrant out for her. (They dropped the day after we filed charges, which seems a little fishy) Charles said we could come by and see Nathan. Mom couldn't bear seeing him but not being able to take him home so dad stayed in the car while I went to their door. Nathan acted like a totally different child. He acted like he didn't know me and I didn't see him smile once. (He always smiles for strangers, he loves people) He had a slight reddish rash on his face. Charles wanted to take him out to the car to see my parents but Stephanie wouldn't let him. She thought we were just going steal him (we're not that stupid) so she tried to take him from my arms but I wouldn't (couldn't) let him go. She threatened to call the police (what would they have done? Charles invited me there and Nathan is my nephew. Besides the house is under Charles' name, not hers) I finally had to let Nathan go because she was tugging so hard I thought she would hurt him. I told her that if she cared about him she would have got him a long time ago (like when they got a house) She just said "Whatever". She didn't even say that she did care for Nathan. Then she went inside with Nathan and starting cursing Charles and screaming at him.
I will never forget that look in Nathan's eyes. Like someone who has seen so much. And he's only a little over a year old. That's sad.
I feel so helpless, like there's nothing we can do and it's so physically and emotionally draining. I told Charles that if he didn't make things better (not necessarily by giving Nathan to us, but letting us be freely able to see him and take him places like out to get ice cream, the zoo, or over to our house for the weekend, normal stuff that grandparents and aunts should be able to do with their grandchildren and nephew/niece) then he lost his parents, sister, and probably brother too. She has said so much about us, lies and hurtful things, and he never once stood up for us, he just let it happen. He said he is trying to make things right but I don't believe him anymore. As far as I'm concerned I only have one brother and his name isn't Charles. I would leave someone who has talked about my parents the way she has. My sister-in-law, Dana said that if she said half the things about my parents that Stephanie has then she would expect Bobby (my oldest brother) to leave her. But Charles just stands by us and lets her say these things, lets her crush us. Then he trys to say he loves us. I don't believe that.
It's been a very bad day. All hope seems to be lost but I love Nathan so much that I will never give up on this. Like I have said before, I will fight until he is 18. I will know where he is at (not stalking, just knowing his location and if he's safe and happy) I want to keep up with his well-being. I will not let her win. I cannot let her win. This is not over.

sumbirdy

07-24-2007, 12:51 PM

This is the last post I will be posting on this thread unless something drastically changes. I have to face the fact that Nathan is more than likely never coming back (not even to visit) and also that he is Charles' child and Charles will have to deal with the emotional problems of a little boy who never feels a mothers love and sees her scream at his father (and more than likely him) and lash out and hit. The system (child welfare) is so screwed up. We had told them we seen her abuse him in November but they said it "has to have been more recent" so basically he has to be hurt before they will do anything. They've heard things from countless people (even people who work for them) that have told them how she is and how she cannot control her anger and how she is violent but overall it is up to the person that is over everybody to say if they go get him...and she says no. Basically he has to be beaten first. This place obviously doesn't look at emotional abuse. If you had seen Nathan when he was living here and then again yesterday you would have seen a big difference. It is obvious, so incredibly obvious, that he is not happy and that he has already been emotionally abused. Now it is only a matter of time, when Stephanie thinks it is all over and she is no longer being watched, that the physical abuse will start. (Well, actually, continue since it already started when she was living with us) It is up to Charles to protect him and keep his safe and I'm not sure that he will.
I'm going to use my mental Backspace button to delete Charles from ever being my brother and Stephanie from ever entering my life. But I cannot delete Nathan. I will think of him everyday, I will always worry about him and what she has done. Please keep Nathan in your prayers. Pray that she will not hurt him too bad (preferably not at all, but I know that she will) Please keep us in your thoughts as well, that we will move on, that we will continue to survive and live. Because honestly right now the thing I want to do the most is just go to sleep...and never...never wake up.

joycenalex

07-24-2007, 06:15 PM

i am so sorry that this has happened. i will keep nathan and you and your family in my prayers

Catty1

07-24-2007, 06:22 PM

I will keep you and Nathan in my prayers, Sumbirdy. I thought your Dad had applied for custody...I hope something can still be worked out.

Up around here, I believe that Family Services HAS to investigate a complaint, even if anonymous.

If you guys could go visit once again - hide a tape recorder. That might be the only thing you could do.

Alysser

07-24-2007, 06:27 PM

Aw, I'm so sorry sumbirdy. Regardless, I'll still be thinking of you.

Karen

07-24-2007, 06:41 PM

Keep that journal going, some day you'll be able to give it to him, even if you have to wait until he's 18.

We have a friend who one day, out of the blue, got a phone call. It was from his nephew, that his sister had had taken away by DSS years and years before. DSS was right to do so, she never took care of, barely fed, changed, etc. her kids, moved in with her brothers and expected them to do so. Well, 13 years later, our friend got a phone call, and his nephew had been adopted and raised by a nice family, was a teenager, and decided to try to find his uncles. They reconnected and have a nice relationship now.

crow_noir

07-25-2007, 12:14 AM

*hugs*

I'm so sorry all of this has happened. I feel so scared for Nathan. For now all i can do is try and send protective white light for him and say prayers.

crow_noir

07-25-2007, 12:21 AM

Hey, as i was emailing a friend (who's sort of part of a prayer chain) a thought came to me.

Would getting an investigative news source involved help? Sometimes they can be quite persuasive. Either local news, or something like 20/20. Usually these tiny organizations don't like these things going national.

I hate the spotlight and never would have considered this. I've seen it suggested to others in the past and have seen the wonders it can do. I know you said you'd stop at nothing to get him back, so i thought i'd throw this out there. I understand though if you don't want to go this route.

sumbirdy

07-25-2007, 12:47 AM

Craftlady

07-25-2007, 08:20 AM

All local news stations have websites with email address for the reporters.

sumbirdy

08-01-2007, 11:23 PM

Guess who's here?! NATHAN!!!!! Well, he's only here until Monday. Charles finally put his foot down and said that she can't keep Nathan away from his extended family (especially since we are the only family he has known for all his life) So he's here until Monday!!! Yay!!! I can't tell you how happy I am.
We're going to work out some arrangement. It's either going to be Nathan stays here for 5 days, there 10, he stays here for 5 days, there 7, or he stays here for 7 days, there 10. I don't know what it'll be. But this is better than nothing.
He has 7 teeth (two more from when he left here) and he can't take a couple of steps by himself. The only thing really different is that it's harder to get him to smile. I've attached pics and I couldn't get him to smile (before he would smile at anything) And he's got flea bites all over him. I think these five days will be a welcome break from all the screaming he probably hears every day. This way he will know there are nice people in the world and not everyone yells.
*Sniff**Sniff* I smell poo. :) I can't tell you how happy I'm going to be to change this poopy diaper. (Never thought I would say that)

crow_noir

08-01-2007, 11:42 PM

* SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM * :D

OMG!!!! *hug* *spinny hug*

That is so freaken awesome!!! I know it's not the best case scenario but it's better than bleak.

I'm all teary eyed and sniffly now. I'm SO happy for you all.

Karen

08-01-2007, 11:45 PM

Oh, yay! Congratulations most of all to Charles, for realizing, and for putting his foot down.

Catty1

08-01-2007, 11:59 PM

sumbirdy

08-02-2007, 12:08 AM

I am so happy too! Stephanie was all in fake mommy mode when mom and dad got him. ( I didn't go with them) All teary eyed and saying she will miss him and stuff. :rolleyes: After 11 1/2 months of only seeing him about every 3 months or so (sometimes longer) and not even seeming to care when she was with him, she's not gonna make us believe this one. You don't just automatically switch from who gives a dang to perfect mommy. She tried to tell mom how to take care of him (like we hadn't raised him for nearly a year! And she didn't bother to ask us anything about him when they came and took him)
Anyway she's saying that she doesn't want him here every so often but Charles said that's the way it's gonna be and dang it we're going to hold him to it! Plus adult protective service was there to have a little chat with them and said they better make mom happy or they were pressing charges. I bet that scared 'em!
Nathan is so clingy now. Every time I try to put him to bed he cries and holds his arms up to me, so he's still awake (It's midnight here). I can't get enough of holding him.
We're having a late birthday party tomorrow. :p
Here's some more pics of me and him.
In the last one it looks like he's asleep but really he's just looking down.

sumbirdy

08-02-2007, 12:11 AM

That is AWESOME!!!!! :D :D :D

I hope there will still be some charges against Stephanie...and/or that Charles realizes Nathan should be with you folks most of the time if he just can't give him the care he needs all the time.

I hope your dad informs DSH about the flea bites...and less smiling....

Does your family still have an application for custody?

I don't think she has any charges against her and Charles has changed his story about how good of a mom she is (from bad to great) so many times that I don't know what he believes anymore.

We talked to DHS about him not being as happy but they said they can't go get him because he's not happy.

Dad was trying to get legal guardianship but found out he can't do that unless both parents sign their consent (even if she was in jail)

Catty1

08-02-2007, 01:11 AM

Well, after a few more visits with Nathan, and with Adult Protective Services checking on them....you never know what the future may bring.

Hugs and prayers!

chocolatepuppy

08-02-2007, 05:14 AM

I'm so glad you get to see Nathan! :D

sumbirdy

08-02-2007, 01:37 PM

About four this morning I woke up to the most awful crying. It was heart wrenching. He sounded so scared and when I picked him up he cried harder until he heard my voice. Then he hushed a little and I walked him around the room talking to him and he snuggled against me. I guess at first he thought he was back at Stephanie's house and that it was Stephanie picking him up. I never heard him cry like that in his whole life. It makes me wonder what she has done to him. Every time I tried to put him back in his bed he would cry and finally at about six or six-thirty we both fell asleep with him on my chest.
When he lived here before he was fine with playing by himself in his room for a few minutes while we did something (like wash the dishes or laundry) but now if we get out of his eyesight he starts crying until we come back and pick him up.
Last night he when I gave him a bath he acted like he hadn't had a bath in forever (and smelled like it too) and mom said when they picked him up his clothes he was wearing were filthy. She asked Stephanie if he had just ate and she said "No, he's just a boy." which basically means "No, I just don't clean him up." I'm ok with letting kids get dirty but don't just let them sit in the filth! Mom took the shirt off that he was wearing and was going to take it to show DHS how filthy they keep him but Stephanie snatched it away from her.
The bumps he has all over him have gotten bigger and redder so we're going to take him to the doctor either today or tomorrow to find out just what they are.
We're pouring on the love with Nathan and he's beginning to smile a little more. We're going to show him the best we can what it's like to be loved unconditionally every minute of the day. Pretty soon he's going to start noticing the difference between us and his mother.

Catty1

08-02-2007, 01:54 PM

sumbirdy

08-02-2007, 02:07 PM

I hope your mom brings him home next time and THEN takes the shirt to DHS.

I mean...any normal mom would have their kid clean and fresh cloths for a visit.

I am glad he is starting to smile. I still pray for positive things in the future.

I hope the bumps are easily treatable...does DHS get a copy of Nathan's medical reports?

HUGS!

Mom said the shirt was just so gross that she had to take it off then. She couldn't stand to leave it on him any longer. All Stephanie sent with him was a few diapers and a sippy cup. We have everything for him but still...wouldn't you think a mother would like to send her son off with a favorite toy or something? Mom went and bought him a new shirt to wear home and another shirt "just because". He has a lot of clothes here but mom just thought it would be nice to buy him something new. She also bought him new toys to play with (although he has zillions here). :p We reunited him with his favorite stuffed monkey and frog and he was excited to see them again.
I don't know if DHS gets a copy of his medical reports. I guess we could have one faxed to them. :confused:

Anyway, Nathan is now taking his afternoon nap and I had to stay in the room with him until he went to sleep. He kept his eyes fixed on me until he couldn't hold them open any longer.
It's going to be so hard letting him go Monday but we are going to go get him again the Monday after and keep him another five days I think.

joycenalex

08-02-2007, 02:08 PM

i am so glad he's with you.

sumbirdy

08-02-2007, 02:24 PM

Thank you all for your support and prayers throughout all of these. These past 3 weeks I basically lived on this site.

pitc9

08-02-2007, 03:54 PM

I'm so glad to hear (and see) that he's back with you.

sumbirdy

08-03-2007, 10:47 AM

I woke up at four this morning to him having another nightmare. I rocked him back to sleep and just held him for a little while. He was comforted somewhat easier this time.
I think by the time we get him sure of himself again and over these nightmares it'll be Monday and he'll go back with her and we'll have to start all over again the next week. She's done something to him because in the whole time he was with us he only had a nightmare about twice and those were both on the nights were he had seen her. Coincedence? I don't think so. I don't know exactly what she is doing but she needs to stop. She is hurting him. Maybe it's emotional, or physical, or both. I know we're having some good affect on him because Charles and Stephanie both told us he woke up more than four times at night and so far both nights he was here he has only woken up once each night. And he's smiling a lot more.
I posted more pics. He was really interested in the keyboard but I wouldn't let him have it so he wasn't too happy.
I'll probably post at least one pic for every day he is here.

Catty1

08-03-2007, 11:06 AM

Oh, Summer - that is so maddening...he has nightmares after he has seen his mom - even his dad talks about the number of times he wakes up at their home - I mean, it is GREAT that he will spend a lot of time with you, but like you say, it takes almost all that time to get him almost back to where he was...

I hope your dad tells Charles how many times Nathan wakes up while he is with you...even Charles will have to think.

OMG...why can DHS not investigate this woman?

Anyway - I hope his doctor appointment went well.

Prayers coming to you all.

sumbirdy

08-03-2007, 02:42 PM

My mothers nurse came out and looked at him today (actually she just left) She said they were some kind of bites but she didn't know what...possibly those red ants. Charles and Stephanie sit him out in the grass a lot without bug protection so it's no wonder he has bites all over him. The last time Nathan has seen this nurse was the day before they took him. When he first saw her then he smiled at her. Today he's reluctant to smile at anyone. I guess he lost that trust in humankind. He used to be the type of baby who smiled at absolutely everyone. Now he just stares at them and if they talk to him he buries his head in my (or mom or dad's) shoulder.

Stephanie is bugging dad about handing over Nathan's social security card and birth certificate (for some reason they think this is going to get them a bigger apartment) When Nathan was born she marked on his birth certificate that she didn't want the hospital to get Nathan a social security number. And you know who ended up getting it? Dad. I can't tell you how many times I seen dad on the phone with those people, filling out stuff and sending stuff in to get Nathan a social security number. Because Charles and Stephanie wouldn't do it. Now she wants him to just hand it over to her and dad won't do it. I don't blame him. If they want it so bad they can go through all the stuff dad had to go through to get it.

DHS will not help us. We've told them, other people have told them. They won't listen. They said they went out there and everything was fine. But that was just Stephanie playing her "I'm a perfect Mommy" card. She does it well, I've seen her do it. And as soon as they were gone she sat Nathan in a chair and walked off and left him.

When Nathan was 2 or 3 months my parents decided to leave everything alone for a day and see how good a mother Stephanie was. She left him sitting in a chair all day and the only attention he got from her was when she shoved a bottle in his mouth.

She had the nerve to call dad yesterday and ask all this stuff about Nathan and say she was just a worried mother! Where was she when he had an ear infection and was cranky all night? Where was she when he had the sniffles? Where was she when he cut his first tooth? When his tummy was upset? When he learned to crawl? When he first ate solids? His first in-the-tub bath? When he started cruising? She wasn't here. We never kept her away from him yet she never called, never asked about this stuff, and only visited on holidays. And then she never acted like she wanted to take care of him! She would complain about it! And now she has the nerve to pretend she was the perfect mother all along and just wanted her baby back because she missed him?! :mad:

Mom has 2 years to press charges on Stephanie with Adult Protective Services. By then Nathan will be 3 and maybe, just maybe DHS will listen to a child when he confirms all that we have said. (When he's older I'm going to teach him to dial 911 if it's an emergency, I think living with her he needs to know how.)

I really got lost in this rant.

Catty1

08-03-2007, 06:42 PM

I still like the idea of a small tape recorder - or digital recorder - the next time your parents go there.

I wonder if the nurse noticed the change in him?

Prayers coming all the time.

sumbirdy

08-03-2007, 08:31 PM

The nurse did notice a difference in him. And she also told us another bit of info. She told us that she used to work with abused children. We have noticed Nathan slapping himself in the face. When she seen it she said she used to see that with abused children whose parents hit them.
Charles is changing his story so much. At first he told us that Stephanie didn't act like she wanted to take care of Nathan and when he cried she would either ignore him or scream at him to shut up (I believe this story)
And he also said he was going to tell Child Welfare about it.
NOW he's saying that she doesn't do any of this stuff and that she's a great mom. (I don't believe this story)

Nathan's sleeping peacefully now and I'm hoping my little angel has a night with no problems, no bad dreams.

sumbirdy

08-04-2007, 11:27 AM

More pics! I got a couple of him smiling this time. He's sitting in his exersaucer behind me eating some Graduates Lil' Crunchies and drinking his juice. I'm about to go clip his nails. That should be fun since he's so wiggly.

Last night he woke up at 10:00 and wouldn't go back to sleep so at 1:00 in the morning we had to drive him around. It might have been because it was so hot in our house last night.

Catty1

08-04-2007, 12:06 PM

I hope the nurse can report this to DHS or SOMEONE! Maybe she has some advice that will help your parents.

Maybe, with a but of information here, a bit there, your mom will be able to lay charges sooner rather than later.

CathyBogart

08-04-2007, 12:52 PM

CPS is a bunch of BIG FAT IDIOTS if they'll harass my teenage siblings at length about something that happened a decade ago and yet won't help you and Nathan. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

sumbirdy

08-04-2007, 10:32 PM

*sigh* We got him to bed by 8 tonight and he's already woke up twice. The number of times he wakes up is getting worse but it's getting easier to get him back to sleep. I just don't get it. Monday we are going to ask her directly what she has done to him and if she won't admit it I'm going to make it known that I know she has done something and I intend to find out. It's cruel to a baby to take him out of the only home he has ever known and force him to live with complete strangers.
Mom told her he was allergic to Huggies diapers and you know what she said? "You don't have to worry about that, I'm not going to waste my money on that" I understand a mother saying she can't afford a more expensive brand but saying she's not going to waste her money on something that will go to her child?! That just tells us even more that she doesn't love him. Well, I take that back, she loves him like somebody loves a possesion, like their car. She's a control freak, she wants control over everything and everybody. When she lived here she tried to take control over everything in the house and when we wouldn't let that happen she got mad. When she went grocery shopping with mom she would tell her what she should buy and she would rearrange the whole house to suit her without asking anyone. I guess she thinks Nathan is someone she can have control over. But Nathan has a mind of his own and he's not going to be her little puppet. She also thinks she is going to get money off of him because we did. We got money because the government looked at him as our foster child. And everything we got went to him. Almost everything we got went to him. I can't tell you the last time any of us have bought something new for ourselves unless we absolutely needed it. She makes me so mad using Nathan like this. :mad:
Nathan came back to us so insecure and so clingy. And unless they have a change of heart and let us have him (doubtful) or Charles divorces her (even more doubtful) and gets sole custody, he's always going to be like this. I just hope that once he figures out we're always going to come back for him and we're not leaving him forever then this will get a little easier for him. I just want him to be the happy, carefree little boy he once was. I don't want to take him back because I don't want him to think we are abandoning him with them. I just wish he was old enough to understand.
Here's a pic I took of me and him about 20 minutes ago when he woke up. Babies are gifts from God, they don't deserve to be hurt or abused. I just wish everyone would look at it that way. The world would be so much better.

Pawsitive Thinking

08-04-2007, 11:08 PM

Poor little mite...maybe the novelty of having him around will wear off and his stupid, worthless, selfish..(I could go on) mother will hand him back to you. Children are resilient and he will come through this - they are also the best judge of people so he will know where he is truly loved and safe and once he finds his voice he will make it clear to everyone. Good luck

sumbirdy

08-05-2007, 01:30 PM

Well, tonight has will be our last night until Saturday (mom decided she was going to pick him up a couple of days early and if they don't agree she's going to have a little talk with Adult Protective Services because they are supposed to be making her happy) It's going to be hard. Really hard. And unlike when they gave him to us, he's going to be clean when he goes back. And we are going to tell them to keep him that way. He gets really dirty when he eats because he likes to feed himself, but there's no reason to let him sit in it for hours. I clean him up right after he gets done eating. Those bumps are almost gone and he doesn't have any new ones and guess what? We've even taken him outside! And still no new bites! Amazing isn't it? :rolleyes: Mom even gave her some stuff to keep the bugs away that she had for Nathan so we better not be seeing any more of those bites on him.

He's napping right now (which is the only reason I'm on here) so I probably won't be on for the rest of the day as I want to spend lots of time with him.

sumbirdy

08-06-2007, 01:55 PM

Charles has agreed to having him five days here and five days there. He also said that he may want us to keep him for a few more days sometimes.
Nathan has become afraid of belts and Stephanie tried to tell Charles it was because my dad whipped him with one ( :eek: ) Charles told her that dad wouldn't do that with a one year old baby (dad does believe in spankings but not until a child is at least 6 or 7)
We also found out that when Stephanie can't handle Nathan getting up at night she calls her friends to come and get him and they are getting a little ticked off about it. What kind of mother doesn't want to be with her baby at night? I love being with Nathan at night. It's true, I don't get very much sleep, but I think one of the greatest gifts I can give him is letting him know that I am there and loving him and comforting him through his nightmares.
Anyway right now he is still with us and we're taking him back tonight and picking him up again Saturday.
I've attached a pic of him with his leap frog that sings the alphabet that I bought for him Thursday.

mrspunkysmom

08-06-2007, 02:34 PM

I haven't seen this mentioned before, so I'm mentioning it now. I hope I don't step on anyone's toes.

You need to keep a diary or journal of all that you have told us here. I have been told that if kept daily, a journal is considered a legal document and is admissable as evidence. Be sure to separate your feelings separate from observations and hearsay (gossip). You can write about your feelings, but the journal should be clear about what you are discussing. Make sure you credit quotes from people and give date, time, and location and any witnesses.

This would also be a good way to put each day in perspective and work through your feelings.

Get good pictures of any marks or excessive bites. I'm sure you are doing that anyway.

I don't know that you should mention this board. Yes, this is the same thing as talking with friends, but there are those that would differ in their opinion.

As a teacher I keep a journal of class events and meetings with principals. It has been a lifesaver. I let my bosses know I keep the journal, but I'm not sure you should let her know. You want to record her behavior without incentive to behave otherwise.

I think you are doing a good thing for Nathan. I hope you succeed in getting him back permanently.

Karen

08-06-2007, 02:49 PM

Give that boy an extra kiss from all of us, okay?

sumbirdy

08-06-2007, 06:52 PM

We just got back from taking him back to his daddy. She didn't come out of the house and that was good because none of us wanted to hand him over to her. There was one thing I was very glad to see. He loves his daddy and appears to feel safe with him. I'm glad there is one person in that house he's like that with. But I didn't think he thought we were going to leave. He looked at us over Charles' shoulder with the saddest eyes when we were driving off. It made me want to cry. :( I hope when we do this a few more times he will realize that we'll always be back for him. I just hate to leave him there.

mrspunkysmom-I had heard that keeping a journal can be considered legal documents. I had meant to do that, thanks for reminding me. I have several notes to Nathan but they don't go into much details, which is what I had planned on writing down, all the details, such as how Stephanie acted towards Nathan when they lived here, and then when they moved out (and left him) and how Nathan acted before and after this happened.

Soon, I'm hoping for Nathan's sake that this back and forth routine will become normal for him, because I don't see Stephanie letting go of him as long as she thinks she'll get something out of it. Which reminds me, she went into the DHS office (a different branch than the one we have been trying to get to help us) to get more money on their foodstamps "for Nathan" and when they wouldn't do it started screaming at them. She gets WIC, that plus the foodstamps they get now is plenty to feed them and a baby. One of the workers told her "Well, it seems that someone over eats and it's not the baby."
With Stephanie it always has to be more, more, more and it always has to be about and for her. With a baby, you just can't be that way. You can't be selfish and greedy without hurting your child.

Alysser

08-06-2007, 07:33 PM

Woah, haven't posted since before you got Nathan back.

I am so happy you get to see him again! Great news. I have one question. Wasn't Stephanie supposed to be arrested?? I really hope she is soon.

sumbirdy

08-06-2007, 07:42 PM

Woah, haven't posted since before you got Nathan back.

I am so happy you get to see him again! Great news. I have one question. Wasn't Stephanie supposed to be arrested?? I really hope she is soon.

She talked to her parole officer and he ended up dropping the warrant. It would have been nice if she was that way Nathan probably would have been here full time and not have to be with her.

sumbirdy

08-08-2007, 02:07 PM

So...Stephanie took Nathan to get his shots yesterday and told Charles that the doctor said that Nathan was stressed from being over here. Mom called this doctor (It just happens that we've known him for a while) and he said that he didn't say anything about stress and was really upset that she lied about what he said. So...mom told Charles this and he said "Yeah, I knew that didn't sound right." This was the only home Nathan ever knew, why the heck would he be stressed from being over here? Besides, we're very quite people that rarely yell which is the exact opposite over there. Where do you think he would be stressed at?
Anyway, mom told Charles he needed to come to his senses and he said "Yeah, I'm getting there." So mom said, "Well while you're 'getting there' Nathan is suffering" Charles told mom he wouldn't leave Stephanie because he's afraid that she would lie about a bunch of stuff about him. She already told him that if he did anything wrong she was going to call DHS and tell them that all the stuff we said she was doing was actually stuff that he was doing but mom and dad didn't want to tell them that because Charles is their son. She ticks me off so much :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: What I don't get is why doesn't Charles go to DHS himself now and confirm all the stuff we have told them. But he's always saying that he doesn't want to make her mad. Who cares?! He needs to step up and protect his son and get both Nathan and himself away from her.

Catty1

08-08-2007, 04:16 PM

What does he mean, MAKE her mad???

She ALWAYS is.

He might as well give her something to get REALLY mad about.

It's like an abused wife - he has to find a safe place for him and Nathan through DHS, and then report what has been happening.

I hope he does....

sumbirdy

08-08-2007, 06:32 PM

Charles told her something along the lines of if she keeps being the way she is he's going to take Nathan (don't know the exact words) We've always told Charles to not warn her ahead of time and just do it. But what did he do...? And then what did she do? She took off with Nathan. She went over to her friends house and I don't think she'll let Charles see him.
Charles should have done something a long time ago (and not told her beforehand.) He's ticking me off just as much as she is because he won't stand up for an innocent defensless baby. :mad: He's telling mom that he see's how she is and that we were right about everything but he still won't do anything about it.

Catty1-you're right. She is ALWAYS mad. And that's what scares me the most. When she's mad she gets physical and doesn't care who's in her way. She got so mad once that she ended up kicking her dog so hard she broke her leg!
And Nathan gets frustrating. He's teething and he's at that point where he knows what he wants but when you can't understand he gets upset. He also gets into everything and you can't just set him down and leave him (which I think is what they do because mom said they had taken his wheels off of his walker and it looked like he pratically lived in the thing)

I just hope they get over this and we can go get Nathan Saturday and when we know he is safe we'll probably have to guide Charles into getting her commited (or some form of help)

Catty1

08-08-2007, 06:41 PM

DHS MUST have a pamphlet or something outlining the best way to report someone...as in DON'T tell the person first.

I hope he would consider calling DHS - even from a pay phone to be anonymous - and tell them what is happening, and what they would advise him to do!

BIG prayers here....

sumbirdy

08-09-2007, 06:14 PM

Mom talked to Charles this morning and Stephanie is back. (Figured she would be) As far as I know we are still picking Nathan up Saturday (and this time he's staying for a whole week) Mom could hear Stephanie in the background saying "Nathan, tell her that you have a lot more fun over here." :rolleyes: What baby (or any person for that matter) would have "a lot more fun" with a self-centered, selfish, angry, violent, always screaming person? She was just trying to get to us and make us think Nathan doesn't like it over here. Right. I guess that's why his face lit up when he saw his room and all his zillions of toys (according to what mom has seen he only a handful over there and Nathan gets bored with the same toys really easily, which is why he has so many here)
She reminds me more of a 10 year old than a 20 year old and I think I will just ignore her. She just wants attention and will do anything to get it. Which is probably another reason she wanted Nathan. Babies get you attention.

Anyway, a woman from Adult Protective Services came out today to get the story from mom again. She informed us she was a cat person when our kitten Maggie immediately caught her eye. And we informed her that Maggie was a person cat. So Maggie was in Heaven. She got to sit in the woman's lap for about 20-25 minutes and get extra pampering. It was weird because the dogs didn't bark very much at her (usually they go crazy when someone they don't know drives up.) Even Lacy quieted down after a few minutes (which is odd because Lacy barks and barks and barks and barks) I guess she was an okay person. I usually rely on my dogs to tell me if people are okay or not. I know to some people that would sound funny but I'm sure some of you on here understand what I mean.

crow_noir

08-09-2007, 11:33 PM

Well, good luck with everything.

Totally understand... and if you say your pets say this was an okay person, then trust them.

Before King was my dog i took my friends over to meet them. If they didn't go over there i'd observe his reaction to them anyhow (if he wasn't chained up at the time. *sigh* Yes, they chained a dog in a fully fenced yard.) I paid particular attention if i was dating someone... and was a little more persistent that they meet him close up. (he he... S.o. was a bit frightened of King, but he still listened to me and got involved. In S.O.'s defense King did have a rather deep bark when he wanted attention. It still warms my heart thinking about that. After that first week, every time S.O. came over he'd stop to pet King first.) It was rare that King ever bared his teeth or raised his hair at anyone. I can count the number of times on one hand. Each time we were in a situation where either i'm sure he saved us from danger or it was someone i knew and was a very bad person... and King could sense it despite my cordial mood.

...
Anyway, a woman from Adult Protective Services came out today to get the story from mom again. She informed us she was a cat person when our kitten Maggie immediately caught her eye. And we informed her that Maggie was a person cat. So Maggie was in Heaven. She got to sit in the woman's lap for about 20-25 minutes and get extra pampering. It was weird because the dogs didn't bark very much at her (usually they go crazy when someone they don't know drives up.) Even Lacy quieted down after a few minutes (which is odd because Lacy barks and barks and barks and barks) I guess she was an okay person. I usually rely on my dogs to tell me if people are okay or not. I know to some people that would sound funny but I'm sure some of you on here understand what I mean.

Karen

08-09-2007, 11:39 PM

To give you a smile, your dogs' reaction to the woman from CPS is a good sign. There's a woman way down the end of our street who has only lived there for about a year (and the house is on the market - she bought an old housed and fixed it up). We've never met, but I know her and her dogs by sight - she's a small Asian woman with short, permed blonde hair, and she's got a yorkie I've seen her walking many times, and a gorgeous red pittie - looks like a picture-book pittie - that sometimes hangs out on a long lead in the yard. I drove by one day and saw an unfamiliar man in the yard, but instantly noticed the pittie's tail was wagging a mile a minute - in fact most of the back half of the dog was wagging, so I figured the guy must be okay!

sumbirdy

08-11-2007, 01:53 PM

Well he's here again until next Saturday :D :D :D
But when we got him he had these horrible bumps all over him especially on his back (pics attached) We have no clue what they are. His back is the worst but he also has them on his neck and arms and a little on his tummy.
:(

But other than that he was SO happy to see us. He kept reaching his arms out for each one of us and when Stephanie tried to hold him again he wouldn't go to her. She gave us a list of instructions for his day. :rolleyes: Did she forget who raised him most of his life? We ended up trashing them. She is a control freak. She likes to control everything around her. She never once asked what his schedule was here. She didn't care if she screwed up his structured, safe life. She just wanted to have control over him. She's a sad excuse of a mother.

sumbirdy

08-11-2007, 03:55 PM

Does anyone know what the bumps could be?

Cinder & Smoke

08-11-2007, 04:35 PM

But when we got him he had these horrible bumps all over him
especially on his back (pics attached).
We have no clue what they are.

With NO mention of the marks or how they got there by his "mother"???
:confused:

I'd have had him in the ER so fast his little head would still be spinning!

SOMEBODY with medical knowledge needs to see those - and QUICKLY enough
that YOU CAN'T be blamed for inflicting them.

Get a diagnosis of WHAT they are; then go from there.

:eek:
**EDITED to correct "you can" to "YOU CAN'T" be blamed.

lizbud

08-11-2007, 04:49 PM

[QUOTE=Cinder & Smoke]With NO mention of the marks or how they got there by his "mother"???
:confused:With NO mention of the marks or how they got there by his "mother"???

I'd have had him in the ER so fast his little head would still be spinning!

SOMEBODY with medical knowledge needs to see those - and QUICKLY enough
that YOU CAN'T be blamed for inflicting them.

Get a diagnosis of WHAT they are; then go from there.

**EDITED to correct "you can" to "YOU CAN'T" be blamed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by Cinder & Smoke : Today at 06:10 PM.

Oh, I agree. Get the baby seen by a Doctor.

Grace

08-11-2007, 06:58 PM

Didn't he have bumps on his back last week, also?

ABSOLUTELY - take him to the ER or Urgent Care. Get this documented by a professional ASAP. Take the pictures with you.

Catty1

08-11-2007, 07:25 PM

To the doc - ER - please.

I know you saw the one doctor before about a few bumps. Now the doc should see they are WORSE.

So they bother Nathan? Are they itchy or painful when you touch him?

HUGS

sumbirdy

08-11-2007, 09:48 PM

Yes, they are itchy to him.

He had marks on him last week but they were not nearly as bad. We were shocked at how bad they were this time.

All she could say about it was that she didn't know what they were. What shocked me the most was she said they might me ants. How would you not know that ants were crawling all over your baby soon enough to get them off before they bit him?

Would tomorrow still be soon enough to take him to the ER? Actually I don't know if we would be able to go until Monday due to the need for gas money...
What if we got the nurse to come out again and look at them and possibly document them or something? Would that help?

Catty1

08-11-2007, 10:01 PM

sumbirdy

08-11-2007, 10:07 PM

Just confirmed-we can't do anything until Monday. :( But Monday we will. And the next time we go get him I'm sure they will be there again so as soon as we pick him up I'll tell mom and dad we should take him immediately to the ER.

I just don't see how she can talk about it so casually and say it could be from ants and then continue to set him in the grass. You would think that if a mother thought something was hurting her child and she had a way to stop it she would. :confused: And these bumps are making him miserable. He's never been itchy in his life until he went over there and started getting these. Poor baby. If I could take it all away, I would.

sumbirdy

08-11-2007, 10:14 PM

Phone the nurse and ask.

I am wondering if they are shingles? Caused by stress....but Nathan is WAAY too young to have those. :(

Hopefully the nurse would come out, and take photos. Would the CHS worker come out on a Sunday?

I know you took pics....try to use a macro setting and get as much of a close-up as you can.

HUGS!

Mom was thinking the exact same thing-shingles. When he comes over here they clear up withing a day or two and already the ones he has now are better. I can see why it would be stressful to live over there. While we were there today, Stephanie was screaming (and I mean screaming) at Charles' dog, Truck, and telling Charles she was going to beat his d*** dog. Mom went in their house and said that poor dog was hunkered down in a corner and when mom tried to get closer to him he snapped at her. :( Apparantly they got him from her friends because their kids beat him and all I could think was "Well, he didn't go into a better home." Every animal they get they end up getting rid of because "They got too big" or "They pooped in the floor" or "I just couldn't put up with them any more." I feel just as sorry for their animals as I do for Nathan when he has to be over there.

And we took up close pictures of them. (Although they are not great because Nathan wouldn't sit still) But you can really see them there. I would post them but they are on the other computer. I might see if I could do it tomorrow during Nathan's nap.

mrspunkysmom

08-11-2007, 10:22 PM

Jumping in here.

Do try to get a close-up of the bites. Don't forget that journal. Write down everything she said about those bites.

I can tell you that fire ants leave a brownish scar, but before that there is a small pustule that forms in the center of the bite. And that the bite hurts like hell. The bites can become infected. I don't know if these are fire ants, but sugar ants usually aren't vindictive. Fire ants are.

I find it difficult to believe that child services won't send someone out to see the child with those bites.

And child services is allowed to make surprise visits to her.

Karen

08-11-2007, 10:23 PM

Craftlady

08-11-2007, 10:42 PM

When adults get shingles they are very painful. Fever is also an issue you get pretty sick. I know in children they are chicken poxs. I've never heard them come out for a day or two then disappearing. Chicken poxs come out and mulitple and get scabby.

Poor dog.

sumbirdy

08-11-2007, 10:42 PM

He really needs to get the bumps diagnosed and treated. Has everyone (all the adults and you) in your family already had chicken pox, and measles vaccinations, and are you sure they aren't those? Poor itchy boy, but I wouldn't treat them without a diagnosis first, to be sure. Is there any fever?

We have all had the shots-and so has he. Chicken pox and measles are usually spread all over the body but his are generally on his back.
I've been looking up different kinds of bites and came across bed bugs. Could it be that? I asked mom if she thought it could be and she said it was possible because they don't put any sheets on Nathan's bed. And it makes sense then that they would be on his back and around his neck because he sleeps on his back.

I wish we could do something tomorrow and I'm beating myself up for not thinking about taking him to the ER as soon as we left their house. :( :(

mrspunkysmom-we have tried to ask DHS to go look at him the first time they told us he had these on him but the lady was very rude and told us that Stephanie had told them that she had taken Nathan to the doctor for it (and Charles told us she hadn't)

Grace

08-11-2007, 11:06 PM

I doubt very much it is shingles. That only shows up after Chicken Pox - has he had that? And usually many years after Chicken Pox - when you are old, not young.

Karen

08-11-2007, 11:06 PM

sumbirdy

08-12-2007, 12:26 PM

How could she not put sheets on Nathan's bed? That's just icky. Yuck. Poor Nathan, I hope he gets a clear diagnosis, and a good treatment plan. And if it IS bedbugs, that's her fault, and she needs to get rid of them NOW, even if it means replacing Nathan's mattress over there. Poor, poor itchy boy!

A baby's skin is so sensitive, hopefully whoever treats this will document everything. I still cannot fathom not sheets on a baby's bed!!!! So if a diaper leaks it'll just soak into the mattress?

My thoughts exactly.

I don't think it's chicken pox because, like I said, they're mainly on his back. Plus, he had stuff that looked like this last week (though not nearly as bad) and when we took him back they had all cleared up. And now that they had him again they're back and since we've had him they have cleared up a little. I didn't think chicken pox came and went like that.

Stephanie told mom that Nathan was going to like it more over there because they are going to take him to fun places and buy him stuff he will like more than what's over here. Sounds to me like she's just trying to buy him off. Yes, we intend on taking him to fun places and buying him fun toys (we want him to have fun) but we're also going to show him that we love him to the very best of our ability and I think that in the end that's what he's going to see.

sumbirdy

08-12-2007, 02:16 PM

I've attached a pic of Nathan's bumps and if you compare them to the other pics you can tell that they have gotten better.

Last night he slept all through the night. I woke up off and on all through the night expecting to hear him crying and had to get up and make sure he was breathing. I was so happy that he slept through the night and didn't wake up from any of those nightmares that he was having last week. Hopefully tonight will be the same. I woke up this morning to him laughing and playing. :)

sumbirdy

08-14-2007, 10:51 PM

Stephanie called today and asked what time Nathan was coming home tomorrow. Charles told us Saturday and she had a fit and said he told her Wednesday. Charles told her he forgot what he told us and that he promised us first. She threw a fit and called the cops on Charles (not sure what for.) She also said when she does get him back that we'll never see him again. But anyway, I'll leave out the other details for now and just say that Charles is now here with us and Nathan. I don't know if he is going to file for a divorce or not. Right now he's going through a hard time and I really do feel sorry for him because I know he does love her. I feel like crying for him. I know this is difficult for him but I also know this has to be done for Nathan's sake. I hate sometimes that have a strong tendency to feel what other people are feeling (or what I think they would be feeling) I just wished they he would have came to his senses sooner.

I don't know what will be done past today. Or tomorrow. I do know that Charles is looking for a temporary online job so he can get a car or whatever and get an actual (we live about an hour from any place he could work) so do any of you know any good sites?

Catty1

08-14-2007, 11:19 PM

What kind of work does Charles do? I think it might be worth a call to an employment agency, even if it is long distance, to ask about online work. Not all jobs can be done online...

If he could get his own phone number and phone, he could be a call-in for 'customer support' - a lot of those CS people are at home, but the company number is ported to their phone for the duration of the shift. Phone companies do this, so maybe they would train him?

Again, depends on what he likes to do and is good at. :)

sumbirdy

08-14-2007, 11:29 PM

Catty1

08-15-2007, 12:35 AM

Then I think he is best to call an employment agency, or find one online.

There are "online jobs", but a lot of them are scams. Employment agencies are listed in the Yellow Pages and most of them have email addresses or web addresses in the ads.

I hope he has a resume! :)

Grace

08-15-2007, 06:18 AM

Did you take Nathan to the doctor yet - about those bumps?

Pawsitive Thinking

08-15-2007, 06:22 AM

I doubt very much it is shingles. That only shows up after Chicken Pox - has he had that? And usually many years after Chicken Pox - when you are old, not young.

Not necessarily - Katie has managed to pack both into her 17 years :D

How are things progressing Summer? Has that awful Stephanie disappeared yet?? (we can but hope)

sumbirdy

08-16-2007, 08:57 AM

No she hasn't disappeared yet. I wish she would though. Charles is still here with us and him and dad are going to go get his stuff today. He's still not sure if he wants to leave Stephanie permanently though. I don't think he thinks he'll find anyone who wants a guy that already has a kid. I don't know what he's going to do.

Catty1

08-16-2007, 09:30 AM

I don't think he thinks he'll find anyone who wants a guy that already has a kid

Believe me, that should be the LAST thing on his mind. He has a lot of healing to do so he can choose a healthy partner next time. And a lot of single dads do really well.

I hope DHS has a lawyer or counsellor that can advise him of his rights. I think that once he is out of there for a while, it will start to hit him as to what he - and Nathan - have been living with.

Better a single dad than a dad and a really sick mom.

I hope everything goes okay when they get his stuff. As long as no one gets hurt, I hope she does something she can get arrested for!

And I hope Charles can help you get custody of Nathan - as he has been right there.

Hugs!

Grace

08-16-2007, 09:37 AM

I don't think he thinks he'll find anyone who wants a guy that already has a kid. I don't know what he's going to do.

It most certainly can happen. I was a single mom and found an absolutely wonderful man who was more than delighted to connect with me and my son. That was almost 30 years ago.

Problem is Charles is so young right now - it's hard to imagine life in the future.

sumbirdy

08-16-2007, 08:24 PM

Well, he went to get his stuff and found out that...she threw it all out. He also couldn't find anything of Nathans. This is how it went:

They came and at first she wasn't there. When she came up she said they better hurry or she would call the cops. (She took his name off of the lease) She told Charles that she was out all last night with another guy doing-ahem-I think you can guess. But she didn't use pleasant terms. Nathan has medicine that he is supposed to be taking and Charles tried to get it but she snatched it away from him and that really ticked him off (what kind of mother wouldn't want her baby to have his medicine?) Anyway we don't have the money for a lawyer to get them a divorce and Legal Aid won't take the case until October 15.
He said she didn't even mention Nathan. I wonder if that made him see that she never really cared about Nathan.
Anyway he said all of her stuff was gone too so I think she's staying over at her friends house (or her new guy friend, perhaps?)
I hate to see Charles hurting but I'm glad that he has come to his senses.
Charles called CPS last night or the night before last and told them all the stuff he has seen her do to Nathan (she would pop him in the mouth until his mouth bled and hang him upside down by his feet and shake him) and you know what they said? They said there is nothing they could do because their case is closed. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
But anyway, we can tell that Charles definetly needs help with Nathan. He told us that Nathan wasn't leaving this house until Charles got everything worked out and I think if wins in the custody battle and gets sole custody of Nathan (do you think that will happen?) then he is going to give my parents temporary guardianship. I hope this all works out and Stephanie becomes out of the picture for good.
Oh and one last thing I almost forgot. Charles told us that he recognized all the signs, and he thinks she is pregnant again. :(

Catty1

08-16-2007, 08:53 PM

They said there is nothing they could do because their case is closed.

Charles has not even filed his own charges yet. He will have to report all this anyway when he is filing for custody.

I hope he can get some good legal advice that won't cost him too much. Does DHS or CPS not have one?

IF Stephanie is pregnant again...I am so sorry to say this, but because of what she said, I wonder if Charles is the father?

Your brother is very brave - I know he is hurting a lot, and he wanted to believe the best - but he is being brave and putting Nathan and himself first.

HUGS and prayers to all of you. And Stephanie too...she sure needs them.

mrspunkysmom

08-16-2007, 11:01 PM

Oklahoma Legal Assistance (http://www.okbar.org/public/services/service.htm)

I hope this helps.

I searched for "Oklahoma Pro Bono Lawyers" and found the site.

It never hurts to ask.

Karen

08-16-2007, 11:40 PM

I hope she is permanently out of Charles' and Nathan's life. What he described her doing is abuse, and Nathan is just fortunate he has family that DOES care. Stephanie sounds like a very selfish person, and no one who should ever be a parent, at least not until she's had some serious training/counseling/head-examination done!

And he shouldn't worry one minute about not finding another girlfriend because of having a child. Some women find that no impediment at all, and Nathan at least is still little and cute - practically a "babe magnet" and will be for some time to come.

sumbirdy

08-17-2007, 09:55 AM

And he shouldn't worry one minute about not finding another girlfriend because of having a child. Some women find that no impediment at all, and Nathan at least is still little and cute - practically a "babe magnet" and will be for some time to come.

Yep, thats what I've been trying to tell him. But this time he needs to take things a bit slower and not rush into marriage right away like he did with Stephanie...

Catty1

08-17-2007, 10:05 AM

this time he needs to take things a bit slower and not rush into marriage right away like he did with Stephanie...

Absolutely! I hope he can visit with a counsellor and find out about "rebounding", that is, reattaching too fast when you're still getting over the last incident.

First - he needs a job and custody of Nathan. In fact, if he is getting 'parenting counselling', that will help his custody case.

Men reattach faster than women do! And this is REALLY unfair to the new girlfriend!

You might want to copy, paste and print the following out for your brother when he has time to look at it:

Defining a Rebound Relationship:

A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break – up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship.
Rebound Relationships Serve a Purpose:

A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.
Great Expectations:

Don’t go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another.

Catty1

08-17-2007, 10:07 AM

One more, Summer:

Persons are often distressed to learn that there should be a ‘time out’ from dating or future relationships when one relationship has ended. The rule of thumb is 6 months time-out for every 5 years of relationship. So if you were with someone (married or not) for 10 years that would suggest you take 1 year off from being in a relationship or dating. I get horrified reactions to that because most people think ‘just get your self back out there. The best way to get over someone is with someone else.’ Nothing could be further from the truth.

Many of my clients ended up in counseling with me because they did exactly that[went into a rebound relationship]. While still grieving from a previous relationship, they hooked up and made some bad choices in the selection of their next relationship which caused them even more problems and pain. When you are coming out of a relationship, you are in pain even if you aren’t acknowledging it, even if you wanted out of the relationship, even if you had planned for the ending of it. When we are in pain, we are not in our best decision-making mind. When issues of the previous relationship are not resolved, many people go on to choose someone just like the person in the relationship they ended.

sumbirdy

08-19-2007, 01:31 PM

Charles is doing odd jobs for the man down the road. Yesterday he helped him with some hay. He's going to save up his money to get a car so he can go out and get an acual job. I know he's still hurting and that is to be expected (it hasn't even been a week yet)

Nathan walked a few steps by himself today (or actually ran a few steps :p ) We noticed he could stand by himself for about 5 seconds so Charles let Nathan hold on to him while he walked a few steps and then I held my arms out to him and Charles let go and he ran the few steps to me. Nathan was smiling so big. :D It won't be long now before he's running all over the house and getting into even more stuff.
I'm so happy that he is home and you can tell that he is to.

Catty1

08-20-2007, 12:04 AM

This is so great - he is back with you, and his dad is there too!

Charles - poor guy, really...how fantastic that he has his family.

( I hope you-know-who doesn't start lies and try to get Nathan back! Of course, this time, Nathan's dad will stand up for him. :) )

HUGS!

chocolatepuppy

08-20-2007, 05:22 AM

I hope Charles stays away from that woman and Nathan stays safe with your family. You'll be in my prayers.

Pawsitive Thinking

08-20-2007, 08:40 AM

Its good that Nathan has his dad and is back in a safe and loving home. Good luck to you all :D

sumbirdy

08-20-2007, 10:04 PM

Thank you all. I'm so happy he is here to. And Charles will go to the local vocational school next Monday to do some kind of orientational training. Charles is doing a lot better than he was last week.
Charles will be filing for a divorce in October and will be fighting for sole custody of Nathan. I'm sure Charles has a good chance of getting it since Stephanie has such a bad record and violent history and Charles doesn't have a record at all.

sumbirdy

08-25-2007, 03:19 PM

Here's some recent pics of Nathan.
Left to right:

Nathan and Uno Uno loves Nathan.

Sitting on the swing

Looking like he's ready to pounce. :p

Swimming in the river with Pa Pa and Grandma

I'll upload some more later.

Sevaede

08-25-2007, 04:22 PM

Nathan really is such a cutie pie! :D He looks exactly like my cousin did when she was a tiny baby. :D

chocolatepuppy

08-25-2007, 05:10 PM

Nathan is such a cutie pie! :D

sumbirdy

08-26-2007, 01:36 PM

Here's some pool pics:

Nathan and Charles

Looks like he's ready to get into something :p :D

close up :cool:

"What's that on my ball?"

Splish Splash! :)

sumbirdy

09-09-2007, 09:08 PM

Haven't posted on here for a while. We realized that Nathan is allergic to some kinds of detergent and he got a bad rash so we switched to that all brand in the white bottle and it got better.

He can walk several steps by himself and it won't be long until he gets all around the house.

sumbirdy

09-25-2007, 04:20 PM

Well, here's another update. Nathan has to have tubes put in his ears Oct. 5 at a city that is 240 miles from us and we have to be there at 6 a.m. :eek:
His "mother" cancelled his Medicaid and his doctors appointment (but we sorted those things out) It's been about a month and a half and she's called, I think, twice. Once to try to say Charles called begging her to call him back and the second to say she canceled the Medicaid. On the second one dad told her that was ok because he already got it back and she just hung up on him.
I'm dreading this divorce thing because we don't have the money to fight for custody and Legal Aid will only do the custody thing if both parents are in agreement.

Anyway, Nathan is acting more like himself although he is starting to throw a lot of tantrums especially if he doesn't get something he wants. He's walking more every day but he prefers crawling. He still has the occasional nightmare but not nearly as often.
Everybody is at odds with Charles at the moment because he sleeps most of the day and only seems to want to take care of Nathan when its convenient for him (I hate to say it about my brother but he reminds me of Stephanie sometimes) He's trying to twist it all around and says that we "shove Nathan off on him when we don't want to take care of him" :mad: That's not true, we always want to take care of Nathan we just basically have to force him to be a dad. All he seems to want to do is make the rules. And then he gets mad when we don't follow them exactly. So I'm pretty ticked at him.

Here's some pics of Nathan