Need your advice...

[moosmom]

A co-worker is interested in adopting a cat or kitten. I told her that she'd be better off with an older cat, as kittens are very high strung. I told her I'd try and find her one. I called Catales, a rescue organization I'm a volunteer at. I had this one particular cat, Nelson, in mind, who I know would be perfect. He's a beautiful tuxie with the purr of a diesel engine and heart just as big. I told her if she gets a kitten, she'll have to have it spayed/neutered. She said that she couldn't afford that, and would have to make payments.

He's Feline Aids positive, and has been with us (rescue organization) for 3 years.

I've been giving this ALOT of thought. Barbara lives in a very bad section of Hartford. She can barely make ends meet as it is. If he gets out (he'd have to be strictly INDOORS ONLY!!) she'll definitely never see him again. If something should happen to him medically, she'd NEVER be able to afford it.

I know what it's like to be without a pet. It can get very lonely. Barbara has borrowed money from me before ($5 here, $10 there) and has always paid me back.

My main concern is Mason's well being. My heart tells me no, but my head tells me, well MAYBE.

Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

[jennielynn1970]

Ugh... that is a tough one. I mean, I understand her wanting to have a pet, but if she can't afford one, that's not fair for her or the pet.

What if you suggested she volunteer at the shelter you are at, and that way she can go there and pet all the kitties and get to know them and that way she can visit and feel loved and not have to worry about the money to have one??? Do they offer a fostering program where they'd pay for food and such??

I love my FIV+ guys (I hate saying Feline AIDS, that's so negative sounding). All the FIV guys i have at the moment are so healthy and sweet, you'd never htink they were carriers of the virus. I only had one guy who really was sick with the virus, that was my Bear. He passed away one year ago today. He was such a love, and a better cat could never be found. I think being in the shelter made the FIV worse because of stress and all the other viruses coming in.

Would she be able to foster him, and not have to have the financial responsibility attached?? If he's FIV+ he may be with her a long time until a family would want to adopt him, or maybe until she's more stable in the finances then she could afford to do so herself??

It's worth a shot at either option, really.

[Craftlady]

I have to say no due to fact you stated she is having trouble making ends meet for herself. The added cost of a pet it would appear put her in a big bind. When your having trouble taking care of yourself, a pet is not for someone in that circumstance.
It would be hard for her to be a responsible pet owner. Where's the money going to come for yearly shots, litter, food, emergancies?????
I would hate to see an aniamal in that type of situation where his/her well being is very questionable. It's not fair to the aniamal.

[jennielynn1970]

I have to say no due to fact you stated she is having trouble making ends meet for herself. The added cost of a pet it would appear put her in a big bind. When your having trouble taking care of yourself, a pet is not for someone in that circumstance.
It would be hard for her to be a responsible pet owner. Where's the money going to come for yearly shots, litter, food, emergancies?????
I would hate to see an aniamal in that type of situation where his/her well being is very questionable. It's not fair to the aniamal.

I agree, which is why I thought maybe fostering would be more for her?? If they could supply the food and litter, or whatever, and then they'd also take care of the shots etc... Especially for a special needs cat, that would be a great way to get a home of sorts out of the shelter. That's why I take FIV guys or other special needs kitties from the shelter... they'll never get adopted, and when they're in there for years, all because of a label, it's just not fair.

[catmandu]

That Is A Very Tough Question.
Is Nelson Better Off In That Shelter Or Being A Companion Cat With Someone Who Can Not Afford Him.
That Doesnt Sound As Though He Will Get Very Good Food Or Vet Check Ups.but He May Well Be Happier Being An Alpha Cat And Someones Friend.
Will She Love Him? Thats The Most Important Thing As She Can Always Get Sample Bags And Deals.

[jenluckenbach]

I think fostering is a GREAT option for someone who's finances are not the best. And an FIV+ cat is often a long-term foster (vs. a kitten that gets adopted very quickly) Or a senior cat. Or a shy cat.

She would have all the benefits of animal companionship with little of the financial burden.

I am SO hoping that she will consider this option.

[Pawla]

That is a hard situation. I can't imagine being without a cat. Could she maybe volunteer at a vets office to work off any medical bills Nelson might have? If she really wants him, she'll have to find a way. A lot of us don't always have the money, but I sure can find a way when I have to!

[jennielynn1970]

Is this the site of your shelter??
http://search.petfinder.com/shelterSearch/shelterSearch.cgi?animal=&breed=&age=&size=&specialNeeds=&declawedPets=&children=&status=&id=&internal=&contact=&name=&shelterid=CT104&sort=&preview=1

If so, you've got some sweet looking kitties in there! There are a bunch of kitties I'd be taking home as fosters! Hetzel, Janice, Chance, Torri and Mason look sweet!

[catnapper]

Toughie! We all know FIV+ isn't a death sentence but it is one where vet bills are to be expected. I'd say no. Then show her a healthy cat. My gut is saying female. My head is creaming if she gets a male she'll get one with chronic cystitis like Pouncer. She won't be able to afford that at all.

[jennielynn1970]

Toughie! We all know FIV+ isn't a death sentence but it is one where vet bills are to be expected. I'd say no. Then show her a healthy cat.

That's why fostering would be such a good choice! It would give her a companion and would give a special needs cat such a wonderful opportunity!

[Catty1]

Donna - do you think this lady would be good at keeping a kitty indoors?

[carole]

Donna whether you are part of it or not, she probably is going to get a cat regardless if her heart is set on it, it is whether you help her or not is the question, you just have to go with your instincts in this case I feel, probably a FIV pos. cat would not be her best option if there are going to be vet bills ongoing,and even though fostering is an excellent idea, not everyone is cut out for that.
Again just go with your inner feelings on this one, good luck, it is a tricky one for sure.

[moosmom]

I called her at work (she doesn't have a home phone as the phone company has shut it off for non-payment) and takes the bus to wherever she needs to go. I emphasized that a pet is a lifetime commitment. I asked her if she'd be able to afford it, should the cat get sick and she said yes. I just don't have a good feeling about this, as much as I like Barbara as a person.

She's going to have to get a pet on her own. If ANYTHING should happen to a pet I find for her, I'd never be able to live with myself. My gut instincts have never let me down yet.

[Pawla]

You should go with your gut instinct. I wish I could go with mine more often!

[Medusa]

Your instincts are telling you 'no'. She has no phone so if she runs into a snag w/Nelson, then there's the first problem. This is not a tough question for me. It's one thing to already have pets, then run into financial problems. I'd never consider giving up my furkids. But to take on more of a financial burden is unwise and unfair to Nelson. It's rehoming just waiting to happen. And if he's already at a shelter, then he's been through enough. We can't always let our hearts rule. Sometimes we have to use our heads. And this is one of those times, in my opinion.

[Catty1]

Have you asked her how she can afford a pet if she can't afford her phone?

She might be thinking more of her comfort and happiness than that of the cat's - and if that is the case, it's not a good balance.

JMO

[Medusa]

Y'know, after having read over my last post, I realized how smug I sounded when I said that I'd never consider giving up my furkids if I had financial problems, even though that isn't the question that you posed on this thread. I guess maybe I would consider it if it meant that I had no other choice and my cats would suffer the consequences if I kept them. I hope I didn't offend anyone w/that remark. We do what we have to sometimes, not what we want to.

[columbine]

If she took on Nelson and then he turned out to need lots of expensive care that she couldn't afford, her heart would be broken. I very much agree with the fostering option!

Love, Columbine

[rkidsrcats]

The Tribe agrees that fostering would be a good route for her. And the plus of her fostering is that she would be helping 2 cats...the one she fosters and the one she makes room for in the shelter when her foster comes to her house.

just our humble opinion....
The Tribe

[moosmom]

I asked a couple of supervisors at work (privately) and BOTH of them said that she has enough trouble caring for herself, let alone a pet. So, the answer is no. I'd never forgive myself if something should happen to a pet I helped her get.

[Catsnclay]

Good call, Donna!

[carole]

Glad you did some asking around and stuck with your inner gut feelings, sad though as she probably will get a pet anyhow,whether you help her or not,let us hope she goes off the idea eh?

[catlady1945]

As much as she would like a cat, I don't think it would be a good idea. It is a big commitment. We have had vet's bills of $600 at a time for all 3 of ours. If she can't pay her phone bill, how can she look after an animal? This is how cats end up abandoned. I would advise her to foster. Then she is doing a good thing and has a companion.

[Callie]

She rides the bus to go wherever? To my knowledge, buses usually do not allow pets on board unless they're handicapped assistants. How would she transport a sick animal to the vets, assuming she could get vet care?

While I understand her needs, love isn't as much about your (her, in this case) needs as it is about caring for another and their needs. No cat needs to be in a place/home that cannot be depended upon to really care for the cat when it's called for.

If she truly desires to have a cat, then let this desire be the motivator for her to improve her financial circumstances in whatever way she can to make her dream come true.

Callie

[moosmom]

I told her that in order to adopt a cat, she'll have to fill out an application and, since she's had a cat in the past, will also need to provide a vet reference. She was a little annoyed at that. I also asked her if the cat gets sick in the middle of the night, how will she get it to the vet. She said she'd call a friend. She is bound and determine to get a cat. Having said that, I told her I'd take her to the CT Humane Society. They're adoption process is strict and I can tell you right now, if she can't produce the referencec they require, the will not adopt to her. I'm friends with the director of cat adoptions there and will call her and give her a heads up. I don't know what else I can do at this point. I just feel in my gut that it wouldn't be in the best interest of the animal.

[Catty1]

Well, at least if you let her try, she will find out. And perhaps someone can direct her to a life skills course (if she needs that) or a way to increase her income a bit.

That would give her a hand UP - and if she really wants a cat, might be the inspiration to motivate her.

EG "If you really want a cat, this is what you could do to increase your chances..." something like that.

But I don't know her, so...

I hope all works out!

[jennielynn1970]

Has she said what she'd do if the cat became sick and needed vet care? How she'd afford the vet care, and NOT have it PTS because she can't actually afford the cat?? Is she able to understand that she needs to do what is best for the pet and not what is best for herself???

Would either place allow her to foster a cat?? I think that is a good alternative.

Can you at least let her know that if she cannot take care of a pet, and it gets sick, it will suffer, and if she really cares about the pet, she won't get one till she can afford one??? Not that you lecture her, because I think that would make someone want to do the opposite even more... that's just the way a lot of people are.

Can you really try to drive home the option to foster, with her and with the shelter?? That would benefit them both.

[moosmom]

JennLibrarian,

Personally, I think she's got her mind set to get a cat at any cost. I'm hoping that my friend Kitty will try and let her down gently. Best if she hears it from her than me.

[carole]

Donna you can only do your best my friend, to guide her the right way, it sounds like she is determined at any cost to get a cat, so your hands are tied,honestly she can get one free i am sure in the papers if she really wanted, let us all hope that going to the shelter,puts her off and if she cannot be bothered with the red tape, she just might go off the idea, but then as i pointed out if she is determined enough there are other avenues she can try.

Some people just don't get it, they put their own selfish needs first without really thinking of the animals needs, i hope this story has a happy ending, but somehow i doubt it, just don't feel bad,you have done your best.