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wombat2u2004
06-29-2007, 09:02 PM
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the woman and a senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: The officer told me that you stole this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: The officer claims that you do not have a driver's license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: I must admit, ma'am, that I'm confused; the officer told me
you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner.
Woman: I suppose the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

moosmom
06-29-2007, 09:31 PM
Wom,

WHERE do you find these things?? ROFLMAO!

joycenalex
06-29-2007, 10:50 PM
wom, you have no idea how many f your jokes i've stolen, thanks soooo much :D

Riptide
06-29-2007, 10:53 PM
LOL that is absolutely hilarious!

sweetpatata6
06-30-2007, 08:14 AM
hehe

Pam
06-30-2007, 10:01 AM
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/4.gif

Oh Wom!!

pitc9
06-30-2007, 10:17 AM
*remind to self*
Print that out and leave it above sun visor in car incase I'm pulled over.
:p

That was great!!!

Miss Z
07-01-2007, 03:55 PM
Oh gawd, that was MY plan for when I'll be able to drive. Guess my secret's available to all now. :p :D

lizbud
07-01-2007, 06:04 PM
I've heard this one before, but it's still funny. :D