I did something a little out of the ordinary today...

[moosmom]

Background:

My Dad passed away 10 years ago this August 18th. I found his body. He had been dead for 3 days and was crouched on his knees, head on the carpet and the telephone clutched in his hand. (sorry to be so graphic) To this day, I have always wondered "what if" he was trying to call me for help?? It's something that has haunted me all this time.

I was at my best friend's house yesterday and mentioned it to her. She suggested calling the phone company and asking them to look it up.

I did. The woman on the phone was very nice. She explained that they can't do it, that they don't keep track of everyday local calls, only long distance calls.

:( :( Oh well. I THOUGHT it would give me a little closure after all this time.

Was that a dumb thing to do???

[ramanth]

I don't think it was a dumb thing to do. *HUGS*

[Taz_Zoee]

Not at all! I would wonder myself as well. It's too bad the phone company couldn't help. :(

[gini]

Donna, not at all. How would you ever know whether they could track the call or not unless you asked.

[Lori Jordan]

No Donna it is not Dumb,Same kind of situation i was in with my Grandfather,We all need closer.

[Catlady711]

I don't think it was a dumb thing to do at all. Sorry that you had to go thru that with your dad.

As a off the wall suggestion, if by some fluke anyone happens to have any of his old utility bills the calls might show up there. Just a thought.

[pitc9]

{hugs} to you.

I don't think it was dumb at all.

[luckies4me]

I agree with all the others. I would have wanted to know myself.

[Randi]

Donna, I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I can understand you wanted to know, I would have too. I'm not sure, but from your description of what happened, it seems that your father didn't get to make any calls. :( If he managed to take the reciever off the hook, wouldn't the telephone company have known something was wrong and then contacted the police?

I'm thankful I was here when John died, had I been out, I would never have forgiven myself or stopped thinking what had happened.

At least, I hope it is a comfort for you that your father went quickly and didn't suffer.

((((hugs))))

[moosmom]

It's hard, even now after 10 years. I smelled cigar smoke the other day. I knew he was around me someplace!! ;)

I dragged a huge box of his personal stuff to Michigan with me. I was afraid someone would take it and steal is identify. Even my brother said, "Donna, he's f-ing dead, let it go!!" I was pretty shocked but dragged the box all over anyway. Besides, even if I COULD find a copy of his telephone bill the last week of his life,

Oh well, just one more unanswered question. :(

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I don't think it was a dumb thing to do - How do you feel about psychics/mediums? A reputable one might be able to contact your dad and give you some peace of mind

[angelbow20]

I have been to a medium before and it explained alot and made me feel alot better, you should really think about going to one and finding out that way. I Know I found out alot of interesting things that now make alot of sense.

[elizabethann]

I don't think it was dumb. I would have done the same thing.

I'm so sorry you had to find your Dad like that. I'm sending you a virtual hug.

[caseysmom]

Donna, I found my mom like that also, it was very upsetting. My mother had died within an hour or so of me arriving and 911 had me try to give her mouth to mouth, that still haunts me. It is really had to be the one to find a loved one. Hugs to you.

[moosmom]

Brody's Mom,

I had a one hour session with a medium, and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and salute!!

I had never met this woman before. She's renowned and it takes years to get an appointment. The cost is $100. My friend made arrangements for she and I to speak over the phone.

There were ALOT of things she said that no on else knew. I wrote it all down and kept reading it over and over again. I was totally blown away. The whole time she was speaking, I kept a monotone voice and just said uh-huh or yes. To be honest, I never thought to bring the subject of the telephone up.

It would be way too long to tell you some of the things. But I will say that I truly believe in that kind of stuff.

I just wish I could know who he was calling, :(

[cyber-sibes]

Donna, if you're looking for closure, you could do some theraputic role-playing. It isn't at all dumb or silly, it's a way to allow healing to take place.

Utilize your imagination & have that phone call with your dad. Say what you need to say, listen to what your heart tells you he is saying. Do this in a quiet setting where you won't be disturbed. Cry, shout, plead, moan, do whatever you have to. Imagine settling all the unsaid business between you. Bless him on his journey, and allow him to go in peace.

I think that we have to let go here in order for them to move on, too. I had a lot of healing work to do when my dad passed away, we were never on good terms while he was alive. I can honestly say that I no longer carry that heavy burden of guilt & remorse. I know he's exactly where he should be, as am I.

((hugs)) :)

[Sevaede]

No, it was not dumb at all. :( **HUG**

[cassiesmom]

One of my strangest experiences ever happened when my grandmother died. I guess it was a dream, or some kind of a vision. She had been under hospice care and not conscious for the past few days. I distinctly remember hearing and seeing her tell me, "I haven't had anything to eat or drink for a few days, but I'm all right now." The next thing I remember after that is the phone ringing, my sister calling to let me know my grandmother had died. That was in 2001, she died a few months short of her 90th birthday. Since then I have dreamed about her a number of times but nothing like that. The cemetery where both of my grandmothers are buried isn't too far from where I live, so I'll be heading over there since it will be Mother's Day next week.

Moosmom, I hope you have happy memories of your father. I hope your smelling cigar smoke and knowing he was around was a good thing. I don't think it was a dumb thing for you to have done, and I'm sorry you can't get better answers. ---big hug---

[moosmom]

Cyber-Sibes,

After my Dad died, I wrote him a long letter and sealed it. That was 10 years ago. I don't know what I ever did with it and would LOVE to see where my mind was at at that period in my life.

I thought about doing something like you suggested. I'm going to mention it to my therapist on my next appointment.

Tomorrow is going to be tough, as I'm sure it will be for lots of people who don't have their Moms to celebrate Mother's Day with. My emotions right now are all over the map. Of course that COULD be because I'm outta my medicine and the pharmacies are now closed. *sigh*

Cassiesmom,

I have alot of memories of my Dad, growing up and hanging out at Bolton Lake. Sometimes when I see someone we both knew or hear something, I want SO much to pick up the phone and tell him. :(

[Catty1]

Donna {{{hugs}}}

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=127076