Rufus' time..

[slleipnir]

We had our appointment for Rufus to get his blood work today. At the end, we decided not to bother with bloodwork because I think its time to say goodbye. Ruf pee'd on the floor 2 times in the room, and he had a bowel movement on the way out of my moms car. We had planned to just get blood work to see if he had any problems, but the vet said "I can't tell you when to put him down, thats your own disicion, but maybe you should be looking at his lifestyle and not so much looking for how much pain he is in. I had to put my dog down in the winter because she lost her dignity by loosing her ability to control her bowels, also, she had no interest to do anything really, it wasn't much of a life for her compaired to her younger years when she was so full of energy" I looked a Ruf, and its the exact same thing. I looked at how he lives, and how it can't be too fun for him. He can't go for walks, for he gets too tired. He sleeps all day, and how does he feel about having accidents on the floor when all his life he knew he couldn't? Most of the time hes locked in the kitchen so he doesn't poor or pee on the hard wood floor (my dad doesn't want it to get ruined I guess..) His leg was shaking non stop almost, and the vet said she thinks it had something to do with a spinal thing..like spinal arthrites or something. I was in tears when I was talking to her. I thought I was going to have to leave because I didn't want to cry in front of the vet. Rufus has been having problems getting up and down, and buffern doesn't seem to be doing to much. He will go to lay down, and (you know the play position? Like when dogs want to play, the bow kinda?) he would do the bow thing when trying to lay down, but he couldn't seem to get his rear down for a few mins. He licks the skin right off his paws too, I guess its a sign of sore limbs? Anyway, I know this is mean, but in a way I didn't want to lose him because I knew I'd want a new pup after him, and I didn't want people to think I only put him down so I could get a new dog. (I mean, thats definitly not the reason I haven't put him down yet, but its kinda on the side of my mind) I've wanted a pup for a long time now, and I do plan on getting one after I don't feel so bad about Rufus.....I just can't help thinking that, I guess it's stupid. It feels like there is a big ball of stuff stuck in my throat...I'm so confused, and I guess this isn't the kind of post ya'll like to read, but I really don't have anyone I can talk to that knows how I feel. All my friends still have their 1st pets..I still have to talk to my bro..its his disicion too. I don't think he wants to go with my way, but I think its better for Rufus. I'm at my moms right now, and shes at work, so I'm here alone. I don't even have my little girl to help make me feel better. I don't know if I can go to the vets with him, I know I'll start to cry..I know there is nothing wrong with that, but I duno. I don't like to do that infront of people. I've known Rufy my whole life as far back as I remember, and I love him sooo much. He is the sweetest, gentlest, caring friend anyone could ever want. I could never want anything more.

I just told a friend, and I looked at the "we have to put rufus down thing" and I guess it just sunk in..I'm a cry baby I guess. I know I should just be happy he won't be in pain, and he'll be happy at rainbow bridge..but I'll miss him so much...Rufus, I love you from the bottom and absolutly every part of my heart. I guess I should go and stop blabbering. Thanks for listening.

[anna_66]

I'm sorry about you dilema, I can't imagine having to make that decision about Angus, or for that matter either of the other two. We had to put down 2 poodles we had when we were first married because of the bowel thing also (they were both very old). It is so very had having to make that decision, I'm sure you'll know when the time is right. Just remember, we'll always be here for you:)
Anna

[Gio]

There is not much I can say just that I do understand how you feel having gone through it all myself.

I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you and I'm here if you need me.

[twirlbird]

God its hard to know what to say, but Audrey i know youll do the right thing. For some reason all i think of now is when *at the old house* you told me ruf wasnt allowed down the stairs, and he would just wait there patiently for you to come up. Ruf you will be missed

[slleipnir]

Thanks people, and Caitlin..I remember that..he is such a sweety. I've made the disicion to put him to sleep, I just don't know about my brother. I have Josie to help me through it, shes my little girl, you know? I'm sure some of you know that having another dog makes it a little better, cause they kinda comfort you. Rufus is that for my brother I think, even though he doesn't say it. Ruf is more like his dog, and he doesn't have that attachment with Jo. He likes her, thats about it. So, I think thats why its harder for him cause he's known him longer then me I suppose, seeing he remembers him as a pup, and I don't. He told me how small he was when we 1st got him, and how there was a hole under our sink he got stuck and when he finally got out, he ran over and back my bro a lick on the face. We don't have any pics of him as a pup, but I can just imagen how cute he must have been. I can picture a tiny black and white dog, with little springy ears..

[ramanth]

Audrey, it's okay to cry. You're not a cry baby. Just someone that is having to make a difficult decision. But for Rufus' sake, I feel deep down in my heart that you are making the right one for him.

And I don't think you are blabbering at all. When I lost my cat Nike, I wailed like a person possessed, and I didn't care what people thought of me. It hurts to lose someone you love.

My thoughts are prayers go out to you and your family.

[Dixieland Dancer]

Audrey, I feel for you. I personally know how hard it is to make that decision. Perhaps you should let your brother be the one to realize it is time though since he is the one who is more attached. You have Jo and she is a great joy. Your brother needs to work on this in his time and he will. Just be patient. I am sure he doesn't want to see Rufus suffer any more either.

When ever you both decide, if you can be with Rufus it may help in saying goodbye. Just don't look into his eyes. That is the hardest part. You will cry and no person in their right mind would think of you as a cry baby. Especially the vet who has probably seen many people crying over the years. It is losing a family member and it hurts and tears are to be expected. I have tears and I have never met Rufus but the struggle you are going through brings back memories of making that decision for my Golden Girl Taffey.

We are here for you.

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Audrey, your post has broken my heart. I am saddened to read about Rufus' pain and yours. It is OK to cry.

You must consider Rufus' quality of life and his suffering. I know such a desicion is very tough to make, but in some situations, we have to think of our furbabies. Letting them go is a very unselfish thing to do. You put their interest and wanting to relieve their pain before your need for them.

My uncle had to put his Great Dane, Mariah, down last Christmas and him and his wife insisted on being with her as they let her go. They held on to her to the end and they said it helps alot.

If you are worried about crying in front of your vet don't. Your vet probably cried when his dog crossed over to RB. Sometimes, crying helps. I know Josie will too.

Rufus will always be with you in your thoughts. He will live on in your memory.

Good Luck with your decision.

[slleipnir]

Thanks for your comments.

[Logan]

Audrey, it took a very special friend to help me realize when my Kaycee had been through enough. She had so many of the same problems that you describe. I literally had to carry her outside to potty, and she had many, many accidents in the house, both kinds. I never have regretted my decision, although it was one of the hardest I have ever made. I stayed right there with that sweet girl until she was gone. They gave her a shot to make her go to sleep, and I sat there and held her, and loved her for as long as I wanted. The final shot was quick, painless, and her little eyes weren't even open. She was truly asleep.

Depending on his age, your brother may not understand, and it might take the support of other family members to realize what needs to happen for Rufus. Just love him and give him the dignity that he deserves. He has brought you so much happiness through the years, and you have done the same for him.

Please know that we are here for love and support. :(

[slleipnir]

Thanks Logan. I know what the euthanol is like, ive seen a lot of animals put to sleep when I was at the clinic. Not such a happy thing. The thing I don't like, is that they throw em in a bag, and just toss them in the freezer after their dead..like I know he'd be dead but for some reason I don't like it.

Also, my bro is 21, I guess I didn't explain too well. He doesn't say what he feels, he goes on like he doesn't care to much. But I kinda feel that he feels that way. I can tell he loves him, and doesn't want to see him go. I don't either.

[Albea]

Audrey: anybody who had to make that decision about a beloved pet, including myself, knows how you feel. But it comes a time when, because we love them so much, we have to let them go to a place were there's no more pain and suffering. One day we will see them again at the other end of Rainbow Bridge.Don't be afraid of crying in front of the vet, he will understand and, as Souraya said, he probably also cried when he had to let his own dog go.
Whatever you decide, we'll be thinking of you and sharing your grief.

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Audrey, I know what you mean about throwing them away in a bag. When My uncle's Mariah was PTS, they had her creamated and sprinkled some of her ashes underneath her favorite tree were she would lay in the afternoons. The rest of the ashes are in an urn in their home. Perhaps you could do so for Rufus, or ask to have him burried in a special spot.

[slleipnir]

I was hoping I could do that, my dad thinks its stupid though :[

[Logan]

Just remember, Audrey, and I truly believe this, that once a human or an animal dies, their soul leaves that tired body and becomes whole. I didn't bring Kaycee home with me. I didn't have her cremated either. I just asked the vet to please take care of her. It didn't matter at that point, although I know many who have buried their loved animals in their yards or had them cremated. At that point, I couldn't have handled it by myself. Her little soul had already headed to Heaven. That's what I believe. I have believed it about loved ones (human) and about my animals that have left me. :) Take heart that whatever you end up doing with Rufus, he will be right there, like Alicia said so beautifully, at the Rainbow Bridge (Heaven), healthy and happy, and waiting for you to arrive one day long in the future.

Logan

[lovemymaltese]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are not a cry baby. You cry because you love your pets (children) so much.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by Logan
Just remember, Audrey, and I truly believe this, that once a human or an animal dies, their soul leaves that tired body and becomes whole. I didn't bring Kaycee home with me. I didn't have her cremated either. I just asked the vet to please take care of her. It didn't matter at that point.Logan Logan, that's exactly they way I feel about it. I have to have the vet take care of my dear ones too. I always feel they are at the Rainbow Bridge before I even get to my car. Prayers are with you, Audrey.

[slleipnir]

Logan: Thanks, that does help a lot.

[Logan]

Sweet Audrey, I have you on my heart today. You just do what you have to do, and know I am here in support, no matter what. I just wish I were closer to console you. :(

[sammi]

I am so sorry for you. I have gone through making that decision and it is hard to do but you don't want your dog to suffer. Don't be afraid to cry either - its better than holding it all in. Some people have a hard time showing their real feelings esp. guys sometimes - but that dosen't mean they are not really hurting. They only freeze the remains to preserve the body (like humans). Our first dog passed away at the vets and I was quite upset when I realized this (we picked her up and took her home to bury her). Our last girl Sam we had put to sleep and she looked so relaxed when it was over that I knew she was finally free of pain and suffering. We had her cremated and her ashes were spread out in a field. We are here for you for what ever you decide.

[Cincy'sMom]

As everyone else has said it is okay to cry. I'm in tears just thinking of the decision you have to make. Although I have not experienced it myself, my first dog is now almost 13 and slowing down...I know the decison with her may not be too far off...As hard as it will be to say goodbye to Rufus when he times comes, he will be running happily at RB and you will see him again! And in the meantime...although no dog will ever replace him, there will be many other dogs in your life for you to love and cherish the way you do Rufus now.

We will be thinking of you.

[tatsxxx11]

Dear Audrey. I send to you all of my love, strength and support. I have kept you and Rufus in my mind and heart all day. Though I have to admit the tears keep coming. This is a decision that only you can make after a lot of soul searching. It takes a lot of courageous love, the deepest, most selfless type of love, to help our beloved friends be at peace. Whatever your decision, please know that you have so very many caring friends here to support you and listen to you and cry with you. I wish I could see you and talk to you and hug you. Just know that I am with you in spirit, as a friend and as a fellow Furmom. Love, Sandra

[Pam]

This is one of the most beautiful things about Pet Talk. We have a place to come and share these deep sorrows with others who we know will understand. I remember when my last poodle went to the RB and I went into work the next day. I felt like an alien. No one at my office at that time even had a pet and couldn't possibly understand the feelings I had. Most of us here I think have gone through what you are facing and we know the pain. Please do not be afraid to cry in front of the vet. He/or she has seen the death of a pet countless times and would totally understand and not expect you to "be brave." Go ahead and cry! I sure did! When you need someone to lean on, please remember us, your friends at Pet Talk. You are in my thoughts and I am so sorry that you are going through this.

[slleipnir]

Again, thank you all. I agree with you pam, having PT to go to with people that truely care and understand is something very good to have. My bro still doesn't like the idea of making the dicision, and doesn't want to put him down. I guess he sounded pretty upset. Also, I guess the choice is left to me. We're going to have this weekend to say goodbye, and make his final days here as happy as I can.

The vet today was very nice. She sat with us and talked to us about making the hard choice. She truely seemed to understand and totally care about what we we're going through. I'm glad they're so many nice people in this world, expessially you all at PT. I just wanted to thank you all.

[wolf_Q]

:( I'm so sorry about Rufus. I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. Smokey is 16 years old. He drinks water constantly, and pees all over. I know he just can't help it. He also coughs a lot. My mom and I know he won't be around much longer. We just hope one day we'll go to wake him up and he will already be gone. I don't know how to face putting him to sleep. :(

[slleipnir]

Amy, I'm sorry. I wish Ruf would go in his sleep when hes ready too. Its so hard to do...and I'm not sure what I'll do when hes gone. We've decided for Monday though. I'll be home all weekend and I'm going to make life and good as I can for him.

[Stenograsaurus]

Audrey, I am so sorry you're going through this. I know you've been struggling with this for a long time. When you do go Monday, DON'T BE AFRAID TO CRY!!!!!! When I had to have my cat put to sleep, it was the second time I had seen that Vet and I was sobbing. I was crying so hard, I could hardly breathe. But the Vet was very compassionate. They know how much these animals mean to us and how hard it is to lose them, as do the staff. No-one will think less of you. There is a considerable amount of pain involved when you lose a loved one and anyone who works in a Vet's Office will understand that. We are all here for you and I know that I am crying with you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[slleipnir]

Its not so much i'm affraid to cry, or i'm affraid someone will think badly of me, its just I don't feel comfortable doing it in front of people I guess. I'm weird that way lol. I don't think I'll care with Ruf though, I just want to be with him..I'll just be a little scared.

My bro still can't accept it. He doesn't want to agree to anything, and he doesn't want to do it monday. He thinks hes happy and hes trying to live. I thought that too, but now to me, he just looks like he's in pain. I wish my bro would just think about Rufus, and not about how much he's going to miss him. It might be selfish of me, but I don't want him to suffer, and he doesn't have much of a life, he doesn't do anything. My bro is making this a lot harder, cause everytime he says it, I feel worse, like I'm killing him or something..

[mruffruff]

I truly understand how you feel, Audrey. It's a difficult decision but sometimes the only compassionate one. Your brother will eventually understand.

I had to pts a perfectly healthy 5 year old dog a few years ago. The vet left me alone with her to say goodbye after giving her a relaxing shot. A little later he and slipped in quietly and gave her the final shot. I cried a lot and I don't cry easily.

I had the remains cremated and scattered across the woods. I got a nice card from the place that did it.

I believe as Logan does, that the soul is gone before we hit the parking lot.

And you can't do more for Rufus than release him from his pain.

Mary

[shais_mom]

You have my sympathy in your time of heartache. I know how hard it is to loose your best friend as many of us do. It never gets easier.
Take care and God Bless!

[slleipnir]

Thanks. My bro can't seem to make his dicision, which makes it harder for me. He can't look at Ruf in a non emotional way I guess..Like, he looks at how much hes attached and not how much it might be good for Ruf. So, I duno what to say. I guess it's just up to me..


I had to pts a perfectly healthy 5 year old dog a few years ago. The vet left me alone with her to say goodbye after giving her a relaxing shot. A little later he and slipped in quietly and gave her the final shot. I cried a lot and I don't cry easily.

I'm sorry to ask, I have a big mouth I guess, but why did you have to put the dog down?? I'm sorry if I'm rude by asking..

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Oh, Audrey, I'm sooo sorry. :( :(http://www.westwoodi.net/~smilies/contrib/sarge/Sad_anim.gif I know how you feel. I lost my Teal, too. I'll keep you, Rufus, and your family, in my thoughts, and prayers.

[Albea]

Audrey, I don't know if this will help you, not much will under the circumstances, but still I wanted to let you know how I dealt with the passing of my first two Goldens. When I had to let Natasha go, her breast cancer had spread in spite of surgery and chemo, I was just too depressed to even think what to do. When I was coherent again, I planted a flowering shrub in her memory in the backyard she loved so much. Irina, my second Golden, died very young, at 6 and a half, due to an auto-immune disease. I have her ashes in a marble urn, inside a two-tier planter that has always flowers in the summer. I found that looking at the colors of the flowers reminds me of all the great times we had together.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

[Sudilar]

My heart goes out to you and your brother. http://www.plauder-smilies.de/sad/bluecry.gif

[mruffruff]

Audrey, it isn't a rude question to ask why I had to put a perfectly healthy dog down.

Rusty was pts because she had bitten two people and could no longer be trusted, even around my granddaughter. She would strike without warning, almost like a seizure. The vet thought she may have developed a brain tumor. I couldn't risk a lawsuit or possible injury to myself or family.

Mary

[ChrisAK]

...grieve not,
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if i were beside you...
i loved you so--
'twas heaven here with you
~isla paschal richardson


((((((HUGS)))))))

[aly]

Audrey,

You are in my thoughts today. Be strong for Rufus, but when he is gone, let the tears come. Don't hold anything inside. You gave Rufus a very loving life and it is time to let go, but he will be waiting for you to cover you with kisses once again.

I have never had to make the decision to put an animal down. Mine have gone in their sleep. I am terrified of having to make that decision one day. You are being so brave about it and I hope that I can handle it with as much grace and dignity as you have.

I had my Dessi cremated and spread her ashes (along with some pink roses) in a lake nearby my house. I used to walk her to that lake all the time and she'd run with the ducks. Doing that helped me get closure.

Another thing that helped is I had my Shiloh to lean on for comfort. She was still in her goofy adolescent stage and kept my family laughing and smiling during the difficult time. I know Josie will do the same for you. Seek comfort from her and don't be afraid to show your emotions.

I hope you are doing okay right now. I know this day will be so hard. You and your family are in my prayers.

[AdoreMyDogs]

I wish you peace, comfort, and friendship during this most difficult time. Just a few years ago I had to make that decision for the first time in my life ever. My precious Beener was terminal, although he was not yet in too much pain. I decided to put him to rest before he showed signs of too much pain. It was so hard but it was also something that I am glad that I did because he was a good boy and a gentle, kind, loving soul. He didn't deserve to suffer.

I think you made such a brave, mature decision. You have listened to Rufus without words and I think you are very brave.

Peace and comfort to you during this difficult time. I am crying at the feelings you must be feeling tonight. Please don't be afraid to cry. Ever.

Love,

Leslie

[CountryWolf07]

Hey.. I am so sorry to hear about that.. I know Rufus will be in a better place. He'll be healthy and will be able to do everything he could do when he was young. I KNOW, KNOW how you feel! I had to put down my first dog, I had him for 17 years. I didn't want to, but I knew we had to do this... It really broke my heart when Benny was gone that day. I know he's happy now, running around with my grandma up there :) I'll keep you in my prayers - Rachel

[slleipnir]

Thanks everyone. Your kind words really do help.