ILoveMyAbbyGirl
04-29-2007, 08:08 PM
Please don't judge me.
Friday night, we had a party. It consisted of me, my friend Madi, my other friend Anne, her boyfriend Dennis and this guy I've met before named Jay. Jay is 26, Dennis is 21 and the rest of us are 18.
Long story short, there was some drinking, and although I only had two, both Jay and I got a bit tipsy, cuddly and ended up sleeping together. He held my hand a few times, and it was all a blur until I woke up the next morning.
He did nothing to me, it's just the fact that I slept in the same bed with him that bothers me. I don't want him to get the wrong idea (or you guys for that matter) because I don't want to date him. He wants to date me, but he's just not the person for me.
I've never had to turn anyone down before. I don't even know how to go about it without hurting his feelings or making it seem like I was leading him on (which I suppose I was, but I couldn't help it). I'm just so stuck in this dilemma. He's so sweet to me, but I don't feel much when I'm with him. He's not the one I want and I feel like I'm settling for someone until I find someone better. I don't want to have to settle.
Yes, I know, I shouldn't have been drinking. Friday was an awful day. My mother snapped again and called me crying and saying she wasn't going to make it. For a day, we were sure she was going to try and overdose on Tylenol PM. The same night, Butch called me telling me he thought he'd had a heart attack and he needed me to help him get his car started (long story).
Please don't think I'm a bad person. People make mistakes sometimes, right?
Friday night, we had a party. It consisted of me, my friend Madi, my other friend Anne, her boyfriend Dennis and this guy I've met before named Jay. Jay is 26, Dennis is 21 and the rest of us are 18.
Long story short, there was some drinking, and although I only had two, both Jay and I got a bit tipsy, cuddly and ended up sleeping together. He held my hand a few times, and it was all a blur until I woke up the next morning.
He did nothing to me, it's just the fact that I slept in the same bed with him that bothers me. I don't want him to get the wrong idea (or you guys for that matter) because I don't want to date him. He wants to date me, but he's just not the person for me.
I've never had to turn anyone down before. I don't even know how to go about it without hurting his feelings or making it seem like I was leading him on (which I suppose I was, but I couldn't help it). I'm just so stuck in this dilemma. He's so sweet to me, but I don't feel much when I'm with him. He's not the one I want and I feel like I'm settling for someone until I find someone better. I don't want to have to settle.
Yes, I know, I shouldn't have been drinking. Friday was an awful day. My mother snapped again and called me crying and saying she wasn't going to make it. For a day, we were sure she was going to try and overdose on Tylenol PM. The same night, Butch called me telling me he thought he'd had a heart attack and he needed me to help him get his car started (long story).
Please don't think I'm a bad person. People make mistakes sometimes, right?